Lord Howland Greywolf Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Avatar speaking to Wraithlord: You Know I think we are facing the new Space wolf dex today. Wolf Lord with TH/SS/TDA rushes up and charges Wraithlord Wolf Lord: Have at you, ye' gient walking bean pole. (they've always seamed very skinny to me). Wraithlord: Hold on, "I" strike first Hits and wounds Wolf lord. Wolf lord fails inv. Wolf lord still standing. Wraithlord: Hay I couse instant death against you. Wolf Lord: New rules mate. Look at this little one Sagas: The Bear: character has eternal warrior. Wolf Lord: and the one below that. The Monster Slayer: Re-roles to hit against big stuff. Wraithlord: Oh :tu: ! Wolf Lord: Bend over and take it. *Splat*, *Wack*, ARGH!, *Smack*, "Now squeal like a piggy" *Wham* GAAH! Avatar speaking to guardians: Time to make good use of the run rules. Wolf Preist: NOT so fast. Rune Preist: We're not done with you. Avatar: I thought they removed that rule with the HQ for every 750pts. RP: Yes they did, but now we get 2 HQs per slot. Avatar: Oh. WP: And I get perfered enemy against a unit of my choosing, like your objective holding guardians. Guardians: *collective gulp* RP: And my new weapon wounds deamons on a 2+ and I have a WTN. Avatar: Good thing its our turn next, our Rangers and Dark Reapers will destroy you. Dark Reapers: Argh! Rangers:Gaah! RP: Did we mention that our other HQ has a saga that alows him to infiltrait? WP: And that our scoutes still have OBEL? Avatar: No it must have sliped oyur minds. I hate new codex cheese. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chodjinn Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 hahahaha :tu: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2105699 Share on other sites More sharing options...
hilander Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 heh, I liked the 'collective gulp' reaction to preferred enemy;) so cinematic Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2105709 Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Forgetful Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Hahahahah instant classic. :) - Forgetful Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2105710 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorgrim Blackwolf Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Nice, Lord Howland Greywolf :) :P I might have to try that scenario out with some eldar players that I know...... Cheers Thorgrim Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2105732 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mar Bloodaxe Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 *Toasts with mead* :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2105733 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hfran Morkai Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Nice! It's good to see that we still are capable of good old fashioned humour, eh? That's what drew me to the wolves, they look awesome, have awesome backgrounds and yet people can have a real laugh with them. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2105893 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Danvers Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Brilliant! Reading this made my day Howland. Cheers ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2105904 Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedMoon Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 lol that was awesome. almost spit my ale all over my laptop lol Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2105951 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Howland Greywolf Posted September 9, 2009 Author Share Posted September 9, 2009 Hold on a mo, I got more. Grey hunter: reading new codex at the feasting tableHoly emperor have you seen this? Wolf guard:looking up from his drink What is it? GH: We have to have ten men in order to have 2 special weapons. WG: So? We always run with ten men. GH: That dosnt include you. So that means we cant run in a rhino if we want 2 special weapns. WG: Well that doesnt matter to us, we ride in a land raider. Enough space for 11 men and an ale keg. GH: Land raiders only carry 10 men now. WG:looks into his ale mug Aha! I have a plan and I cannot think why nobodies thought of it before. A few months later at the start of a new battle GH:gets on the vox from inside he LR How you doing up there? WG:also on the vox This is awsome, you got to try riding on the outside some time. GH: Yeah, but are you sure its safe? WG: Why wouldnt it be? I got the wind in my hair and the only problem is that I'm fighting the impulse to let my tounge loll in the wind. GH:looking up from scanner Hold on we're facing a chaos player and he's got nine obliterators this is gonna be rough. one shooting phase later GH: Good job land raiders are such thiked skined, we would never have survived that otherwise, Eh hounerable brother? Hounerable brother? Hello? WG:Coverd in black soot and all hair has been burnt off Pooht *Faints*. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2105969 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hfran Morkai Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Yay for more silliness! