++IA: Blazing Sons++

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

The Blazing Sons.

"The highest form of generalship is to disrupt the enemies plans, the next best is to prevent the junction of the enemies forces, the next in order is to attack the enemies army in the field, and the worst policy of all is to besiege walled cities."

-Shield Captain Paran

Origins.

The Blazing Sons were brought into being during the eleventh great founding of the Adeptus Astartes. The Sons were but one of many chapters created during the founding. The Sons had been tasked with improving the stability of the border systems between Segmentum Ultima and Tempestus. Larger and more expansive conflicts well inside the Segmentum's borders drew many forces away from where they were holding a delicate balance, throwing countless more worlds into danger. Their recruits were drawn and wargear issued and, due to their projected relative close proximity to Nocturne and it's surrounding zone of control a training cadre was drawn from the Salamanders chapter.

Captain K'rul of the Salamanders third company was chosen for the honour of teaching this new chapter the ways of war. Given that the Salamanders are very close to the people of Nocturne, this influenced K'rul's setting of the fledgling chapters first task; to find a Homeworld.

The March.

K'rul and his cadre were proved to be good teachers. Never providing their charges with answers but rather pushing them to make their own decisions, for good or ill. During their time dubbed 'the march' in the chapters history the chapter participated in some minor conflicts here and there, never staying long enough to become entrenched but just long enough to gain some experience of the ways of war first hand. Eventually the march brought the Sons to the Firkan system. A cool yellow star circled by nine celestial bodies. Consulting what records they possessed K'rul determined one world of significance, Firaxis. The two largest planets in the system were closest to the sun and had been ravaged by their prolonged exposure to what could only be fierce solar radiation.

Very little life was found on any of the worlds inside Firkan. Natural disasters, celestial catastrophies and other unknown factors having stripped almost every planet of all but it's most basic of ecosystems. It seemed pointless and the chapter again prepared to resume the march, however K'rul councilled patience and encouraged the Sons to continue to explore. The Salamanders' patience paid off when the scouts returned with word of life on the eighth planet. Upon the arrival of the chapter however, the celebration was proved premature. The world was in the throes of a catastrophic civil war and from all that could be ascertained from orbit, thousands were dying every day.

Plague.

The Sons scouts quietly and began to observe the conflict and the people below. K'rul had councilled against hasty action. The people on this world would potentially be the future generations of the chapter and they must act accordingly, weighing every action for it's worth and consequence. It was discovered, through subtle means that the war was far from civil in origin. In truth the assailants of the people were in fact servants of the ruinous powers, the plaguebearers and walking dead damning them from the moment they were spotted. The chapter was up in arms, to cleanse the world was a great honour but again K'rul councilled them against hasty action. Clearly the inhabitants were fighting these wayward of their brethren and was this not proof enough of their suitability to be their future? The debate was settled temporarily with the Salamanders retelling of the early days of the Heresy. They all had brothers who had turned against them and the forces of chaos below needed to be destroyed regardless.

Settled, the chapter descended to the world in full, not to scour the living but to purge the daemon and the heretic. The world was only just barely post-black-powder and the arrival of the impervious leviathons that were the Blazing Sons served as a shock neither side expected. The hordes of walking dead were swept from the Clan-cities, the houses warriors rescued from certain ahnnihilation by what appeared to be gods walking among them. The plagued horde was cut down en masse, though their priests were far from done. Hideous sacrifices were made among terrible incantations, opening a weeping tear in the fabric of reality, allowing more of the Plague God's minions to emerge forth. The Blazing Sons momentum began to slow against the unholy presence of the daemons.

K'rul and his cadre of Firedrakes chose this moment to strike, teleporting directly into the heart of the horde to cut it's foul heart asunder. The dead and daemons faltered, torn between the enemy in front and the ones now behind them, allowing the Sons to renew their assault. The Priests were turned into living pyres within seconds of the cadres insertion, flames billowing out into the now encroaching mass. The Rent began to close, though at a cost. Hammers swung, bolters barked and blades flashed but still the veteran astartes were inorexably dragged down. Thunderhawk Gunships continuously drove great rents into the mass of seething men, dead and what daemons remained, seeking to keep their mentors alive.

Eventually the Sons, driven by rightious fury managed to gut the heretics and plough through to the center, where they prayed their mentors still stood. Battered and bloodied K'rul and his Firedrakes were pulled from the jaws of death by their own students and even though many of their brothers had fallen, the Salamanders were proud. Without their dread priests the Daemons unravelled by the score, the dead dropping where they stood, returned again to restful slumber. The insane tribesmen were however relentless and so consigned themselves to the slaughter, not a man woman nor child of the clan remained by the setting of the sun that day.

