IA: The White Hand

[Ecritter]

Okay I've searched rules and did a lot of thinking. The end result is I've come up with the following compromise to my original idea. Let me know what you think.

 

Special Rules

 

Continuous Advance: As a White Hand Unit prepares to move, measure the distance to the nearest Enemy Unit. The Unit must end its move closer to any Enemy Unit then it began. Units not moving during the Turn Phase are not affected by this rule.

 

Sturdy: White Hand units roll 3D6 for Leadership Tests, only the lower 2 die are used. White Hand marines are a uncompromising lot and its near impossible to break their spirits.

 

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I think I'm done now, how do I get them in the Honouros Liber Index or do I?

[Ecritter]

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c162/ecritter/Space%20Marines/tabun.png

Grand Master Tobun

Leader of the Order of the White Hand
Commander of the White Hand Chapter
Defender of the Word

Grand Master Tobun is the present Leader of the Order of the White Hand and White Hand Chapter of the Space Marines. He carries the honorific title of Defender of the Word as it is his responsibility overall to defend the Chapter from impurity in any way. He has led the White Hand Chaper for over 50 years through very difficult times, including the complete loss of the 4th Company.

Each Grand Master secretly chooses his successor from the members of the Masters. When the old incumbent dies, his choice is ceremonially presented with the Axe of the Fallen, a potent icon for the White Hands.

Chapter Master

Grand Master Tobun

6

5

4

4

4

5

4

10

3+

Grand Master Tobun..........175 points

Infantry

1 Chapter Master

Power Armor Axe of the Fallen Bolt Pistol Frag and Krak Grenades Iron Halo

And They Shall Know No Fear Continuous Advance Sturdy Inspiring Presence Independent Character Orbital Bombardment

Rhino

SPECIAL RULES

Sturdy: White Hand units roll 3D6 for Leadership Tests, only the lower 2 die are used. White Hand marines are a uncompromising lot and its near impossible to break their spirits.

Inspiring Presence: All friendly units within 12' of Grand Master Tobun receive +1 Attack whilst he lives. This bonus does not apply to Tobun, and does not stack with the similar bonus from a Chapter Banner.

Continuous Advance: As a White Hand Unit prepares to move, measure the distance to the nearest Enemy Unit. The Unit must end its move closer to any Enemy Unit then it began. Units not moving during the Turn Phase are not affected by this rule.

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c162/ecritter/Space%20Marines/TobunsAxe.png

WARGEAR

Axe of the Fallen: This ancient and venerated battle-axe is a master-crafted relic blade. If Tobun wishes, he can attempt a single 'coup de grace' attack in lieu of his normal close combat attacks. If the coup de grace hits, it is resolved at a Strength of 6 and causes instant death, regardless of the wounded model's Toughness.

[Fausto2071]

ha! that looks like mr. fantastic's head

[Ecritter]

ha! that looks like mr. fantastic's head

 

I made the head using a program to design super heros <_<

 

Anyone want to give me a good point value for him?

[The 13th Goat]

Looks good. You could use the standard Chapter master model pts, due to the fact he is holding a power weapon (i assume). Other than that the fluff looks good. Check out the Storm Talons soon, there will be a story shooting up that has your boys in it! For your editorial discretion, of course.

[Ecritter]

Okay, so I went with 175 points

 

125 for basic Chapter Master

+30 for Relic weapon

+20 for a couple improved stats

 

Sound good?

[Octavulg]

Firstly, Stubborn would duplicate your morale effects acceptably without needing houserules.

 

Secondly, have you considered using the Chaos Codex for this? They've got Fearless troops all over the place.

[Ecritter]

I looked over Stubborn and it just doesn't have the same feel or effect I was looking for.

 

As for Fearless, I was told earlier that it was a bit to much and not acceptable.

[Serif]

another option... is Rites of Battle from 4th ed Space Marines... lets every model on the table test using the captain/ master's leadership

 

if you used CSM, their points are included and so there are no complications game wise. That's all I was talking about.

 

Cheers!

[Ecritter]

I've checked everything I can and nothing else really gives the same effect. I've also seen that its not unusual for Chapters to have Chapter specific rules that are very similiar to each other but with tweeking to match their own needs. Examples are the Black Rage, Blood Rage, Holy Rage, etc. So I think I'm not out of line in making these Chapter specific rules.

