How NOT to build a DIY Chapter (Collaborative IA)

[GhostLegion]

Wow...didnt expect so much so soon...Nice work sgt Nacho

 

Let me see if I can modify and play with this some... edits/modifications in (...)

 

 

(As the Horus Heresy neared its peak and the loyalist legions of space marines rush to the defense of the Emperor and Terra, a chapter of the Ultramarines legion happened into a current in the Warp they believed would put them near Terra in time to be useful. Unfortunately, the swell turned into one of the few deep flows, pulling the battle barge Thrice Refracted Light down and leaving them becalmed, unable to move within the tides of the Emperyan. Searches for the barge and its escorts following the Battle of Terra (what is the name here? I forget) reveal nothing of the fate of the chapter, and the full brotherhood is declared lost, leading to a prolonged period of mourning throughout the children of Guilliman.)

 

(Millennia later the Ultra Templars reappeared, their warp scarred battle barge and escorts arriving just as the might of the Ultramarines was about to crumble before a Black Crusade. With the sudden arrival of fresh Astartes,) the Loyalist forces began to push (their traitorous brothers back) into the Eye of Terror. The Ultra Templars (had) returned.

 

(Following the triumphant defeat of the renegades, the combined fleet entered the orbit of an unrecorded planet, and the Thrice Refracted Light was soon hailed by a vessel of the Inquisition.) The (Master of the) Ultra Templars was (quickly determined to be a loyal son of the Emperor, and much was made of their return. But the Ultra Templars soon were made aware of the fate that had befallen the Emperor and his favored sons at the Battle of Terra, learning that even their Primarch had fallen in the shocking time that had passed since their disappearance. The leadership of the combined Imperial forces was shocked to learn the Ultra Templars were completely unaware of these events, but not as incredulous as the representatives of the Ultramarines Chapter were to find their long dead brothers suddenly returned to them.)

 

(Shortly thereafter, the Ultra Templars were brough to Terra, both in recognition of their auspicious arrival and to allow the High Lords to question the story of the chapter themselves. Assured the chapter was indeed loyal by the testimony of a then young sergeant Garyld Stewvart, the High Lords amended the rolls of Second Founding chapters to include the Ultra Templars, providing them both new heraldry and colors to separate and distinguish themselves from the Ultramarines. As an additional boon and reward for their saving of several companies of marines and Imperial Guard regiments when they returned, the Ultra Templars were given Venus as their new home. ) Venus, the shining star of the Sol System was untouched by the affects of war and, due to excellent terra-forming projects, remains the greatest agri-world in all the Imperium. (Soon after establishing themselves on their new world, the chapter was) sent with (an Inquisitorial observer) to quell a rebellion that was quickly growing out of controll.

 

(In the Vronix system the Ultra Templars were startled by the destruction and desolation the rebellion had spawned. A rapid strike of Thunderhawk Gunships raced to the defense of the last remaining hive in the system, finding it besieged by the metallic skeletal hordes of the Necrons. Incensed these Xenos would attempt to defy the will of the Emperor and inspired by the righteous fire of the Great Crusade which still burned through their being, the Ultra Templars surged to the defense of the population.) Wave after wave, enemy after enemy, (the Necrons pressed their) attacked. Their rank and file troops were just as strong, durable, and heavily armored as any space marine however, the Ultra Templars (chose that moment to display) their extreme fighting prowess and great marksmanship abilities (to the full), (destroying the Necron army in a single night). Every bolter shot rang true, (every sword strike struck home), destroying them and annihilating their bodies. (Even as the Necron horde worked to) rise from the dead and continue the fight, the Ultra Templars continued to beat them down. (Yet not all went as planned and the only casualty that day was the old master, the elder marine that had led the chapter for so long was no more. He was not mourned long, as his life had been a shining example to his brother marines even unto the end. Soon the chapter leadership named a new master, and the honors and trappings of leadership fell on the shoulders of then Captain Garyld Stewvart.)

