MaveriK Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Your late... :tu: post some of your thoughts! I wanted to change and lighten things up here at here at the Fang. I feel that, we the Son's of Russ pride ourselves with camaraderie; but as of recent I feel as though far to many of my kin have been concerned about the new rules in 5th edition and of rumors about our upcoming codex... or maybe its just all the whelps? LOL to be honest, its was becoming repetitive and a little annoying reading through the concerns, complaints and whining. All I can say is, be GRATEFUL for what we have now and what we will get in the future. Use this time we have now and take advantage of our armies situation! what we lose out, we eventually gain in other aspects. For RUSS!!! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bran Scalphunter Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Dude, you just missed the kegger... Dude, we got bought out by the Dark Angels... We gotta wear dresses now... they ain't that bad really ya know. Dude, we got Squatted... We're out of beer... This is an alcohol-free Segmentum now... By the way, you've been knocked down to Imperial Commander again... I should hide now just in case Russ shows up, since I just finished the last keg we had here. *hides under table* :tu: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689219 Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaveriK Posted September 11, 2008 Author Share Posted September 11, 2008 I think just calling our Primarch "dude" is one thing ahahahaha :tu: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689220 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bran Scalphunter Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 I think just calling our Primarch "dude" is one thing ahahahaha :) Nah Russ is cool like that, right Bjorn the Fell-Handed? *Bjorn steps out of shadow* Yeah dude, he's cool, now where's mah beer? :tu: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689225 Share on other sites More sharing options...
williamdelgray Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 You know, we have shots for that now Russ... Did you bath? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689235 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf89 Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Sorry Russ, but we no longer have insane amounts of power fists in a squad like we used to... but now we get this cool thing called a mini keg, it allows us to easily take our favorite ale on the go! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Russ, "What the heck is this crap? Piss water?!", Logan, "Sorry, some of us wolves have been trying to watch our weight, it's called Light Beer..." ^ I know this one's going to bite me in the butt ^ <_< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Russ, "What do you mean don't teleport?!" Logan, "Yea we don't teleport... something you wanted us to do right?" Russ <face palm> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Logan, "Hey umm... we kinda lost a ship to some pirates... but it's O.K., they were called astral claws" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Logan, "Yea umm... Your dad was hit by a semi and remains in a throne that's not fixable" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Logan, "Umm... Calgar (he's with the Ultramarines) is uh... better than me in almost every way possible and he costs the same amount of points" Russ, "What's a point?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sorry my stuff isn't funny, I guess this whelp is still somewhat disgruntled with the way things are. :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689242 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferinesian Wolf Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 ummm we kinda accidentally lost the spear of Russ.....to the Thousand sons........our bad. Pff we are no longer the space Wolves, we are now Space Puppies......It's ment to sound less threatening Powerfists? No now we have these *holds up rock* they were a gift from the Dark Angels Um we kinda drank the cellars dry Everyone you ever knew or loved is dead.... deal with it The Emperor isn't actually your father, your father was a.... for lack of a better word a whale Yeah um the inquisition has declared you a heretic for coming out of the eye of terror, thanks for killing us all The Thousand sons Primarch never left them. Thanks alot We've decided to be cool and turn to chaos too. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689267 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vash113 Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Whining, what whining? I've just been busy picking Abadon's gore out of the teeth of my Frost Blade, you know how hard it is to scrub that smell out? Damn chaos boys. Personally I think the whelps are just a little disgruntled, they haven't realised they just need to sit back with a beer and chill yet. Anyway some things Russ won't want to hear: "Yea we can't just push the on button, we gotta chant all these silly things, wave our hands and then push the button." "By the way, remember when you left... well we have some news about Bjeorn..." "Yo dude, homie, whats happenin?" "We'd like you to meet Chapter Master Azreal..." Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689270 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olmstedtr Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 hey check out this new secret weapon we got from some stranger... he called it a rub~bar boll.. or something watch you just throw it... LEMAN COME BACK! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689278 Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaveriK Posted September 11, 2008 Author Share Posted September 11, 2008 ummm we kinda accidentally lost the spear of Russ.....to the Thousand sons........our bad. Pff we are no longer the space Wolves, we are now Space Puppies......It's ment to sound less threatening Powerfists? No now we have these *holds up rock* they were a gift from the Dark Angels Um we kinda drank the cellars dry Everyone you ever knew or loved is dead.... deal with it The Emperor isn't actually your father, your father was a.... for lack of a better word a whale Yeah um the inquisition has declared you a heretic for coming out of the eye of terror, thanks for killing us all The Thousand sons Primarch never left them. Thanks alot We've decided to be cool and turn to chaos too. bahaha some of those are really good! :P i just thought of one... could you sign my belt of Russ? its the latest fashion trend with the Wolf Lords. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689290 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother SRM Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 "The Dark Eldar got a new codex, still no word on ours!" "Good news Russ! Our new codex is a .pdf!" "Bob Barker suggests mandatory spaying for all cats and dogs..." Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689319 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vash113 Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 "Oh yea by the way we're the close combat masters of the Space Marines but those codex thumpers have a higher weapon skill...." Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689331 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olmstedtr Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 wait we gotta make sure your the real deal.. initiate the wolf test... *sniffs leman's butt.* Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689332 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Nicolas Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 "Bob Barker suggests mandatory spaying for all cats and dogs..." ... there marines they already did that sorry to let you know.. you were knocked out during half of your "training".. puppie btw got to love these :D Yeah um the inquisition has declared you a heretic for coming out of the eye of terror, thanks for killing us all got to love this one.. so true poor Russ Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689343 Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlyInDeath Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 So we found your spear laying around, your armor in a pile in the eye of terror....that must have been one helluva party! By the way, we've had a lot of calls from a "Jane", she said she misses her puppy-wuffy-poo... Yeah, your dad isnt so hot on the whole "Allfather" thing anymore, but you can call him God instead... So did you hear? They decided to make Chaos space wolves! Russ? May I introduce Inquisitor Melthis of the Ordo Hereticus! I'll let you two get aquainted... Russ? May I introduce you to Lee Lightner! Just be slow to speak slowly and monosylabically... Oh...you're back...by the way, we've been using your room as a kennel for the Fenrisian Wolves for the past 10,000 years...I'm sure a little bleach will get that smell out.... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689349 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf Brother Kei Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 hey Russ, there won't be a new codex for us in 08... yo Russ, all other marines will have BS5 WS5 Venerable Dreadnoughts after the new codex...... Russ probably wouldn't be that pissed... since space wolves still rocks...... let me try a different approach... hey Russ, I am doing a pink guardsmen army... and they have 3 pink lemon russ Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689446 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lone Scout Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 You big girl where have you been hideing ! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689456 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Howland Greywolf Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Me: HAY! Russ what ya been up....holy emperor :D ;) I know you lost your armour but jeese, you could at least wear a robe. Russ: And be like those dark angel pansies Me: Yeah but....dude....I dont want to see that. Russ: Be a real man will ya. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689483 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonny Wolf Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Nice haircut 'Flock of Seagulls'! Where have you been? The 1980s?? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689538 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ullr Direfang Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 hey check out this new secret weapon we got from some stranger... he called it a rub~bar boll.. or something watch you just throw it... LEMAN COME BACK! ROFL "welcome back to like the Fang.... i know you have been gone for, like what, thousands of years, but this like whole wild survivor look, like has total got to go!.... o and we don't drink beer anymore, we have protein shakes." "o you have to try this, the dark angles gave it to us, it's and apple-tini" (just try to picture russ holding a martini glass) on a battle feild after Russ returned: Russ: "why did that cyclone missile launcher just fire two missiles?" Logan: "well the smurfs got all new upgraded weapons, we can't use all of they because we "have been blazing our own trail." Russ: "yeah, but we walk our selves also." couldn't think of any more, many of my thoughts are already here. UD Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689540 Share on other sites More sharing options...
crucial Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Russ - 'How are my precious legions of jump packed blood claws doing?' Logan - 'Nah, jump packs are forbidden n all... l-like you said remember?!?' Russ - :lol: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689567 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf89 Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Russ - 'How are my precious legions of jump packed blood claws doing?' Logan - 'Nah, jump packs are forbidden n all... l-like you said remember?!?' Russ - ;) We can still field BC's in jump packs, just that they cost the same as BC bikers and lets face it, BC bikers = better! It's the IC's in jump packs we can't have, but the joke still works. :lol: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689606 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferinesian Wolf Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 most of your brothers are dead or turned to chaos, family feud much? ME:Hey Russ welcome back RUSS:Thanks, glad to be back, where are all my weapons and cloths ME:Ooooo, sorry those are our holy relics you can't take them RUSS:What am i supposed to wear to battle? ME:Well actually you have to start as a blood Claw, again.......Hope you don't mind Actually your not the great wolf anymore. Oh, we wern't supposed to mate with the wolves, have fun telling peterson he's been with his wife for 120 years What do you mean Wulfen arn't good pets? no we don't have jetbikes anymore only the Eldar get them Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1689722 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bran Scalphunter Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Dude, we got bought out by Privateer Press, welcome to Khador apparently. Wait, you're Russ?! Then who's that guy sitting at your chair? Dude, awesome, what's yer name? :devil: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1690075 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leethal Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Russ: What this crap? Marine: Non-Alcoholic Beer Russ: WHAT?! Marine: We're a sober Chapter now. Russ: What's a Chapter? Marine: A thousand Marines. Russ:....Where's the other 9 thousand? Marine: Umm...nonexistant? Russ: GUILLIMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Russ: The Emperor is dying?! Marine: We have an Emperor? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Russ: Wait...let me understand this. Abbadon, a regular Chaos Marine is doing things that my Traitor Brothers can't? Like gather all the Chaos Marines into one coherent force? Marine: Umm...yeah pretty much. Russ: That's....disconcerting. Marine: Oh and we have a bug problem. And a new Xenos race is slowly taking over the Imperium. Mmm...our brother Marines can kick our ass in close combat, chug more beer, and screw longer and harder than us. Russ:......So this is what it feels like to be Guilliman... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Russ: TO WAR MY WOLVES! Marine: Okay, first we need to be blessed, and then we need to bless our armor and guns. And then we give our vechiles a nice hot oil bath. Then we have to massage our Dreadnought Sarcophagi. Oh and then we need to pray to the Emperor, and then, we send a message for help, and then we get in our ships, and repeat the whole thing again. Russ:....How long does this take? Marine: Umm...3 Weeks. Russ:....IS there drinking? Marine: No. We're a Sober Chapter now. Russ: ....Why did I come back... Marine: Because you're a good doggy? Russ: *facepalm* ~~~~~~~~~~` Russ: Where's Lion?! My brother! Marine: He lies in a coma in the Rock. Russ: Corvax? Marine: Lost. Russ: Guilliman? Marine: His throat was slit, and is sleeping. Russ: Dorn? Marine: Umm....lost? Russ: ................Ferrus? Marine: Umm, his hand is somewhere. Russ:...What the hell man? Marine: Would you like a non-alcoholic beverage? Russ: No, get out of my face. *sings* One is the loneliest numberrrrr* ~~~~~~~~~ Russ: To the harem! Marine: Oh we don't have those anymore Russ: Why? Marine: Bob Barker neutered us. Russ:.....Why? Marine: Something about an army of homeless puppies eating people on the side of the road. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/#findComment-1690185 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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