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2106002 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorgrim Blackwolf Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 He should have got a Redeemer out of the armoury instead :P :D :lol: ! Shame about the keg of ale though, what a waste :P ;) Keep it up LHG, I'm enjoying these snapshots of our guys interpreting the new codex ;) . Cheers Thorgrim Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2106007 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirnir Ragefang Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Logan Grimnar (reading the Codex): "Wait, what? Land Raiders used to carry ten Marines, then Suddenly they carry 12 and now 10 again? What is this madness?" Marneus Calgar: "Um, yeah. When we made the new Codex Astartes we introduced specific sizes to Squads and couldn't fit our commanders into the transports, so we had to make room for them, but as you are not a Codex Chapter you still have the old Land Raiders with ten Seats." Logan: "And you tell me now? We already attached Wolf Guards to Packs and now they can't ride their transports anymore? What am i supposed to do with them?" Marneus: "Dunno. Form them to additional Packs? Let them ride on those giant Wolves of yours? Logan: ..... Marneus: "Whats up with you, Logan? You have that crazy gleam in your eye...... Logan?" Wolfpriest: "Pack Bloodfang, you will now be reorganized to the new Codex standards, here have some Bolt Pistols." Grey Hunter: "Yay, shiny!" Wolfpreist: "8..9..10. Here have Melta." Grey Hunter: "But we already got one." Wolfpreist: "We got a sweet deal with the Munitorium, two special weapons for the price of one, because Logan Grimnar ordere a huge load of Bolters and Bolt Pistols. So whos the best shot?" Wolf Guard: "That would be Erik, over there." Wolfpriest: "Wait you have Wolf Guard attached? That means only one Melta for you, for some reasons you can only have one free if the Pack consists of ten Grey Hunters. Grey Hunters and Wolfguard: :( Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2106046 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorgrim Blackwolf Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 It seems we all seem to have retained our sense of humour ;) , so here is my attempt: *A Wolf Priest, Fang (WP's Thunderwolf) and an Iron Priest are 'discussing' the transport capacity of WP's Land Raider in one of the Fangs many motor pools* WP: "So you're telling me that I can only fit 4 of my 5 Wolf Guard in terminator armour in my Land Raider now?" IP: "Yes, for the fifth bloody time!" WP: "Right, find me a Land Raider Redeemer or I'll ask the Blood Claws to help with your next servo harness diagnostic!" *Iron Priest hurriedly scans the motor pools inventory for a free Land Raider Redeemer.* WP: "Wait, whats all that noise for over there?" * A rhino full of 10 blood claws careens around the corner and zooms past the Wolf Priest and Iron Priest, scratching the paint work of a Vindicator and knocking the sponson off a Land Raider* WP: "Who the hell gave control of a Rhino to a pack full of blood claws!?! By Logan's hairy arse, wheres their wolf guard pack leader!!" IP: "The Wolf Lord wanted the Rhino BC packs to be full sized, so the WGPL's wouldn't fit in the Rhino." WP: *Face palms* "He's been at the Wolfmeister and Wolfwhizz brews again" * Wolf Priest turns to his Thunder Wolf, Fang, and points after the rapidly receeding Rhino* "Fang, FETCH!!" Cheers Thorgrim Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2106100 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hfran Morkai Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Good work everyone! I'm liking it, if I think of an amusing situation I'll let you know. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2106114 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirnir Ragefang Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 *A dark chamber deep in The Rock, four marines in robes are poring over the new Space Wolf Codex* Azrael (glaring at Belial): "Now, do you see what your bragging about a full Terminator Company in front of Logan Grimnar has brought us?" Belial: "Ok, ok, i should not have accepted his ale!" Sammael: "Emperor's Grace! They can even field a complete bike army, or on with jumppacks." Asmodai: "Dante will be furious when he hears about that." Sammael: "Ohh, cool *points at the codex* you think we could.." Azrael: "No." Sammael: "But Caliban was famous for it's Monsters!" Azrael (yelling): "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO CREATE A GIANT LION TO RIDE ON!" Asmodai: *facepalm* *Somewhere in an imperial Warzone* Blood Angel 1 : "I just talked to this Space Wolf fellow. Seems they have got a new Codex. He said something about his Wolflord being an Ironwolf. Apparently it makes their Rhinos faster." Blood Angel 2 : "Cool, i wish we had an actual Codex." Blood Angel Rhino driver: "BY THE EMPEROR! WHO STOLE MY TURBOCHARGER! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2106195 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grey Mage Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 This thread has officially earned "Best Thread in the Last Month" with little to no competition. RP: So... umm, yeah. You know how I accused you of stealing my copy of Combat Powers Training Guide about ten years ago? IP: Yes, I do. I also recall that as a matter of fact you glued my copy of Battlefield Maintenance and Repair in a misquided act of vengeance a couple of years back. Hows that rhino treating you? RP: Well, umm... I got you a new copy. And the rhino stopped driving. IP: Stopped driving huh? And I guess you think IM going to fix your rhino? For the price of a new book? RP: *looks chagrined* Well actually... Im S.*.*.*.... see Njal actually took my book with him on vacation. So Ive got it back now and I thought maybe youd want yours back too. IP: What was that? RP: I thought youd want a copy of your book again? IP: No, before that. RP: Njal took my book? IP: No no... right before that, you mumbled something. RP: Umm... IP: Sounded like an apology. RP: Ummm.... IP: You want that rhino fixed right? RP: Umm.... IP: You know Logain wont let you leave the fang tell its fixed. RP: *Eyes glow and hand bursts forth with a brilliant light* ARRGHSDAMMNITISAIDI WASSORRYOUBARSTARD! *Wall dissapears, having failed its initiative check* IP: HOLY CRAP WHAT WAS THAT? RP: Well apparently that book had all my old notes and it reminded me off this time back in 2nd edition.... IP: You can melt walls? RP: Actually... I umm.. teleport them. IP: Where? *Accross the galaxy* Marneus: You, Soldier! Whats going on with this new wall. Its not up to codex standards, and it smells of beer. IG: We dont know sir! It appeared in the same place as that Carnifex did last Tuesday! Cassius: Stand Aside young Marneus! For this is most assuredly a Tyranid organism trying to lull us into complacency with its still demeanor and heady smell. *Charges, firing his combi-melta*. Marneus: *Facepalms* Send for Tigurious, and a medic. IG: Yes sir. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2106292 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warhorse47 Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 ;) Thanks guys, I really needed this after today! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2106357 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archnomad Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 *At the bar inside The Fang* A Thousand Son, Dark Angel and an Ultramarine walk into the bar. The bartender looks up: "Get the hell out." ;) Ahem, moving onward: Daemon Prince: I! Am a chaos daemon prince! Thrice damned by the loyalist corpse god! Chief Warlock of the Thousand Sons! Lord of the Thirteen Hells! Master of Bones! Emperor of the Black, Lord of Chaos, and the mayor of a little village up the coast. WL: So, what do you do then? DP: Why I have 5 attacks, strong enough to wound you most of the time, with a ridiculously high weapon skill, I also reroll missed hits and wounds! WL: Cool, you're a monstrous creature right? DP: Yes...? WL: Sweet, I get something like that too. DP: Well... I have a 5+ Invulnerable save, a gift from the Dark Gods! WL: Mine's 3+. DP: Oh... Did I mention I can fly? WL: I can have a Jump Pack if I choose. DP: Well, I'm a master psyker! WL: Uh huh. See that guy over there? Yeah, him. With the pointy stick. Yes, the one I get in addition to myself and he takes up the same amount of space on the FoC as you. Want to know what he thinks of your psychic power? Olaf, roll a dice will you? *5* WL: So where's your psychic power now? DP: Well.... my Khornate Berzerkers will destroy your army! WL: Excuse me. Allow me to introduce our newest, yet oldest, troop choice. These are the Wolf Guard. They range from 35 to 80 or so points. They can manage 8 attacks each if we so desire. Rerolling failed hits and wounds, ignoring armour. Did you say something about close combat? DP: Well.... I get chaos marks... WL: And I get Sagas. Which are better. And don't drop off of me if Jeremy drops the bloody pole again. DP: God Dammit! Can't I Have Anything!? WL: No. Because we're space wolves. We get all the fanboyism of Space Marines, with some extra awesome because. Well. Just because. *WL continues*: You see, this war is divided into two halves. Both sides fought by genetically engineered super warriors, however, as you say, one side has horrible, short sighted, horrendously powerful, uncaring, constantly changing, super powering gift giving monstrosities fuelling their furnaces. WL: And you have the Chaos Gods. *fin* Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2106370 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlk Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 gotta love the LFG reference Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2106380 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorgrim Blackwolf Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Lets keep this going guys, as we've got some good stuff so far :o :D ! My turn... *WGBL in Terminator Armour and retinue are standing on a ridge on some nameless battlefield, shooting their assault cannons at a horde of traitor guardsmen swarming towards them.* WGBL: 178........179...............180!!!! 