IA: Exonerators

[Apothete]

Version I-Can't-Believe-I'm-Still-Writing-This, AKA 0.8...

 

New in this version:

• Colors have been simplified but remain thematically similar.
  
• Total rewrite! Wherever possible, I have sat down and done a side-by-side rewrite of every passage in order to improve flow, tie up loose ends, move elements to headings that they belong under, and expunge outdated information or phrasing that lingered from the earlier drafts.
  
• More words. Lots of them. It's not much longer than a Games Workshop IA, but I've decided to get everything settled before I try to trim it down again.
  
• Re-introduced an account of the renamed crucial and highly formative battle.
  
• Included more concrate links to the Iron Hands, added more differentiating touches.
  
• Added several quotes from important Chapter figures.
  
• Hid a few easter eggs for Octavulg.
  
• Removed all Battle Barges and explained why.
  
• Re-introduced the vision of Chaplain Horatius Venn, explaining their heraldry and naming in a clearer manner.
  
• Added to Kolrad and the surrounding space.
  
• Trimmed and toned down the Lightbearers, removed them as the First Company.
  
• Re-introduced the original battle cry.
  

 

Still remaining:

• Have people tear new holes in this version.
  
• Polish, polish, polish until everything is shiny and clean, then cut until it's not any longer than an official IA.
  
• Illustrate the Chapter symbol.
  
• Stop staying up this late to work on a piece of fiction for a game.
  

Edited May 29, 2009 by Apothete

[Telveryon]

Drawn from the geneseed of Ferrus Manus and indoctrinated by a cohort of the stalwart, unforgiving, and technologically advanced Iron Hands,

The Iron Hands are not more technologically advanced then any other chapter, try using "technologically adept" or "technologically inclined".

 

Over the ensuing years, several auxiliary vessels would be taken as prizes in fleet combat, with the largest of these retained and modified to become mining platforms, additional forges, and mobile repair yards or research laboratories, all of which are worked by Chapter serfs and Techmarines.

Why would space marines need research laboratories? They are the Imperium's foremost warriors, the only thing they need to know is how to bash peoples' heads in.

 

though it is also the trait that nearly destroyed the Chapter in the greatest battle in their history, some thirty years ago.

30 years ago to which frame of reference? If you're referring to the 41st millenium try something along the lines "some thirty years before the turn of the 41st millennium." or somesuch.

 

As is so often the case, the truth is much stranger. While using the sensor-deadening asteroids and highly volatile solar winds of the Asterope system to practice blind maneuvering and close support formations within the fleet, the Exonerators were embroiled in the appearance and sudden attack of a mishappen colossus that vomited into reality from a rift into the Warp. Several Strike Cruisers and the majority of the secondary manufactorum fleet were destroyed in the opening minutes of the engagement, non-combat ships screening the Unyielding Resolve from the withering fire so that a counter attack could be launched to support the Brothers who had managed to launch boarding craft before their ships were annihilated. What followed was a tense, desperate battle which cost the Chapter some two thirds of its number in assaulting the foe, fighting in the corridors as they attempted to breach plasma generators and warp engines to prevent any attempts to jump away. The boarding teams achieved limited success and laid waste to a number of the disparate and decentralized reactor chambers, but not enough to truly cripple the agglomeration of ships. Seeing the bloody stalemate onboard the hulk, the remaining members of the Conclave ordered the Bombard cannons aboard all ships to load and fire, delivering salvoes of magma bombs followed by Exterminatus-class viral weapons and cyclonic torpedoes. The rents punched in the hulks' armor by the opening volley afforded purchase for the more specialized munitions, which scoured the blasphemous wreck clean and ruptured its structure into disintegrating fragments.

Perfect spot to trim a bit, the battle is a bit too detailed for an IA.

 

Any happenings afterwards are not recorded in known Imperial databases, but the remaining Brothers orbit the planet Kolrad and remain there to recuperate.

You've written the rest of the IA in a rather omniscient fashion, this bit is somewhat of a letdown, just like an open ended book.

 

the Chapter had used the asteroid field as both a source of raw materials and tactical simulator

"Tactical simulator" sounds to... Modern... Maybe you could try "training arena" or somesuch.

 

Unlike the shattered remnants that likely succumbed to the dual tidal forces of the twin stars, the dense and incredible inhospitable planet now known as Kolrad is an incubator for only the hardiest and most stubborn forms of life. What little vegetation manages to survive on the deeply irradiated and sun-scoured surface would be poisonous to non-natives without the implants of the Astartes, while the scarce supplies of water are unfailingly contagious stews of brackish sludge that have been contaminated with untold bacteria and parasites. Wherever the screaming winds have carved away a hollow, acidic lichens and predatory, chemovoric flora cluster about the oases that shelter in the lees that hide them from the unbearable suns, all of which provide convenient cover for the voracious and highly adapted fauna. Categorical study of life on the surface is nigh impossible, thanks in no small part to generational mutation and swift die-offs, to say nothing of the microclimates that spring up around each of the bodies of water. The entire environment of the planet is a lethal game of one-upsmanship that often brings death to any careless enough to lose focus for even a few seconds.

Another place you could trim a bit. While the description is most entertaining, you really don't need that mcuh detail in a IA.

 

the tribal shamans bringing untrained psyker might to bear under the watchful eyes of the Exonerator Librarium.

Watchfull eye of the Librarium or not, use of untrained psykers is still heresy, the only psykers that are allowed in the Imperium are either sanctioned or Emperor food.

 

near-constant employment of force multipliers.

Space Marines by definition always employ force multipliers. Also, that's another term you might wish expunge for your otherwise excellent writing.

 

One thing that comes across in the whole Combat Doctrine as a whole barring the last paragraph is that it's to clinical. It's more like your describing the doctrine of a modern regiment and not superhuman space knights. You might wish to be a bit more bombastic.

 

but they are fielded along with their brethren rather than closeted away,

"Closeted" seems as a very poor item to refer to a space marine.

 

Well... Those are my two cents, I hope it helps.

[Apothete]

The Iron Hands are not more technologically advanced then any other chapter, try using "technologically adept" or "technologically inclined".

 

I would argue that a Chapter which deliberately severs body parts to replace them with relatively advanced bionics could be claimed to be more adroit in matters of technology, especially since it's a symbolic gesture as much as it is a practical one. While they're not fielding Conversion weapons amongst the rank and file, the Iron Hands are clearly more respectful and desirous of technology than most of their contemporaries. They're not the Mentors, granted, but a part of the Exonerator doctrine is to honor the science that the Emperor pursued and not merely the worship of strength of arms or statecraft that is more common in the Codex adherents.

 

Still, the wording could be improved.

 

I'll think about it.

 

Why would space marines need research laboratories? They are the Imperium's foremost warriors, the only thing they need to know is how to bash peoples' heads in.

 

Consider for a moment that my Chapter has inherited a lust for self-improvement through applied mechanics, one legitimized enough by their antecedents that the tech priesthood of Mars recognizes the Iron Hands as great allies. Their particular take on the pursuit of perfection is not entirely in line with the focus upon physical enhancement, and every single Brother must serve his time amongst the tech adepts on a regular basis. What are you going to be doing with that many trained minds, if not looking for either ancient references and designs amongst archived material or seeking some sort of holy guidance towards new systems? Where do you take any archeotech relics that are recovered, if not to a setting intended to study and understand them?

 

That element of the Exonerators is a more limited, smaller scale shadow of the Mechanicus itself. If the Black Templars can build a new Land Raider from reconstructing old data and then applying it to their own vehicles or the Dark Angels can slap a cannon onto theirs, why can't another Chapter seek similar improvements in the arts of war?

 

30 years ago to which frame of reference? If you're referring to the 41st millenium try something along the lines "some thirty years before the turn of the 41st millennium." or somesuch.