The Aftermath

The world was saved, but at a heavy cost. The Blazing Sons gathered, dark considerations of more death were put forth. Given only a small portion of the worlds people had succumbed to the lure of chaos, it was enough to damn them, if the chapter believed them to be a risk. The senior members of the chapter argued back and forth and though none wanted to see the world scoured of life, it had to be accepted as a possible consequence. K'rul and his cadre merely watched and listened, denying any offers to speak and provide council. This, he said, was a decision only they could make.Eventually, after much deliberation the Sons decided to spare the world, for the time being. They would watch and wait, and prayed they would never have to move against what would be their own people.

Firaxis

Firaxis is a small, cold world. Alone in a system of dead worlds partly a product of the Great Crusade. Firaxis had been liberated millennia ago from it's dark age, taught to revere the Emperors vision for at that time they had naught else. When the Horus Heresy split the Imperium in two Firaxis was quickly abandoned, having little strategic importance or resources to speak of. And so again warfare spilled out across the worlds surface as clan fought tribe in a series of bloody religious wars. A thousand years later a localised Imperialistic cult had gained control and wiped out all other incarnations of worship bar their own. At the turn of what was elsewhere the 33rd millennium a new age of strife threaned the people of Firaxis on a scale not seen before. As armies marched and wars were waged a new faith grew from the soldiers themselves. In searching for meaning in the unceasing warfare the men formed their own views, their own beliefs which soon spread like wildfire. The cult took the symbol of the sun as it's own, identifying with both the life-giving properties and firey retribution evidenced dry seasons bushfires. Tenets of humility in duty and service were instituted, faith in the distant Emperor, the Sun being seen as his protection over their world, fire his wrath.

During the invasion of the Nurgle cultists the relatively new cult was swelled by soldiers sent to the front, desperately seeking to make sense of the rising dead, of the plague and the nightmarish daemons that so destroyed them. Regiments each had a Sun Warrior Priest in their midst, turning some units completely into the cults own order militant.

When the Blazing Sons arrived the firey contrails of their drop-pods and thunderhawks were heralded as the Emperors will come to save them, the priests proving to be uncannily astute in their predictions. Rapture overtook their devotees as the souless horde was driven back, literally falling at the feet of their liberators in thanks. This reception served to make the Blazing Sons feel welcome, obliterating any doubts they may have had and far exceeding their expectation of fear reticence. The Promethian cult which their Salamander mentors had been teaching to the Sons was almost a perfect fit for the Orders teachings, K'rul encouraging their merge after pouring over the cults literature. The Chapter was accepted by the people of Firaxis with an almost unheard of celebration, headed by the jubilant Order of the Sun.

The Order and the Sons.

The Order of the Sun was quickly subsumed into the chapter, becoming their heralds and law-keepers on Firaxis. They both watch the clans, cities and tribes for signs of betrayal and tend to their peoples faith. The priests of the order are first and foremost warriors, their order militant is the most highly trained, equipped and motivated force on the planet. Their armour is forged from materials and practices passed down by the chapter itself. The Order maintains the Chapters holdings on Firaxis, and their outposts on the other barren worlds of the Firkan system and their ships, taking the role of the serfs of other chapters. However, the warriors of the Order are held in high regard by their masters, something uncommon among the Astartes.

The Order is trusted implicitly by the Blazing Sons, even going so far as to allow them to help slect recruits for the chapter. Accompanied by a member of the reclusiam the high priests of the Order visit each of the houses, clans and tribes on Firaxis to gather the new blood needed for the chapters survival. It is an honour not taken lightly, the responsibility enough to make men less sure of their own judgement to abdicate their position as High Priest than allow themselves to make an error. The Orders scholars tutor the chapters aspirants in theology, philosophy and warfare to be used their later Astartes instructors to promote lateral thinking, while the chapter chaplains turn theological knowledge into total devotion to the Sun Cult.

All in all, the Order, as armed and armoured by the chapter in both weapons and faith are a force to be reckoned with by any seeking to encroach on the Blazing Sons home.

Tactical Doctrine.

The Blazing Sons tactical doctrine has been shaped by both their homeworlds people and their own observations of warfare. The infantryman is the core of the Astartes itself. The Sons believe in the use of fast moving infantry formations, moving from one engagement to the next unburdoned by heavy vehicles or slow, entrenched warfare. They decry siege warfare as a commanders failure to defeat the enemy on the field of battle. If a siege is forced upon the Sons they will seek to infiltrate and sabotage the enemy defences rather than assault them, often breaking sieges simply through the destruction of key emplacements, stores and control centers, allowing them to move freely about the city. Alternative routes are praised in the Sons appraisal of warfare, seeking to disrupt the enemy is always foremost in their minds.