 

(The Ultra Templars continue to serve as the bright star of the Adeptus Astartes, striking out from Venus in teams, squads, and companies to do the Emperor’s will and with the aide of their Inquisitorial allies.) Each Inquisitor (working with) the Ultra Templars has been the apprentice of the previous one, continuing the storied partnership through the ages. (These lucky inquisitors consider themselves privileged to have the wondrous opportunity to assist the Astartes find their way through the myriad of tired traps and troubles within the labyrinthine existence of the Administratum and other layers of bureaucracy. Likewise the Ultra Templars feed their pride with the knowledge that the Inquisition itself supports their decisions and actions, no matter the cause, no matter the result.)

 

 

 

Now, how does this look?

[GhostLegion]

Of Garyld Stewvart, Chapter Master of the Ultra Templars.

 

The early years of Garyld Stewvart in the Ultra Templars chapter remain a shining example of prowess and fortitude to be emulated by all newly risen scouts and battle brothers. From his legendary three day battle with an elder autarch of Beil-Tan, to his single combat subduing of a hive tyrant as a scout using only his chainsword, Garyld Stewvart proved time and again his perfection of the combat arts. It was no surprise to any of the Ultra Templars that shortly after becoming a full battle brother he was elevated to sergeant and given a squad to lead; and lead he did.

 

Not five years after entering the second company, Stewvart was inducted as its newest captain. His comrades and brothers in arms all knew that Stewvart was the leader they needed, cheering his rise and meeting his promotions with thunderous applause. Then the word came of the need for all loyal members of the Ultramarines legion to hasten quickly to the defense of Terra, the Heresy had struck. Unfortunately for the Ultra Templars, they did not reach the battle, instead appearing millennia later and light years from their intended destination. After appraising the situation and seeing a number of Ultramarine ships surrounded and being pounded by warped hulks of familiar vessels, Stewvart entered the frenzied fray, clearing a path to safety with his lone strike cruiser.

 

It was several years later that the Chapter Master of the Ultra Templars was killed by a Xenos blade that the chapter leadership identified Stewvart as the only possible successor. So then Captain Garyld Stewvart, with only a fist full of years as a commander, was named Chapter Master of the Ultra Templars. His powerful prowess and brilliant leadership proving time and again since his ascension that he is the most perfect leader of the preeminent chapter of the Adeptus Astartes, inspiring admiration from all who meet him.

 

 

 

 

----God help me, did I actually write that? who stole my tinfoil hat?!!----

[Donkey Kong]

Of Garyld Stewvart, Chapter Master of the Ultra Templars.

 

The early years of Garyld Stewvart in the Ultra Templars chapter remain a shining example of prowess and fortitude to be emulated by all newly risen scouts and battle brothers. From his legendary three day battle with an elder autarch of Beil-Tan, to his single combat subduing of a hive tyrant as a scout using only his chainsword, Garyld Stewvart proved time and again his perfection of the combat arts. It was no surprise to any of the Ultra Templars that shortly after becoming a full battle brother he was elevated to sergeant and given a squad to lead; and lead he did.

 

Not five years after entering the second company, Stewvart was inducted as its newest captain. His comrades and brothers in arms all knew that Stewvart was the leader they needed, cheering his rise and meeting his promotions with thunderous applause. Then the word came of the need for all loyal members of the Ultramarines legion to hasten quickly to the defense of Terra, the Heresy had struck. Unfortunately for the Ultra Templars, they did not reach the battle, instead appearing millennia later and light years from their intended destination. After appraising the situation and seeing a number of Ultramarine ships surrounded and being pounded by warped hulks of familiar vessels, Stewvart entered the frenzied fray, clearing a path to safety with his lone strike cruiser.

