IA: Skull Reavers

[Sigismund Himself]

&sri

Skull Reavers

History

The Skull Reavers were formed as part of the twenty-third founding. The White Scars were the source of the geneseed for this new chapter and Khan Chanua of the White Scars, renowned already for his ferocity and cunning on the field of battle, became the Great Khan of the fledgling chapter. By right of conquest, Chanua took the planet of Gorton as a homeworld and the chapter settled among the mountains, high above the savage tribes below. As with every chapter, the culture of the homeworld slowly permeated the chapter's traditions. Feats and competitions of strength became more and more common among the marines. From their homeworld, the chapter struck out with their newfound strength against any who defied the Emperor.

It was Master Apothecary Arigh who would change the fate of the chapter. Through decades of experimentation, he devised changes to the Reavers' geneseed that would make the marines stronger than any other Astartes. The Great Khan of the time was appropriately cautious, despite the thorough work done by Arigh. However, trial volunteers proved the geneseed as perfect, with over half of the successful recipients of the geneseed being accepted into the Blood Reavers within a century of their initiation into the chapter. No ill effects were seen across the marines’ lives and after further stringent trials, the manipulated geneseed was eased into wider implantation by order of the Great Khan of the time. Stocks of the old geneseed would be maintained, to be able to deceive the adepts of the Machine God while the chapter made use of the more powerful geneseed. Two thousand years passed and the chapter was not discovered. During this time, they gained a reputation for their strength and size, not to mention their skill in close combat. However, towards the end of the 41st millennium, isolated cases of rages and bezerker-like moments started occurring across the chapter. These symptoms continued to spread throughout the Brotherhoods of the chapter. Due to the investigations of Apothecary Chagan, the link between the modified geneseed and the rages was established. No cure was available for such a problem but some relief was granted by modifications to the chem-dispensor contained in the power armour. Within the chapter, frantic work was done by the Apothecarian to attempt to save the geneseed, their brothers and the future of the Skull Reavers.

The Nebrasian Butchery

The world of Nebras has been beset by the Orks for as long as the Imperium has laid claim to it. During a particularly fierce incursion, the Skull Reavers committed the Arslan Brotherhood to the fight. In a disastrous drop pod incident, the Khan and his command squad were killed as his drop pod plunged into a camouflaged Ork Gargant. The rest of the company landed safely and were enraged when the news of their Khan's death came through. It is said that day that 104 of the remaining 113 marines fell into a berserk state that would not abate. The raging marines tore through the Ork horde until they reached Imperial lines. The guardsman panicked at the sight of these beasts in power armour that had torn through the Orks ranks with apparent ease. In their terror, they opened fire. Several marine units charged the Imperial line and a number of guardsman died before the rest of the Astartes restrained their brethren and Imperial commanders ordered a withdrawal. Ignoring all attempts at opening communication, the marines left the planet, pausing only to recover what little was left of their Khan from the ruins of the Ork horde.

The Nebrasian Butchery prompted closer inspection of the chapter, including their geneseed and their tithing of the precious resource. The Apothecarion’s continued geneseed deception was soon discovered. The apothecaries' attempts at rescuing their chapter were in vain as all was laid bare before the scrutiny of the Inquisition and the Magos-Genitors of the Mechanicus. The Inquisition moved swiftly, determined to make an example of the chapter for its experimentation and the subsequent deception. The forces of the Inquisition and the Adeptus Mechanicus attacked the homeworld of the unprepared Skull Reavers. This sudden betrayal saw just below half the chapter’s marines die and the chapter’s Fortress Monastery of Gan Sube destroyed. The last marines alive were those of the Librarium as they cast their minds into the warp, seeking their brethren to warn them of the betrayal. As one junior acolyte managed to reach the Storm Master Vachir through the dangerous tides of the warp, Inquisitor Khra began his purge of the Librarium, destroying the last marines on the planet. However, the chapter serfs that remained alive detonated the plasma generators of the Fortress Monastery in a last gesture of loyalty to their masters, which claimed a significant part of the strikeforce. Others escaped the monastery before the explosion, returning to the tribes to rally them against the intruders.