[gil galed]

gotta say i really love the fluff now, it's excellent and it my eyes really believable, i especially like how they were imprisoned first as it makes it seem alot more believable. One thing you say "a space marines" when talking about monks being marines etc. (a space marine) naturally the marine needs no s in that context

 

o and building your chapter master around my hq builder: http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.p...howtopic=164437

 

100 pt starting cost (includes iron halo + BP/CS)

Inspiring presence + 15pts

Sturdy +15pts (stubborn is 10 so i'll add 5)

Continuous advance 0pts (not sure really if it can be said to be advantageous but meh)

+1 W +10pts

MC Relic blade 15pts

Coup-de-gras 20pts

 

grand total 175pts, just like you based him at lol (thats impressive i must say)

[Ecritter]

I'm glad you like it, I'm happy with it now. I think they'll be fun to play.

 

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You've have to give me a quote where I used the Marines incorrectly, they all look right to me.

 

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I actually used premade stats from a couple different characters in the SM Codex to come up with Tobun's stats ... guess it worked out right. Tobun doesn't have the Iron Halo by the way. And with the Sturdy, he can't have Combat Tactics so I gave that up too.

[gil galed]

if he doesnt have an iron halo he will get squished just so your know,

 

 

 

Although it is not a requirement of the Order to become a Space Marines, all member of the Chapter are members of the Order but not all members of the Order are Space Marines.

 

quote for you

[The 13th Goat]

Lol, you think that picture of Tobun's face is blurred? He is the Imperial example of why Iron Halo's are required! His face is totalled from war, and the lacking of a spikey ring!

[Ecritter]

The War Of A Thousand Sins

The hive world of Pulsa was pitched on the edge of the Arcanis sector. Remote in location and alone in its system, when the distress beacon reached segmentum command the captains were all to aware of what might transpire on such a backwater world. When the attached message describing the nature of the distress was eventually decrypted, a special astropathic message was immediately sent to Titan, for the eyes of the Ordos Malleus. Within 2 weeks an Inquisitor was within the system and preparing to investigate the situation. What he found shocked even him.

The sky's all over Pulsa had darkened to a constant smog, with red lightning arching throughout the skies. Blood wept from the sky, and Imperial iconography seemed to crack and glow with unnatural light. Upon further investigation, the Inquisitor managed to uncover a terrible truth. The corrupt ruling class had become so obsessed with decadence they had decided to call forth a being from their world's ancient myths, supposed to grant wishes. The Inquisitor instantly recognised the Djinn mentioned as a Deamon Prince the Ordo had been unable to defeat 800 years prior, the monstrous Cha'taresh. This deamon was dedicated to the Slaaneshi way, and was known to harbor many Emperor's Children Traitor Marines within his employ. The Deamon was here, recollecting its strength, and if the ritual was completed he would attain a strength that could devastate entire systems.

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c162/ecritter/Space%20Marines/VenerationArriving.png

White Hand Battle Barge Veneratio

Aware time was not on his side and the Deamon Prince would have forces at work above his ability, he sent out an astropathic message for help. As the Grey Knights were disposed fighting in the recent Black Crusade, he prayed to the Emperor for enough support to stem the tide of evil that was about to be released on Pulsa. The Emperors response was not one, but three battle forces of Astartes. The two closest sectors offered up the warriors from the Storm Talons and Omega Marines, and a passing White Hand Battle Barge, the Veneratio, had also heeded the call. All arrived for one purpose: to stop the Emperor's Children.

The War

Almost as soon as the marines entire the system Pulsa descended into chaos. The wealthy ruling class took to the streets in an orgy of decadence and emotion, letting lose wild beasts and kidnapping the terrified working class. The local Aribites were quickly annihilated as a wall of horrific sound smashed into their precincts, courtesy of the Emperor's Children. The Inquisitor himself was forced to retreat into hiding in the outlaying forests, communicating desperate co-ordinates for landing parties to the rallying Space Marines. Three weeks after announcing distress, Space Marines had landed on Pulsa.

Fighting became thick and fast once the assault began. Marines battled traitors in the streets and civilians still loyal died in the cross fire. Whole hive were scorched and destroyed due to the sheer intensity of the fighting. Seven full companies of Space Marines fought brutally to capture supply points and uncover the location of the Deamon Prince. But the Deamon Prince had his own plans. By warping the armour of the destroyed Arbites, the deamon prince was actually creating more traitor marines, duplicating their deformed geneseed using sorcerous magics. For every traitor that fell, two more would appear days later. Things were looking bleak.

