<<begin transmission>> Hello! I'm norfus, just a normal guy fighting for the Emperor and for Terra. I've seen 14 hours and 59 minutes of combat so far! I think I'm doing pretty great. I've been brought from my distant hive to defend the Imperial Palace against the traitor legions and, fingers crossed, so far so good.
Before all this... madness... I lived a pretty normal life working on the farm. I liked to play video games like Stellaris, Championship Manager 2, Space Marine and Horus Is Awesome (although we're not allowed to play that one any more ever since... welll... you know...) and I used to paint miniatures, and play with them sometimes too! I never used to win very much. I loved to read, especially about the Horus Heresy - ha! I used to think that was all fiction! But now I've seen a space marine with my own eyes, and I know it's all real. Primarchs, the Emperor, the heresy, all of it.
Anyway, I've got to sign off now; the transport has arrived at its destination. I'm not quite sure where we are... some spaceport near some wall. Sure it'll be fine. Ok, here goes. Wait, what's that? What's that sound? What is that?!...
AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! WHAT THE <<transmission ends>>