IA: Ghost Dragons

[Reyner]

Index Astartes: Ghost Dragons

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"What we do in life, echoes in enternity!"

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v670/AndyReyner/White_Dragons_badgecopy.jpg

Chapter Emblem

Origins

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v670/AndyReyner/tacticalsquadtrooper-2.jpg

Ghost Dragons Tactical, 4th Company Marine

Created in the 26th Founding the Ghost Dragons are a young, but eager Chapter and are desperate to proves themselves. Trained by a cadre of Salamanders Space Marines, they were taught to destroy their foes without mercy with purifying flame and plasma. They were also told of the importance of every Imperial citizen, for without the common people there is no Imperium. This mindset has made them heroes to many civilians in their home and nearby systems, for they know they will not be forsaken and used as bait. Unfortunately for the Ghost Dragons this belief in humanity has cost them; the 3rd Company was ravaged by Tyranids as they bought time for the evacuation to be completed on Arnok IV. There has also been incidents with other Astartes a famous example amongst the Ghost Dragons was when Captain Galvanon of the 4th Company punched an Iron Hands Clan Leader for ordering his men to fire into a panicking crowd of civilians.

Homeworld
The Ghost Dragons have a homeworld located on the Eastern Fringe. Noverion, a cold desolate world with a rich supply of minerals, around 75% of the surface is covered in snow and ice with only three regions suitable for human settlement. The three regions are all isolated from each other by massive mountain ranges and glaciers, travelling between the regions make it almost impossible for the tribes due to the frequent avalanches and the dreadful beasts that roam the mountains.
It is from these beasts that the Ghost Dragons get their name. Large winged reptiles with a breath and fire, jaws capable of biting battle tanks in half and talons used to climb the mountains. These monsters will latch themselves to the mountain sides for days waiting for potential prey; white as snow they are almost invisible to the eye as they watch their prey from a distance. Once something is in sight the Dragon will unlatch itself from its vantage point and silently dive, once close it will roar freezing its prey in terror then burn them alive. The only warning before the roar is a short, heavier snow fall as the beast moves shaking off the accumulated snow as it dives towards its prey.
The interaction between the Marines and the tribes of Noverion is common, throughout the year Marines will visit each tribe to teach them the art of blacksmithing and keep an eye on potential recruits. At the end of the year hopefuls will be gathered and subjected to many trials, which will eventually lead to the killing of a Ghost Dragon, a very dangerous enemy that the survivors quickly learn to work together or die alone as the beast drops on them. The final task of killing the winged monster is done in a team.

There has recently been a troubling increase of Tau investigating the Noverion system which the Ghost Dragons Chapter has been quick to respond to. Captured Tau claim their leader has decided to launch his own crusade in revenge for the Damocles Gulf Crusade, the prisoners have claimed their leader broke away from the Tau Empire. There have also been reports of other Tau forces trying to advance their empire, dubbing it the Third Expansion Phase. The Ghost Dragons are keen to defend their home system and ensure other Imperial worlds close by do not fall.

The Ambassador

Tau; foolish creatures. Claiming they can unite the galaxy, a mockery of the Great Crusade he thought. The idea filled him with anger, but in good tastes he allowed the alien to try to sway him, he needed a laugh. "As representative of the Water Caste I wish to extend the idea of the Greater Good to you, great warrior. Surely one such as you can understand why this galaxy must be united?" He looked at the alien, its blue skin, bony plate in the middle of its forehead; at least it was humanoid and could talk.
"Yes I can see why it would be a good idea, but unfortunately I think it would be better united under Humanity and not Xenos like yourself. So here is my answer." Reaching into his holster he removed the clip from his Bolt Pistol and removed a single Bolt, with his other hand he unsheathed his combat knife which he then placed on the table with the Bolt. "This is my answer Tau. You make any further moves towards my home or any Imperial world know that both of these will be somewhere within your body."