The Inquisitor had been playing his own part. Operating behind enemy lines within the corrupt palace, he gleaned information on the location of the ritual. Knowing the Deamon Prince would have to be near, he quickly contacted the commanding captains and formed a plan to break and kill the Deamon Prince. The marines at this point were severely battered. The two companies of Omega Marines were stuck on the other side of the planet caught in hive fighting, one of the Storm Talon companies had suffered severe casualties extracting civilians out of the hives and the White Hand Company was pinned performing a similar operation. The Inquisitor new it was a desperate gamble, but it was the only way.

The plan was simple. The Inquisitor would stop the ritual, escorted by an accumulation of Storm Talon Terminators and a 20 man White Hand squad led by a Brother Superior named Tobun. They would siege the great forge where the ritual was taking place, halting the Deamon's increasing powers. The remaining forces would lay siege to the palace the Deamon Prince was hiding in. Splitting the forces was risky, but the only way to divide enough attention to potentially complete both tasks.

The Forge

The battle into the great forge was horrific, with death and agony screaming down on all sides as the battled their way into the building. The Ritual itself was situated on the open roof, overlooking the palatial grounds. Stationing the Storm Talon's to Guard their flank, the Inquisitor and the White Hands ascended the building, storming floor after floor in their constant need to to get higher. The building was failing, its concrete not designed for such heavy fighting. By the time they broke onto the roof, the building was ablaze, with hordes of traitors and deamons racing after them, stemmed only by the dwindling Storm Talons. The sight that greeted them on the roof was hideous. The kidnapped victims had been violated and mutilated in ways to horrific to speak, and the wealthy were naked and writhing in the dead's entrails, relishing it in unfathomable ecstasy. Versed in understanding the of these rituals, the Inquisitor quickly smashed the surrounding lanterns that had been channeling their psychic power. In an eruption of psychic backlash, the roof and building began to collapse. Thrown by the sudden movements, the Inquisitor joined the wealthy cultists i sliding off the roof. In a bid to save the flailing Inquisitor the Brother Superior of the White Hands lept off after him. Catching him in mid fall and repositioning himself, the Marine crashed through the plane glass windows first, splashing down into one of the palatial pools frequented by the ruling class. All around them the falling cultist landed, splashing safely into the water. By the time the cultists had made it poolside, the Inquisitor and Marine were holding weapons and ordering them to get out.

They were the fortunate ones. Those stuck on the Forge knew the place was coming down around them. The way off had quickly become unusable, and they knew they were trapped. Facing Death head on, the remaining Storm Talons and White Hands rushed into the oncoming hordes, defiant to the last. As the walls and ceiling came crashing down, each Marines armour was scorched and wreathed in flames, their hatred and righteous fury burning bright admit the black chaos of their last moments.

Cha'taresh

The palace had been designed to offer full protection against worst an enemy could through at them. The Space Marines overcame these defenses in 8 minutes, rushing into the compound with cold determination and fury unrelenting. Walls and monuments were shattered and smashed as the Storm Talons and White Hands desperately tried to reach the throne room, home to the monster that had caused all their pain. Traitor marines littered the corridors, forcing long and brutal confrontations that saw many die. By the time the grand doors to the throne room opened, three men stood alone and drenched in blood; Master Gravin Vaspar of the White Hands, Chaplain Ares Inexus & Librarian Epimethrius Traou.

Separated from their brothers and acutely aware of their almost non-existent chances, the three marines challenged the Deamon Prince. Keen to taste the exquisite blood of his enemies, the deamon lept into the dual. Inhumanly tall and slender, his muscles bulged and writhed beneath his luminous skin, and a horse like mouth bearing and insect like maw of teeth sprouted plums of incense both delicate and noxious. In both hand huge swords shaped like dancing figures twinkled with unnatural light. Combat was fierce and fanatic. Traou desperately tried to pin the deamon with psychic attacks, while Vaspar and Inexus nimble dodged sweeping blades. Summoning up unearthly flames, the deamon prince ignited the room, belching out his own green flames at the marines. Inexus managed to protect most of them with his rosarius, but unfortunately Traou was glanced, and witnessed to his horror his hand melt away.

