Brazen Fists: Last round, ere we go...

[Luy22]

Name: Brazen Fists

 

Chapter Colours: http://usera.imagecave.com/Luy22/BF.jpg

 

Background: A Codex Adherent Chapter. Not very well-known. Uses Imperial Fist geneseed.

Successor of the Imperial Fists. They get their name by how stubborn and stern they are. They always set up a wall of troops, slowly advancing towards the enemy, bolters roaring as they go. Formed last-second by the High Lords of Terra.

 

Their homeworld is that of Ith, a world covered in desert, broken by oasises and dense, thick jungles. It is located in the Segmentum Tempestus. The nights on Ith are ice-cold, and the days are very hot. Most cities are built underground, spanning miles deep underneath the world's crust. Only one city, Charlon, is built on the surface. Charlon is built on top of a high mesa that is surrounded by a thick jungle, which expands out into the desert. It is on the cooler side of the planet, so jungles in the area are much more frequent, as is rain. There are, however, very very small mining towns on the hotter sides of the planet, built into mountains, composed of shacks.

 

The Fortress Monastery of the Brazen Fists is located deep within a hot, agonizing canyon full of great carnivorous lizards that would devour the unsuspecting visitor in a single sweep. It, like many cities built on the world, is underground, and expands deeper than any city on the planet. There is a great tunnel network to every city, giving the civilians easy-access to the fortress if any attacks come.

 

Beset on all sides: They truly are. A Chaos renegade force, it's leader calling them the Seven Nation Army, has been taking agri-worlds nearest to Ith, and the Fists are always in combat with them. Not only that, but the Eldar Ga'wld Craftworld has drifted somehow into the system. Worse yet, the dreaded Hive Splinter Fleet now known as Hive Fleet Manta is shadowing Ith and her worlds. The Fists are in their darkest times yet.

 

 

Organization: They follow the Codex Astartes strictly.

 

History: After the invasion on Rynns World, the Crimson Fists required to bolster their defenses. On the planet of Ith, where (at the time) underground mining colonies were frequent, the Orks had a base built, where they were terrorizing the miners, and launching Ork attacks to the Crimson Fists homeworld. Angered, Cantor sent a contingent of marines to the planet, led by Captain Reno. After fighting the Orks off the planet after a long invasion. These marines set up a base. The Orks continued pressing attacks, but the marines refused to give ground. Eventually, the Orks discontinued their attacks, and abandoned the planet.

Afterwards, Reno was commanded to hold here, building on the base. The cities of Ith thrived, growing larger. Eventually, The High Lords of Terra gave permission for a new Chapter, as the Segmentum Tempestus required more protection from the Greenskin menace (and other Xeno threats) It was a splinter-Chapter. After many months of testing, new sets of special Marine organs by the Adeptus Mechanicus on Mars were officially sanctioned by the Master of Adeptus Mechanicus and then by the High Lords of Terra "speaking for the Emperor". The Brazen Fists were born. Now the Crimson Fists were returned to Rynns World. Reno stayed as the new Chapter Master, along with several marines. Recruiting began. They quickly gained many new recruits from the workers and miners children. All were strong and all had strong hearts and will.

 

Recruitment: They recruit from the cities of Ith. They mainly recruit from the factory workers, who are as young as 10. They are already strong, having worked in the dark factories far beneath the surface the majority of their young lives. A Chaplain enters the cities once every year with two marines. They gather up every child they deem worthy, and bring them to the city square, where they examine them. They ask them riddles and questions (starting out easy then getting harder as they go.). Once this is finished, they take whatever hopefuls they have, and take this retinue of children to the next city and the process repeats itself.

 

After recruited, the raw recruits are taken back to the Fortress Monastery to be inducted. The Chaplains see to all this, and then after much schooling and teaching, the organs that separate man from superman are slowly implanted. Once finished, all are put into the Scout Company. From here, they go onto their final test.

 

Doom Heights, the nickname given to the great, unstable mountains filled with abandoned mining towns and shafts. It is closed off due to rockslides and a thick jungle that surrounds it. The area was colonized around the time the planet was hit by Human feet, but the Imperium abandoned it due to it being unstable land, leaving much of their machinery behind. Nightmareish creatures from the jungles moved in, and lurk in the dark areas here as well, making it the worst place on the planet. Most of the year, it is on the side of the planet where it is night longer than it is day, and where rainstorms are frequent.

