IA: Infinity Knights

[1TH0R3]

not sure about color scheme, but loving the fluff

[Ace Debonair]

Cheers Thor.

Much appreciated. :)

[Ace Debonair]

OK, I think I've fixed everything up to now.

Another step closer to world dominiati- oops, I mean a fine, upstanding IA.

 

I've basically painted over the flaws now. I think. I can't spot any, anyway.

If someone would be kind enough to point out any of the bits I've missed?

[Ace Debonair]

Huh?

No responses? ;)

 

 

I edited out all the gramatical flaws and stuff - plus a few tiny word choice errors.

 

Anyone think this is ready for the Librarium? :P

 

I welcome all shades of opinion on this subject - tell me what you think of my chapter!

[Codex Grey]

The small shift from their previous beliefs to the current system did it for me, and I always appreciate people who stick with their Chapter so that it can be the best that it can be. I think the article has a much better focus now, bringing the Knights into the spotlight. Still think you could swap the Steel Dragons reference out with 'another Chapter's system' or something, but that's a small gripe.

 

Anyways, I'm pleased. :)

[Ace Debonair]

Thanks Grey.

 

I'd change the mention of the Steel Dragons cheerfully, but I'm going to tie that in with the 'Dragons when I re-write their IA.

However, maybe the extra-subtle hints might be better than just bringing up the Vorlian system.

 

Wheels within wheels... :mellow:

 

That aside, do you have any views on whether the Infinity Knights are librarium-worthy yet? :)

[Lysimachus]

couple of little bits:

 

Orthadeus was no stranger to neither battle nor command

Double negative means he was a stranger to both :P , either remove ‘no’ or change to ‘either’ and ‘or’

 

Although at fist the strength of these warbands was estimated to be minimal, the truth of the matter was that there were several thousand more Orks than humans on Sharius when the Infinity Knights arrived

Typo, first, and might want to reword. On any planet, even a death world, the population you’ve got to be looking at must be over a million surely; hence ‘several thousand’ is not exactly outnumbered? Sorry, you did say to be picky!

 

reinforcing Imperial presence within the sector.

Add ‘the’ after reinforcing. Also, several odd new lines in this paragraph

 

should lead the now stricken chapter

I’d move ‘now’ to after ‘should’

 

End of section, make last sentence part of last paragraph.

 

accompanied of course by the chapter's sacred dreadnoughts

I’d cut ‘of course’, as this is the first time you’ve mentioned the Dreadnoughts significance

 

as He intended

I get what you’re saying, but ‘as The Emperor intended’ might be better

 

The Infinity Knights are a standard, codex-reliant chapter. The only real deviation in organization is the absence of dedicated devastator or assault companies, with marines in each comapny instead consisting of a balanced force. In terms of function, however, there is another difference. The Infinity Knights have only the eighth and ninth companies as reserve companies. The fourth, fiths, sixth and seventh are reserved for long-range travel - always ready to answer the call to arms and fly to the assistance of their brother astartes, no matter the distance or the perils.

Typo’s, long-range campaigning might be better

 

The Infinity Knights take extremely meticulous care of their dreadnoughts, carefully and thoroughly cleaning and polishing each part before and after battles, as well as dedicated daily maintenance checks. To be allowed to repair a damaged dreadnought is one of the greatest honours, granted only to senior Techmarines.

Cut ‘s’ from 'battles', and ‘greatest honours the Chapter can bestow,’ sounds better. Odd new line again before this sentence, should be same paragraph.

 

The chapter was created to reinforce Imperial presence, and the Infinity Knights will throw themselves willingly into any conflict a brother astartes requests of them, irrespective of risk - especially the 'wandering' companies, who travel through any peril and over any distance to reinforce their Imperial brethren.

‘reinforce the Imperial presence around the Shroud Stars’ and I’d change the second use of reinforce, maybe ‘to assist their Imperial brethren’?

 

codex

capital C

 

In the whole, very, very nice work Ace, good job!

[Ace Debonair]

couple of little bits:

 

Orthadeus was no stranger to neither battle nor command

Double negative means he was a stranger to both :P , either remove ‘no’ or change to ‘either’ and ‘or’

 

Maybe that was the effect I was going for?