Combat Doctrine
The Ghost Dragons Chapter fights like the beasts from where it gets its name. It will study its enemy, observing its strengths and weaknesses and once the moment is right will launch a surprise attack spreading panic through the enemy ranks. Thunderhawks will swoop down strafing the enemy then hover allowing Marines to exit and begin a close range fire fight, involving the likes of Meltaguns, Flamers and Plasma. Once the surprise assault is launched the next phase begins. Involving armoured assaults Rhinos, Predators and Land Raiders will rush the enemy. Bolters will roar as Marines dive out of their transports to capture objectives and pin down the bulk of the enemy force, the armour will smash any fortifications and provide heavy fire support. The units involved in the surprise attack will begin to attack the enemy forces pinned by the armoured thrust and annihilate them without mercy.

Organisation
The Chapter is organised following the Codex Astartes with 10 Companies, there are however several notable differences. As the Chapter is still fairly young it does not use many Terminators; the First Company fight more in their power armour and the Terminator armour will only be used in dire circumstances to try swing the balance back towards the Chapter. The Ghost Dragons make extensive use of Thunderhawks so they have a dedicated demi-company of Specialist pilots. There are also only a handful of Dreadnoughts in use, a notable example is the first Dreadnought used by former Captain Alten of the 8th Assault Company who was mortally wounded slaying an Iron Warriors Warsmith. The Masters of the Chapter fear that there may be many more Brothers entombed in the Dreadnought shells as Tau incursions become ever more frequent and Tyranid splinter fleets roaming through the Eastern Fringe.
Several members of the Chapter have been inducted into the Deathwatch controlled by the Ordo Xenos, the first was Brother Carmine who killed a Carnifex in close combat using a Krak grenade he stuffed into its mouth (he did unfortunately lose the arm but has settled well with the bionic replacement). There are also whispers of an organisation known as the Legio but the Masters have not yet been approached.

Beliefs
The Ghost Dragons are humanitarian much like the Salamanders who trained them. Their belief in the manifest destiny of mankind leads them to see the citizens of the Imperium are its very lifeblood. They respect the Emperor but do not revere him as a God as many Chapters do as after all; the Emperor is a human. The Ghost Dragons show the most respect to Vulkan; it was from him that the geneseed was taken and they see him as a father figure. They see the Imperium as fractured. With too many organisations vying for power and for it to rise again; it must be united.
The Chapter despises most Xenos, especially the mindless. If any threat is made to Imperial space then the Chapter will respond in force; they are still eager to prove themselves after all. Sub-humans are also not looked kindly upon by the Ghost Dragons. Regarding Psykers the Chapter is a little more lenient, meaning if the Psykers is useful to them (such as a Librarian or Astropath) it will not be harmed. However, if there is a rogue psyker causing havoc or in risk of being possessed it will be destroyed.

Geneseed
The Ghost Dragons Chapter was created using the geneseed of the Salamanders; very pure samples were used to avoid mutation such as what happens to the Black Dragons chapter. The Marines do not seem to have developed the especially dark skin of the Salamanders, but this is likely because they do not recruit from the same world, the people of Noverion are more varied. All organs appear to be functional: the Marines can enter suspended animation, spit venom (this is not commonly used however), learn from eating dead creatures and the Ossmodula does not cause the bones to grow abnormally like the Black Dragons.

Battle-cry
At the start of a battle Chaplains will bellow "What we do in life!" which will be answered by all other marines shouting "Echoes in eternity!”
During battle Marines will be heard roaring their allegiance to Vulkan, the Emperor and the Imperium.









Ok guys, my first time having a go at something like this! C&C welcome, I will add the Chapter emblem to the marine pictured soon (if anyone knows how to do this properly I would be grateful).

[Race Bannon]

Not too bad for a first time out. Good luck with it's development. I'll attempt to suggest some improvement (keep in mind I am far from "awesome" in critique. I am not very proficient with English grammar but I can see comma splicing all over this article. It's a challenge NOT to write as you speak. Such is the evil of English.

 

Also, I'm going to focus my efforts in one area. The Beliefs.

 

The Ghost Dragons are humanitarian much like the Salamanders who trained them, they take it further by believing without the citizens the Imperium would not exist.

 

Comma splice. I'd add a few words in the second part to refine the idea. "Their belief in the Manifest Destiny of mankind leads them to see the citizens of the Imperium as the backbone of humanity." Or something.