Suddenly, as if stuck by lightning, the deamon buckled. The rituals psychic backlash flooded the room. Seeing their only opportunity, Vaspar waded thought the flames and beheaded the deamon. What happened next is unclear. An unearthly scream filled the hive and an explosion ripped the room apart. Only Inexus carrying Traou on his back emerged from the devastation, carrying Vaspar's sword.

The Death Of Pulsa

After the death of Cha'taresh, the traitor marines seemed to be sucked back into the warp. The surviving wealthy ruling class were escorted to the palaces main conference room and shackled together to the floor. Some pleaded for their liefs, others howled at their unfulfilled dreams, some tried to bargain and a few, perhaps knowing what was to come, remained deathly silent. The Inquisitor, consulting how he was to return 376 criminals to titan, was taken aback when the Chaplain Inexus walked into the room, armour sparking and smashed, blood dripping still unclotted wounds. Walking over to the Inquisitor, he quietly demanded 30 minute alone with the cultists. Unsure of the reasoning, and unnerved by the leering chaplain, the Inquisitor left to requisition more transports for the traitors.

Upon leaving the doors locked, Storm Talons took up guard positions. Almost immediately the screaming started, deafening in its volume. Quickly spinning and launching back towards the room, the Storm Talons blocked his path, despite the Inquisitor giving them direct commands. Turning to the White Hands, he saw they too seemed unconcerned with the horror flooding out of the room. For 30 minute the Inquisitor heard what to him sounded like a human meat grinder. Finally, the sound died and slowly the doors opened Inexus walked out, blood washing out at his feet. Behind him was a seen of pure brutality, blood and organs spread through every corner of the huge room. Not one piece of flesh remained intact. With a silent nod at the Brother Superior currently holding Vaspar's blade and a glance the shocked Inquisitor, the Chaplain and the remaining Storm Talons left Pulsa.

Pulsa was subsequently deemed tainted. The Omega Marines and White Hands had manage to evacuate some during the war to their ships, but the rest faced exterminatus. The War Of A Thousand Sins was brought to a bloody close.

[Ecritter]

if he doesnt have an iron halo he will get squished just so your know,

 

 

 

Although it is not a requirement of the Order to become a Space Marines, all member of the Chapter are members of the Order but not all members of the Order are Space Marines.

 

quote for you

 

Okay, I'll fix that. thanks.

 

For the Halo ... I guess Tobun will have one then.

[Serif]

I enjoyed the story, I really did.

 

There are a few spots where your tenses don't match, starting a sentence or flow of thought with a past tense and finishing with a present. Really, there are just little grammatical things peppered through the account. Read it slowly out loud to yourself and you'll pick up many little hiccups.

 

Chears!

[The 13th Goat]

Lol, i wrote it after a busy day. Soz.

 

P.S I wrote the War story in a bit of co-operation fluffing with Ecritter. He's got an epic in the works now that should include my Storm Talons, which i'm really excited to see what he's turning out!

[Ecritter]

Actually I'm working on my 3D Battle Barge .... after that on to the story.

[Ecritter]

Well, its not a mini and its not painted ... but I've finished my first art for the White Hand.

 

White Hand Battle Barge "Veneratio" in orbit over Terra

 

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c162/ecritter/Space%20Marines/3DBattleBarge-12.png

[Ecritter]

Guarding Against Chaos

 

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c162/ecritter/Space%20Marines/WaitingforChaos.png

[Octavulg]

Battlecry: “May I find favor in the eyes of the Emperor.”

 

Battlecries aren't usually individual...not their purpose...

 

Pre-Heresy:

 

Free advice on how to do a traitor chapter: be subtle.

 

Don't tell people they're traitors. This gets you written off as just another noob.

 

Be subtle. Hint at it. Look at the Blood Ravens IA by GW for a good example. Point out that no one seems to know how they were founded.

 

Post-Heresy: The Word Bearer Space Marines, around one thousands, at the Temple on Terra remained loyal to the Emperor and fought against their Primarch and brothers. After the battle ended and the Heresy was put down, less then 20 loyal Word Bearers remained. At the battles end, they surrendered to the Imperial Guard to accept punishment for their brethren. The surviving 18 were held accountable, convicted of belonging to a heretic legion. For some secret reason, not even known by them, there were not put to death but locked away in a frozen prison, forbidden from ever being released and being Space Marines again.

 

They were never mentioned. Furthermore, they would have been informed of the Emperor's decree that he was not a god and not to be worshipped.