 

I deliberately left it vague since there is no absolute current day available for the universe at the moment, merely the assumption that we're in the last year of the current millenium.

 

Perfect spot to trim a bit, the battle is a bit too detailed for an IA.

 

I used a few of the official Games Workshop IAs as a guide for the scope and scale of an article, and I scaled back from that in several places. As it stands, the account of the battle is already massively shortened from its original form and it serves as an illustration that the Exonerators are forthright, at least somewhat adaptable, and willing to sacrifice everything if it means that they protect the rest of the Imperium in the process.

 

You've written the rest of the IA in a rather omniscient fashion, this bit is somewhat of a letdown, just like an open ended book.

 

The alternative would mean scrapping Kolrad and having to find a way to work in some kind of Imperial Navy, Explorator, or Inquisition force coming to find out just what the moral threat had been. After being told that they were on their own and losing so many of their number, I don't think that the Chapter would be in much of a mood to relate just how weakened they were or what they're doing on the planet at the moment. Instead, they're rebuilding on their own terms and cautioning anyone else to remain away from their current location.

 

"Tactical simulator" sounds to... Modern... Maybe you could try "training arena" or somesuch.

 

I'll look at it again and see what I can come up with.

 

Another place you could trim a bit. While the description is most entertaining, you really don't need that mcuh detail in a IA.

 

Why not? We're talking about the things that set a Chapter apart from the others and the character of the world (or worlds) that they draw from is a part of that.

 

Watchfull eye of the Librarium or not, use of untrained psykers is still heresy, the only psykers that are allowed in the Imperium are either sanctioned or Emperor food.

 

This is a newly rediscovered human population being overseen by a Chapter with depleted numbers and a desire not to be bothered by outsiders. Being so close to the Eye and surrounded by interference, it would be childsplay to report the presence of psykers and tithe to the Black Ships once they've finished rebuilding (the most likely outcome, assuming that a Chapter world even has to do such a thing), fudging the reports ever so slightly in the process. After all, if they're not being strictly truthful about what happened in the first place, what's a little lie over a few psykers here and there? Segements of the Inquisition make literal deals with devils all the time, whether through daemonhosts or the use of proscribed knowledge. The trick is to never let anyone know you were doing it and that's going to be a lot easier at the fringes of a warzone, covered by astronomic phenomena, and in an underground complex you could decalre Exterminatus on if you needed to.

 

It's not like they're not doing the best that they can to bring Imperial traditions and society to the savages. That kind of change doesn't take place overnight, though.

 

Space Marines by definition always employ force multipliers. Also, that's another term you might wish expunge for your otherwise excellent writing.

 

I'm not quite sure what the alternative is, aside from enumerating each specific unit or weapon and the ways that they choose them over more usual forces. The point I was aiming towards is that the Exonerators will try to do damage extremely disproportionate to their numbers, whereas some Astartes see close combat or the simple bolter as the pinnacle of warfare. A Brother of my Chapter would rather scour a bunker with a flamer or detonate a plasma bolt in the midst of a formation, or be interred so that he could possibly do both.

 

One thing that comes across in the whole Combat Doctrine as a whole barring the last paragraph is that it's to clinical. It's more like your describing the doctrine of a modern regiment and not superhuman space knights. You might wish to be a bit more bombastic.

 

I guess I can see what you're saying, but I didn't entirely see that segment as lending itself to a pompous style, which seemed to belong more to the beliefs segment than anywhere else.

 

"Closeted" seems as a very poor item to refer to a space marine.

 

I was finishing the rewrite somettime around two or three in the morning. Honestly, I'm a little surprised that it was coming out in complete sentences.

 

Still, I'll add it to the list of things to back and reconsider.

 

Thanks for taking the time, Telveryon. I appreciate the praise and the shredding in equal measure.

[Octavulg]

In the wake of The Ghost War portion of Abbadon's seventh Black Crusade, a large swathe of the Cadia Sector was left ravaged and devoid of dedicated defenders. Though the losses suffered by the forces of the Imperial Guard were cause for concern, it was clear that additional counterstrike capabilities would be required and only further mustering of Astartes could possibly fill the role. The Chapters that had participated in the defense were not generally in condition to provide for new foundings, and so it was decreed that the gene-banks of the Adeptus Mechanicus be opened and those more distant from the front be chosen to sponsor these neophyte Marines. Drawn from the geneseed of Ferrus Manus and indoctrinated by a cohort of the stalwart, unforgiving, and technologically advanced Iron Hands, the Exonerators were created to be a fleet-based rapid response force, ready to mobilize and support the defenders of any world bordering on the Eye at a moment's notice. Should a world fall, theirs would be the task of liberating the populace or delivering the Emperor's Peace at a planetary scale.

 

OK. Couple of problems. Firstly, the writing's a little awkward (especially in the first few sentences). Secondly, it seems likely the defenders of the Cadian region would have been drawn from a variety of geneseed sources. Calling anyone in the Imperium technologically advanced feels just plain wrong. :P Geneseed for new chapters is always drawn from the Ad.Mech stocks - that's a large part of why they maintain them.

 

This assigment would also seem likely to make your chapter part of the Astartes Praeses.

 

You've indulged your tendency to wax loquacious, a tendency which is best suppressed for this sort of writing. You could reduce the whole paragraph to:

 

"In the wake of the Ghost War of Abaddon's Seventh Black Crusade, large swathes of the Cadia Sector were left ravaged. It was clear that reinforcement was required, and only a new Astartes Chapter could be sufficient to fulfill all the responsiblities required. The gene-banks of the Adeptus Mechanicus were opened, and the geneseed of Ferrus Manus used to form a new chapter, one which would be mentored by the stalwart Iron Hands. This new Chapter was the Exonerators, and they were to serve as a fleet-based force which would remain ever-ready to support the defenders of any world bordering the Eye of Terror. Should a world fall theirs would be the task of its liberation - or its destruction."

 

No doubt the above could be improved upon, but it's still a lot shorter, with the exact same information. Do more, with less. It's a very Space Marine concept. :(

 

Unnamed and yet to be christened, the fledgling Chapter would find itself through what later generations would hail as direct intervention. On the eve of their dedication and the official creation of the Chapter, Chaplain Horatius Venn was gifted with a vision while meditating upon the task laid before him in stewarding the spirits of Brothers yet to come. In his mind's eye, the new Reclusiarch saw the Emperor himself bestriding Terra and Mars, lifting an ornately tooled Bolter of archaic design and take aim at the cankerous heart of the Eye. The simple battlecry of the Chapter spilt from His lips like the sonorous peal of worlds cracking apart, each syllable accompanied by a blinding burst of muzzle flash that sent a blazing arrow of pure hatred towards the enormous blackened chains that bound His people to the blighted gateway, every shot making the golden armor sheathing his arm glow white with the afterimage of a great, ghostly, mechanical serpent. Each shell shattered a link, freeing the subjects of the Imperium, and the pieces rained down to become purified lengths of interwoven metal that indelibly bound the Chaplain and his followers to their weapons and wargear as they fought on a myriad of battlefields. So it came to pass, after consulting with the Conclave, that Horatius named them Exonerators and charged the Chapter to bear His sign until He rose to join them in freeing all of humanity from their struggles.

 

Using a bolter to break chains feels...wrong. Use a sword. You know you want to.

 

Also, the fanciful language obscures the key points of the vision and why they are the Exonerators - they're the Exonerators because they're trying to free the people of the Imperium... But from what? Dependence on the Eye of Terror? They don't have any, really. Maybe you could argue they have dependence on the Warp, but that seems to lead in other, odd directions for the Chapter.

 

Really, the space devoted to fancy language would be better served presenting a clearer explanation of the vision and of what, exactly, the Exonerators are freeing humanity from.

 

Plus, Exonerator = prove innocent, not free. That would be a Liberator. :P

 

If you want to be Exonerators, you need to be fighting to prove humanity innocent - perhaps to prove that they are worthy of the Emperor's return?