No, no, I can't even type that with a straight face. Well spotted.

 

Although at fist the strength of these warbands was estimated to be minimal, the truth of the matter was that there were several thousand more Orks than humans on Sharius when the Infinity Knights arrived

Typo, first, and might want to reword. On any planet, even a death world, the population you’ve got to be looking at must be over a million surely; hence ‘several thousand’ is not exactly outnumbered? Sorry, you did say to be picky!

 

It does say several thousand more, and I'm not sure the natives could put up much of a fight against orks. But you raise a valid point, I'll increase the ork count. :lol:

 

 

I've fixed the first post, erasing all my highlighted mistakes.

Anyone see any other flaws?

[SladetheElder]

Very good Ace. Interesting narrative and most importantly, believable.

I also like the colourscheme - got any models painted yet?

 

I am amazed at how thorough everyone is on the IAs. I need to get some English lessons before I post my own.

[Brother Keir]

Good work. I went through this process and had a lot of fun. The only thing I would say from my experience is add more grimdark. It was the last recommendation I remember struggling over for my IA. Yes, that is vague, but it is your interpretation of grimdark that should be reflected in your chapter. Coming from the Ultramarines, it is easier to imagine that they are safe from grimdark, but since they are not the Ultras anymore they should be more miserable or angry or psychotic... generally. That is just my opinion for whatever it may be worth.

 

Brother Keir

[Ace Debonair]

My thanks to both SladeTheElder and Brother Keir for reading the IA and replying!

 

Slade:

 

I haven't got any painted yet, because I don't have any of the paints. Another sad fact is that my painting skills are... shall we say... slightly worse than my writing. :D

Best of luck with the English lessons - I'll keep an eye open for your IA one day.

 

Keir:

More grimdark, you say?

A valid point - I've steered more or less clear of Grimdark because I'm not very good at writing it. I'll give it a go, but which part do you think would benefit most from added grimdark?

(This is an open question - if anyone has any ideas, let me hear 'em!)

[Brother Keir]

In my own IA, I added a great deal of brutality in the form of collateral damage to Imperial units that "got in the way." Some of it was actually what I was going to do in the next Lucky 13s game when one of my "allies" blocked my line of sight with his #$%^ tanks again, but anyway... it is hard to tell you what or where to add it without taking away from what makes the chapter yours.

 

Dark Secrets are good, but be careful not to redo a pre-existing chapter.

 

Unusual rituals... by today's standard. Something that shocks people (or makes the cynical chuckle). Something that shows them as outsiders to the mainstream Imperials.

 

Gene-seed flaw... even minor.

 

Penitant crusades. What are they penitant for?

 

Disregard for something that is important to your allies... Human life, taxes, reverance for the Emperor, calls for help, Inquistors who quote Monty Python (there are more than you might expect), et cetera...

 

Suffering on their homeworld.

 

Miserable/high casualty rate training conditions.

 

Well, my break is over... good luck.

[Ace Debonair]

Gene-seed flaw... even minor.

 

That could work. I'll muse over the idea for a while.

 

Disregard for something that is important to your allies... Human life, taxes, reverance for the Emperor, calls for help, Inquistors who quote Monty Python (there are more than you might expect), et cetera...

 

I know there are more than you might expect. :)

Nobody ever expects the Inquisition!

 

Miserable/high casualty rate training conditions.

 

It's a desert world, so I don't even have to add anything. :jaw:

I just have to actually mention it. :jaw: I'll get onto that later if I get chance.

[Ace Debonair]

OK!

 

Desert-world training fatalities and recent gene-seed failure added to the IA.

 

Does it need more work?

Can anyone see any other flaws?

[Reyner]

I really like the idea of the 'wandering' Companies!

 

I'm doing my best but can't find anything else wrong with this article. I've read that you have made up the Shroud Stars yourself so how about adding a little more as to where they are?

 

Best of luck Ace.

[Ace Debonair]

;)

 

I thought I had already done that. :lol:

I guess I must've edited it out.

 

Well spotted, Reyner.

 

To the points made by BrotherKeir, although this question is adressed to the world at large.

