A Dreadnoughts Story.

[KEEPER]

Well the title gives you an idea of the main character. The story follows a Marine from his induction as an Initiate in a brand new Chapter, simply known as Chapter 1775. The first installment is obviously about his early days, before the chapter is finally given a name, and at it's forming, drawing from commanders from volunteers of other Astrates chapters. To form the experienced base.

 

My chapter is based around the Modern-day USMC(for obvious reason), so if the units and ranking seem strange forgive men, questions, feel free to ask. The story follows Brother-Gunnery Sergeant Wallence Carner. Through his journeys, hope you enjoy. And as always C&C welcome, but be kind. It's my first story after all.

Brother-Lcpl. Wallence Carner

 

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I first heard of the opportunity to join a new Chapter when I was on my way home from school. At 15 I saw myself as invincible, just like every other teenager. Joining the ranks of the might Astrates was a nature thing to dream of. I soon left the orphanage with several other boys my age from my home world, who’s name escapes me. I arrived in the Sol system where the initiates for the yet unnamed chapter we being gathered to begin training. We were known only as Chapter 1775. This is where the journey for us really started.

 

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I woke at what the recruits call zero-dark-thirty. The Battle Brothers of the training staff stepped on deck promptly at zero-dark-forty five. Clad in their camouflage utility uniforms, ready to begin the training for the day. Towering above us, Veteran-Sergeant Lionard laid out the final training cycle, “Listen Initiates you will be given two weeks to complete the task laid before you. If any of you can complete this task, you will forever be known as the Emperor’s finest. You will join the ranks of mighty Marines, that defend the Imperium from revenging, and carry out the will of the Emperor. Some of you may even make a name for yourself. Just remember one thing, no matter how successful you may become, you‘ll still be Initiates to me.” He finished with a smile, the first we had seen from him. It put us at ease. We were close.

 

I listened intently to his speech, in awe that we were so close to attaining what we’ve worked for nearly a Terra standard year. Not only would we be Space Marines, but what were told is called Plank Owner, a founding member of our Chapter.

 

Veteran-Sergeant Lionard let his last words sink in. “ Your objective is to assault a position in the <DELETED BY INQUISITION> mountains. The position is held by Penal Legion 0311. These men are the hardened killers, veterans of many campaigns across the whole of the Imperium. Criminals, show no mercy, these men will kill you to get the opportunity to beat and pillage. You will be given anything your Initiate-Sergeants deem necessary.” He stepped of deck to leave us with our task. That’s when our ages became apparent. Yes we were physically the same as Space Marines fighting the enemies of the Emperor, but you were still the same invincible teenager we were 2 years ago.

 

“Carner, we’re almost there! Smash some <DELETED BY THE INQUISITION> bag Guardsmen, and we’re Plank Owners, and Space Marines!” I gave a foolish shrug to my best friend Initiate Drake Umana. “ I think our squad will take our share of the scum. I’m calling a squad meeting, so gather the guys. I’ll see you in 5 minutes.”

 

As he left, I had to smile. He’d gone far from the punk tattooed gang member I remember at the beginning of our training. I found the rest of my squad near their racks. Packing their rucksacks. “ Randerfield, Hawkins, Kenly, Umana is calling a squad meeting in 5 mikes, be at his rack, ok?”

 

“We know how it works Carner, we hear you Brother.” chimed in Kenly. He was a stocky guy, even for a some one with the implants, but he had the crazed smile, and backward misguided humor that were made him the most popular of the recruits. Not even the Veterans assigned to train us could whip the smile of his face.

 

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Nine days later, our training company, the infamous Lima Company, had reached the our objective. I was looking through my binoculars when my radio beeped, giving me the reminder for the radio check I picked up the handset pressed the button down “Lima Actual, Lima 2-2 Radio check over.” The Initiate acting company commander responded back “Lima Charlie, stand by at phase line Romeo, step off in 10 mikes over.” I was nervous, it was time to finally finish our grueling final test “Roger, out.”

 

Of the original 2000 initial recruits, only 950 of us remained, some failing to pass the initial test, or falling due to mutations, other dieing trying to achieve the demands of the instructors. I worried about the friends that I had made over our time. I whispered a quick prayer for my brothers. Then I looked up, and signaled Umana, using hand and arm signals to relay what I was told over the radio.