 

Scouts are given a combat knife, a bolt pistol, several rations and a medical kit each. Then, the squad is dropped off by Thunderhawk and must survive one month within this hellish area. If they succeed, they are fully inducted as Battle Brothers.

 

Geneseed: They use Imperial Fist geneseed.

 

Symbol: A hammer on the left shoulderpad, a scimitar on the opposite. Marines wielding flamers have flames painted on their right shoulderpads.

 

If they have performed valiant acts on the field of battle, they paint their helmet crests orange. The chaplains define a good deed. Saving a battle brother counts as one, and taking out enemies much larger than them counts too. Surviving against a horrid enemy also counts.

 

sergeants have white circles on their left shoulderpads.

Edited October 14, 2008 by Luy22

[Kastellan Kong]

Ok, here goes, a couple of things.

 

1. Nice colurs scheme, clean and simple.

 

2. So the chapter is fighting Jack White? Cool! ^_^

 

3. They do seem to be up their necks in aliens, maybe drop one or two of them and focus on one building it up into a real rivalry. Right now it feels like too much of everything. I'm guessing your friends play chaos, eldar, tyranids and orcs right?

 

4. The Crimson Fists are in NO shape to create a splinter chapter. They are fairly well desimated as it is and are rebuilding the chapter. Not sure if this would work, maybe, but I personally doubt it.

[Luy22]

2. My friend who plays chaos is a big, BIG fan of the White Stripes. :P

 

4. It's mostly an Imperial Fist splinter chapter.

[Luy22]

Can anybody help me mold this thing into an IA article? Everytime I try, I fail... Horribly...

 

Also, I've played my first game with em. Was winning. But the damn forces of Chaos and nids just chewed me up... It ended up being a tie because everyone else just wanted to play GTAIV.

 

Lesson learned: If you're going to have an apocalypse game, have A LOT of time open for it first.

Edited July 21, 2008 by Luy22

[Hubernator]

What do you mean by "mould"?? Looks wise or fluff wise?? If looks wise I could help you using the way of the BBCode :rolleyes: If it's fluff wise then wait for one of the more wiser members to check it out.

[Race Bannon]

I'm not good at helping out. Heck, my own IA is taking forever to complete.

 

One thing you could do is talk a little bit about some parts. Like this one:

 

Geneseed: They use Imperial Fist geneseed.

 

Alrighty. I get it. You get it. We get it. But maybe you could throw in some of your fluff to make this statement more than it is.

 

I get the impression that people who write DIY IA (or even make a DIY Chapter) like the idea that their chapter is just as cool as ... the Black Templars. That somehow an IA justifies personal (versus corporate) creativity. That's all good. But to make a good IA demands more than just common statements like the one above, no offense.

 

I don't know if that helps. But I hope you get the idea.

 

:rolleyes:

[Luy22]

I meant look-wise. Everytime I attempt one, the stuff gets all jumbled up in one big text box, and when I go back to edit it, lots of parts are somehow deleted and.... it gets difficult...

[Hubernator]

Start off with a header. Copy this in:

 

[ basicheader=990000]Basicheader[ /basicheader]

 

Remove the spaces and replace "Basicheader" with "Brazen Fists". The number represents colour so you can use the SM Painter and copy the colour code you want.

 

For the picture you could do this:

 

[ captionleft=Chapter Colours]Content goes here[ /captionleft]

 

And with the picture copy it and paste it where "Content goes here" is. Make sure to remove the spaces from it also.

Edited July 21, 2008 by Hubernator

[Octavulg]

My own BBCode also gets messed up when I edit. Hence why I actually do all my IA writing in wordpad, including code, then cut and paste.

 

That ought to work a little better for you.

[Brother Scythe]

Chapter name - Why the Brazen Fists? Chapters normally have something about them for the name, the fist I understand, Geneseed but why Brazen? I mean you claim it is because of how stubborn they are, yet the term Brazen means either mature age or shameless/impudent. The only possible reference to toughness is mayber Brass, but that is far fetched. Also while fists is ok, why not Hammers or Sickles or something closer to your chapter.

 

Background - Formed last second by the High Lords? What do you mean. All chapters are thought out and created for a certian purpose. They don't simply go "and for the 21st(or whatever)founding we have 17 chapters......but I dislike the number 17 so we're going to throw in another just to mix it up" Think about that a little more. Why were they founded?