Heavy use is made of thunderhawk gunships, drop pods and rhinos to keep their men moving, Razorbacks and accompanying Devestator squads commonly taking the place of fire-support vehicles. Along with the use of jump-pack equipped infantry and Landspeeders the chapter is almost devoid of any heavy vehicles at all, possessing only five Vindicators, eight Whirlwinds and four Predators in total. While infiltration is used as necessary by the Sons, frontline warfare is their preferred arena, shining to their fullest when allowed a broad area of operation to deploy their forces. That said, they will use virtually whatever weapons and tactics at their disposal to be assured of victory.

Personality.

The Blazing Sons are a product of both the tempered beliefs of the Salamanders Chapter and the firey faith of their homeworld. They consider their people, and all the people of the Imperium as it's lifeblood and as such are a precious resource to be defended and have mirrored the Salamanders acts of Armageddon in numerous conflicts to date. However their love for humanity is tempered by a furious intolerance of heresy. Any evidence of entreating with dark powers of any sort, xenos, daemon or otherwise are not kindly looked upon and are harshly dealt with. Those proved to have turned from the Emperors guiding light are swiftly put to the sword. As such the Sons are commonly involved in the persuit and persecution of renegade Astartes and Imperial Guard regiments who have betrayed their oaths to Him on earth. Their tendancy to scrutinise their allies has threatened to dissolve more than one campaign and is often the cause for friction between the Sons and other chapters.

The Sons do not suffer fools and have deposed or executed many Governors and generals in the course of their history who they have found to be incompetant, willfully ignorant, arrogant or otheriwse incapable of properly dealing with the responsibilities assigned to them to best serve the Emperor.

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What is to follow:

I am in the process of finishing up the Organisation section and am trying to pin down some 'famous battles' for sidebars or box-outs, along with a colour scheme. The reason I posted this now in its current form is that what is left is not particuarly pertinent to the chapter as a whole.

I would really appreciate some C&C on this as I want to know if anything I could be fleshing out or persuing is based on a shakey or bad premise.

ANY comments on how to improve any of this piece, or as a whole are welcomed and indeed fantastically appreciated!!

Thanks.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

Well, a week on Liber and not one comment, yet plenty of views. How deppressing.

 

This either means its perfect (which it isn't) or it is uninteresting.

 

Shameless bump.

[Donkey Kong]

Not at all, GHY. I've just been neck deep in A Tale of Two Cities boring piece that it is. I'm ashamed to say that a book like that managed to drag me away from responding here, but I will now.

 

The Origin seems fine. The part of becoming attached to a world like the Salamanders is all and well in theory, but the way you wrote it with Firaxis it seems almost like they're taking it as an obligation. It's fine to take an obligation to a world that you have an attachment to, but your chapter just seems to jump on Faraxis. Cleansing the world of Daemons - good. Being aware of the situation and what can happen should the word ever spread - good. Taking immediately to it because they liberated it.

 

Perhaps if you had your marines fighting alongside the men on Faraxis for an extended period of time, a respect could develop along with a need to protect. But a real time isn't established or I haven't noticed it.

 

Next, you say that the Chapter keeps an eye on the world. How so? The marines need to be at the front, keeping some marines behind where there isn't even a Fortress Monastery yet seems like a waste of a ship. And if the marine is on the world then that's all well and good, but how many? A combat squad? A Librarian, Chaplain, Veteran Sergeant? If you give a reason for the obligation then it could happen, until then you have a Chapter who feels a motherly need to defend a world. No offense intended.

 

I understand that your Chapter master hails from a chapter which values human life, but even so, a captain should recognize when another option would be better. Just make a stronger connection. Have communication between the marines and possibly a clan leader.

 

Also, if I missed a reason, I apologize.

 

The Plague, March, and Order of the Son are done well.

 

I'll make another comment when I have time, hopefully this weekend. Once again, GHY you have a pretty solid foundation, it's time to start building.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

Thanks for the comments King, much appreciated.

 

The part of becoming attached to a world like the Salamanders is all and well in theory, but the way you wrote it with Firaxis it seems almost like they're taking it as an obligation....

Perhaps if you had your marines fighting alongside the men on Faraxis for an extended period of time, a respect could develop along with a need to protect. But a real time isn't established or I haven't noticed it.

 

I understand what you mean, and you are right, it is a bit of a fast transition. I'll try to build a bit more length into the entire situation. Luckily the world itself will provide me an out for this, having the surviving cultists retreat into the mountains and prompting a longer campaign than I have otherwise written.