 

They respect the Emperor and fight in his name but they do not openly worship him, this is likely because of the Librarians who were allowed to study with the Salamanders to learn what the Legion went through, but they did not tell the Salamanders in case they caused offense.

 

Comma Splice. 2 or 3 sentences here. And it's also a bit awkward to read.

 

The Ghost Dragons show the most respect and do pray to Vulkan for without him they would not exist, they believe he will return and reunite the Legion.

 

Another one. So ... is it the citizens of the Imperium or Vulkan that determines the Chapter's existence? Is that too picky of me? Also, do successor Chapters really believe in the reunification of the parent Legions? Do the parent Chapters teach that their Legion will be reunited again anyway? Isn't that a bit irreverent against the command of the Emperor?

 

The Chapter does not approve of the politics of the Imperium either, they condemn it for being fractured when it should be focused on living the Emperors dream, not squabbling over how much funds they should be receiving.

 

See a theme? Also awkward. Does the Chapter think the Administratum is out for wealth? Maybe I'm being too myopic ...

 

The Chapter despises most Xenos, especially the mindless. They are happy for races like the Tau to have their on Empire providing it does not take Imperial worlds to do so, they will brutally attack to defend the Imperium.

 

Ok, I get that. Ghost Dragons freaking hate aliens, so as long as they stay over there then it's ok. Attack to defend? That makes sense to me but could be reworded. "The Chapter will initiate an offensive campaign at the slightest threat to Imperial space." Or something.

 

Sub-humans are also not looked kindly upon by the Ghost Dragons. Psykers are also on their hitlist if they are not trained properly, they have no qualms with Librarians, Astropaths and other useful Psykers.

 

I had to reread this part a few times. It reads like you want to hate psykers, but you need them. The GD will hunt them down. Unless they are useful. :D

 

If an important campaign arises, such as the Damocles Gulf Crusade (which the chapter did not take part in as they were not battle ready) they will send assistance, for example there is a Company operating near the Eye of Terror assisting other Imperial forces holding back Abaddons latest Black Crusade. Several squads were also involved at Armageddon defending Imperial settlements from the Orks.

 

They were not there so don't mention it. When is a campaign that needs the Astartes NOT important? Putting your Chapter into offical GW fluff canon is a very tricky thing. It has been determined here that DIY Chapters CAN be at these important events but not be a pivotal or story-breaking presence. But if you (the player) participated in the real-world events (like I did) then it's cool to have your DIYC actually be a part of the fluff. Anyone who says differently is just jealous :D

 

Finally, if you can explain or answer any of my questions with a clarification, then consider that your answer might need to find it's way into the article. There are things you know that I don't. What may be obvious to you is not to me as I read this now. Do you see what I mean?

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I may have been a bit toooooo picky by focusing on this one section. But I think this section is most important for what "makes" a Chapter. Hopefully I have helped a little. :)

[Reyner]

Thanks for the response Race, i have made a few modifications. After re-reading I very much agree with you :D

[Wolfbiter]

@Reyner,

 

Hello, just read your article. Pretty good! Some thoughts and suggestions:

 

1) You tie a lot of themes together in ways I like. The chapter name is good and armor colors look simple and clean. I particularly liked how you tied in the Chapter's fighting style to their homeworld's major predator--patient, covert observation followed by sudden overwhelming force. Nice. :P

 

2) The chapter's beliefs and attitude aren't bad. Their fundamental belief in the importance and defense of Imperial systems? I like it, a nice contrast to some of the more 'emo' Chapters around the Imperium. Clashing with other chapters over civilian casualties? It follows, and balances out the Ghost Dragon's idealism nicely.

 

However, I'd suggest removing the bits about how they tolerate the Tau as long as the Tau stay in their own space, though. You've already established the Chapter's "good" qualities, it's not really needed. Also, the sidebar between the GD officer and the Tau envoy sounded a little too much like end of the fluff story from the 3rd Edition Tau codex. Perhaps modify the dialogue a bit.