 

Duly sanctified and now under the watchful, synthetic eyes of their primogenitors, the Chapter took possession of the Unyielding Resolve,

 

NOW WHO'S GOT EXCESSIVE COMMAS!? ;)

 

Ahem. Tsk tsk.

 

While neither dwell on the surface, the Kolradi know that the fearsome, armored giants live beyond the sky and come to choose only those worthy to serve the Emperor. On fire they come and flame they bring, ever ready to cull those who foolishly risk the trials without the mettle to withstand them.

 

Do you need a home world? I'm not honestly sure you do - it seems as much an afterthought to you as it was to the chapter, and your chapter's character seems completely independent of it. Might be best to leave it out.

 

Battlefield Doctrine:

 

Usually called Combat Doctrine.

 

Where normal Astartes might have some recreational time, the Lightbearers live in extreme privation and asceticism. It is an honor that is bittersweet, for those who are inducted into the orders' ranks are forever sworn away from the mundanities of command or leadership outside of their own ranks and accept a life of sacrifice even more extreme than that of a normal Marine.

 

A marine's recreational period is some fifteen minutes per diem. :P

 

The wargear of the Lighbearers is the pinnacle of the Artificier's work, ensuring that they take only the best armaments to battle. Every suit of armor is forged of reliquary fragments of ceramite and adamantite harvested after the battle for Asterope, every weapon and piece of wargear consecrated and etched with devotionals and catechisms of rebuke. Their minds are filled with litanies of the great heroes of the Astartes and their faith seems to manifest as an almost palpable air of protection on the field of battle.

 

Why does this organization exist?

 

Do not mourn your flesh, Brothers.

The loss of tissue is as nothing to the loss of self.

Are you not more than a hand or an eye?

Does the heart within your chest make you a man?

Is it not, rather, the will to do that which must be done?

-Apothecary Hadrian, Second Company

 

Most people don't speak in free verse, and I would have thought Marines were no exception.

 

* * *

 

The length should be the minimum necessary to present the information (especially once you get up to the 5000-word area, where you and I are). This is not the minimum length, as I think I demonstrated effectively with the first paragraph. Go through, and ruthlessly pare stuff down. Far better to tell everyone everything simply, than some people some of it in a pretty fashion. If you write things in a brief fashion, people stumble through and hit the end before they realize it. :P

 

The whole Lux thing is neat, but it seems oddly ill-fitting with their other aspects of their character and of their beliefs. The IAs pretty busy already, and adding a moderately complicated belief system which lacks a clear derivation from their other viewpoints seems a poor choice to me.

 

Much more coherent than last time, BTW. ;)

[Apothete]

OK. Couple of problems. Firstly, the writing's a little awkward (especially in the first few sentences). Secondly, it seems likely the defenders of the Cadian region would have been drawn from a variety of geneseed sources. Calling anyone in the Imperium technologically advanced feels just plain wrong. tongue.gif Geneseed for new chapters is always drawn from the Ad.Mech stocks - that's a large part of why they maintain them.

 

This assigment would also seem likely to make your chapter part of the Astartes Praeses.

 

The opening paragraph has never been my favorite part of this writeup and it's something that I wish I'd found a more elegant solution to, but I just can't seem to conceive of a way to do the introductory noise thing without it being clunky. There are parts of this writeup that I'm proud of and some that I'm borderline embarrassed by, with this featuring prominently amongst those that I wish I could sweep away. Still, since I'm giving up on trimming until I have all the thematic elements in place and neatly lined up, I think there has to be something that can be done to clean it up while still keeping the information that I want to be included.

 

As for the other criticisms, mea culpa. The Adeptus Biologus are going to be the ones who dole out the geneseed for all Chapters, so it's more window dressing than anything critical and so will likely hit the chopping block when it comes time to go slash and burn. Also, you're right that the techno-zealotry of the Imperium is something that makes it a little ironic to be calling anyone more advanced, but I think an argument could be made that some factions of the incredibly wideflung society are more oriented towards a progressive mindset. Now, the likelihood and provenance of that being an Astartes Chapter is something we could debate.

 

Oh, and thanks for throwing the Praeses out there. I was honestly unaware that there was an official name for the Chapters which had been selected to guard the Eye, but I'm glad to see that they're not all completely taken up. That leaves me some room to make the Exonerators one of them!

 

Well, until Games Workshop decides to ruin that by publishing a full list...

 

No doubt the above could be improved upon, but it's still a lot shorter, with the exact same information. Do more, with less. It's a very Space Marine concept.

 

B-b-b-ut... I'm more Remembrancer than Codicier!

 

More seriously, I have a better grounding in verbosity than I do in being concise. Cutting word count down is something that I've always had to battle with whenever the subject is something I actually like. The final product will surely be slimmer than what I've been putting out so far, but I'm using the available space to try to hammer out the concepts that need to go underneath the trimming before I try to squeeze things. Besides, as I'm going to discuss a little later in this response, I think I've come to an epihpanic realization.

 

Thanks for the attempt at condensing for me, though. Consider it fodder for the next rewrite.

 

Using a bolter to break chains feels...wrong. Use a sword. You know you want to.

 

Actually, the vision and the invocation sidebar are legacy inclusions from an older version of the Chapter, along with the battlecry and several thematic elements that seem to be at odds with the current direction I'm pursuing.

 

The core concept was supposed to be that they saw themselves as highly manufactured, extremely lethal, but ultimately expendable living munitions that were aimed and fired by the will of the Emperor himself. The triune belief system was a product of the same line of thought that lead there, along with a number of other things that have been removed, edited, or adapted to their current forms.

 

I'm starting to believe that I need to make a clean break with their very first version, draw a line in the virtual sand, and start fresh with two different Chapters so that I can separate the parts that seem to be conflicting with one another. The Exonerators will continue on as my Iron Hands successors who have their thematic core, and then I can pick up some of my earlier ideas and pursue them as a separate force that would be less hamstrung by my attempt to tie everything I've been coming up with together.

 

If you want to be Exonerators, you need to be fighting to prove humanity innocent - perhaps to prove that they are worthy of the Emperor's return?

 

Actually, I have an idea here, one that would give them more to do with innocence and less to do with freedom.

 

NOW WHO'S GOT EXCESSIVE COMMAS!?

 

Err... Both of us?

 

Do you need a home world? I'm not honestly sure you do - it seems as much an afterthought to you as it was to the chapter, and your chapter's character seems completely independent of it. Might be best to leave it out.

 

Kolrad is not exactly an afterthought, but I think it might very well be something that needs to be changed to a different line of development.

 

The way that I saw my IA originally unfolding, the Chapter would be surprised and nearly slaughtered by an incredibly powerful space hulk while operating far from any possibility of support. There had been an element of disgust and hatred for a Dark Angels commander who refused to aid them because (unknown to the Exonerators) he was busy hunting the Fallen, but I discarded that as possibly being too much of a tie-to-the-known crutch. After successfully defeating the hulk's complement of aggressors and blowing it to smithereens, the limping remnants of the Chapter would find and/or return to a planet within the system where they were conducting maneuvers, there to discover a neglected and forgotten human population that they could use for rebuilding.

 

I wanted to keep this a somewhat desperate and secretive part of their history, something that forced them to conceal their losses so that they would not be declared too weak to be allowed to continue while also emphasizing their dogged determination. It was also going to be a very recent event, one which it would be impossible to have completely recovered from, because I have a personal love for underdogs and antiheroes that persevere through horrible circumstances. I know, I know... That last part is about as loathesome a personal failing as possible, but it's true.

 

Now, I may have failed to convey all of that, but the planet wasn't an afterthought. It's just a heavily edited and repeatedly revised element of the story, which is one reason that I think this project might need to be forked into two Chapters.