The planet was declared Perdita and an Inquisitational Taskforce remained on site, both to process what little evidence remained and to ensure the chapter would not return. The taskforce has come under attack numerous times from the natives and despite attempts to remove this threat, they continue. The ultimate fate of Gorton lays in the hands of the Inquisition. The remaining marines managed to evade the Imperium’s net due to the psychic warning. Little is known about what has happened from their Excommunication or their reaction to it. Now, it appears that they are now lead by Storm Master Vachir. The last confirmed battle with them was in the Stront system, 996 M41, where approximately 200 marines overran a Knight World and several factory worlds with links to the Mechanicus. Reports included numerous mentions of marines in bezerker like rages, herded by marines even bigger then than them. Whether the chapter struck out of need or revenge is unknown. Several other combats may have involved the chapter but due to lack of survivors, no solid evidence has been found.

Homeworld

Gorton is a feral world on the edges of the northern borders of the Imperium. This desolate ice-covered planet had been overrun by the insectoid Zwis, with the disorganised human tribes fighting for their survival against the xenos filth. For over a century, the humans fought against the xenos, with every man and boy forced to take up arms. There was no foreseeable end to the conflict, save for the extinction of the primitive tribes. From the skies, the Skull Reavers fell upon the Zwis with fury and deadly steel. The reasons for their presence in the system are unknown and the legends of the chapter indicate they were somehow guided by the Emperor to the planet, which some place down as a warp jump gone wrong. Whatever the case, the marines undertook an extermination of the savage alien species. The local tribes were awed by the marines’ strength and ability in battle. In turn, the marines were impressed by how the tribes had held out against such overwhelming force. Such worthy recruits would not be wasted and the chapter laid claim to the planet through right of conquest.

Gorton’s surface is mostly covered by ice and rock. The only reason for life on this desolate planet is the hot springs and hidden caves. Around such areas, enough food and shelter for survival can be found. The tribes fight over such territory, for a tribe with no shelter or food is as good as dead. The planet contains very little native life, with lichen and moss being the only plant life native to the planet. Within the water, fish and squid can both be found, ranging from finger length minnows to Land Raider sized predatory squid. These animals represent the primary food source for the tribes and primitive ice rafts are used to go fishing across the seas. Enough food must be gathered for the winter season or the tribe must migrate with the weather, for without enough food stocked, the whole tribe would face extinction. A tribe must also guard itself during autumn, as other tribes come looking for shelter and land, running in the face of the coming winter. This season sees the most conflict. Every man, woman and child must fight to protect their caves from the invaders. Thus this time is often when the majority of new recruits are taken. If the chapter takes a boy from the tribe, that tribe is left with steel weaponry to assuage the loss of a fighting body. The tribes guard these treasures jealously as the majority of the weapons used on world are simply made from bone or, if the tribe is truly desperate, ice.

The chapter's new recruits are removed from their tribes by the recruiting officers and taken up into the mountains. The recruits are separated and then must prove themselves in a variety of tests. The culmination of these tests is when the recruit confonts one of his tribe's myths: the Zwis. Deep within the caves of the Fortress Monastery, the chapter maintains a queen Zwis in stasis, harvesting her eggs once a new recruit begins his ordeals. The recruit must then face a juvenile Zwis in the darkness of a cave, where every shadow could hide the predatory xenos. Once the recruit defeats the alien, the torturous process of implantation and psycho-indoctrination start. When this process is complete, he will be assigned to a brotherhood, until the Khan of that brotherhood deems him ready to don power armour.

The chapter established the Fortress Monastery of Gan Sube within the highest mountains of the planet, among the blackened ruins of the caves that the Zwis had lived in. The length and depth of the caves were not unknown to the marines, who had had to force the Zwis out of them during the last days of the war. They were soon converted to the chapter’s requirements once the taint of xenos was cleansed. The extent of the Fortress Monastery surprised many of the Inquisitorial Strikeforce during their purge of the chapter, with many remarks comparing it to the warrens of the Hrud but on an Astartes scale. Many of the chapter's more reclusive areas were not found before the detonation, including the Apothecarion, thus increasing the magnitude of the task faced by the current Inquisitional Taskforce's investigation.