 

3) Political stuff: The stuff about clashing with Imperial governing organizations can be cut unless you want to make enmity with the Inquisition part of your fluff. Space Marines get a lot more leeway than average citizens, but can still get into trouble for criticizing the Adeptus Terra. Remember, if you badmouth the Imperium, the Inquisition comes calling.

 

4) Grammar: Like Race said above, the whole article could stand a revision to clean up spelling, language and break up sentences. But I think your basic ideas are good and fit very well together. Clean up the writing and I think it will be a really good IA. ;)

 

Last thing: Love the battlecry. Nice job.

[Reyner]

@Reyner,

 

Hello, just read your article. Pretty good! Some thoughts and suggestions:

 

1) You tie a lot of themes together in ways I like. The chapter name is good and armor colors look simple and clean. I particularly liked how you tied in the Chapter's fighting style to their homeworld's major predator--patient, covert observation followed by sudden overwhelming force. Nice. :huh:

 

2) The chapter's beliefs and attitude aren't bad. Their fundamental belief in the importance and defense of Imperial systems? I like it, a nice contrast to some of the more 'emo' Chapters around the Imperium. Clashing with other chapters over civilian casualties? It follows, and balances out the Ghost Dragon's idealism nicely.

 

However, I'd suggest removing the bits about how they tolerate the Tau as long as the Tau stay in their own space, though. You've already established the Chapter's "good" qualities, it's not really needed. Also, the sidebar between the GD officer and the Tau envoy sounded a little too much like end of the fluff story from the 3rd Edition Tau codex. Perhaps modify the dialogue a bit.

 

3) Political stuff: The stuff about clashing with Imperial governing organizations can be cut unless you want to make enmity with the Inquisition part of your fluff. Space Marines get a lot more leeway than average citizens, but can still get into trouble for criticizing the Adeptus Terra. Remember, if you badmouth the Imperium, the Inquisition comes calling.

 

4) Grammar: Like Race said above, the whole article could stand a revision to clean up spelling, language and break up sentences. But I think your basic ideas are good and fit very well together. Clean up the writing and I think it will be a really good IA. :cry:

 

Last thing: Love the battlecry. Nice job.

Cheers for the input mate, I'll amend the IA in a couple of minutes before I go out :D

BTW anyone with knowledge of photoshop know how I could get the Chapter badge onto the marines shoulder?

[Hubernator]

Greetings :D Had a good read and I must say I like this. I did think of a brief contradiction though: humanitarians that take theme from an animal that spares no-one's life. But hey, sounds good all the same. Grammar could do with touching up a little, other than that I see no other problems, except one.

 

You say that in order for an initiate to get inducted into the Chapter, they must kill one of these Dragons. Are they in groups when they do this?? Or on their own?? And is the Dragon population affected badly by this??

 

 

As for the image, I can sort that out for you :P

 

EDIT: Done :P

 

http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg17/Hubernator/ghostdragons.png

[Reyner]

Greetings :D Had a good read and I must say I like this. I did think of a brief contradiction though: humanitarians that take theme from an animal that spares no-one's life. But hey, sounds good all the same. Grammar could do with touching up a little, other than that I see no other problems, except one.

 

You say that in order for an initiate to get inducted into the Chapter, they must kill one of these Dragons. Are they in groups when they do this?? Or on their own?? And is the Dragon population affected badly by this??

 

 

As for the image, I can sort that out for you :)

 

EDIT: Done ;)

 

http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg17/Hubernator/ghostdragons.png

They do it in groups, think I mentioned it somewhere. I haven't gone into too much detail of recruitment yet but I will when I think about it properly. Cheers for the badge by the way; I've got one without a background somewhere.

The contradiction applies to foul Xenos and heretics Hubernator :P

[Hubernator]

They do it in groups, think I mentioned it somewhere. I haven't gone into too much detail of recruitment yet but I will when I think about it properly. Cheers for the badge by the way; I've got one without a background somewhere.

The contradiction applies to foul Xenos and heretics Hubernator ;)

Fair enough. I'll have a read when it's done.

No probs on the badge :)

And that's why there's one :P

[Magnus Thane]

I liked the fluff. Any chance of adding a piccie of your force? :)

[Reyner]

Version 2 is on its way now :)