 

Next, you say that the Chapter keeps an eye on the world. How so? The marines need to be at the front, keeping some marines behind where there isn't even a Fortress Monastery yet seems like a waste of a ship.

 

Your quite right. Marines DO need to be at the front. However I am not sure that any chapter with a homeworld would leave it totally unguarded. Hence reserve companies. All there needs to be for their homeworld to be garissoned is to have one Reserve company present, perhaps of marines previously wounded but now recovering, and those who have only recently moved from the scout company.

 

Also the ones keeping the eye on the world are the human members of the Order of the Sun, despite their role as Serfs and suchlike for the chapter they are also, logically, present at home as well. Their now 100% legitimate church, thanks to the intervention of the arrival of the Blazing Sons, means their priests (or warrior priests) have a lot more social standing. With their being virtually a part of the chapter, their ability to place their members in amongst not only the population but the clans, tribes and houses leadership, no matter how powerful gives them the option to watch for signs of heresy or whatnot.

 

The Plague, March, and Order of the Son are done well.

 

Thank you, means a lot! :) Especially after such a rough start.

 

I'll make another comment when I have time, hopefully this weekend. Once again, GHY you have a pretty solid foundation, it's time to start building.

 

I look forward to it.

[Ferrus Manus]

Let me see...

The Sons had been tasked with improving the stability of the border systems between segmentum Ultima and Tempes

Needs a capital.

Given that the Salamanders are very close to the people of Nocturn

I think you've missed the 'e.' I'm sure its spelt with an 'e'? :s

Consulting what records they posessed K'rul determined one world of significance, Firaxis.

Typo

Also, I think 'the march' should have capitals simply because it is a name your chapter has given to a period in their history.

The Salamanders patience paid off when the scouts returned with word of life on the eighth planet.

the houses warriors rescued from certain ahnnihilation by what appeared to be gods walking among them.

were heralded as the Emperors will come to save them

They both watch the clans, cities and tribes for signs of betrayal and tend to their peoples faith.

he Blazing Sons tactical doctrine has been shaped by both their homeworlds people

Needs an apostrophe, you really don't like apostrophes do you? ;). I'm guessing a typo on annihalation.

even going so far as to allow them to help slect recruits for the chapter

Typo

The Blazing Sons are a product of both the tempered beliefs of the Salamanders Chapter and the firey faith of their homeworld

Typo.

 

One last thing, in the speech at the top you've written enemys, it should be enemies.

 

+++++++++++++++

 

All in all I like them, they are an interesting chapter to say the least, its just the IA is riddled with tiny mistakes, I think I got most of them, just check through and keep it water tight. But keep it up. :)

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

Typo

 

Typo

 

Typo

:(

 

Oh you have no idea how much I laughed when I saw all the typos I made. I am usually fairly good at picking up my own mistakes, but this time I seem to have dropped the ball. Dropped it about fifteen times or so!

 

My problem with apostrophies is that I am working on a new computer, with Vista, and whenever I press the apostraphy key it tends to é or Á, you see. I haven't been bothered to look for how to turn it off yet, but I'm getting fairly close to being bothered. It's not a big problem but when you have to backspace every few words, or hit extra keys just to make it work as you intended it gets a little bothersome. But that will not stand in the way of a grammatically correct IA rest assured! ;)

 

I'll get right on those, thanks Ferrus.

[freej]

Mostly it's all grammatical errors, I'll try to point out some that Ferrus missed.

 

The Blazing Sons were brought into being during the eleventh great founding of the Adeptus Astartes. The Sons were but one of many chapters created during the founding. The Sons

 

Repetative, also the sentence in italic is unneeded.

 

Larger and more expansive conflicts well inside the Segmentum's borders drew many forces away from where they were holding a delicate balance, throwing countless more worlds into danger.

 

It would be good to provide the reason for this, I think: what are the conflicts?

 

given that the Salamanders are very close to the people of Nocturne, this influenced K'rul's setting of the fledgling chapters first task; to find a Homeworld.

 

This doesn't run very well. Maybe, Given the Salamanders' history of close comradery with the people of their homeworld, K'rul believed it was of great importance for the fledgling chapter to find a home and a people for themselves.

 

K'rul and his cadre were proven to be good teachers [comma] never providing their...

 

Eventually the march brought the Sons to the Firkan system. A cool yellow star circled by nine celestial bodies... Very little life was found on any of the worlds inside Firkan. Natural disasters, celestial catastrophies and other unknown factors having stripped almost every planet of all but it's most basic of ecosystems.

 

It seems as though you're saying all the planets are rocky bodies that should be able to support an environment/life/etc. It would be extremely rare for a star system to contain nine of such planets. One would expect dwarf planets and gas giants in such a high proportion of planets.