Geneseed

For decades, Master Apothecary Arigh experimented with how to produce a stronger marine, how to advance the geneseed of the chapter. Using the convicted criminals of the tribes, he implanted the necessary organs to test his experiments. What specific modifications were made is unknown and the Adeptus Mechanicus refuse to divulge any information, whether out of ignorance or obstinacy. Some rumours suggest that the geneseed may have been made to include strains of Ork DNA, pointing to the growth of the marine over the centuries and their increased strength as proof. If this was the case, this could explain the rages that engulfed the marines. Others dismiss this as irrational, as the Ork and Human genomes are not compatible at all.

The changes wrought by Arigh upon the original White Scar geneseed seemed to have affected mainly the biscopea and the ossmodula. Inquisitional reports state that the ossmodula appears to grow the body’s skeleton throughout the marine's life, though at a much slower rate than during the initial organ implantation. The biscopea is also suspected to constantly be in a hyperactive state, aiding muscle mass retention and expansion. These changes made the marines of the Skull Reavers even more adept in close combat as their strength and size increases with their age. The oldest recorded marine of the chapter, Khan Cheren, was approximately 10 feet tall when he fell in a rearguard action against the Orks of Kajit.

However, this tampering would eventually cost the chapter. As millennia passed, the quality of the geneseed began denigrating. As the purity of the organs decreased over time, chemical imbalances within the marine began to occur. The most common manifestation of this imbalance was an uncontrollable rage. Within this rage, the marine’s intelligence is lowered significantly while his pain receptors are all but deactivated. While under the rage, the marine will charge towards the nearest enemy, shrugging off any enemy fire and then start to destroy them by any means possible, even ripping and tearing with teeth and bare hands if there are no other weapons available.

Combat Doctrine and Organisation

The chapter retains the Brotherhood structure of their primogenitors, only with the first Brotherhood being the home of the Great Khan’s household and those who have proved themselves in the fire of battle against mighty foes. All Captains have been or are members of the Bloodreavers, as the first Brotherhood is known as. The Great Khan controls the number of Brotherhoods under his command as he may choose to create or split Brotherhoods at his discretion. Although the Chapter normally has approximately 1100 marines at any given time, there have been occasions when up to sixteen brotherhoods in existence and as little as six.

The original White Scars doctrine brought to the new chapter by Chanua over the years has been diluted. The chapter still focuses on mobility but often an Astartes foot slogging is all the mobility that a brotherhood needs. The majority of the brotherhoods still retain their mounted ability, either in the form of tanks or bikes. One Khan may focus on mechanized assault while another may specialize in lightning assault behind enemy lines using bikes and landspeeders. For a Brotherhood, there is no set structure of units. Some Khans may prefer to have scouts in their force while others will not accept them until they are full brothers of the chapter. There is no one scout Brotherhood and the recruits are spread to whichever Brotherhood that will take them.

The Bloodreavers do not normally contain the older marines of the chapter. These marines have often served in the Bloodreavers but then leave it, to give the opportunity to younger and more eager young ones. Often, such marines leave in groups and form a squad in another brotherhood. Here they often take up supporting roles, leaving the younger marines to glorify in close combat. These older marines have no reason to prove themselves any more, having reached the pinnacle of their career. Terminator armour is used predominantly by the older marines of the chapter rather than the Bloodreavers. Dreadnoughts are a rarer sight but the concept of being entombed is not one that is repulsive to many within the chapter as it is seen as an opportunity to augment a marine's strength and carry on his service to the chapter. They often serve in those brotherhoods who have adopted purely drop pod tactics so as not to slow their brethren down.

Beliefs

The Sundering Blade

This massive blade was the personal weapon of Chanua. It was discovered broken underneath his body on the desert sands of Larb Secundus after his slaying of the Bloodthirster Korgath. Master of the Forge, Gai-Gan took the broken blade and reforged it in the fires of the forge before tempering it in the ice of Gorton. Since then, this magnificent blade has been wielded by the Skull Champion of the Bloodreavers, in remembrance of their founding father.

