Skalver Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 "I don't care who you are, you can't run a tab in the alehouse" Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/page/3/#findComment-2078936 Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiltedMarine Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Well, doesn’t look like you missed too many meals in the Eye, did you? ************************ Okay, now before we agree to let you back into our lives, we want you to sit with us and our therapists; you left us with a lot of daddy issues, you know. ************************ Whelp: Wolf :cuss ! You’re not Russ! Russ is twelve feet tall, and shoots lightning out of his arse! Russ: (grumbling) All-Father! You do that once, ONCE, and nobody lets you forget it… ************************ Russ: So let me get this straight. You haven’t been teleporting for ten millennia? Ulrik the Slayer: Indeed not, Oh Mighty Wolf-Father. As you intended. Russ: And the Grey Hunters haven’t used jump packs in all that time, either? Ulrik: (chuckling) Of course not, Great King; only Blood Claws are foolish enough not to know to fight on solid ground- as you intended, again. Russ: (deceptively calm): And who told you about what I intended, pray tell, Wolf Priest? Ulrik: (in tones of deep respect and solemnity): The only one of us remaining who had fought alongside you, First Lord of Wolves- Bjorn Fell-Handed. Russ: Wait, you call him “Fell-Handed,” now? ::Bjorn begins trying to sneak away in the background:: Russ: (chuckling) When I left he was “Bjorn Lead-Footed!” Scared of flying, he was, and terrified of the teleporter! ::scowls suddenly:: Why that lying sack of… Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/page/3/#findComment-2078970 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firenze Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 'Hey we have new uniforms, they even come with a hood!' 'No, its not an ale house any more, Its a low fat smoothie cafe' Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/page/3/#findComment-2078979 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonas Stromclaw Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Russ: Why are there only a thousand wolves here? Logan: Umm... 'Cause we're a chapter now? Russ: What the :D :P is a chapter? Logan: Only a thousand marines. All the legions are like that now. Russ: Well, at least that means fewer of Guilliman's smurfs. ;) Logan: Oh, no. All the new chapters are made from Ultramarines, so there are more of them than when it was a legion. Russ: :cuss Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/page/3/#findComment-2078987 Share on other sites More sharing options...
The emperors chosen Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Marine:Your back, now where's the beer ========== Marine:Sir, we're outnumbered by Smurfs ========== Bjorn:Hmm, you seemed bigger ========== Marine:The lion didn't leave his Legion, thanks ========= who are you again? ============ Russ:where the :devil: is my legion marine:what's a legion? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/page/3/#findComment-2079033 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dewi Sant Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Young Blood Claw: Oi Welp, Yeah I'm talking to you new boy! Get to the bar and fetch me an ale!!! Russ: :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/page/3/#findComment-2079173 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toasterfree Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 "Who let the dogs out?" Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/page/3/#findComment-2079178 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Jester Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Russ bursts in through the doors of the fang: behold my great legion i have RETURNED!! ......silence greets him..... Russ: whom shall i speak to about the legion? .....whispering and then Logan is shoved forward by the other wolf lords.... Russ: And you are??? Logan: Logan Grimnar of the space wolve chapter. Russ: chapter(frowning) Logan: yes Russ: what iz chap...Ter? Logana: 1000 warriors Russ: what happen to Legion? Logan:well Gulli.. (interupts) Russ: i see, and we are the largest?? Logan: uhhhh Russ: Gulliman?? Logan: yeah (sad face) Russ: well im going out to get some ale be right back. ..turns and leaves.. Ragnar: hes not coming back is he? Logan:nope Ragnar: dam. loud booming sound and Bjorn busts on the scene Bjorn: HES BACK!!!! Ragnar and Logan share a look...uhhhhh. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/page/3/#findComment-2079306 Share on other sites More sharing options...
wookie2533 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 "OK Russ are you ready for your haircut and trim?" "Haircut!? Trim!?" "Yeah its now mandatory that all wolves stay clean cut and shaved" Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/page/3/#findComment-2079386 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellios Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Knowing the wolftime is close at hand all the wolves have returned to the fang to wait for russ... and decide to mess with his head. As russ walks through the front door to a big reception room all the space wolves bash their brest plates and say... "FOR THE WARMASTER" Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/145713-things-you-dontnever-say-to-leman-russ-when-he-returns/page/3/#findComment-2079399 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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