 

Looking over the sights of my bolter, I saw my assigned target. He looked like a shopkeeperI had known from back home. A jolly looking person, light skinned with red hair. I couldn’t help but wonder what this man had done to end up in his current location. Suddenly a crackle in my ear, two quick hisses of static indicating it was time to start the engagement. I took on last glimpse of the familiar looking man, instantly feeling remorse. His chest explode with my smartly placed hammer pair. And he was gone.

 

The sentries eliminated, 2nd platoon of Lima Company, began to advance on it’s objective. The Penal Legions, armory, and main supply depot. My target had yet to hit the ground and I was on my feet running, covering the ground between myself and the perimeter of the compound as quickly as possible. I don’t remember much from the first stages of my first battle, but clearing the several hundred meters of open ground. Just the rattle of my equipment bouncing of my body, my heavy breathing, and the distant bolter fire, and the steady beat of my feet pounding the already bloody field.

 

My next distinguishable memory was about an hour after I took my first life. My squad was alive, and we had survived fighting to take the Armory, and the main warehouses. The days of drilling combat had paided off. We had set up a 360 degree perimeter just outside the bunker we had just cleared. When Umana flopped down next to me.

 

“Carner, how you doing?” Umana whisper hoarsely, his voice all but gone. I nodded, adding a quick grin. “Good, god damn this is tiring ain’t it? I just got word that we’ve taken all of our objectives across the grid. So all that’s left is to whip out any remaining resistance, and then we call the Sirs, and get a nice ride back to the barracks, and grab a shower and some hot chow.”

 

“Sounds good enough to me, what time is it anyway?” I rolled onto my side and took a drink from the canteen I had attached to my gear. “ It seems like it’s only been five minutes since this started, but I’m nearly out of ammo, and now I’m tired as all hell!” I said with a smirk, showing white teeth through the grim and dirt on my face.

 

 

Two days later, we were back in the barracks, clean, healthy, and extremely happy. Hell we only last 10 men from Lima, the lowest casualty number of the whole chapter. I was feeling cocky “Hell Kenly, we’re the best in the company. We’re the only ones to take the objective, and only lose 10 men, three of them are back anyway, bionics and all” As I finished that sentence, Initiate Farias flipped me off “Same to you buddy!”

 

“ATTENTION ON DECK!” Veteran-Sergeant Lionard called.

 

Smartly we moved to attention, in perfect unison. Standing in our brand new uniforms, not the normal utilities, but dress uniforms. Consisting of a Black coat, with red piping, a high stiff neck, and gold emblems on each side of our Adam’s Apple. A set of blue trousers, and glossy black shoes finished the uniform. With a white Cover(what is called a hat, or cap outside the chapter) with a larger version of the emblem from the coat.

 

Our new Captain stepped on deck, he was from the Imperial Fist, a hardened combat veteran. Transferred here to provided the experience that we would soon need.

 

“Good morning Marines!”

 

And so it began.

[KEEPER]

Any C&C would be appreciated.

[KEEPER]

Well here's another chapter. Not the best write in the world. But it's entertaining as hell. Any comments and tips would be appreciated.

 

 

Chapter 2 - Meeting the Chapter Master

 

 

“Brother-Lance Corporal Wallance Carner report to the ships armory. Your order is ready!” I couldn’t help it, the liquid that I had been drinking all but squirted out of my nose. Really I didn’t quite understand the Captains insistence on putting Kenly on the Vox PA system.

 

Strolling at a leisurely pace down the dark corridors of the Battle barge Desert Storm, I wondered what nameless idiot designed the damn thing. To this day I don’t quite understand why there only seems to be a light every fifty feet. I made a note to look into it at a later time. I started to whistle, after all who was around to hear me?

 

After about a half hour worth of wander, and check the not so obvious ’road signs’ I eventually stumbled into the armory. It was a brightly lit room, about the size of your average run of the mill Land Raider. The walls covered in weapons lockers of every kind. From Bolters to Las Cannons to rocket launchers, with crates of ammunition to go along with each respective weapon system. Oh and our beloved Tech-Marine staff…Just as I got over the astounding amount of fire power present, and the urge to immediately begin to blow something up, I turned in time to see the red power armour step over a pile of broken PA boots, gloves, and other seemingly important pieces of power armor.

 

“Carner I’ve got your new gear in,” Tech-Marine Tranci smirked as he stifled a laugh, “just remember to display it proudly!”

 

“Honestly…what are you talking about, I don’t need any gear, I’m good…”I stared in semi-amused state of shock at the new cod piece he took from the nearby workbench. “You got to be kidding me Marine…don’t you have more important things to be doing.” I was hit squarely in the chest with the piece of armor “I mean, you sculpted a circular target on a cod piece. Why?”