 

A marine's recreational period is some fifteen minutes per diem.

 

Bah.

 

If you can't get your rites and practice over sooner than others, you're just lazy.

 

Why does this organization exist?

 

Honestly? It's a legacy piece from earlier revisions that I like, and for which I have some modeling plans, but which is really an excuse to field Grey Knights counts-as.

 

I'm sorry. I'm weak.

 

Most people don't speak in free verse, and I would have thought Marines were no exception.

 

Ha-ha!

 

It made a lot more sense to do that at three in the morning, when I was breaking it up so that the formatting looked better. I've got a pretty wide monitor and the combination of text, headings, and sidebars made the quote look subtly wrong somehow. The quote is really just a line of spoken words, not free verse.

 

The whole Lux thing is neat, but it seems oddly ill-fitting with their other aspects of their character and of their beliefs. The IAs pretty busy already, and adding a moderately complicated belief system which lacks a clear derivation from their other viewpoints seems a poor choice to me.

 

Yeah, and between some thoughts of my own and your criticism here, I'm finding myself starting to agree with you. The Lux Imperator is not my worst idea ever, but I'm not sure that it needs to be a part of the Exonerators.

 

However, I'm going to need to come up with something awesome to replace it with.

[Apothete]

New and Improved!

 

One out of two isn't bad, is it?

 

Changes in this version:

• Removed the Lightbearers, Lux Imperator, and other elements that will be moved to a separate Chapter that better fit the theme.
  
• Changed colors yet again to reflect the above alteration.
  
• Rewrote beliefs, homeworld, and organization to pare them down and change tone somewhat.
  
• Altered the intended purpose of the Chapter to hopefully reflect their name a little more.
  
• Added Scrutators to take up some of the slack in the beliefs section, and also because I have ideas for the models.
  
• Slashed out 1600 words from the last draft.
  

 

Still to do:

• Rewrite and reintroduce flavor quotes.
  
• Illustrate the Chapter symbol, which has changed with the removal of the Lux Imperator angle.
  
• Polish and possibly cut further.
  
• Find a fitting battle cry that isn't a ripoff of existing Chapters.
  

[Grand Master Tyrak]

Illustrate the Chapter symbol, which has changed with the removal of the Lux Imperator angle.

 

That's not always essential as long as you get it done at some point - my guys got into the Librarium despite me still not having thought up a Chapter symbol. :)

[Apothete]

That's not always essential as long as you get it done at some point - my guys got into the Librarium despite me still not having thought up a Chapter symbol. :D

 

It might be possible to get into the Librarium without having everything done, but that doesn't change my being a perfectionist idiot who wants them to be completely finished before I even think about submitting them. I doubt that the project will ever be completely finished and beyond reproach, but that's true of even the official Chapters.

 

However, since you've given me some very insightful commentary in the past, what did you think of the new version? Does it hang together more tightly than the previous one, even though I cut your favorite part (which I'm saving for another project)? Do I have any glaring weaknesses or elements that need more explanation?

[Telveryon]

Not as far as I'm concerned. My personal opinion is that it makes for an excellent read. I'm sure Ocravulg will still find a few nitpicks but then again, he's the master of nitpicking(that's why we all love him)!

[Apothete]

Not as far as I'm concerned. My personal opinion is that it makes for an excellent read. I'm sure Ocravulg will still find a few nitpicks but then again, he's the master of nitpicking(that's why we all love him)!

 

Not the least of which will be your misspelling his name...

 

After going through and commenting on your thread, I caught myself doing exactly what I tell others not to. Bad me!

[Apothete]

Minor Revision/Addition:

 

I changed a portion of the Geneseed heading to add an idea I've been sitting on ever since I started the rewrite, put a new quote in the header for the article, and added a tentative battle cry. There are a few word choice changes sprinkled here and there as well, but I figured I'd bump and ask for critique on the new additions.

[Apothete]

Wait-a-week bump...

 

I have some further revision to do on things that I think could be tightened up, and there are places that the writing could probably use some more polish to get the flow where I want it to be, but I think they're conceptually nearing the finish line. The thing that I'm least happy with at the moment is the battle cry, but I'm at a loss for something that pops and is suitably in line with their themes. Also, I want to more thoroughly delve into their reasons for combining Apothecaries and Chaplains into a single body, since the Scrutators are more than just a weird combination of Iron Fathers and Inquisitor-Chaplains.

 

Any further comments or suggestions?

[Telveryon]

Two very minor nitpicks that I should have complained last time.

 

That terrible conflict, the Battle for Asterope, is a thing of legend within the Exonerator ranks, though few aside from a handful of souls in Scarum Sector Command know the true reason for the near annihilation of a Chapter in a single engagement.

30 years seems a rather short time for a battle to become the stuff of legend given the fact that those that fought said battle would still be around and kicking.

 

Any others maintain a symbolic nod to the Chapter's heraldry through retention of the massive Dreadnought Close Combat Weapon.

"Nod" sounds just a bit two informal...

 

Other that those, and exquisite read.

 

As for a warcry suggestion: "Steel in body, iron in will!"

[Apothete]

Point taken in both cases, but I somewhat stand by the wording in the first one as a bit of hyperbole that was meant to emphasize just how important the conflict is to both the veterans who survived and the novices who have only had the story told to them. It hasn't had time to take on that special patina of exaggeration, loss of fine detail, and hearsay that makes for a really good legend, but it's also the kind of thing that likely will turn into just that sort of tale in the coming centuries.

 

Thanks for the suggestion on warcry. I'll toss it on the pile with the others.

[Brother Keir]

Excellent. A very good read.

 

BELIEFS

 

while also unlocking a potential that is seen as necessary for mankind to evolve.

 

Don't get me wrong. I do like this part, but...

 

1) Generally, in the Imperium: Evolution is mutation is bad. Are you saying 'promotion of a mutation is necessary for mankind to continue to mutate' is a good thing? I just wanted to make sure you knew how it sounds to me.

 

2) I know some chapters promote mutations within their own ranks, even psykers. Promoting the mutation of mankind is a good theory, but I think it would be a terrible secret for a chapter to hold this belief.

 

3) This may be wrong or old/bad canon, but... I got the impression that the psychic power of the universe was more or less of a constant in this game-world. Thousands of 'shaman' gave their lives to form the Emperor from their collected will. While I am not certain, the evolution of mankind into psykers could be the heat-death of the Emperor's consciousness... but sometimes I take things too far.

 

These are just some points that popped into my head as I read this one section. If you look at it from the machine/man angle of Star Trek: The Motion Picture, in a purely mental sense, the evolution of consciousness might be a good thing. I hope this is helpful.

[Apothete]

Excellent. A very good read.

 

Thank you kindly, and it's nice to see a fresh face in the thread.

 

 

1) Generally, in the Imperium: Evolution is mutation is bad. Are you saying 'promotion of a mutation is necessary for mankind to continue to mutate' is a good thing? I just wanted to make sure you knew how it sounds to me.

 

2) I know some chapters promote mutations within their own ranks, even psykers. Promoting the mutation of mankind is a good theory, but I think it would be a terrible secret for a chapter to hold this belief.

 

Points one and two are connected by an element that I hinted at within the article itself, but which could be more fully explained by saying that the Exonerators not only believe but are putting into practice a brand of the Gethesmenite "Heresy." The Ecclesiarchy and some elements of the Inquisition would find it deeply troubling that there is an Astartes Chapter which not only believes in physical improvement of the human form through implantation and rigorous discipline, but in seeking to sharpen the mind and bring its less understood powers to the forefront.

