IA: Exonerators

[Ace Debonair]

The way I dealt with this in my Rift Lords was to devise a key point in their early history, divide the origins section into two parts, and put them either side of the big event.

 

One of the current pitfalls is that the Chapter as it stands does fall on two sides, but I have two major events, making it four sides. I think...

 

Basically, the defining moments in their history are the fall, bequest, and rebirth of the Chapter and then the moment when Talo and the Conclave decide to do whatever is necessary to improve the Imperium, and oh-so-coincidentally, their pool of recruits. I realize that having four viewpoints is probably something akin to drinking quad espresso.

But if you were to save the old-chapter-afterlife-manipulation stuff for another chapter, that would give you only the the one major event to write on either side of. ;)

 

That said, even if you don't scrap the 'old chapter' angle, I'd give the highlighted bit it's own section anyhow. It seems, from the outsider's point of view, the ideal place for a fancy half-header and the proclomation of a new section. :devil:

 

I was suspicious, but I tried it. And lo, it was better. Much better, in fact. The simpler you make things, the more focus there is for what you're most concerned about.

 

See, the lesson I take from that story is that your article got better because you cut down the influence of Lion El'Jonson.

Then perhaps you should do the same?

 

...Which, admittedly, would require some kind of Zen. :)

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

But if you were to save the old-chapter-afterlife-manipulation stuff for another chapter, that would give you only the the one major event to write on either side of. :D

 

This I agree with.

 

Then perhaps you should do the same?

 

Less Lion El'Jonson is always a good thing and beneficial for all.

[Apothete]

I don't like to mention this often, but compared to me Octavulg is more Arm Pitt than Brad Pitt.

 

Ah, so he's functional, not getting paid more than he's worth, and usually somewhat hairy and a need of a good cleaning.

 

For the other points, stylistically I disagree but you answer my objections in a way I cannot refute.. Damn you!

 

Octavulg is a devastatingly handsome beakie Marine who can't look down, I'm an angry magnagrappling dreadnought with a flamestorm cannon.

 

Together, we fight crime.

 

That said, even if you don't scrap the 'old chapter' angle, I'd give the highlighted bit it's own section anyhow. It seems, from the outsider's point of view, the ideal place for a fancy half-header and the proclomation of a new section. ^_^

 

I'm leaning more and more towards eliminating two elements for later use in another project.

 

It's painful and I hate doing it, but I'm likely going to scrap the enormous fortress ship and the phoenix-rebirth angle to be redone in a Chapter aimed more at exploring posmortem puppetry. This is requiring some rethinking of how the Chapter prosecutes a war and how they're organized, but I think it just might work out in the end.

 

Then perhaps you should do the same?

 

...Which, admittedly, would require some kind of Zen. :lol:

 

That was Zen. Those are Tau.

 

Less Lion El'Jonson is always a good thing and beneficial for all.

 

Well, duh.

 

Less Lion means more room for us to pay attention to proper Primarchs like Rogal Dorn, Ferrus Manus, and Wolf McMeadwolf.