Every marine strives to be the strongest in the chapter. Individual feats of skill and strength in battle are sought by all in the chapter, save the veterans. The Bloodreavers are the ultimate goal for every marine and within the Bloodreavers, the title of Skull Champion is the ultimate reward. The Skull Champion is the champion of the Great Khan and will seek out the fiercest and strongest enemies to slay. He carries the Great Khan's honour and will among the Bloodreavers, and is equivalent to the First Company Captain in other chapters, though the Great Khan remains the head of the Bloodreavers. It is him, the Ancient and the Great Khan who consider entries to the Bloodreavers.

The Emperor and Jaghatai are seen as the strongest and most skilled of all humanity alive. The chapter still believes that Jaghatai still lives, testing his strength against the Dark Eldar by raiding the Dark Eldar in their own capital. He does not need help or he would have approached the White Scars or themselves for reinforcement. But their legends say that a day will come when Jaghatai will not face just the Dark Kin of the capricious Eldar and then he will summon his sons to join him. The chapter awaits this call and train as if that day will be tomorrow. If Jaghatai returns, the chapter will present him with the Sundering Blade and present themselves for his command. For they know his return will herald the coming of the End of Days, when the Emperor will rise and gods will walk the galaxy, awaiting a suitable challenger.

It is unknown how these beliefs have changed with their fall. Some investigators, who have discerned some facets of their beliefs, have put forward various theories. The leading theory is that the chapter simply sees their fall as a test of their strength, of their ability to survive in a totally hostile environment with little supply, just as Jaghatai is no doubt experiencing. Others have warned that the chapter may now believe that Jaghatai will only return once the human race is in need of him. Seeing this, the chapter will no doubt strike to weaken the Imperium, with perhaps some degree of vengeance in their minds. No doubt that in the near future, the chapter will reveal its true intentions.

Warcry and Heraldry

The Skull Reavers' chapter symbol is that of a a skull, riven by a sword vertically. This symbol is used by all the marines, with little variations upon it. Some may actually have a real skull (from a suitably large and strong enough foe) and sword incorporated into their shoulder pad. This practice is mostly carried out by the Bloodreavers, whose other distinguishing mark is their black helmets. Each brotherhood will have individual markings that are decided by their current Khan. Some brotherhoods, such as the Arslan, have had a set symbol and markings from their inception, often to honour the founder and greatest hero of their particular brotherhood.

The chapter's warcry consists simply of a roared cry of “Your death is upon you!” as they hit the enemy lines. Once again, the various brotherhoods may have variations upon this cry, or indeed, individual squads may take up their own warcries in combat.

[Sigismund Himself]

Never did get any feedback for this IA, any would be welcome.

[Codex Grey]

The last confirmed battle with them was in the Stront system, 996 M41, where approximately 200 marines overran a Knight World and several factory worlds with links to the Mechanicus. Whether this attack was made out of revenge or necessity. Reports included numerous mentions of marines in bezerker like rages, herded by marines even bigger then than them. Whether the chapter struck out of need or revenge is unknown. Several other combats may have involved the chapter but due to lack of survivors, no solid evidence has been found.

Choose one ;)

 

Aside from that, I really like this Chapter. Seems like they are geared towards the use of the BT codex, correct? That's cool, since it fits with their orky nature and it's done in a good way so it doesn't seem like something that was just tacked on. I like the idea of a Skull Champion, but were they to be fully compatible with the BT Codex, shouldn't there be a Champion for each brotherhood?

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

I gotta say I like it.

 

I love the White Scars and their descendants so this was immediately of interest.

 

Their fall from loyal to heretic is a good read and is overall done well.

 

My only problem is the entire fact of the Apothacary meddling with the geneseed. I'm not in any way saying it couldnt be done or wouldn't be, but I would rather have a good personal reason for his messing around with the geneseed. Its just that it seems he simply wakes up one day and decides to start improving on what is already for the most part considered perfect.

 

Other than that, its good.

 

:P Siggy.