 

In essence, the monks of Gethesmene believe that the Emperor was not only a consummate warrior and general, but also a scientist without peer. One of his avenues of exploration was obviously the genetic manipulation of his primarchs and the Astartes themselves. However, they believe that his manifest psyker abilities were a clear sign that he would welcome the proper, disciplined application of similar might by humanity and its guardians. In fact, they see it as the key to our survival. Mankind must embrace this poorly understood phenomenon and make use of it if they are to push back the multitude of threats that face the Imperium. Obviously, those most suited to first understanding and taming this dangerous energy are his chosen, the Space Marines. Once they have mastered the rigorous process by which the warp may be bent to one's will, it can be simplified and turned into something that even a Guardsman could employ relatively safely.

 

By equal measure, thanks to their training at the feet of the Iron Hands, the Exonerators see no conflict with that belief and the practice of regular purging of the weak. Those who cannot be brought into line can be replaced by the ones who can, a forced evolution of the race to something stronger and more enduring. In essence, my chapter are cyber-shamanic eugenecists who are putting their figurative money where their mouths used to be, trying to both lead by example and cull those who are obviously too pathetic to ever aspire to their vision of the Emperor's will.

 

3) This may be wrong or old/bad canon, but... I got the impression that the psychic power of the universe was more or less of a constant in this game-world. Thousands of 'shaman' gave their lives to form the Emperor from their collected will. While I am not certain, the evolution of mankind into psykers could be the heat-death of the Emperor's consciousness... but sometimes I take things too far.

 

It very well could be old fluff, but I don't recall ever seeing anything about there being a finite amount of the immaterium to go around.

 

My impression had always been that the sacrifice of all the shamans was a way to pour their combined experience, knowledge, and power into a single body so that they would have an avatar of humanity to lead and protect the rest of the race. The Emperor is supposed to be all those things that the Ruinous Powers are perversions of, the bright side of a dark mirror. Even if we were to assume that you were correct and that the ascension of mankind to a state more like the Eldar's constant warp suffusion would kill him, I'm not sure that it would be counter to the overall goal that they had in the first place.

 

These are just some points that popped into my head as I read this one section. If you look at it from the machine/man angle of Star Trek: The Motion Picture, in a purely mental sense, the evolution of consciousness might be a good thing. I hope this is helpful.

 

There's an idea that I've been weighing for some time now, ever since I split the Chapter and kept the machine angles I had been working. It would likely be considered both tech-heresy and something that would bother the Ecclesiarchy, Inquisition, and other Chapters alike were it to be allowed to leave the ranks of the Exonerators.

 

In short, I have always loved the idea of the enshrined, entombed warriors who continue to serve as best as they can. The problem that I run into is that Games Workshop doesn't want to allow me to have Dreadnought officers and that makes it silly to have them actively in command positions, unless I find my own workarounds from a fluff angle. One such idea that I had was for the Exonerators to possess the ability to manufacture the sarcophogi that go into their Dreadnoughts at a higher rate than they can either build or acquire more of the walkers themselves. Given their close ties to the Mechanicus and the reverence they hold for technology, combined with the complete willingness of their Brothers to bind themselves into the entombment voluntarily should the occupant of a Dreadnought die, I had started to wonder how it might be possible to keep a constantly active corps of combat capable veterans and command level staff lucid in the face of the established fluff.

 

Then it struck me.

 

Heretical and controversial as it may be, I started to wonder just how difficult it may be to wire one of those Sarcophogi into banks of cogitators and data storage, along with the control systems and logistics of the Chapter's ships, spacecraft, and transports. In essence, no brother who might yet serve is allowed to die if there is a chance he can be recovered and brought back to the Unyielding Resolve. There, he would be implanted and undergo whatever retraining might be necessary so that he could take on a new life, one that allows him to still smite the foes of the Empire - whether literally or in a more metaphorical manner. Those who have been freshly interred and who maintain a sense of self and humanity would serve as bridge crew and gunners aboard the Chapter fleet, pilots for Rhinos, Razorbacks, Land Raiders, and Thunderhawks, being posted to combat roles as often as possible so that they have the psychological satisfaction that comes from fulfilling what they know is their purpose. Perhaps they never hold a bolter again, but what loss is that when they command the magazine of magma bombs within a Bombardment Cannon?

 

Then, as they begin to suffer the need to become somnolent and rest for longer periods of time, the sacrophogi are removed and placed into the very heart of the fortress-ship so that their life experiences can be tapped and added to the Chapter's knowledge, their waking time used to augment and sharpen their brothers' training and understanding of the past. They would be an adjunct to the Librarium, a collection of ancients who are available to fight should the need arise and no suitable replacement already be on hand, but who would serve as advisors and honored tacticians who supervise the training of the novices whenever possible. An unbroken line of experience would show any Exonerator who wished to know how they had descended from their parent Chapter, what had shaped them as they stood on their own, and what lessons had been paid in blood already.

[Grand Master Tyrak]

In essence, the monks of Gethesmene believe that the Emperor was not only a consummate warrior and general, but also a scientist without peer. One of his avenues of exploration was obviously the genetic manipulation of his primarchs and the Astartes themselves. However, they believe that his manifest psyker abilities were a clear sign that he would welcome the proper, disciplined application of similar might by humanity and its guardians. In fact, they see it as the key to our survival. Mankind must embrace this poorly understood phenomenon and make use of it if they are to push back the multitude of threats that face the Imperium

 

Excellent. Indeed, the Imperium follows this philosophy more than it would like to admit.

 

Heretical and controversial as it may be, I started to wonder just how difficult it may be to wire one of those Sarcophogi into banks of cogitators and data storage, along with the control systems and logistics of the Chapter's ships, spacecraft, and transports. . . . Perhaps they never hold a bolter again, but what loss is that when they command the magazine of magma bombs within a Bombardment Cannon?

 

I like this, but it does have some limitations. Firstly, Dreadnoughts need sleep to stop them from going mad. Although that wouldn't affect Battle-Brothers wired into the bombardment cannons (you're not seeing constant action), it does mean you wouldn't be able to use them for any of the systems that need to be on constantly - engines, steering, etc. That would have to be done by the regular crew.

 

Secondly, even the Brothers wired into the cannons will get less sleep than a Dreadnought should. Throw in a line about those Brothers going mad sooner than a Dreadnought (no need to specify the exact time) and you should be fine.

[Brother Keir]

Throw in a line about those Brothers going mad sooner than a Dreadnought (no need to specify the exact time) and you should be fine.

 

I think the idea that they are less likely to go mad, unless it were a bio-chemical process. The chapter would seem well conditioned (and purposely conditioned) to patiently serving for millenia as a thinking machine. I think a battery of interned brothers could man a post and still get any needed sleep. Perhaps, their combined subconscious while sleeping could serve as a gestalt nervous system for a ship and run its systems instinctively after some time.

[Apothete]

Excellent. Indeed, the Imperium follows this philosophy more than it would like to admit.

 

That's one justification that I planned on bringing up if people had a huge issue with the idea of Gethesmenite Marines, since there's a huge institution in place already to collect, train, sanctify, and deploy both the more usual breed of psykers and the Navis Nobilite. Between the enormous numbers sacrificed to sate the unending hunger of the Emperor and the ones who are allowed to merely die in his service, it's plain to see that the Imperium needs psykers even though the party line is that they hate them. Without the immaterium, they would have no long-distance travel, no communications between star systems, no Imperial Tarot, no counter to the psykers of other races, and so on.

 

I like this, but it does have some limitations. Firstly, Dreadnoughts need sleep to stop them from going mad. Although that wouldn't affect Battle-Brothers wired into the bombardment cannons (you're not seeing constant action), it does mean you wouldn't be able to use them for any of the systems that need to be on constantly - engines, steering, etc. That would have to be done by the regular crew.

 

Absolutely, though I tried to convey that in the brief little blurb I put up last night.