 

It seemed pointless and the chapter again prepared to resume the march, however K'rul councilled patience and encouraged the Sons to continue to explore. The Salamanders' patience paid off when the scouts returned with word of life on the eighth planet. Upon the arrival of the chapter however, the celebration [remove me]was[/remove me] proved premature. The world was in the throes of a catastrophic civil war and from all that could be ascertained from orbit, thousands were dying every day.

 

This also seems strange. They would give up their search so easily? Did they even bother to scan/survey all the planets before deciding to move on? I'm getting the idea that they didn't because they ascertained easily enough (and from orbit might I add) that there were warring civilisations on one of the planets.

 

 

The chapter was up in arms, to cleanse the world was a great honour but again K'rul councilled them against hasty action.

 

Why wouldn't space marines gladly and hastily try to remove a chaotic taint from the galaxy? If you were to elaborate on cleanse to mean wipe all civilisation/human life from the planet (because they feared the tain was absolute) then it would make more sense (just clarify).

 

leviathans

 

the houses warriors rescued from certain ahnnihilation by what appeared to be gods walking among them

 

I don't think this phrase makes any sense.

 

The Blazing Sons' momentum

 

into the heart of the horde to cut it's foul heart asunder.

 

Replace the first "heart" with center (or something else).

 

This, he said, was a decision only they could >>make.Eventually<<

 

Add a space.

 

revere the Emperor's vision

 

ouring over the cult's literature.

 

subsumed

 

I dunno, I just really don't like this word for some reason. Just putting that out there.

 

needed for the chapter's survival

 

The Order's scholars tutor the chapter's aspirants in theology, philosophy and warfare. [remove me]to be used[/remove me] [Further on into their training their] Astartes instructors promote lateral thinking, while the [remove me]chapter[/remove me] chaplains turn theological knowledge into total devotion to the Sun Cult.

 

on the Blazing Sons' home

 

Ok past this point I think I'll just stop pointing out apostrophes, lol.

 

allowing them to move freely about the city.

 

Seiges only happen in cities?

 

...they will use virtually any weapons and tactics at their ...disposal

 

They consider their people, and all the people of the Imperium as it's lifeblood and as such are a precious resource to be defended and have mirrored the Salamanders acts of Armageddon in numerous conflicts to date

 

Sentence needs restructuring. [Yes, I know, so does the sentence I just made!]

 

persuit->pursuit

 

Their tendancy to scrutinise their allies has threatened to dissolve more than one campaign and is often the cause for friction between the Sons and other chapters.

 

Elaborate more. Your idea is to say that since they are often tasked with hunting corrupt/traitor Imperial forces that they have a tendency to scrutinise their allies for any sign of taint, correct? Then explain this; spell it out like I've done.

 

The Sons do not suffer fools and have deposed or executed many Governors and generals in the course of their history who they have found to be incompetant, willfully ignorant, arrogant

 

Hey, hold on there, arrogant? They're going to execute a planetery governer just because he's a jerk!?

 

I hope this helps! Just making sure you don't miss any spelling errors. Also I hope my suggestions help your work flow better. Looking forward to seeing more.

 

EDIT: Oh, hey I remember you! Fellow Aussie who helped me with my first IA. What's up! Hey if you need any art done for your chapter give me a bell, eh. Also, this post is really huge so I'll remove it if/when you don't need it.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

Oh, hey I remember you! Fellow Aussie who helped me with my first IA. What's up!

 

Lots of typos and mismanagement of good Grammar apparently. :verymad:

 

Thanks for the offer on the art, really appreciate it. I actually work through visualisation and tend to more imagine things as scenes from movies or pictures in my mind rather than like pages from a book, to put it simply. It's also why I sometimes tend to screw up writing things. :RTBBB:

 

If you get inspired don't let me stop you, but otherwise I'll try to think of something definitive that can be put up with it. Thanks again freej.

 

Hey, hold on there, arrogant? They're going to execute a planetery governer just because he's a jerk!?

 

Yes, yes they will. :angry:

 

The difference between being jerk and not having any power means that the consequences are fairly limited to that one jerk personally in his little bubble of reality. When your a jerk and you have power the consequences can be a hell of a lot more dire. If this guy considers himself more important than the rest of the population, like a selfish jerk, then he can throw away their lives to save his own. Things like that incense The Sons and it would not be difficult for them to find such evidence against this guy for such a summary verdict, as far as I can imagine anyway.

 

Yes, I probably should have spelled it out. I seem to be falling victim to what I warn other people about, not being able to read my mind and not coming at it from the same perspective as I do. I'll look at what I write a lot more closely now I think.