[Sigismund Himself]

Aside from that, I really like this Chapter. Seems like they are geared towards the use of the BT codex, correct? That's cool, since it fits with their orky nature and it's done in a good way so it doesn't seem like something that was just tacked on. I like the idea of a Skull Champion, but were they to be fully compatible with the BT Codex, shouldn't there be a Champion for each brotherhood?

To be honest, I didn't have any codeii in mind during writing this. You could use the BT, SW or BA to represent the bezerker-like marines. Lots of variety and choice, anyhow.

 

My only problem is the entire fact of the Apothacary meddling with the geneseed. I'm not in any way saying it couldnt be done or wouldn't be, but I would rather have a good personal reason for his messing around with the geneseed. Its just that it seems he simply wakes up one day and decides to start improving on what is already for the most part considered perfect.

Indeed, I'll expand upon that a bit. I didn't want to go into too much detail but it seems I didn't go into enough.

 

Thanks for the feedback so far guys. I think some of the writing (especially the intro) is a little bland and really does need redoing. Unfortunately, RL is pretty hectic right now and I'm already behind on one or two other personal projects...

[Ryjak]

I don't have time to read your whole article right now, but I wanted to say that has got to be the coolest "split" color scheme I've ever seen.

[Aurelius Rex]

I missed this first time round, but happy to give some feedback on it now.

 

Launching straight in, I'm not keen on the name - please forgive the quote from my response to Gil Galad's Night Scorpions IA last week:

 

I am personally not a fan of the name on the basis that it takes two elements from other, more famous chapters… It makes me think of an unholy smooshing together of the Night Lords and the Red Scorpions rather than something original. I have the same problem with the Blood Ravens (Blood Angels and Raven Guard). Taking one characteristic name can work, (Blood Drinkers, Angels Sanguine, Angels of Absolution, Iron Champions etc) especially if it is partly a link to the progenitor chapter, but having both words do it makes me uneasy.

The same applies to the Astral Corsairs, which makes me think of the Astral Claws and the Red Corsairs, which considering the first changed their name to the second is all the more jarring.

 

 

I would also agree with GHY's comments on the geneseed. It seemed strange that only two foundings after the catastrophe of the Cursed founding they would even consider diddling with their genetic legacy and the heritage that passes back to Jaghatai Khan. You have said that it needs expanding and intend to explain why they did it, so I guess this will be cleared up in the next version. :)

 

 

I was wondering when exactly the investigation / rebellion occurred, and how long they have been on the run / rampage. If it was a recent event (decades) then it would be very different to if it has been a thousand years.

 

 

I got the feeling that the chapter was intended to have a 'Hulk' vibe - sad to say that I missed the Liber comps that this was entered into, but I vaguely remember there being a superhero chapter concept. As well as being strong, they are very large. Does this cause problems with them finding armour to fit and do they have trouble squeezing into their rhino transports? :lol: I ask because there was a particularly large Ultramarine in the Ventris books who if I remember rightly was so big he had to use terminator armour parts because power armour wouldn't fit, and it made me think of the potential troubles for the chapter, especially if they are renegades with less access to the usual routes of manufacture.

 

 

I did find the odd typo (Inquisitorial rather than Inquisitational) and a number of word replications - in the first paragraph, for instance, there were multiple uses of 'drew', 'chapter' and 'marines' in close proximity, and in the Nebrasian Butchery sidebar 'that day' is used twice (in error) in the first half of the sentence. The overall flow of the text could do with a polish too, as some of the sentences are very short and occasionally don't seem to gel with what comes in the next sentence. I always find that reading the text aloud can help to clarify if it is flowing properly, as well as if a sentence is too short, or more likely in my case, too long. :D

 

 

Despite all the gripes, I like the chapter and think it has potential. Considering the multiple, seemingly endless redrafts I made on the recent Alternate IA:Raven Guard, I can't throw too many stones about words being in the wrong place, but after going through that I am happy to point them out so that they can be sorted out and the article improved for the next iteration. :tu:

[Sigismund Himself]

The same applies to the Astral Corsairs, which makes me think of the Astral Claws and the Red Corsairs, which considering the first changed their name to the second is all the more jarring.