 

It was several years later that the Chapter Master of the Ultra Templars was killed by a Xenos blade that the chapter leadership identified Stewvart as the only possible successor. So then Captain Garyld Stewvart, with only a fist full of years as a commander, was named Chapter Master of the Ultra Templars. His powerful prowess and brilliant leadership proving time and again since his ascension that he is the most perfect leader of the preeminent chapter of the Adeptus Astartes, inspiring admiration from all who meet him.

 

 

 

 

----God help me, did I actually write that? who stole my tinfoil hat?!!----

 

My hat! Mine! :)

 

Brilliant, we've destroyed fluff as we know it. I feel so terrible yet so giddy.

 

I shall type something of sorts on Third Company Captain Flowers Master of the Arsenal, Hero of Serene Ascentus and all around nice person.

 

Captain Flowers was one of the first initiates to come from Venus. His parents were both farmers and genetics and willpower proved him to be a perfect candidate for the Astartes. As a scout Flowers was assigned to the third company, at the time led by Captain Stangler. His first assignment involved a small world neighboring the Eye of Terror called Ansem. Ansem was a small, small world with no satellites. The people of Ansem were modern, they possessed a functioning PDF with armored support, however, demon infestations and mutants plagued the world.

 

It was on Ansem Flowers became a full fledged Battle Brother, proving his worth after single handily banishing a Bloodthirster with a retinue of bloodletters into the warp armed with naught more than his chainsword, bolter and instinct. Using all his gifts, Flowers, at the time no older than sixteen standard years, spat acid and sliced furiously, destroying beasts that would make men soil themselves. Elsewhere, a battle brother fell, the only Marine to die that day, and that campaign. Flowers was blessed by Chaplain Weaver and bestowed a suit of power armor.

 

In the next decade, Flowers made a name for himself on the eighty third moon of the chaos world Serene. The surface of the planet was infested with warp spawn and men and men who looked like men but were not men. Flowers was Senior Veteran Sergeant, having command of a squad he personally tore into the heart of the world, besting and banishing Demons with bolter and chainsword. Upon reaching the heart of the world Flowers found a horrifying sight. The Bloodthirster he had banished as a mere neophyte rose once more from the hellish pit that was the Warp However, stronger and angrier. Summoners lay dead, their skulls popped out of their pathetic craniums.

 

The battle was long and furious with Flowers tearing with his Chainsword. The beast roared, shaking the room. Boldly, far bolder than any Astartes any Templar has seen previous or since, Flowers stood. His voice rang over that of the Bloodthirsters as he shouted for his men to retreat. Respectfully they accepted his order and left.

 

There Flowers stood, facing the terrible creature of the Blood God. Flowers eyed his foe and his foe eyed him. As the Bloodthirster made its move, Flowers pivoted, dodging the blow that would have killed ten thousand normal men. He climbed onto the Bloodthirster's horns, steadying himself as he lifted and tossed himself onto the beast's back. Flowers stood, balanced, chainsword in hands held downward, he stared at the beast, into it's empty eyes, and he whispered, loud enough so that the creature could hear him and loud enough so that he on Terra could hear him,

 

"For the Emperor," and Flowers plunged his chainsword into the beast's head, terrible screams erupted from the creature, and as Flowers finished his foe, he let it fall and he fell with it, landing firmly on his feet. Flowers turned and looked at the body unleashing an inhuman scream,

 

"GHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" And his scream rang on, for the rest of the battle. Later Flowers' squad would return for him, with

news that he was unanimously appointed the new Third Company Captain after the late Captain Stangler had met his fate at the hands of a gaggle of Daemonettes.

 

And such came the ascension of Captain Flowers.

[GhostLegion]

ghah!! I think i will need a stiff drink after this.

 

Ok...ive taken a whack at the history that sgtNacho so kindly outlined for us...ive added the chapter master background, and KingHongKong has added another character and the outline of the homeworld...

 

this is far more than I expected to get through in this insanity! someone else feel free to look all that material over and toss in a suggestion or two.