 

Elaborate more. Your idea is to say that since they are often tasked with hunting corrupt/traitor Imperial forces that they have a tendency to scrutinise their allies for any sign of taint, correct? Then explain this; spell it out like I've done.

 

Will do, again as above.

 

Ok past this point I think I'll just stop pointing out apostrophes, lol.

 

Again with the apostrophes! Either they hate me or I hate them but passively. What a situation.

 

 

Seiges only happen in cities?

 

Not quite sure what your getting at here. Sieges only happen where there is a dug in defensive position. The only places typically which are able to be sieged are fortresses and cities since they are strategically important targets and resources, if they were not they would be abandoned as to have a chunk of your forces unable to move on either side of a potentially fruitless siege is strategically stupid.

 

It seems as though you're saying all the planets are rocky bodies that should be able to support an environment/life/etc. It would be extremely rare for a star system to contain nine of such planets. One would expect dwarf planets and gas giants in such a high proportion of planets.

 

Well not quite, I see what your saying though. I was thinking it was a target for Dark Age of Technology era terraforming, and while there are a couple of gas giants and such, the rest of them which may have been inhospitable Mars type worlds or similar have been wiped out by intercine war during the great catastrophy which led to humanity taking a nose dive from top spot. However, I will again explain it better than I have.

 

This also seems strange. They would give up their search so easily? Did they even bother to scan/survey all the planets before deciding to move on? I'm getting the idea that they didn't because they ascertained easily enough (and from orbit might I add) that there were warring civilisations on one of the planets.

 

I suppose in retropsect it does. However I want to get across that this is a young chapter and that they had already been searching fairly far and wide until now and made a hasty judgement that the system was unusable. Perhaps they wanted another world like Nocturne which was relatively developed ideally. Though I suppose I should explain this too. Lord I didn't realise I was leaving so many blanks. Definetly have to look a lot closer and more objectively at what I'm putting onto paper now.

 

 

Why wouldn't space marines gladly and hastily try to remove a chaotic taint from the galaxy? If you were to elaborate on cleanse to mean wipe all civilisation/human life from the planet (because they feared the tain was absolute) then it would make more sense (just clarify).

 

Thats exactly right, however I have again seemed to have blanked it up yet again. Yes cleansing as in the entire world, rather than simply destroying the chaotic worshipers on the planet.

 

This doesn't run very well. Maybe, Given the Salamanders' history of close comradery with the people of their homeworld, K'rul believed it was of great importance for the fledgling chapter to find a home and a people for themselves.

 

That is MUCH better thanks

[Donkey Kong]

With the planetary governor, doesn't the Chapter Master hold that title?

 

Glad to see that you're embodying the need to protect the "little people" by getting rid of the big men who don't give a rat's ass about anyone but themselves. It personifies them fairly well.

 

With all your real plot edits, the filthy xeno known as the apostrophe and their allies hailing from the land of grammar I'm not counting, it just seems that you need to extend the amount of time that it takes for each event to happen.

 

Hope to see more.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

With the planetary governor, doesn't the Chapter Master hold that title?

 

Forgive me if I've missed something but again I'm slightly confused. Yes the chapter master holds that title and I'm not entirely sure where I have stated otherwise. The Chapter master holds the title, but that does not preclude the rest of the tribes, clans and houses on the planet from continuing with their own internal politics, rivalries and development that has and have been present for thousands of years now.

 

The Chapter Master is the undisputed master of the planet and the chapter. The Tribal households still retain their territory and relative independance and the chapter is granted recruits and a loyal populace through the worlds virtually single religion. Any planetary governors they have a problem with are forign to their world or system and are dealt with accordingly, these are not internal matters.

 

With all your real plot edits, the filthy xeno known as the apostrophe and their allies hailing from the land of grammar I'm not counting, it just seems that you need to extend the amount of time that it takes for each event to happen.

 

:D Thank you brother for the advice regarding the battles to come. I will indeed extend the amount of time taken in the next draft, which may not be terribly different from this one, perhaps just expanded and amended. Time will tell.

 

Glad to see that you're embodying the need to protect the "little people" by getting rid of the big men who don't give a rat's ass about anyone but themselves. It personifies them fairly well.

 

They were tutored by the Salamanders, to date the only truly altruistic force in the Imperium bar the somewhat humanitarian space wolves, they are based almost entirely on a faith which grew from the ground up in the lower ranks of the worlds fighting men, which by and large are not the nobles or those in power. They care because it is an intrinisic part of their belief system and I am glad to see that it comes across, hopefully not to arbitrarily.

 

Thanks again for the comments King.