It is true to an extent, but eventually you won't have any more names left for DIY chapters to go by ;) Still, I'll see if I can find a suitable replacement for Astral.

 

I was wondering when exactly the investigation / rebellion occurred, and how long they have been on the run / rampage. If it was a recent event (decades) then it would be very different to if it has been a thousand years.

I'll clarify it with the next revision. It's meant to be fairly recent.

 

I got the feeling that the chapter was intended to have a 'Hulk' vibe - sad to say that I missed the Liber comps that this was entered into, but I vaguely remember there being a superhero chapter concept.

Well caught.

 

As well as being strong, they are very large. Does this cause problems with them finding armour to fit and do they have trouble squeezing into their rhino transports? I ask because there was a particularly large Ultramarine in the Ventris books who if I remember rightly was so big he had to use terminator armour parts because power armour wouldn't fit, and it made me think of the potential troubles for the chapter, especially if they are renegades with less access to the usual routes of manufacture.

Interesting questions. I would say that because the marines tend to gather together out of familiarity, the veterans (the older and bigger marines) would be together in squads. As there is less of them, they would still fit in a rhino. Or if there were a significant number of them, they would get a Land Raider. The modification of armour idea is interesting as well. I guess that the chapter's artificers would have adapted the designs over the years to accommodate the growth. A very good question.

 

I did find the odd typo (Inquisitorial rather than Inquisitational) and a number of word replications - in the first paragraph, for instance, there were multiple uses of 'drew', 'chapter' and 'marines' in close proximity, and in the Nebrasian Butchery sidebar 'that day' is used twice (in error) in the first half of the sentence. The overall flow of the text could do with a polish too, as some of the sentences are very short and occasionally don't seem to gel with what comes in the next sentence. I always find that reading the text aloud can help to clarify if it is flowing properly, as well as if a sentence is too short, or more likely in my case, too long.

This was written in about 5 days and I guess it shows that, especially as I haven't touched it since then :)

 

As you know, I'm currently focusing on other things, so it may be a while until I get round to a revision of the Corsairs.

[Sigismund Himself]

So I think I've sacrificed enough souls to the Fluff Gods to be able to cast Necropost V5.0...

 

Yep, so it seems :sick:

 

So now is your chance to get back at me for all that heartless ripping throughs I've done of your favourite DIY ;) These guys are still WIP as I need to find a new name for my first brotherhood after I stole Reavers for the chapter name change... But apart from that, it's mostly good.

[Ace Debonair]

So I think I've sacrificed enough souls to the Fluff Gods to be able to cast Necropost V5.0...

 

Yep, so it seems :D

 

So that's what happens to all those people who post three or four times and then vanish. :D

 

So now is your chance to get back at me for all that heartless ripping throughs I've done of your favourite DIY ;) These guys are still WIP as I need to find a new name for my first brotherhood after I stole Reavers for the chapter name change... But apart from that, it's mostly good.

 

How about Bloodrippers for the first brotherhood?

 

I'm sort of curious about why the apothecary decided to play with the geneseed, I must admit. I don't think it needs changing though, as it leaves the "was he corrupt from the beginning?" question open, and while you don't often get evil apothecaries in DIYs, it's probably better to leave the question there instead of stating flat-out. ^_^

 

I'm a bit puzzled that the Homeworld section seems to talk about Gorton as if the Skull Reavers still recruit from there, but the origins say the inquisition basically owns the planet now. It left me rather confused on the first read-through, I must admit. :)

 

But apart from that, that's a heck of a read right there! :P

[RagingGriffon]

I like it... kind of. At first I was like, "tampering with geneseed?! Stronger?! Arghhhhh!" Then I saw that they started getting bezerker crazy. Then I was like, "I see what you did thar!" Then you went with their Psykers giving a distress call and all that, and I liked how that played out. Then they came back and had revenge. "Awesome, more Traitors," I thought. Then you went back to the homeworld that was just attacked and reclaimed, and so then was thrown for a loop. I had to scroll back to make sure I didn't miss something. Then you mentioned Bloodreavers in the "Organization" section and I was kind of lost.