 

Two sections left (well really one, battle cry doesnt really count). How do we dare address the beliefs of this chapter?

 

All in all, I think we are almost ready to pull this together into IA format, not bad not bad...

[Donkey Kong]

Clearly we're humanitarians that treats the Emperor like he was uber human and not god. We're like Mary-sue Salamanders without skin conditions!

[sgtNACHO]

We could believe that the Emperor himself has chosen the Ultra Templars to lead humanity into the next step of human evolution. We could say that our librarians have found the consciousness of the Emperor. We constantly speak with him about the future of the Imperium and his plans. This then results in our belief of his uber humanness and not godly status. also having such a strong connection with the Emperor we have been told to show respect to the rest of humanity creating a very humanitarian chapter.

As for the battlecry perhaps "Only through us does the Imperium survive." or something like that saying the the Ultra Templars are the glue keeping the Imperium intact.

[rmoody100]

The gifting of venus still sounds very shallow and without good reason. I was thinking that the gifting of Venus could be related to the emperors Tarot? Say it has remained unpopulated for millennia as the emperors Tarot warned against any colonisation, disaster strikes any who go there - suddenly the Ultra Templars appear and the Tarot says that that is what venus has been waiting for. Real pre-destination / sword in the stone type stuff.

[Asmodeus' Swordhand]

looks like I have some reading to catch up on, but rmoody's recent post does make sense.

[GhostLegion]

The gifting of venus still sounds very shallow and without good reason. I was thinking that the gifting of Venus could be related to the emperors Tarot? Say it has remained unpopulated for millennia as the emperors Tarot warned against any colonisation, disaster strikes any who go there - suddenly the Ultra Templars appear and the Tarot says that that is what venus has been waiting for. Real pre-destination / sword in the stone type stuff.

 

 

I do have to say I kind of like this bit. Feel free to incorporate it if you want, then we can play around with the editing. Nothing like a bit more added to the kitchen sink afterall.

[Turtonic]

All the new stuff is fantastic! The story makes sense but is agony to read! Its perfect, although the teddy bear saving incedent was removed... The story for Flowers is perfect so I think someone else should get the teddy bear, a new character Veteran Sergeant Rutilus Lux Lucis, "Lucis" for short. His name means Shining Light in Latin and all he does embodies kindness and goodness. Now we just need a story for him

[rmoody100]

I wish I had more time to do more than put in vague ideas for others to work with.

[OwenCrute]

Don't forget the necessary cliche pyrrhic victory.

 

In the case on the Ultra Templars, losing one Marine is a pyrrhic victory- and furthermore, aforementioned single dead Marine died due to battlefield conditions, rather than being bested by the enemy.

 

I was toying with the idea of Deadface being left behind on a Space Hulk, Orks and Genestelers for somereason working together (AND possessed by Chaos) on all sides, then dividing by zero.

 

Boom.

[GhostLegion]

Well gang, as a lot of improvements (HA!) have been made, here again is the roll-up of current ideas on this chapter.

Chapter Name: Ultra Templars

Geneseed: Ultramarine

Founding: 2nd

History:

Concept: Lost in the Warp while attempting to return to Terra to assist in the defense against Horus and his Rebels. On return, were found by an Inquisitor who took them under his wing and brought them up to date with the results of the Heresy and now serves as an honored senior advisor (if not defacto leader) of the chapter...

Current draft: As the Horus Heresy neared its peak and the loyalist legions of space marines rush to the defense of the Emperor and Terra, a chapter of the Ultramarines legion happened into a current in the Warp they believed would put them near Terra in time to be useful. Unfortunately, the swell turned into one of the few deep flows, pulling the battle barge Thrice Refracted Light down and leaving them becalmed, unable to move within the tides of the Emperyan. Searches for the barge and its escorts following the Battle of Terra (what is the name here? I forget) reveal nothing of the fate of the chapter, and the full brotherhood is declared lost, leading to a prolonged period of mourning throughout the children of Guilliman.