Are the new editions enough to add a splash of grimdark-y-ness to the IK's?

 

If not, what else should I be considering?

[Ace Debonair]

Well, I've left these fellows on the shelf since just before the Iron Gauntlet was thrown down, so maybe I'll dust them off and see if anyone can spot any flaws.

 

I'm also aware that both Organization and Combat Doctrine are painfully short, so any suggestions for how I could enlarge them will be very, very appreciated. ;)

[Ferrus Manus]

Organisation: Why do they have this different set up?

Combat Doctrine: I was shocked ( ;) ) when you didn't talk about them having a lot more Dreadnoughts than most.

 

Hope that helps.

[Ace Debonair]

Hmm, I botched that a little, didn't I?

 

The IK were never meant to have more dreadnoughts. It goes against their principles to deny any other chapter the same chance at eternal honour.

 

I've now edited the first post to include that line, since Im quite pleased with that. :lol:

That's an organization part rather than combat doctrine, though. I'll have a think about what to do there.

[Ace Debonair]

OK!

 

It's been a good while since I even thought about these guys, but I had an idea whilst working on the Gehenna campaign with my esteemed colleagues Ferrus Manus, KingHongKong and Codex Grey.

 

Heck, instead of typing it again I'll take the lazy route and quote myself from both posts concerning the rough idea.

 

I'm thinking that the apothecaries keep and freeze any usable bits (organs, limbs... you know) from fallen brothers, so if a marine loses a bit, they can replace it. Then, in a way, the marine who 'donated' said bits lives on, tagging neatly into the "Infinity" part of the name. Thoughts?

 

I'd argue that they could even use the same "even in death I still serve" line when the apothecaries start cutting bits off.

It's not an idea to replace the dreadnoughts, heaven forbid. Just something to go alongside it, perhaps when a warrior is dying and there are no dreadnoughts to inter him into.

 

If nobody else thinks this idea is sensible or workable, I'll bin it - but I'd rather make certain I'm not throwing away a decent concept by waiting for another opinion or two.

 

I think this is a good idea, but the opinions of my brothers-in-arms listed above were divided, and I couldn't even begin to guess if this would fit into the 40K universe, let alone if it would be acceptable. :)

 

So, I'll post it here - I want as many opinions on this idea as possible. For or against, I don't mind which, I just want to hear what people think.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

It's a tad creepy... But I quite like it.

 

That said, how would the rest of the Imperium feel?

[Ferrus Manus]

Hmm, as I said before I think it's a good idea and a different take on the 'our ancestor's live on with us' aspect of the SMs. However, the only issue I can think of is that would you be able to attach a body part to another person? Due to geneseed, the different body type problem doesn't come into it. I think that makes sense.

[Ace Debonair]

Well, I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty confident the souped-up far-future organs of the space marines could have something that would allow the body to cope.

 

If they don't, perhaps it could be a genetic mutation of some sort, maybe native to the population of Sharius or the IK geneseed. Maybe both?

 

One thing though - I reckon this idea slaps a healthy splash of Grimdark into the chapter, if only because it's freaked a couple of folks out. :P

[Ace Debonair]

Updated a bit.

I'll be honest, I'd hoped for more opinions on the 'recylcing dying marines' idea.

 

I don't want to add this only to have to take it back out, so this is your last chance to stop me from adding it.

 

The next update will otherwise include it, even if I have no idea whatsoever on how they would go about storing working bits from dead marines, or if there's anything directly stating it cannot be done in the official stuff. :lol:

[Octavulg]

It's a bit short yet, though it's come together quite nicely.

 

Is there anything you wish to expound further upon? Because the standard IA length is about 3000 words, and you're still a fair way from that.

 

The whole "saving dead bits" thing doesn't quite seem to mesh with the rest of the Chapter. You could mention it, I suppose, but it doesn't really seem to fit. Not sure why. Also, trying to spread that theme across the entire Chapter would involve some rewriting and, I think, adding even more ideas in order to flesh it out (heh, pun).

 

The "serving forever" angle is very possible, and could work, but it couldn't just be tacked in - you'd need to do a fair bit of work.