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How NOT to build a DIY Chapter (Collaborative IA)


GhostLegion

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Oh btw the whole teddy bear thing was said because I remember reading somewhere (might have been the how to DIY guide) how space marines aren't exactly nice, they aren't going to stop a battle to save a girls teddy bear. So I just thought that would be funny to add.
  • 2 weeks later...

If I may, I have to say I'd be more interested in this idea if I actually understood some of the jargon you guys are using.

 

Forgive my "ignorance", but what, exactly, is Garry Stu/Mary Sue supposed to actually mean?

 

Also, I'd love to contribute to something like this, but it looks like I'm joining in way too late.

There are no late joiners really, all ideas are welcome...but only so long as they serve to improve the chapter concept or write up. Most of the ideas we are working to break can either be found in the blog I have running (with special thanks to the old Black Library forums for the quoted section on problems with fiction writing), or by going counter to the DIY guide stickied on this forum.

 

With some luck, I should be able to tear into the draft again this weekend (I hate having midterms, finals, and term papers all in one go!!).

okay:

The Ultra-Templars are sons of Guilliman. Their gene-seed represents purity itself within the chapter, and indeed, there is no gene-seed purer. The Ultra-Templars apothecaries have shared between them their secrets, and have resisted the pull to ritualize gene-seed implantation. Their perfect skill, along with their determination to achieve superior purity, has led them to find the perfect balances and methods for implanting gene-seed. When the Ultra-Templars vanished into the warp on their jump to Terra, a taint was placed within their genetic codes. Upon being rejoined with Imperium however, the apothecaries soon spotted this flaw and set to work to correct it. Never again has any flaw plagued the organs of the Ultra-Templars, and it is even whispered by other successors of Guilliman that the purity of the Ultra-Templars gene-seed is superior to that of the Ultramarines themselves. Some even whisper that the blood that runs through the veins of the Ultra-Templars is more pure than that of Guilliman's. The apothecaries of the Ultra-Templars are humble however, and continue their work to keep the chapter pure.

 

just a mock up but you get the idea.

  • 2 weeks later...

Uggh we fell back again I always forget and it escapes once again.

 

I like the idea Asmodeus, Perhaps mention how the effect of such purity has brought somewhat disdain for less pure gene seed chapters? Although they would never actually refuse help or to help another chapter, they don't like them as much.

Just some brain storming, not sure if any of the ideas are fixed but an idea I had was maybe it is a chapter created by Fabius Bile useing both Emperors Children and World Eaters Gene Seed to infiltrate the Imperium under the disguise of a Cursed Founding Chapter.
Now I'm just popping in back here for a visit but reading your section on gene-seed I just thought you might wanna do something with the whole mixing gene-seed thing as that is a big no no for DIY Chapters. Of course so is using Space Wolf geneseed but you can't do that here. I like the way this has been turning out thought guys and keep in going.

Dunno how set in stone the history of the UT (I liked Ultra Rainbow Templars, you know) are yet, but I felt compelled to throw this one out there ...

 

When I was very small, I came up with this idea for the Death Spectres, a chapter, which I was attracted to at the time.

The idea was, they found an STC datacore on their homeworld. The kind that holds a load of info from the Dark Age of Technology and which the Admechs are searching for constantly. This was basically an excuse to give my marines the oppurtunity to be equipped with hugely overpowered weaponry of my own divising such as Ion Cannons, which were template STR 10 lascannons in dev squads, and also allow them to steal tanks and troop types from other imperial armies like a Leman Russ, cos I had one and wanted to field it.

 

As explanation for how they get away with this in the eyes of the Admech, I would suggest some totally unsatisfying hand waving comment, such as "they keep it secret", just to be as irritating and self-serving as possible ..

 

It needs development, but I'm sure you understand where I was going with it.

the whole mixing gene-seed thing as that is a big no no for DIY Chapters.

 

Thats the whole point of this.

 

We are trying to make them everything a normal DIY chapter not.

 

They are supposed to be what NOT to do with a chapter.

 

I just realized if we really need something to rekindle this thread perhaps we could come up with our own army list? Perhaps a very strange (cheesy)army list?

They need a full termie company in Landraiders/ LRcrusaders.

Far more thunderhawks than they would actually need.

No rhinos! All razorbacks!

And some extra Land Raiders.

Fortress monastery guarded by 2xWarlords and 2xWarhounds.

And they get plasma supplies directly from Ryza, leading to lots and lots of PG,PC

And how about a few vortex grenades? From their gargantuan cache of uber-tech.

 

Just some ideas for a cheese pizza.

I humbly present the Ultra templars 3rd company curently fighting of a whole waagh on there own

 

165 the good captin wizzywag :wub: ppistol and storm sheild and bike

225 7x bikes 2 flamers

225 same

220 same but only 1 flamer

1203atack bikes

120 same

355 3x whirlwinds w/ hunter killer

175 techmarine on bike w/servo hrness

50techmarine

905servitors 1 w/ heavy bolter

 

Like it?