 

The service life of one of these crippled semi-dead would be closely monitored and they would only be allowed to remain in a highly active role for as long as their psycho-conditioning could be maintained by the Scrutators and the Techmarines. Since the Chapter descends from the Iron Hands and probably possesses some knowledge that would be hard to come by for others who have not made such tight ties to Mars, I think that it's plausible that they could keep up their entombed Brothers for longer stretches of time than most. That doesn't mean that you're going to get someone shoved in a box and then left to fly a Strike Cruiser for a thousand years, but I can't see how it's that much different from the way that the Astartes seem to wire their Captains into the control pulpits of starships. After a while, the vehicle that you're a part of becomes your body, and the Exonerators actually want to become more unified with the machine so that they can worry less about the inevitable failure of flesh. They're just a little less eager for that part than their parent Chapter was.

 

As I see it, a Brother who falls but doesn't die would be placed into the sarcophagus and then tested and trained over and over again for months or years, then placed within an available role that would suit his abilities. All of my Marines spend time in training to pilot and drive anything in the Chapter short of the fleet, so that leaves plenty of possibilities. After each battle, they're brought in and their armored bodies serviced and ritually cleansed, all while their minds and spirits are ministered to. The signs of dementia and loss of humanity would be fairly well known to the Scrutators, who have had millenia to pass on the knowledge and who have the amassed gestalt-consciousness and memories of the slumbering ancients to call upon for reference. I particularly like that last angle, as it almost feels like a cybernetic take on what was done to create the Emperor.

 

When not called upon to serve, the entombed would spend their time in meditation, prayer, and the half-sleep state that all Astartes can reach, or in communing with those who wish to learn what they had experienced in the past. They would be allowed to remain this way until their rest states become too long and too arduous to rise from quickly, at which point they would be transfered to the catacombs beneath the Librarium and allowed to join what I'm increasingly finding myself wanting to call the Kore. Even if they don't possess the other characteristics of the Goddess who historically bear that name, Proserpine/Persephone was also the Queen of the Underworld and, more importantly for a Chapter of this lineage, was called the Iron Queen because of her unforgiving and unrelenting aspect in that role.

 

Secondly, even the Brothers wired into the cannons will get less sleep than a Dreadnought should. Throw in a line about those Brothers going mad sooner than a Dreadnought (no need to specify the exact time) and you should be fine.

 

I'm overthinking this, aren't I?

 

I think the idea that they are less likely to go mad, unless it were a bio-chemical process. The chapter would seem well conditioned (and purposely conditioned) to patiently serving for millenia as a thinking machine. I think a battery of interned brothers could man a post and still get any needed sleep. Perhaps, their combined subconscious while sleeping could serve as a gestalt nervous system for a ship and run its systems instinctively after some time.

 

The idea is that they're brought up from the time that they're initiates to revere the man-machine interface and to do anything that will extend their ability to fight wars in the name of the Emperor, which you've clearly picked up. I'm starting to lean towards the Unyielding Resolve having an archeotech interface built into it which is what allows the gestalt to exist, though that might be a bit too much of a step towards having my Chapter be too super. Whether or not that element surfaces, I see the Brothers believing that the state that these entombed exist in as something to be devoutly wished rather than a punishment. To commune with the Machine and still serve the Emperor would be the complete synthesis of their twofold belief system, allowing them to pursue the betterment of the race through supporting their Brothers while still maintaining the ability to crush their foes.

 

---

 

On a completely unrelated note, I've been tossing around a modeling idea in my head that has some ties to the situation and beliefs of the Exonerators and I figured that this would be the best place to get feedback on it.

 

Basically, since they so rarely come back to the relative safety of Imperial space and manufacture most of their own wargear, I had decided some time ago that their forgeships would be capable of limited production of STC templates. However, given the circumstances and the limited access to resources that they would suffer from, I had looked at the main Rhino chassis variants with the eye of an engineer. Aside from the venting and cannon mount that you have for a Vindicator or that silly top-mounted door on the basic vehicle, there's not all that large a difference between the variants. Just how heretical would it be for an established chapter to manufacture a hull with the basic characteristics of all the major variants installed at once?

 

As I forsee the build, you'd have a Vindicator front plate with an armored cover for the cannon mount when not in use, Rhino sides and back (like they all have), the Predator/Whirlwind top plate with a drop-in hatch and internal mounts for modular machinery for those variants, and I plan on sticking dozer blades and the extra bulk of reinforced armor because I like the look of the latter. Rather than having to maintain separate chassis for each role, the Exonerators would keep a motor pool of single hulls that can be turned to any of the purposes necessary. As I see it, that's no worse than the modifications that others have done to the Land Raider to create the Crusader and Redeemer, and they have the excuse of efficiency and need.

 

Any thoughts?

[Grand Master Tyrak]

it's plain to see that the Imperium needs psykers even though the party line is that they hate them.

 

Meh. They hate the bad ones, but the good ones are OK. It's just safer to assume you've got a bad one when you first find them. If you hate all psykers, you stray into Radicalism (sort of the BT viewpoint, but more hard-core), since you'll end up hating essential psykers like Astropaths and Navigators, and eventually the Emperor himself.

 

no counter to the psykers of other races

 

The Untouchables seem to be doing well enough. ;)

 

but I can't see how it's that much different from the way that the Astartes seem to wire their Captains into the control pulpits of starships.

 

That's on a temporary basis. For yours, you'd need to take into account extra concerns such as sustenance, MIU feedback risks, etc.

 

the entombed would spend their time in meditation, prayer, and the half-sleep state that all Astartes can reach,

 

Throw in a reference to the Catalespean Node. That's going to be critical to the half-asleep state, and I think you might not be able to work it if the candidate had their destroyed, or couldn't be implanted with a new one.

 

I'm overthinking this, aren't I?

 

If you are, so am I. ;)

 

I'm starting to lean towards the Unyielding Resolve having an archeotech interface built into it which is what allows the gestalt to exist, though that might be a bit too much of a step towards having my Chapter be too super.

 

It's not too super, but it's definitely heresy. That crosses the boundaries of caution regarding no pure A.I., and is certainly tech-heresy. If you want this to stay in, you'd have to alter your relations to the Mechanicus so they are a slightly shadier side of the AdMech. Still mainstream, but not the organisation as a whole.

 

I had decided some time ago that their forgeships would be capable of limited production of STC templates. However, given the circumstances and the limited access to resources that they would suffer from, I had looked at the main Rhino chassis variants with the eye of an engineer. Aside from the venting and cannon mount that you have for a Vindicator or that silly top-mounted door on the basic vehicle, there's not all that large a difference between the variants. Just how heretical would it be for an established chapter to manufacture a hull with the basic characteristics of all the major variants installed at once?

 

As I forsee the build, you'd have a Vindicator front plate with an armored cover for the cannon mount when not in use, Rhino sides and back (like they all have), the Predator/Whirlwind top plate with a drop-in hatch and internal mounts for modular machinery for those variants, and I plan on sticking dozer blades and the extra bulk of reinforced armor because I like the look of the latter

 

Technology or heresy-wise, no problems. However, the Machine Spirits don't seem to take kindly to being bandied around, which is why they are dedicated as a Rhino or (if suitable) a particular variant. I'm afraid the lack of technological understanding is going to foil this one.

[Brother Keir]

Rather than having to maintain separate chassis for each role, the Exonerators would keep a motor pool of single hulls that can be turned to any of the purposes necessary. As I see it, that's no worse than the modifications that others have done to the Land Raider to create the Crusader and Redeemer, and they have the excuse of efficiency and need.

 

Disclaimer: I have a looser view of canon than some.

 

Feasibility: Fair

 

As far as I understand, it this is how many of these vehicles were initially created (from the Rhino chassis), however, the modifications to be made for a vindicator, for example, might be too extensive too allow for modularity. A whirlwind or predator to razorback or even Rhino on the other hand, might be easier. Attachments for fitting these modules may take up extra (fictional) room... or maybe not. (BTW: The silly door on top allows a couple of your passengers to shoot, which can make a huge difference.)