 

It then still feels like you are clutching to their Loyalist background with just an afterthought of them being Traitors. I think it should be the other way around. I am assuming these guys follow Khorne (welcome to the fold!) becuase you mention Skull Champion. If not, then you need to be more clear.

 

I hope this helps!

[Sigismund Himself]

So now is your chance to get back at me for all that heartless ripping throughs I've done of your favourite DIY ;) These guys are still WIP as I need to find a new name for my first brotherhood after I stole Reavers for the chapter name change... But apart from that, it's mostly good.

 

How about Bloodrippers for the first brotherhood?

It's hard to come up with something that isn't too cheesy or already taken by a Khornate unit unfortunately. I may abandon the 'blood' as well and just try to think of something else.

 

I'm sort of curious about why the apothecary decided to play with the geneseed, I must admit. I don't think it needs changing though, as it leaves the "was he corrupt from the beginning?" question open, and while you don't often get evil apothecaries in DIYs, it's probably better to leave the question there instead of stating flat-out. :tu:

Hrmm, I'm trying to make the chapter simply fall because of its obsession with strength with no chaos involved. Perhaps I need a sidebar to show Arigh's motivation was purely to enhance the chapter (and also a chance to show more of a mad scientist vibe to the Apothecarion :P ).

 

I'm a bit puzzled that the Homeworld section seems to talk about Gorton as if the Skull Reavers still recruit from there, but the origins say the inquisition basically owns the planet now. It left me rather confused on the first read-through, I must admit. :jaw:

I thought there may have been some problems with the tense. Marked for the next revision.

 

But apart from that, that's a heck of a read right there! :P

Cheers Ace :)

 

I like it... kind of. At first I was like, "tampering with geneseed?! Stronger?! Arghhhhh!" Then I saw that they started getting bezerker crazy. Then I was like, "I see what you did thar!" Then you went with their Psykers giving a distress call and all that, and I liked how that played out. Then they came back and had revenge. "Awesome, more Traitors," I thought. Then you went back to the homeworld that was just attacked and reclaimed, and so then was thrown for a loop. I had to scroll back to make sure I didn't miss something. Then you mentioned Bloodreavers in the "Organization" section and I was kind of lost.

 

It then still feels like you are clutching to their Loyalist background with just an afterthought of them being Traitors. I think it should be the other way around. I am assuming these guys follow Khorne (welcome to the fold!) becuase you mention Skull Champion. If not, then you need to be more clear.

 

I hope this helps!

Well, it looks like I need to work on the flow a little. I've made this focus mostly on the Skull Reavers as loyalists and tried to leave their fate unknown. The chapter may have fallen to Chaos or it may still be surviving on its own. The Bloodreavers is the First Brotherhood, as mentioned in the opening paragraph so it's still a little confusing until I manage to find a better name for the First Brotherhood.

 

Thanks for the feedback guys.

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

I don't have time to read your whole article right now, but I wanted to say that has got to be the coolest "split" color scheme I've ever seen.

That's because it's black and red.

 

The fall from grace seemed kinda... I don't know, inconvenient? It's like things were going great, then they became Blood Angels, news got out, Inquisitor shows up, everybody but a few survivors die. Eh.

[Sigismund Himself]

I don't have time to read your whole article right now, but I wanted to say that has got to be the coolest "split" color scheme I've ever seen.

That's because it's black and red.

Grey and red actually.

 

The fall from grace seemed kinda... I don't know, inconvenient? It's like things were going great, then they became Blood Angels, news got out, Inquisitor shows up, everybody but a few survivors die. Eh.

Inconvenient? Perhaps tragic or deserved would fit better? <_< Differentiating the bezerker like moments from the Black Rage is something I've tried to do but it's obviously not getting across. Into the notes for the next revision.

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

Gray is easily as awesome as black, if not more so.

 

I didn't mean that they became Blood Angels, but they did became frothing mad berzerkers, a lot like BA. Considering both chapters cause of their frothing mad berzerkers is in the geneseed? And they're CC orientated?

 

Don't get me wrong, they have their differences, but they also have those similarities as well. Just thought that might halp you out, as you don't want to get too close to any of the first two founding's chapters. You probably know this better than I do.