Millennia later the Ultra Templars reappeared, their warp scarred battle barge and escorts arriving just as the might of the Ultramarines was about to crumble before a Black Crusade. With the sudden arrival of fresh Astartes, the Loyalist forces began to push their traitorous brothers back into the Eye of Terror. The Ultra Templars had returned.

Following the triumphant defeat of the renegades, the combined fleet entered the orbit of an unrecorded planet, and the Thrice Refracted Light was soon hailed by a vessel of the Inquisition. The Master of the Ultra Templars was quickly determined to be a loyal son of the Emperor, and much was made of their return. But the Ultra Templars soon were made aware of the fate that had befallen the Emperor and his favored sons at the Battle of Terra, learning that even their Primarch had fallen in the shocking time that had passed since their disappearance. The leadership of the combined Imperial forces was shocked to learn the Ultra Templars were completely unaware of these events, but not as incredulous as the representatives of the Ultramarines Chapter were to find their long dead brothers suddenly returned to them.

Shortly thereafter, the Ultra Templars were brough to Terra, both in recognition of their auspicious arrival and to allow the High Lords to question the story of the chapter themselves. Assured the chapter was indeed loyal by the testimony of a then young sergeant Garyld Stewvart, the High Lords amended the rolls of Second Founding chapters to include the Ultra Templars, providing them both new heraldry and colors to separate and distinguish themselves from the Ultramarines. As an additional boon and reward for their saving of several companies of marines and Imperial Guard regiments when they returned, the Ultra Templars were given Venus as their new home. Venus, the shining star of the Sol System was untouched by the affects of war and, due to excellent terra-forming projects, remains the greatest agri-world in all the Imperium. Soon after establishing themselves on their new world, the chapter was sent with an Inquisitorial observer to quell a rebellion that was quickly growing out of controll.

In the Vronix system the Ultra Templars were startled by the destruction and desolation the rebellion had spawned. A rapid strike of Thunderhawk Gunships raced to the defense of the last remaining hive in the system, finding it besieged by the metallic skeletal hordes of the Necrons. Incensed these Xenos would attempt to defy the will of the Emperor and inspired by the righteous fire of the Great Crusade which still burned through their being, the Ultra Templars surged to the defense of the population.) Wave after wave, enemy after enemy, (the Necrons pressed their attacked. Their rank and file troops were just as strong, durable, and heavily armored as any space marine however, the Ultra Templars chose that moment to display their extreme fighting prowess and great marksmanship abilities to the full, destroying the Necron army in a single night). Every bolter shot rang true, every sword strike struck home, destroying them and annihilating their bodies. Even as the Necron horde worked to rise from the dead and continue the fight, the Ultra Templars continued to beat them down. Yet not all went as planned and the only casualty that day was the old master, the elder marine that had led the chapter for so long was no more. He was not mourned long, as his life had been a shining example to his brother marines even unto the end. Soon the chapter leadership named a new master, and the honors and trappings of leadership fell on the shoulders of then Captain Garyld Stewvart.

The Ultra Templars continue to serve as the bright star of the Adeptus Astartes, striking out from Venus in teams, squads, and companies to do the Emperor’s will and with the aide of their Inquisitorial allies. Each Inquisitor working with the Ultra Templars has been the apprentice of the previous one, continuing the storied partnership through the ages. These lucky inquisitors consider themselves privileged to have the wondrous opportunity to assist the Astartes find their way through the myriad of tired traps and troubles within the labyrinthine existence of the Administratum and other layers of bureaucracy. Likewise the Ultra Templars feed their pride with the knowledge that the Inquisition itself supports their decisions and actions, no matter the cause, no matter the result.

Homeworld: Venus.

Concept: A pristine and unscarred shining example of all that is right, good, and perfect within the Imperium...a single world that is what Terra would have been without the sprawling hive city that covers the planet.