 

Heresy: Maybe not

 

While Mars may make a big noise about such things, they don't seem to exert the same sort (not saying less, just different) of influence as the Ecclesiarchy and it is often their own trained "clergy" which make these field modifications, such as the Ares pattern Land Raider et cetera. With no end-result-vehicles being technically outside of the realm of STC patterning, the modularity might only be perceived as a minor modification. (You'll know you've crossed the line, if your Rhinos start morphing into Dreadnoughts. ;) )

 

My opinion is: There is a vague possibility that someone might notice a slight deviation from STC in your vehicles and less of a chance that they would do anything about it.

 

(Of course there is this take on it too: If everyone is buying Land Raider Crusaders, the AdMech will lavish it with blessings, while GW gets your buck (and mine.) If everyone is buying magnets to save money on large numbers of vehicles... they may take offense, but might not want scare off business either. This is pure speculation, of course, and clearly not based on canon.)

 

Technology or heresy-wise, no problems. However, the Machine Spirits don't seem to take kindly to being bandied around, which is why they are dedicated as a Rhino or (if suitable) a particular variant. I'm afraid the lack of technological understanding is going to foil this one.

Hmmm... you (GMT) are saying that the machine spirit wouldn't put up with it? What if the machine spirit were tied into the module? Then it wouldn't know any different. ;)

[Apothete]

Meh. They hate the bad ones, but the good ones are OK. It's just safer to assume you've got a bad one when you first find them. If you hate all psykers, you stray into Radicalism (sort of the BT viewpoint, but more hard-core), since you'll end up hating essential psykers like Astropaths and Navigators, and eventually the Emperor himself.

 

Point taken and gladly conceded, though I think that it would be closer to my original intent to say that some elements of the Imperium hate psykers with a passion that defies all reason. Bringing up the Capital Letter style The Imperium is about as informative as talking about the Inquisition as a whole, given the unfathomable size, byzantine complexity, and stultifyingly enormous bureaucractic nonsense that so defines everyone's favorite stellar empire. The prime examples would be Monodominants within the Inquisition, basically all of the Adepta Sororitas, and the more hardline of the Astartes.

 

Anyone with an ounce of sense realizes that their warp-capable ships are being guided by astropaths who rely upon the psyker sitting on the big gold chair back on Terra.

 

The Untouchables seem to be doing well enough.

 

Un-touche.

 

That's on a temporary basis. For yours, you'd need to take into account extra concerns such as sustenance, MIU feedback risks, etc.

 

I know how much you dislike a lot of what the Black Library does, but it's definitely in at least two of the books that I've read. The commander of an Astartes starship may be hooked in by means that can be removed and theoretically allow him to fight on his feet, but I've always felt that its likely that the trip is as one-way as moving to the moon would be in a Heinlein novel. Whether or not you mean to stay there, you grow so accustomed to the demands made by your circumstances that leaving them might become a physical impossibility as much by conditioning (mental in this case, physical in the moon example) as by any possible atrophy or loss of nerve conditioning.

 

The other elements are things that would have to be taken care of for anything or anyone implanted within a sarcophagus, and thus it would be an issue at least partly solved by their experience with Dreadnoughts. Even if the answer is to make monkey copies of the life support systems and treat them with the same reverence as those inside the walker hull, it's still a way around the problem.

 

Also, this is as good a point as any to bring up the point that every Exonerator has to live with possible complications from MIU systems. There's a very simplistic one installed in each of their skulls upon the implantation of the black carapce, allowing them to interface with their targetter systems. I'm going to be trying to reflect this fact in their modeling by having all helmeted Brothers possess some form of targetting array, all bolters with optics of some kind, and the bare-headed Brothers all possessing obvious cybernetics.

 

Throw in a reference to the Catalespean Node. That's going to be critical to the half-asleep state, and I think you might not be able to work it if the candidate had their destroyed, or couldn't be implanted with a new one.

 

We're in luck there.

 

The Exonerators don't have any problems with their Catalepsian nodes, and that was the way I plan on taking my eventual expansion of that topic within the writeup itself. A combined regimen of semi-smart chemical injectors, deep psycho-doctrination, and the lifelong conditioning of the Marines to expect to one day serve within the shell of a machine should combine nicely to give us a way to sidestep that problem.

 

Eventually, the psychosis sets in. It's just held off by deep meditation techniques, resting when possible, and the attitude of those entombed.

 

If you are, so am I.

 

Weren't you the one who brought up feedback loops?

 

It's not too super, but it's definitely heresy. That crosses the boundaries of caution regarding no pure A.I., and is certainly tech-heresy. If you want this to stay in, you'd have to alter your relations to the Mechanicus so they are a slightly shadier side of the AdMech. Still mainstream, but not the organisation as a whole.

 

Would it really be AI, though?

 

To my mind, it's more like having incredibly powerful servitors who were never mindwiped, or a Magos who has given up all pretense of having a body that's even human shaped. The functional core of the machine is still a human brain, sustained by lifesupport, but living and thinking all the same. In fact, it's a lot of human brains that have been given access to additional logics and storage.

 

The other tack that I've got floating around is that the gestalt awareness is a new phenomenon that the Conclave is still discussing, something which would be flatly denied to outsiders and not shared with anyone. I'm probably going to keep that part of it no matter what else I decide about the functional aspects, since outsiders might get touchy about knowing that the Exonerators prefer to live as cyborgs rather than die as men.

 

Technology or heresy-wise, no problems. However, the Machine Spirits don't seem to take kindly to being bandied around, which is why they are dedicated as a Rhino or (if suitable) a particular variant. I'm afraid the lack of technological understanding is going to foil this one.

 

On the one hand, I would love to keep the modifications because I think they'd look amazing and set my army apart on the table in yet another way. However, having costed out the parts that I would need to order from bits vendors in order to do all of the conversion on every Rhino-based hull in my 2000-point lists... Let's say that the more frugal side of me is warring with the artistic urges.

 

I see your point about the Machine Spirits, though. It's probably weird enough for the poor things to have entombed Exonerators communing with them on a regular basis.

[Apothete]

Disclaimer: I have a looser view of canon than some.

 

Noted. I'm a bit strange, myself.

 

As far as I understand, it this is how many of these vehicles were initially created (from the Rhino chassis), however, the modifications to be made for a vindicator, for example, might be too extensive too allow for modularity. A whirlwind or predator to razorback or even Rhino on the other hand, might be easier. Attachments for fitting these modules may take up extra (fictional) room... or maybe not. (BTW: The silly door on top allows a couple of your passengers to shoot, which can make a huge difference.)

 

See, my original thought was that it would basically be something between having an Unyielding Pattern So-and-So (which is obviously the designation for their forgeship's templates) and the logical extension of STC's intended purpose. On the surface of the designs, the front plates of Rhinos and Vindicators are meant to be interchangable or else you wouldn't be using the same chassis in the first place. However, my main misgivings were both the elements of finding a boundary line for what would be considered tech-heresy and deciding just how much of a modification the interiors would require. I'm not entirely sure that it's within current Imperial capability to manufacture a modular powerplant and firing system for a Vindicator that could be slotted into the empty troop bay of a Rhino. Likewise the turret motors, ammo feeder systems or batteries/capacitors, and control elements for the Predator main guns and sponsons, or the fire control and power for the Whirlwind...

 

The goal was to have simplified their manufacturing needs, producing a single hull rather than the basic components for one and modification parts for the rest. Their emphasis on mechanized assault practically demands that the Chapter be able to get a lot of these things on the ground and it would be easier if there were fewer necessary production lines.

 

Plus, I think it would look cool.

 

All of that aside, I do think that it's entirely likely that you might have to settle for dedicated designs because the motors for the Predator turret go in a different place than the ones for the Whirlwind (look at their turret placement), which just so happens to be right in the way of the exhausts for a Vindicator. A single unified design that solves all of those issues might be just a touch too super.