 

Within the prison, the survivors remained close and felt true guilt for their brothers. They saw the Emperor as a god and as time passed they share their beliefs with the other inmates. As the years passed, the movement they'd begun became a religious order within the inmate population, the Order of the White Hand. They became imprisoned monks and after some time most of the inmate population became followers and true believers. For nearly 500 years the forgotten 18 survivors taught 'the truth' to all that would hear. After their eventual deaths, the Order continued and centuries later when the prison was closed they chose to remain and convert it to their monastery.

 

The Imperium would execute them, not put them on a prison planet.

 

Their reputation grew but numbers remained small within the Order. In the time of the 13th Founding, members of the Order were added as the White Hand Chapter of Space Marines using unknown geneseed. The Order of the White Hand and the White Hand Chapter survive to this day. Although it is not a requirement of the Order to become a Space Marines, all member of the Chapter are members of the Order but not all members of the Order are Space Marines.

 

Not a good method for the founding of the Chapter (also, all records of the 13th Founding are lost, so this would not be known).

 

Their ancient prison turned temple on Terra remains the only base for the Order of the White Hand and the White Hand Chapter of Space Marines.

 

No. The Imperial Fists are the only chapter allowed to maintain a base on Terra/recruit therefrom. The Space Wolves have about five marines there as part of a deal with the Navis Nobilite. Otherwise, no Space Marine Chapters.

 

The White Hand Chapter is a partial-codex chapter. They are currently lead by the Grand Master Tobun and his staff from the order's Temple on Terra. With their high mortality rate, the Chapter only fields five Companies when at full strength.

 

Compromising the codex would require an in-universe justification - why fix it if it isn't broken?

 

* * *

 

OK...

 

The idea of a loyal Word Bearers successor is very workable. So's the idea of a very monastic Space Marine Chapter. Just not sure the method you're using here is the correct one.

 

The method for how they turn into a chapter doesn't make much sense. Nor does the survival of the Word Bearers who found the order. I can see a few options:

 

Do Blood Raven equivalents for the Word Bearers using the current ideas, but leave the details of the founding out.

Do a plain ol' monastic chapter, using many of the ideas here.

Have the Word Bearers found the Order in the distant past (whether loyalist or traitor is up to you - loyalist seems more interesting), then have a more modern marine chapter run across it unrelated. For best results, only hint at the Word Bearer involvement.

 

Right now, it feels like they were saved by plot device so you could have Word Bearer geneseed. Which isn't a good thing.

 

Stating they have traitor geneseed is a gimmick. Hinting at it is good writing. :lol:

 

Color scheme's very nice, though. Not sure about the two different colored shoulderpads, though.

[Ecritter]

I'll do these in order.

 

1: Its what each Marine yells, so its very personal.

 

2: The White Hand is not a traitor chapter. The Order of the White Hand was began by loyalist from a traitor Chapter. The White Hand Chapter came much later long after the surviving Word Bearer loyalists were dead.

 

3: Of course they were never mentioned. All record of them and the survivors was purposely lost. The survivors were imprisoned and forgotten, in hopes the whole thing would just disappear.

 

4: They were imprisoned on Terra, deep in Syberia most likely. As stated in the original storyline ... no one knows, not even them, why they were not executed. Even the survivors believed they deserved it.

 

5: Records may be lost, but the Chapter knows. And the method is as good as any other. The Imperium needed Marines, and theres a group of Loyal Monks sitting on their doorstep ... sounds like using any opportunity that presents itself.

 

6: Not sure where that's written. So I don't see it as a rule. The Order resides on Terra, the Chapter ships only visit once every decade as I stated in the storyline.

 

7: The Codex is a guide not a rule. The books even say so, most chapters decided to follow it to some extent, but none have to. There are several examples of chapters that do not follow the Codex.

 

In any event, use of unconventional tactics, heavy losses, and the fact that each company acts independently requires them be partial-codex and maintain each company as a complete fighting unit expecting no support from anyone.

 

8: Word Bearer geneseed was mostl likely not used, the source is listed as unknown. Whether its Lorgar's geneseed is a guess you're making, not stated anywhere. So since it wasn't said, it must have been hinted at. Its true at first they were planned as Lorgar's geneseed, but thats been removed for a long time.

 

Yes they were saved by a plot device to create the Order, not to have traitor geneseed.

 

There are reasons behind the color scheme.