[freej]

Symbol

 

http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/1949/blazingsonssymbol.gif

 

That's what I got to. I had an imperial eagle added to the top but I didn't like it. Any suggestions?

[Ferrus Manus]

That's really good freej! Maybe, if you really want to incorporate the Aquilla you could use this shield design as the 'body' and have the two wings sprouting from either side?

[Donkey Kong]

Freej that's awesome! My only concern would be that the star has 8 points (chaos). If you could make it 12 (Iron Halo) I think it would be better. But awesome work none the less.

[freej]

Freej that's awesome! My only concern would be that the star has 8 points (chaos). If you could make it 12 (Iron Halo) I think it would be better. But awesome work none the less.

 

I think it's different enough for that not to matter. But if more people agree I'll put some minor points in.

 

I was thinking having the chapter number engraved on the bottom, sticking on some purity seals and maybe some laurels. I'll leave it up to Grey Hunter Ydalir to choose, and whether or not he wants to designate a chapter number.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

It is good isn't it? :)

 

I'm more than pleased. A chapter number? Well thank goodness they are not an early founding, so for me the number I would pick is 1986. Good year that. ;)

 

freej if you want to dress up the symbol with anything else you are more than welcome to. I like the idea of purity symbols and laurels so I say go for it. This is very good stuff and I am going to have to work all the harder to make sure the writing lives up to the artwork!

 

Great to see all this, because it makes me want to get these guys down pat.

 

Thanks again freej

[freej]

http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/1949/blazingsonssymbol.gif

 

Better?

[Octavulg]

There's a thousand Space Marine chapters. Pick a number from 1 to 1000. Except not the first bunch, because those are obviously the original legions and their immediate successors.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

There's a thousand Space Marine chapters. Pick a number from 1 to 1000. Except not the first bunch, because those are obviously the original legions and their immediate successors.

 

Well personally I am of the belief that there would be more than a thousand. One thousand chapters is not set in stone and even several thousand chapters would still give you the same citizen-to-marine ratio that is given by the source books. Also they never say how many there are, only that there are "rumoured to be about 1000 chapters". This includes the thousand-year spanning beaurocratic procedure of the Adeptus Terra and the errors in the records. The sheer impossibility of keeping track with such old organisations as space marine chapters in a government such as the Imperium makes record keeping rather hard.

 

Also given that GW expected players to create their own chapters, and the popularity of the series you can extrapolate that due to meta-game influences there really should be more than 1000 chapters anyway. Not only that but would they simply reset the numbers every time a chapter fell? Would the 54th chapter be replaced by another and given their number to sit in the roster? I doubt it, I would think that they would be given the next number on. Really I don't see 1986 as a chapter number as that much of a stretch.

 

But I digress. I suppose I can settle for 86 if I really have to. :P

 

What I'm getting at is that the number of 1000 chapters is far from set in stone.

 

 

And freej that looks fantastic. Excellent work! Actually makes me excited to work on the IA itself when I have stuff like this to keep me going. :lol:

[Octavulg]

The Star Scorpions died.

 

The Mentor Legion got their number and heraldry and replaced them.

 

You are incorrect.

 

I'd go with 986, myself. They are a recent chapter.

 

And while the number is far from set in stone, it's also not likely to be too far from that. Attrition and the fact that they do have at least some records would account for that.

[Zaro]

The Sons scouts quietly and began to observe the conflict and the people below.

 

Seems to be missing a word or two. I like the overall feel of the IA, look forward to reading more.

 

-Zaro

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

Seems to be missing a word or two. I like the overall feel of the IA, look forward to reading more.

 

Thanks Zaro. It's either latent dyslexia or pure over-excitement in trying to get what I have in my head onto the page. Mostly I work from notes, but as I re-read my notes I reconstruct most of what I have already written and make changes as I re-evaluate it on the fly. Sometimes it works really well and this IA is mostly a good example of that. Sometimes it doesen't and these typos are a really good example, inside the good one ironically, of where it can go wrong.

 

 

Generally you are right Octavulg, but I would say that given this is both a fantasy universe and 40k no less, that there is room for space to move either side of the commonly accepted measure of anything to do with the universe, let alone the number of chapters in existence or that have existed.

 

1986 chapter may well be a little over the mark but I don't really think it's that far off, or that it is out of bounds to mark it as such. Remember your dealing with a universe where virtually nothing is cast in black and white, everything exists in it's own grey area in what is essentially a universe cast in that same shade. The only real reason my knee jerk reaction was to dispute your interpretation is that the way you worded your posts is very confrontational for what is essentially your own interpretation of the information on hand, no matter how popular or widely accepted such a view is.