 

So let me get this...the cities all have very easy access tunnels to the Monestary in case of attacks? Sounds odd. Chapters hide their monestaries so that only they or their most honoured visitors may ever enter even small portions of it. To have it open to anyone is not marine like at all, and reaks of bad tactics, I mean how easy would it be for an enemy force to get into one of these tunnels, and please do not say oh there are doors, or turrets or some such.

 

Beset on all sides - So they have a massive invasion force of Chaos(with a terrible name...based of a decent song), a Eldar Craftworld(Whose names sounds close to the Ga'uld of the Stargate series)and a Tyranid splinter fleet all in their system? I'd be throwing in the towel if I were them, no point in fighting that kind of war. Perhaps these are the enemies you face often but still focus on one enemy whom they have in a nearby system as their main enemy.

 

History - Drop the Crimson Fists reference and switch it with any other chapter(real or not)to make it better. After the Rynns world incident the chapter rebuild at home, not sent out armies. Next perhaps have Reno be the one who was given the task of leading this chapter but fix up the story. Next problem is the fact they were created to fight off the Ork threat, yet they are always fighting Chaos, Nids and Eldar. Seems like a crappy place to be, clean it up.

 

New organs? for what? They don't live in anything harsh so why are your marines so special they need new special organs created for them? Also that doesn't really happen.....Also seems that alot went into a chapter that was created "at the last minute"

 

Recruitment - Every two years? and they take everyone they deem worthy, that isn't very effective recruitment. Only a TINY portion of people can make marine so recruitment that scarce could lead to a dead chapter after any large engagment, especially with the time it takes to create the marines. Riddles? Sounds like a weird way to see who is combat fit and mentally ready for a fight(remember people who are a bad at riddles generally have a higher IQ)

 

Now the idea of a the test is good, but first off a month is an ungodly long time, especially in such bad circumstances. Second why waste valuable marines. This might be a better test before they are given all the training and organs of a marine. Likewise this could instead be a rite of passage in the veteran company for experianced marines or those who have performed some action of valour.

 

Geneseed - Interesting.......fluff it out. Talk about these new organs or something.

 

Symbol - Way to complex, chapters have a single unifying symbol. Giving them out for different things is odd and takes away from the fluff and I imagine the look of the army.

 

On the note of the "valiant actions" these are typical actions marines are expected to do in combat any day.

 

It is a good start but needs some serious fleshing out and rethought.

[Luy22]

I'll edit the fluff a bit once I get home from school. Anyone know any way I could make it better?

 

I will admit, their chapter history, I do not like. I think it's crap to be honest. :P

[Imperial Knight]

Ok here is my two cents.

 

when I write IA's and granted I have not finished one mainly because I edit, than find a new I dea, re-edit remove, than add and so on and so on. But I try to tell a short story with my IA not just detail the chapter. Second I concur with several people above, pick one, maybe two baddies to be rivaled with anything more can just get overwhelming in the writing stage. Not to mention it kind of goes without saying that they will encounter at some point and time various enemies of the Imperium, you don't have to list them all. Perhaps do a time line for your chapter and than fluff out each section one at a time. Just my two cents, you have a good concept, just brainstorm some ideas and work through them.

[Luy22]

Ok here is my two cents.

 

when I write IA's and granted I have not finished one mainly because I edit, than find a new I dea, re-edit remove, than add and so on and so on. But I try to tell a short story with my IA not just detail the chapter. Second I concur with several people above, pick one, maybe two baddies to be rivaled with anything more can just get overwhelming in the writing stage. Not to mention it kind of goes without saying that they will encounter at some point and time various enemies of the Imperium, you don't have to list them all. Perhaps do a time line for your chapter and than fluff out each section one at a time. Just my two cents, you have a good concept, just brainstorm some ideas and work through them.

 

 

Yarp, will work on it...

[Marius Perdo]

@Luy22: Looking at your Scimitar Knights IA, and the fact it is more recent than this and the heraldry looks identical, I take it you have dropped the name Brazen Fists?

 

Just curious as I am going to do my own DIY Chapter and using the GW/FW Fist iconography packs, and Brazen Fists was something I'd considered.

Edited October 30, 2010 by Marius Perdo