 

He looked at me, and shrugged “I figured it’s the last piece of fun I could fun before the Chapter Master is finally assigned. And then we get set into combat. Why not?” Flashed a smile that gave me the impression of mild retardation. I mean the gene-seeds and training can’t fix everything.

 

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“Chapter 1775, attention!” Captain Sun, the Master of Ceremonies. He face about, and waited for our new Leader, as the mysterious figure stepped in front of the Captain he saluted “ Good morning sir, Chapter 1775 all present an accounted for.” The salute was returned, and the Chapter Master had the floor.

 

“Good morning Marines, I am your Chapter Master Ewean Roberard.” He stood deathly still letting his initial words sink in. “We are Space Marines, we are the Emperor’s best, we are his holy messengers, bringing the glory of his words to those who need it. And defend those that are defenseless. From this day, until the end of time, we will be known as the Arch Angels. We will earn our place among those who came before us, making a name for the chapter with bolter and chainsword.”

 

“The Marines that stand before me today, you are the basis of what will become of the Imperium, you’re name will be echo’d for all eternity if you remain true to our values…Semper Fidelis! Always Faithful!”

 

With that he walked away. Several second’s later now Sergeant Umana yelled out “SEMPER FIDELIS SIR!” And we all followed yelling with pride and ferocity we had yet known, but one would serve us well.

[Lone Scout]

I'll be brutally honest my friend, as a story about spacemarines it is weak. If it were about an imperial guard regiment then that would be entirly different. The speach, ranks and recruitment are wrong. While I have no problems with a 15yo becoming a SM, what did he do to deserve such a privilage? If a new chaper was to start I don't think that they would have another SM transfered over to lend experiance to the chapter. Marines serve as scouts first more some years before their implants mature and they can be fitted with SM armour.

I'm not being nasty bro but for my six pence worth its all wrong. Turn it into a Imperial Guard regiment and you have a great story.

Kind Regards

Nick

[KEEPER]

No problem man, the ranks come from the history I'm trying to tie together. But thanks for your input none the less.

[Marshall Strat]

It's not a bad read so far. It still seems a bit rough though: the grammar needs editing in spots, a few typos, etc.

 

I like the imagery in the following two sentences, but I think they'd flow better like this:

 

Original

I don’t remember much from the first stages of my first battle, but clearing the several hundred meters of open ground. Just the rattle of my equipment bouncing of my body, my heavy breathing, and the distant bolter fire, and the steady beat of my feet pounding the already bloody field.

 

Modified

Clearing the several hundred meters of open ground in my first battle, I only remember feeling the rattling equipment bouncing off my body and hearing my heavy breathing, distant bolter fire, and the steady beat of my feet on the bloodied field.

 

What do you think?

[Wolf Lord Loki]

I'm enclined to agree that the feel of the story would suit a first founding of a Guard Regiment. Its not a bad story and i don't really have a problem with the different ranks but it doesn't seen to gel as a Marine story.

 

Marines are zealots. By the time they get their power armour they would be indoctrinated and leathal killing machines. Think monk with big ass gun. They would not lazily stroll through the ship to the armoury they would move with purpose to collect their holy bolter and power armour. Try looking at this for a guide to the processed involved in creating a Space Marine. To get where they are they would have endured hardships and pain. their out look on like and death reflect this.

 

 

For example - the Tech Priest, they would be marines trained by the mechanicus in engineering. They combine zealot and haterd of the Emperors enemies with a life long dedication to the Cult of the Machine. And as such they would treat weapons and armour like it was almost holy. Not slinging parts of armour across the room in jest.

 

Try reading the first space wolf novel. It covers an non codex initiation and ther e is a section on ragnar being fitted for his power armour.

[werewolf_nr]

Good, but the USMC ranks do break the Sci-Fi Space Marine feel of the story.

 

Also, from the other stories I have read, their armor is their dress uniforms; but the description would still work (actually, armor in those colors would be awesome).

[KEEPER]

Good, but the USMC ranks do break the Sci-Fi Space Marine feel of the story.

 

Also, from the other stories I have read, their armor is their dress uniforms; but the description would still work (actually, armor in those colors would be awesome).

 

 

Thanks for the tips, on the armor, I just recently started repainting my army in dress blue fashion.

[werewolf_nr]

Something I did real quick on the SM Painter. http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/smsbeta...00&pws=true