180 dead guardsmen from my assault cannon alone *Turns to his pack mate Hrolf* thats 10 kegs of Wolfmeister brew you owe me when we get back to the strike cruiser!! WG Hrolf: Grumble grumble ....... I wish he didn't have his favourite toy.....bloody new shiny assault cannon. *WGBL' assault cannon grinds to a halt and red lights start blinking on its status displays* WGBL: *Shakes assault cannon furiously* What the hells wrong with it?? its not out of ammo!! *A mysterious figure clad in Terminator Armour and carrying a thunder hammer and storm shield crests the ridge, and stands next to the WGBL.* Logan's Champion: Its called a new codex, didn't you get the memo with your ale this morning? WG Hrolf: *Snigger* WGBL: Bah! I was only using the bloody thing because it made a loud noise and looked cool! *Hefts AC in one hand, then chucks it spear-like at a nearby guardsmen squad and impales the squad like a spit roasted boar* WGBL: * Turns to Logan's Champion and sticks his tongue out* Bet you can't beat that!!! you've only got a thunder hammer and storm shield! WG Hrolf: *Face Palms* *At that moment, a battle cannon shell whizzes over the ridge and dents Logan Grimnar's Land Raider. Over the sounds of the raging battle can clearly be heard a certain Great Wolf loudly describing the questionable parentage of the tank crew responsible, and what he would do to said tank crew if he ever got hold of them* Logan's Champion: *Looks over his shoulder* I'll deal with it in a moment, my lord *Turns to face WGBL* A Dark Angel could have done better than that! I bet you your 10 kegs of Wolfmeister brew that I can destroy that tank with out moving from this spot! WGBL: You're on! WG Hrolf: *Face Palms Again* *Logan's Champion hefts his thunder hammer and flings it at the tank with great accuarcy. It smacks a hole in the front armour with a sound like Haegr falling down a flight of stairs and disappears inside the still moving tank, much to the shock of the WGBL and guardsmen" Guardsmen: Phew!! it didn't explode! WGBL: Hah! you didn't destroy it *Tank detonates with an ear-splitting crash and a fireball that incinerates a platoon of guardsmen and their rabbit mascot* All WG: *Begin howling with laughter* WGBL: *Jaw drops* WOW!! How are you going to get the thunder hammer back? Logan's Champion: *Winks* *Logan's Champion raises his free arm and streches his hand out in front of the WGBL's face. With a blinding flash that singes the WGBL's beard, the thunder hammer returns to his hand as if by magic* Logan's Champion: I believe thats 10 kegs of Wolfmeister brew that you owe me? Now keep mowing down the traitor guardsmen and having fun, I've got to go and knock the dent out of the Great Wolf's Land Raider. *Logan's Champion makes his way back down the ridge towards the dented Land Raider and irate Great Wolf, whistling Korpiklaani's 'Beer, Beer' to himself* WG Hrolf: 179...........180...........181!! You now owe me 10 kegs of Wolfmeister brew as welll!! Rest of WG retinue: *Snigger* WGBL: *Face Palm* Cheers Thorgrim Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2106446 Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedMoon Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 lol now thts funny. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2106454 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharpsilver Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 Jorik, the Wolfguard Battle Leader for the 2nd Grey Hunters pack, and his 10 Grey Hunters are standing by the drop pod, waiting to enter once the go ahead is given Jorik: Right, suit up lads, Today we Fight to save this planet!, and destroy the corrupt Forces of the Thousand Sons on this world. <Lots more of For Russ's and Howling> <Wolf Lord Ragnar speaks over the vox> Ragnar: My Brothers! Don your gear and prepare yourselves! For far too long we have left these foul forces of chaos to dwell on this planet! under our protection! For Russ and the All-father! <Lots more cheers in Russ' name and howling> Ragnar: Load into the Drop Pods! We launch in 3 Minutes! <Hundreds of shuffling sounds as Grey Hunters, Long Fangs and Blood Claws of Ragnar's company pour into the Drop Pods in the loading Bay> Jorik: Alright men! Move in! Right to the back! <Shuffling as arguing as the 10 Grey Hunters squeeze into the Drop Pod. Jorik: You sure that's as far back as you can go!? Come on! <Complaining and arguing as the Grey Hunters whine that they cannot move back any further> Jorik: That's odd. I swear I was able to fit in here on our last planet-decent! Sergeant Marfus: Sir, we cannot move back! The remaining space is taken up by the Ale! Jorik: The Ale? Sergeant Marfus: Yes Sir, Jorik: The Ale....mhmm. Sergeant Marfus: *Winces in preparation for good thrashing* <Jori sighs> Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2106479 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draketh Firewind Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 I think this is just plan awesome! :o Now wish someone would do one about the daemons and the new I wound you on 2+ rune weapon with rune priest! :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2106480 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archnomad Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 gotta love the LFG reference Cookies for you for finding my little Easter Egg. I mean umm.. Ale. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/#findComment-2106496 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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