Rmoody on the Homeworld: The below still sounds very shallow and without good reason. I was thinking that the gifting of Venus could be related to the emperors Tarot? Say it has remained unpopulated for millennia as the emperors Tarot warned against any colonisation, disaster strikes any who go there - suddenly the Ultra Templars appear and the Tarot says that that is what venus has been waiting for. Real pre-destination / sword in the stone type stuff.

General Description: The planet will have hive cities, but nothing will be underground, the lowest level will be ground level and there will be no gang warfare. Everything is peaceful and every level has access to seeing the sun. In addition, the hive city runs completely on alternative energy, solar panels line the walls and windmills tower on the lower levels. Every room used for sleeping is comfortable for housing standard families of six, this includes parents, children, grandparents. Each level has restaurants, stores, libraries and schools. All children are educated to an exceptional degree, children known how to read and write by four standard years and begin advanced sciences and arithmetic at nine standard years.

The ground itself is fertile worldwide and produces the most beautiful flowers on this side of Armageddon. Trees tower higher than the redwoods of old Terra. Researches on the world are all master botanists. Graveyards are kept outside with flowers grown by local groundskeepers. The seasons shift between Spring and Summer, the temperature is warm and comfortable always with a cool breeze. In addition to these fertile fields, the planet is covered in hundreds of naturally formed lakes. These lakes are the homes to hundreds of fish species with gorgeous colors. Fishing is a worldwide hobby.

The world maintains a planetary defense force numbering some several thousand men, each wears a modified bulky suit, originally intended for moving cargo. The suit runs on grass clippings and is armed with plasma rifles which never overheat and bolters with various specialized munitions.

The planet's primary export is flower seeds, some worlds rely exclusively on the world for their flowers and Armageddon's terraforming after three wars relies almost exclusively on the planet. Valhallans, Elysians, Kriegers, Cadians, Tallarns, Mordians, Praetorians, almost every world, imports flowers, wood and seeds from the planet. The Emperor's Palace itself is decorated with these flowers, hand planted by the Emperor's Custodian Guard. A secondary export is fish, these are also shipped to Terra itself where the Emperor's Palace's fish tanks are filled with them, again maintained by the Emperor's Custodian Guard. Because of these exports and being home to a Space Marine Chapter, the planet is not called on to supply men for the Imperial Guard.

Organization: Strictly Codex Adherent. It is a perfect book afterall. ???

Beliefs:

Concepts: 1) humanitarians that treats the Emperor like he was uber human and not god. We're like Mary-sue Salamanders without skin conditions

2) the Emperor himself has chosen the Ultra Templars to lead humanity into the next step of human evolution. our librarians have found the consciousness of the Emperor and constantly speak with him about the future of the Imperium and his plans. This then results in the belief of his uber humanness and not godly status. also having such a strong connection with the Emperor we have been told to show respect to the rest of humanity creating a very humanitarian chapter.

Battle Cry:

Choices Remain: 1) We rise again with greater splendour

2) Be saved even though you are filthy

3) "Only through us does the Imperium survive."

Of Garyld Stewvart, Chapter Master of the Ultra Templars.

The early years of Garyld Stewvart in the Ultra Templars chapter remain a shining example of prowess and fortitude to be emulated by all newly risen scouts and battle brothers. From his legendary three day battle with an elder autarch of Beil-Tan, to his single combat subduing of a hive tyrant as a scout using only his chainsword, Garyld Stewvart proved time and again his perfection of the combat arts. It was no surprise to any of the Ultra Templars that shortly after becoming a full battle brother he was elevated to sergeant and given a squad to lead; and lead he did.

Not five years after entering the second company, Stewvart was inducted as its newest captain. His comrades and brothers in arms all knew that Stewvart was the leader they needed, cheering his rise and meeting his promotions with thunderous applause. Then the word came of the need for all loyal members of the Ultramarines legion to hasten quickly to the defense of Terra, the Heresy had struck. Unfortunately for the Ultra Templars, they did not reach the battle, instead appearing millennia later and light years from their intended destination. After appraising the situation and seeing a number of Ultramarine ships surrounded and being pounded by warped hulks of familiar vessels, Stewvart entered the frenzied fray, clearing a path to safety with his lone strike cruiser.

