Snozz Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 Well written. Flows well. I think you meant assent, not ascent at the end. I'm not going to elaborate on it, or berate the point, but the ending is a [i need a better adjective than CLIFFHANGER...]. I'm not going to elaborate on it, or berate the point, but the ending is annoying-and-frustrating-hurry-up-and-write-more-type-ending. :P Seriously good stuff, I love this story. :lol: -_- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueWaterDragon Posted October 28, 2008 Author Share Posted October 28, 2008 I've changed it! Sorry but I'm sometimes blind to the difference, dyslexia's a swine sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snozz Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 More to read. :lol: Need more to read. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshall Strat Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I've changed it! Sorry but I'm sometimes blind to the difference, dyslexia's a swine sometimes. Don't apologize. I only knew the difference myself because I got nailed on it on a paper in college. Don't apologize for typos: that's what editors are for. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Cambrius Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Woo! More writings! A big :) from me BWD. Cambrius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueWaterDragon Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 Right, I'm finally full online! Here at last the end of the second chapter of Truth! Enjoy and apologies for being away so long! The Chapter-Master lit a reed and pitch torch, and pulled aside the banner, revealing a door. It opened to his touch and they stepped through into darkness. The weightlessness was abrupt, as was its cessation ten minutes later. The doors opened onto a darkened corridor, its Gothic vaulted ceiling had once been painted in astounding frescoes, but they were now faded and patchy. But Indarin could actually name a lot of the battles they depicted. One painting that spanned down the wall, showed a man, taller than the other Marines, and Indarin recognised him instantly. “Roboute Gulliman,” he said, reaching up and touching it reverentially. “Yes, I believe that you may have seen your own Primarch in battle, and I thought it would be only fair if I introduced you to mine.” “Yes I did, but I cannot tell you who he was.” Indarin looked at the floor and then back up at the painting. “It doesn't matter, come on.” Calgar turned and walked on down the corridor, taking the torch with him, Indarin followed silently. They entered a large cavern after what seemed to be forever. In the centre was a raised dais with a glass case set into it. Massive cables plugged into it, some of them twitched in the darkness, pulsating to their own rhythm. Indarin ascended the steps of the dais to look into the tank but the glass was rendered opaque by frost. He wiped his hand over it, and looked into the face laid on a velvet coverlet. Calgar joined him and Indarin was struck by the resemblance. He wondered if the superficial changes, his hair and skin colour had changed within a few months after his implantation, were purely cosmetic or something that the Emperor had intended. Like the colour of a Legion's armour, was it something that united all Space Marines? He did not know it was a question that he would have to ponder later. “So you have seen Roboute Gulliman in the flesh.” Calgar said reverentially, touching the glass next to Indarin's hand print. “I can only pray that you find that which you seek. I'm sorry that I can't help you any further.” “One of the other documents was a request for Battle-Brothers for the creation of a new Chapter.” “Yes I saw that, but let us discuss it back in my chambers.” Tigurius was sitting with one leg crossed over the other, holding a pen upright six inches from his fingertips. His expression was one of a child at Christmas, totally intent on what he was doing. As he passed, Calgar flicked it out of the air, drawing a sigh from the Librarian. "Here Indarin," he said tossing a paper down on the desk with the roll of others. "There is a battle-barge heading for Baal, you will be transferred to it." "What about Telorna?" Indarin asked. There was silence as Calgar and Tigurius looked at each other. "She will be safer here, Indarin." Tigurius said. "You have a hard task ahead of you, and you don't need to be worrying about her." Indarin closed his eyes. "Then so be it. I can't exactly say no to a Chief-Librarian and a Chapter Master can I?" Calgar slapped him on the shoulder. "Off you go Brother, behave on Baal do you hear me?" "Yes my Lord." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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