  • 4 months later...
you've just given being free and creative boundries and rules..........can't say i agree ( i would rarther live in a fairy tale rarther than another standard chapter- with some weak twist)

 

You can do that, just don't expect other people to agree with your personal fantasy that does not fit the fluff at all. Gw gives you a lot to work with, but there is a boundry where a chapter crosses the line.

you've just given being free and creative boundries and rules..........can't say i agree ( i would rarther live in a fairy tale rarther than another standard chapter- with some weak twist)

 

You can do that, just don't expect other people to agree with your personal fantasy that does not fit the fluff at all. Gw gives you a lot to work with, but there is a boundry where a chapter crosses the line.

 

 

well how about if i pitched them as a renegade chapter - devout to the emperor but with certain "perks" - like say the soul drinkers - iknow my chapter was a total shock to you but thats what games need abit of randomness ( HAIL TZEENCH) - otherwsie they stay dull flat and boring - plus you never know i may end up having their chapter destroyed in my story but a few ones escape with gene seed and start a new simpler chapter up

you've just given being free and creative boundries and rules..........can't say i agree ( i would rarther live in a fairy tale rarther than another standard chapter- with some weak twist)

 

You can do that, just don't expect other people to agree with your personal fantasy that does not fit the fluff at all. Gw gives you a lot to work with, but there is a boundry where a chapter crosses the line.

 

 

well how about if i pitched them as a renegade chapter - devout to the emperor but with certain "perks" - like say the soul drinkers - iknow my chapter was a total shock to you but thats what games need abit of randomness ( HAIL TZEENCH) - otherwsie they stay dull flat and boring - plus you never know i may end up having their chapter destroyed in my story but a few ones escape with gene seed and start a new simpler chapter up

 

There is a diffrence with ''intresting'' and ''blatent Mary sue worse than the Ultramarines'' :P Also the whole ''loyal renagades'' thing is cliched and overdone.

you've just given being free and creative boundries and rules..........can't say i agree ( i would rarther live in a fairy tale rarther than another standard chapter- with some weak twist)

 

You can do that, just don't expect other people to agree with your personal fantasy that does not fit the fluff at all. Gw gives you a lot to work with, but there is a boundry where a chapter crosses the line.

 

 

well how about if i pitched them as a renegade chapter - devout to the emperor but with certain "perks" - like say the soul drinkers - iknow my chapter was a total shock to you but thats what games need abit of randomness ( HAIL TZEENCH) - otherwsie they stay dull flat and boring - plus you never know i may end up having their chapter destroyed in my story but a few ones escape with gene seed and start a new simpler chapter up

 

There is a diffrence with ''intresting'' and ''blatent Mary sue worse than the Ultramarines'' :P

 

riiiiiittttteeeeeee because we all want to part of the regular normality which just happens to be a bunch of super humans masacring abunch of other superhumans with powers that come from a hole in space whilst humankinds only hope is the form of a corpse attached to a golden thrown in a palace the size of a country.........................interesting aye

riiiiiittttteeeeeee because we all want to part of the regular normality which just happens to be a bunch of super humans masacring abunch of other superhumans with powers that come from a hole in space whilst humankinds only hope is the form of a corpse attached to a golden thrown in a palace the size of a country

I do.

riiiiiittttteeeeeee because we all want to part of the regular normality which just happens to be a bunch of super humans masacring abunch of other superhumans with powers that come from a hole in space whilst humankinds only hope is the form of a corpse attached to a golden thrown in a palace the size of a country.........................interesting aye

 

I do, your chapter smacks of ''better than you'' and of incredible weaponry and tactics that may seem entertaining to you but read as cilched and ham-fisted to the rest of us. Not to mention your chapter does not fit the mood of 40k veyr well. Your guys freely use xenos technology and foire on other space marines chapter to protect xenos. Even the most liberal space marines (Salamanders) despise xenos and go into battle with Litanies of Hate.

riiiiiittttteeeeeee because we all want to part of the regular normality which just happens to be a bunch of super humans masacring abunch of other superhumans with powers that come from a hole in space whilst humankinds only hope is the form of a corpse attached to a golden thrown in a palace the size of a country.........................interesting aye

 

I do, your chapter smacks of ''better than you'' and of incredible weaponry and tactics that may seem entertaining to you but read as cilched and ham-fisted to the rest of us. Not to mention your chapter does not fit the mood of 40k veyr well. Your guys freely use xenos technology and foire on other space marines chapter to protect xenos. Even the most liberal space marines (Salamanders) despise xenos and go into battle with Litanies of Hate.

 

 

ham fisted, mary sue, hate ultramarines ....... you by any chance a texan ? lol and cliched..........but never used. as i love 40k but they are using unpowerd cliches aswell- and id rarther have a nuke that a bottle rocket

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