 

While Mars may make a big noise about such things, they don't seem to exert the same sort (not saying less, just different) of influence as the Ecclesiarchy and it is often their own trained "clergy" which make these field modifications, such as the Ares pattern Land Raider et cetera.

 

I'm actually planning on building an Ares or two at some distant point in the future, since they so perfectly fit with the doctrines of my Chapter.

 

You'll know you've crossed the line, if your Rhinos start morphing into Dreadnoughts.

 

Don't give me ideas.

 

I've seen the Trukk to Deff Dread transformer that someone built.

 

Hmmm... you (GMT) are saying that the machine spirit wouldn't put up with it? What if the machine spirit were tied into the module? Then it wouldn't know any different.

 

I'll let Tyrak answer that one.

[Grand Master Tyrak]

Of course there is this take on it too: If everyone is buying Land Raider Crusaders, the AdMech will lavish it with blessings, while GW gets your buck (and mine.) If everyone is buying magnets to save money on large numbers of vehicles... they may take offense, but might not want scare off business either. This is pure speculation, of course, and clearly not based on canon.)

 

But is canon based on it? :P

 

The commander of an Astartes starship may be hooked in by means that can be removed and theoretically allow him to fight on his feet, but I've always felt that its likely that the trip is as one-way as moving to the moon would be in a Heinlein novel

 

To my mind hooking an Astartes up to a ship on a permanent basis is a big waste. Meh, I guess it's just a grey area, I doubt we're ever going to get an answer either way.

 

Would it really be AI, though?

 

Not really, but it's close enough to start alarm bells ringing.

 

Hmmm... you (GMT) are saying that the machine spirit wouldn't put up with it? What if the machine spirit were tied into the module?

 

It is tied into the module, which is the Rhino. There isn't anything 'below' the Rhino chassis in the STC chain. Then again, as you pointed out, it may have just been put in to faciliate sales in the real world.

[Apothete]

But is canon based on it?

 

No, but I hear that cannons can be.

 

To my mind hooking an Astartes up to a ship on a permanent basis is a big waste. Meh, I guess it's just a grey area, I doubt we're ever going to get an answer either way.

 

I could see how permanently attaching a Marine to a fixed system would seem like a waste of their physical abilities, but what if it's a way to circumvent the fact that there are only so many Dreadnoughts to go around? They would have superior learning and warfighting capabilities compared to simple servitors or even the best of the serfs, combined with their ability to remain in suspended animation for extended periods of time. A ship crewed by the interred former Marines would likely need only a minimal physical presence, allowing more power to be diverted to critical systems rather than maintaining life support on a huge scale.

 

Keep the Brothers mentally sharp for as long as possible, then allow their gradually detaching minds to become extremely powerful biological computers that would put even the best servitor to shame. The idea isn't even all that contradictory to the view that a Mechanicus-influenced Chapter might hold, since it would lead to inevitable unity with the Machine and unending service to the Emperor. Perhaps the more spiritual aspect is that a Brother's fading humanity is the sign of his soul going to join the Emperor while what's left does a more temporal duty.

 

In any case, I can't help but look at the Forgeworld Land Speeder Tempest and think that the cockpit looks a lot like a sarcophagus, which is tempting me to try my hand at kitbashing or scratchbuilding one of my own.

 

Not really, but it's close enough to start alarm bells ringing.

 

Now I suppose I need to decide whether I want to pursue a gestalt-consciousness angle, especially since the only example I've seen so far in the 40k universe stems from Dark Adeptus, which I read after writing up the current version of the Chapter.

 

I know that you're not a big fan of the way that the Grey Knights were handled in any of their Black Library appearances, but do we as a community think that the Dark Mechanicus would be the only ones to make use of something like linked minds? If so, what bearing does that have on the way that the Exonerators modify all of their novices upon graduation to the Scout Company so that they are always able to speak to their brethren over the vox network if they wish? Some might say that communion on demand is a step on the path to seeking a unified mind, and it might be possible to develop things in that direction. I'm not sure how to tie that in with the Gethesmene/Polypsykana angle that I'm working in their doctrines, though.

 

---

 

As a side note, I've been reading a lot of material on painting and color theory lately. While I love the color scheme that I finally ended up settling on, I've seen several sources who say that dark purple and black don't work well together on the scale that we're all familiar with.

 

Which would probably work better from a modeling standpoint?

 

http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/smbeta/bpe=5200B0&bpj=000000&bp=5200B0&bpc=000000&hdt=5200B0&hdm=5200B0&hdl=5200B0&ey=FFE600&er=5200B0&pi=000000&nk=5200B0&ch=5200B0&eg=D1D1D1&sk=000000&abs=5200B0&bt=000000&cod=5200B0&ull=5200B0&lk=000000&lll=5200B0&lft=5200B0&url=5200B0&rk=000000&lrl=5200B0&rft=5200B0&slt=000000&sli=5200B0&srt=000000&sri=5200B0&ula=5200B0&lel=000000&lla=5200B0&lw=5200B0&lh=5200B0&ura=5200B0&rel=000000&rla=5200B0&rw=5200B0&rh=5200B0&bg=FFFFFF&rb=000000&gr=D1D1D1&wg=true&be=000000&loin=000000&mk8=true&blt=000000&/spacemarine.jpg

 

This is the current pattern, which maintains a more dark and ominous feel.

 

http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/smbeta/bpe=370075&bpj=370075&bp=370075&bpc=BDBDBD&hdt=370075&hdm=370075&hdl=370075&ey=1BE600&er=370075&pi=370075&nk=370075&ch=370075&eg=D1D1D1&sk=D1D1D1&abs=370075&bt=370075&cod=370075&ull=370075&lk=BDBDBD&lll=370075&lft=370075&url=370075&rk=BDBDBD&lrl=370075&rft=370075&slt=370075&sli=BDBDBD&srt=370075&sri=BDBDBD&ula=BDBDBD&lel=BDBDBD&lla=BDBDBD&lw=BDBDBD&lh=BDBDBD&ura=BDBDBD&rel=BDBDBD&rla=BDBDBD&rw=BDBDBD&rh=BDBDBD&bg=FFFFFF&rb=000000&gr=BDBDBD&wg=true&be=Bdbdbd&loin=ffffff&mk8=true&blt=000000&/spacemarine.jpg

 

I tried it with a metallic or silvery cast to the shoulders and arms as an homage to Ferrus Manus, then touched the same color at knees and the crown of the pack to break up the purple somewhat. This isn't really my favorite of the three, aside from the symbolism of having their arms run that kind of shade all the way from fingers to pauldron.

 

http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/smbeta/bpe=370075&bpj=370075&bp=370075&bpc=370075&hdt=370075&hdm=370075&hdl=370075&ey=1BE600&er=370075&pi=370075&nk=370075&ch=370075&eg=D1D1D1&sk=D1D1D1&abs=370075&bt=370075&cod=370075&ull=370075&lk=370075&lll=370075&lft=370075&url=370075&rk=370075&lrl=370075&rft=370075&slt=BDBDBD&sli=370075&srt=BDBDBD&sri=370075&ula=BDBDBD&lel=BDBDBD&lla=BDBDBD&lw=BDBDBD&lh=BDBDBD&ura=BDBDBD&rel=BDBDBD&rla=BDBDBD&rw=BDBDBD&rh=BDBDBD&bg=FFFFFF&rb=000000&gr=BDBDBD&wg=true&be=BDBDBD&loin=bdbdbd&mk8=true&blt=000000&/spacemarine.jpg

 

This is a recolor of the purple to a darker shade, offset with silver trim and metallic arms to maintain the same symbolism as the previous scheme. It's probably the simplest overall scheme because it only requires three shades, which are then highlighted as appropriate. There's also the minor point that it also requires less detail work than the original one did, but that's not necessarily going to be the deciding factor. I'm in no rush to finish the army.