[Grand Master Tyrak]

6: Not sure where that's written. So I don't see it as a rule. The Order resides on Terra, the Chapter ships only visit once every decade as I stated in the storyline.

 

That's never a good way to start things. Try thinking "what does it say I can do" instead. Otherwise, you will end up being in the group of people who field DIY super-units without opponent's consent because "it doesn't say I can't".

Put it this way - it doesn't say you can't have a secretive SM Chapter comprised entirely of Necrons, but would you accept such a Chapter? The line between reasonable and unreasonable is different for every person, it best to stick with what we do know.

 

Oh, and just a tip - the Imperial Prisons are on Luna.

[Octavulg]

1: Its what each Marine yells, so its very personal.

 

Yes.

 

But as I said, battlecries usually aren't. They're for proclaiming unity of purpose/scaring the enemy/inspiring everyone as a group.

 

2: The White Hand is not a traitor chapter. The Order of the White Hand was began by loyalist from a traitor Chapter. The White Hand Chapter came much later long after the surviving Word Bearer loyalists were dead.

 

I got that. By traitor chapter I meant "Chapter that uses traitor geneseed".

 

3: Of course they were never mentioned. All record of them and the survivors was purposely lost. The survivors were imprisoned and forgotten, in hopes the whole thing would just disappear.

 

Fine then.

 

Why the hell is there a cathedral on Terra? The Emperor doesn't want to be worshipped, it'd seem odd if he allowed such worship to take place in his capital. Why would Word Bearers be permitted to guard it, after the Emperor has made it very clear they're supposed to be off conquering worlds? Why would they remain loyal in the first place? The entire Word Bearers Legion was carefully corrupted from the top down. The Emperor made it clear that he was not to be worshipped - why would they continue to do so?

 

4: They were imprisoned on Terra, deep in Syberia most likely. As stated in the original storyline ... no one knows, not even them, why they were not executed. Even the survivors believed they deserved it.

 

Again...that's not the point.

 

Why would they be imprisoned instead of being executed? Space Marines are dangerous. Why would records about them be destroyed while the records about Garro's Death Guard remain?

 

5: Records may be lost, but the Chapter knows. And the method is as good as any other. The Imperium needed Marines, and theres a group of Loyal Monks sitting on their doorstep ... sounds like using any opportunity that presents itself.

 

IAs aren't written by the Chapters.

 

6: Not sure where that's written. So I don't see it as a rule. The Order resides on Terra, the Chapter ships only visit once every decade as I stated in the storyline.

 

Oh, well, if you don't know about it I guess that makes it OK.

 

The Imperial Fists are the only chapter with the right to recruit from Terra. Accept this, and work around it.

 

7: The Codex is a guide not a rule. The books even say so, most chapters decided to follow it to some extent, but none have to. There are several examples of chapters that do not follow the Codex.

 

Why would you not follow the Codex? It's a massive compilation of How To Fight Everything.

 

You're telling me a bunch of monks decided they knew better than Guilliman? That's more arrogant than, well, Guilliman...

 

Most First Founding chapters follow the Codex. That's a pretty fair testament to its effectiveness. Those that don't do so because of either some great need or a need/desire to honor something in their past.

 

In any event, use of unconventional tactics, heavy losses, and the fact that each company acts independently requires them be partial-codex and maintain each company as a complete fighting unit expecting no support from anyone.

 

The Company is a complete fighting unit that expects no support from anyone. More to the point, you don't justify it as such.

 

8: Word Bearer geneseed was mostl likely not used, the source is listed as unknown. Whether its Lorgar's geneseed is a guess you're making, not stated anywhere. So since it wasn't said, it must have been hinted at. Its true at first they were planned as Lorgar's geneseed, but thats been removed for a long time.

 

Ah. Twas not clear.

 

Yes they were saved by a plot device to create the Order, not to have traitor geneseed.

 

Somewhat different. Why not just have the Order be created prior to the Word Bearer's fall? Avoids the need for plot devices altogether.

 

I think you'd get a better effect if you just start out with a conventional chapter introduction, then have them meet the Order. Explain what they know of the Order's history, and hint at an attachment to the Word Bearers. Have said Order totally permeate the chapter due to their initiates being the only ones on the planet with the discipline to complete the Chapter trials. The Word Bearer history thus takes on a slightly more ominous attitude, and is a bit more subtle. Plus, it gives you space to focus on other things.