[Octavulg]

The Skull Reavers were formed as part of the twenty-third founding. The White Scars were the source of the geneseed for this new chapter and Khan Chanua of the White Scars, renowned already for his ferocity and cunning on the field of battle, became the Great Khan of the fledgling chapter. By right of conquest, Chanua took the planet of Gorton as a homeworld and the chapter settled among the mountains, high above the savage tribes below. As with every chapter, the culture of the homeworld slowly permeated the chapter's traditions. Feats and competitions of strength became more and more common among the marines. From their homeworld, the chapter struck out with their newfound strength against any who defied the Emperor.

 

If you can fit the words 'strength' and 'chapter' in here one more time each, I'll give you a nickel.

 

Word overuse, Sig. :)

 

It was Master Apothecary Arigh who would change the fate of the chapter. Through decades of experimentation, he devised changes to the Reavers' geneseed that would make the marines stronger than any other Astartes. The Great Khan of the time was appropriately cautious, despite the thorough work done by Arigh. However, trial volunteers proved the geneseed as perfect, with over half of the successful recipients of the geneseed being accepted into the Blood Reavers within a century of their initiation into the chapter. No ill effects were seen across the marines’ lives and after further stringent trials, the manipulated geneseed was eased into wider implantation by order of the Great Khan of the time. Stocks of the old geneseed would be maintained, to be able to deceive the adepts of the Machine God while the chapter made use of the more powerful geneseed. Two thousand years passed and the chapter was not discovered. During this time, they gained a reputation for their strength and size, not to mention their skill in close combat. However, towards the end of the 41st millennium, isolated cases of rages and bezerker-like moments started occurring across the chapter. These symptoms continued to spread throughout the Brotherhoods of the chapter. Due to the investigations of Apothecary Chagan, the link between the modified geneseed and the rages was established. No cure was available for such a problem but some relief was granted by modifications to the chem-dispensor contained in the power armour. Within the chapter, frantic work was done by the Apothecarian to attempt to save the geneseed, their brothers and the future of the Skull Reavers.

 

Within a century? The Black Carapace is implanted before they're even in their twenties, IIRC.

 

Honestly, this isn't very interesting. There are experiments, they go bad, shock, horror, amazement. It's a commonly used thread in 40K, and you haven't done very much to bring out the unique aspects of it, or to dress up the similar aspects so they're more interesting.

 

Why did the experiments begin? How, exactly, was the geneseed changed? How could they maintain the likely massive amounts needed to placate the Adepts of Mars - they would eventually run out. And if they didn't run out, why didn't they just switch back when problems arose?

 

Furthermore - 40K is full of berserkers. Overly full, if you ask me. What is unique and interesting about these berserkers that makes them worth exploring?

 

The Nebrasian Butchery

The world of Nebras has been beset by the Orks for as long as the Imperium has laid claim to it. During a particularly fierce incursion, the Skull Reavers committed the Arslan Brotherhood to the fight. In a disastrous drop pod incident, the Khan and his command squad were killed as his drop pod plunged into a camouflaged Ork Gargant. The rest of the company landed safely and were enraged when the news of their Khan's death came through. It is said that day that 104 of the remaining 113 marines fell into a berserk state that would not abate. The raging marines tore through the Ork horde until they reached Imperial lines. The guardsman panicked at the sight of these beasts in power armour that had torn through the Orks ranks with apparent ease. In their terror, they opened fire. Several marine units charged the Imperial line and a number of guardsman died before the rest of the Astartes restrained their brethren and Imperial commanders ordered a withdrawal. Ignoring all attempts at opening communication, the marines left the planet, pausing only to recover what little was left of their Khan from the ruins of the Ork horde.

 

This is a sidebar, but its information is referenced in the body of the text. Thus, it should not be a sidebar.

 

I do like the loyalty of the serfs and their actions in the next few paragraphs.

 

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What's the Chapter all about, man? There's some berserkers...and that's pretty much it. What's the point? Being berserkers is not sufficiently interesting to justify an IA - there must be more. So what is that more?