Grand Admiral Thrawn

Animals don't have technique other than the instinct for preying and survival. Not sure how Space Marines could learn from giant mantises other than emulating some characteristics.

I'd be interested in helping.

What's up fellow anti-Nuglite? ;) It would seem with this statement that the Wraiths should also hate Khorne for mindless violence and Slaanesh for mindless indulgence. At this point it seems like you're Nurgle bashing. Nothing wrong with that but it makes for better writing if you're Undivided or favor one power. Besides, Nurgle can grant gifts of endurance of incredible pain, very useful for holding vital ground or as a stinky meatshield. Why do they want companies made up of the same gene-seed source? Seems odd without any justification. So you're traitors are bigger than most Codex Chapters, even though they're from the 21st Founding where the gene-seed from here is said to be degenerating. I find this hard to believe as they would have a tough time getting supplies (read raiding) and Loyalists would be hounding you non stop, slowly dwindling their numbers over time. Where did they import the slaves from? It would seem someone somewhere might get angry when this happened. It would be easier to comment if everything was here at once for C&C rather than haphazardly added in different posts. Also, I'm too lazy to go looking for the old thread. :P

I'm going to have to repeat the pink sentiment. I whipped up my own Bronze Prophet with REAL lavender on it :huh: Real Lavender. Now, on to the meat and potatoes. I think "pride" would be a better word instead of "pleasure". "chapter" should be capitalized. Get rid of the parenthesis and replace them with commas. Parenthesis tells the reader that what is contained within is useless information that can be omitted. I think the second "rot" could be replaced with "disintegrate" so I'm not reading it twice in the same sentence. This should be hyphenated. "City-states." There should be a comma after "empires" and no comma after "communes". How can the people be united if they constantly fight each other? There should be a comma after "prophecy". Doesn't the Church belong to the Ecclesiarchy? If so, why would they allow the Chapter to set up shop within their holy building, especially with the Space Marines' tendency to deny the divinity of the Emperor? Get rid of the parenthesis. Replace the left one with a comma and get rid of the right one. There should a comma after "who are" and after "anything". Wicked awesome quote. Again with the parenthesis! Replace with commas. I really like this paragraph. I would suggest adding "to a humiliating defeat," after "this has been known to cost the Prophets what would have been an easy victory". So far I'm really liking this Chapter, especially the PINK and white color scheme going on. It's a nice twist from the usual Librarian fetish that I often see when someone tries to make them and prophecies the focal point of his or her article.

I go to the Great Lakes Crossing GW. Haven't been there in a while because I'm flat out of money.