It was several years later that the Chapter Master of the Ultra Templars was killed by a Xenos blade that the chapter leadership identified Stewvart as the only possible successor. So then Captain Garyld Stewvart, with only a fist full of years as a commander, was named Chapter Master of the Ultra Templars. His powerful prowess and brilliant leadership proving time and again since his ascension that he is the most perfect leader of the preeminent chapter of the Adeptus Astartes, inspiring admiration from all who meet him.

Of Captain Flowers Master of the Arsenal, Hero of Serene Ascentus, Commander of the Third Company of Ultra Templars:

Captain Flowers was one of the first initiates to come from Venus. His parents were both farmers and genetics and willpower proved him to be a perfect candidate for the Astartes. As a scout Flowers was assigned to the third company, at the time led by Captain Stangler. His first assignment involved a small world neighboring the Eye of Terror called Ansem. Ansem was a small, small world with no satellites. The people of Ansem were modern, they possessed a functioning PDF with armored support, however, demon infestations and mutants plagued the world.

It was on Ansem Flowers became a full fledged Battle Brother, proving his worth after single handily banishing a Bloodthirster with a retinue of bloodletters into the warp armed with naught more than his chainsword, bolter and instinct. Using all his gifts, Flowers, at the time no older than sixteen standard years, spat acid and sliced furiously, destroying beasts that would make men soil themselves. Elsewhere, a battle brother fell, the only Marine to die that day, and that campaign. Flowers was blessed by Chaplain Weaver and bestowed a suit of power armor.

In the next decade, Flowers made a name for himself on the eighty third moon of the chaos world Serene. The surface of the planet was infested with warp spawn and men and men who looked like men but were not men. Flowers was Senior Veteran Sergeant, having command of a squad he personally tore into the heart of the world, besting and banishing Demons with bolter and chainsword. Upon reaching the heart of the world Flowers found a horrifying sight. The Bloodthirster he had banished as a mere neophyte rose once more from the hellish pit that was the Warp However, stronger and angrier. Summoners lay dead, their skulls popped out of their pathetic craniums.

The battle was long and furious with Flowers tearing with his Chainsword. The beast roared, shaking the room. Boldly, far bolder than any Astartes any Templar has seen previous or since, Flowers stood. His voice rang over that of the Bloodthirsters as he shouted for his men to retreat. Respectfully they accepted his order and left.

There Flowers stood, facing the terrible creature of the Blood God. Flowers eyed his foe and his foe eyed him. As the Bloodthirster made its move, Flowers pivoted, dodging the blow that would have killed ten thousand normal men. He climbed onto the Bloodthirster's horns, steadying himself as he lifted and tossed himself onto the beast's back. Flowers stood, balanced, chainsword in hands held downward, he stared at the beast, into it's empty eyes, and he whispered, loud enough so that the creature could hear him and loud enough so that he on Terra could hear him,

"For the Emperor," and Flowers plunged his chainsword into the beast's head, terrible screams erupted from the creature, and as Flowers finished his foe, he let it fall and he fell with it, landing firmly on his feet. Flowers turned and looked at the body unleashing an inhuman scream,

"GHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" And his scream rang on, for the rest of the battle. Later Flowers' squad would return for him, with

news that he was unanimously appointed the new Third Company Captain after the late Captain Stangler had met his fate at the hands of a gaggle of Daemonettes.

And such came the ascension of Captain Flowers.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The chapter badge is the Black Templar cross with the Ultramarine U surrounding it. Do we want this in white or do we want different coloration on it?