 

There's a thousand Space Marine chapters. Pick a number from 1 to 1000. Except not the first bunch, because those are obviously the original legions and their immediate successors.

 

You are incorrect.

 

-

 

And while the number is far from set in stone, it's also not likely to be too far from that.

 

Personally I don't see that it's set in stone anywhere near the mark. And you gave one single example to back up your argument. If that is how you interpret the data then thats great, but don't expect me to poscribe to the same view just because you think that you are correct based on how you view the material previously given by GW (which also goes without saying that they constantly re-write their own history regularly).

 

I'd go with 986, myself. They are a recent chapter.

 

I don't know, perhaps. 11th founding isn't very recent considering there have been another 14 foundings between then and the current date. It's something I'll have to think about. I picked 1986 because firstly it's the year I was born (if you geussed that you get an e-cookie.... made of metal and shot from a bolter :P ), the reason I picked that is because this is the most complete chapter that I have ever been inspired to create and have put a fair amount of effort into it by this stage, going through the story and over and over re-editing them. Again, it's something I'll have to think on.

 

To everyone who helped I am sorry I haven't updated this sooner but I have had trouble getting to the computer as much as I would have liked and lifes been in general a little off kilter lately. That said I am still reviewing this IA in my head whenever I think of it and have a few pages of notes to go through, mostly ancillary pieces that aren't part of the main body but things that I want to have ready to add as soon as my critics give me a pass on what I have.

 

Don't mark this as dead or dropped like the last two IA's I've done, because it isn't. It's just coming along more slowly than I had anticipated.

 

Life's interesting isn't it? :D

[Fire Lord Captain]

What does the latin say at the bottom of the symbol? Is it Order of the Blazing Suns? If so the chapter is called Blazing SONS. Ignore me if it is correct tho :(

 

Also in the Plague section it states "The Rent began to close," should that say "The rend began to close,"? Again ignore me if i have missed a point there.

 

But hey good IA!!

[Octavulg]

1986 chapter may well be a little over the mark but I don't really think it's that far off, or that it is out of bounds to mark it as such.

 

It's pushing double the number we're told exist.

 

Personally I don't see that it's set in stone anywhere near the mark. And you gave one single example to back up your argument.

 

While you have "stuff is vague."

 

They say there's a thousand marine chapters in pretty much every Marine codex ever published, many of the rulebooks, and sometimes twice. Furthermore, there's an example of them re-using numbers (and color schemes, interestingly). There's also no example of them not doing so - no "the chapter's number was retired" sort of thing.

 

Countering this with "stuff is vague" and "it's all individual interpretation" is neither convincing nor well-thought-out.

 

Could do #689-1 (either they're the first chapter to hold that designation, or the second (the first would then be 689-0).

 

Makes sense for an eleventh founding chapter. Just add a line about how they were given the livery and number of the destroyed Space Monkeys (or Star Gorillas, Astral Orangutans, whatever). That way all you're doing is making claims about Imperial filing. ;) Gives 'em a bit of history.

 

And I could have sworn they weren't eleventh founding when I made that comment. :P

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

While you have "stuff is vague."

 

It's true, I don't dispute what your saying has a higher degree of logic running the show, that it is more thought through and reasoned in its approach. The only thing I object to is what is in essence a blocking statement, an un-wavering commital to either true or false, one way or the other answer that simply doesen't work for a fantasy universe. That's all. If you had gone about venturing your opinion in a different manner I doubt I would have disputed anything at all, it was merely the way it was put across that put my back up.

 

Could do #689-1 (either they're the first chapter to hold that designation, or the second (the first would then be 689-0).

 

That actually sounds good, despite the mish-mashery of my own lovely year it feels good to use, for now in any case.

 

Makes sense for an eleventh founding chapter. Just add a line about how they were given the livery and number of the destroyed Space Monkeys (or Star Gorillas, Astral Orangutans, whatever). That way all you're doing is making claims about Imperial filing. Gives 'em a bit of history.

 

I might, I don't know. It does present some interesting opportunities for more development, but I'm not sure if I want to have them taking on the mantle of another chapter, it's something I'd have to think on. Something I will probably think on very soon, given that I have a free-day tomorrow. Might even get some work done on the chapter!

 

And I could have sworn they weren't eleventh founding when I made that comment. :D

 

The interwebs doth lie to you! They work to confuse your mind! The Interweb is the work of the Eldar, or Tzeentch, or something... I'm sure of it. ^_^

[Ferrus Manus]

If you wanted have a significant number (to you anyway) you could just divide the year of your birth, e.g 1986/3= 662. Less obvious, more fluffy and it has some significance to you.