The chapter heraldry is:

Note squad type and helmet stripe indicate company. Yes, those are supposed to be gold plated weapons

Current goals for us: 1) Beliefs 2) Organization 3) Battle Cry

Looks like we are getting close to formatting time. Anyone want to take a crack at some edits? Any revisionist commentary?

[Asmodeus' Swordhand]

beliefs number two is my vote

[Hubernator]

Scheme... lets see... *bulb* I has it!

 

http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg17/Hubernator/UltraTemplars.jpg

 

Just my take on it :lol:

[Marshal Renatus]

I think the color scheme has to be more pronounced. Maybe like a pure metallic silver with bright gold trim. These guys are the most uber of the uber-ites. With a name as arrogant as the Ultra-Templar...I'm thinking some bling is in order. Think about all the cute little awards the Ultrasmurfs like to stick on each other, and combine that with all the heraldry and gothic-style metal work you see on the Black Templar. Helbrecht is a perfect example, in fact, of just how over the top it should be. The dude has a solid gold/bronze set of power armor, complete with ever-burning candles, sword, chains, lanterns, censors...

 

Just my two cents, but if we are trying to make ridiculous functional...I think the marketing department would all agree that we need to have a product that "pops" on the shelf.

[sgtNACHO]

I like the original paintjob. It has the (we are awesome) silver mixed in with a little badass (blue).

Also as far as bling all our weapons are gold plated and perhaps we should give all our librarians large medallions with a stone the size of a midget. (I'm sure the Eldar would let us borrow some B)).

I made the 2nd concept for beliefs just to give a very Mary-Sue ( I think you guys call it) reasoning behind their Salamanders, without acne, status.

Oh and Hubernator nice blue cod piece ;) But i dont like the bronze/orange metal you have on there.

[Asmodeus' Swordhand]

I like the first scheme also.

[Donkey Kong]

I prefer GhostLegion's scheme. I feel a n... ne... nee... NEED to make another character. Someone give me a name, I'll work with it! Flowers needs subordinates!

[Asmodeus' Swordhand]

a new character Veteran Sergeant Rutilus Lux Lucis, "Lucis" for short. His name means Shining Light in Latin

sounds cool I think.

[sgtNACHO]

Hey KingHongKong how about Sergeant Nacho?!?!?!? Oh yeah i know thats my name :lol: I defintly didn't do that on purpose. Anyway as for names how about

 

Tunak

Frodo

Axel

Steel

Lars

Umlat

(oh did i just add 2 guitar hero names :lol: i didnt even do the first on purpose.)

Malcias

Nemo

Marvin

Volvo

Frank

Relistan

Callistarius

Wonderboy

Bendak Starkiller

Vader

Kane

Lynch

Evon

Corbichevski

Romanov

(etc. etc. etc.) :whistling:

[Asmodeus' Swordhand]

No Starkiller. We've already decided not to use star wars references

[GhostLegion]

No more characters for now. None. Nada. Zero.

 

We have two characters to flesh out a bit and make them fit into the structure of an IA article, that is enough.

 

We also have more important issues than characters to attend to...like finishing out the IA article?

 

So..all this enthusiasm is good (great infact), but lets channel it into the three focus areas. Again: 1) Beliefs 2) Organization 3) Battle Cry

 

Once we finish all this out, then we need to edit and rewrite the thing into an IA format that works.

 

NO MORE CHARACTERS...FINISH THE ARTICLE!!!!!

 

(and yes...no star wars character names, no GW employee names (current or former), no video game names, do I need to go on?)

[Donkey Kong]

:whistling: . . . :lol:

 

Beliefs. Hmmm... I'm at a loss. Battlecry, I vote that we use all three, it's not like some chapters don't shout "FOR THE EMPEROR!" from time to time.

[Octavulg]

I thought this was trying to be lousy. -_- Skipping the beliefs section would be good. Alternately, assume they worship the Emperor but don't actually say how. Knowing dark secrets of the Imperium no one else knows is also good.