Rune Priest Ridcully Posted May 30, 2010 Share Posted May 30, 2010 Could we get back on track with the thread, i.e telling funny space wolf tales before Rune priest Rodney uses his meltagun on this thread please. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2417754 Share on other sites More sharing options...
WL NiteWolf Posted May 30, 2010 Share Posted May 30, 2010 I apologize for my comments and taking it to seriously. Im am far from a hardcore player. As for the " you should be kicked " it is used as slang for "straightened out" in my area. Sorry for the rudeness. Sorry to bring down the mood. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2418022 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Requiem of the Wolf Posted May 30, 2010 Share Posted May 30, 2010 I apologize for my comments and taking it to seriously. Im am far from a hardcore player. As for the " you should be kicked " it is used as slang for "straightened out" in my area. Sorry for the rudeness. Sorry to bring down the mood. *chuckles* ahh so you were referring to a boot-based viewpoint adjustment...a long standing and honored Tradition amongst the Wolves,rather then a removal from the forums. Makes far more sense now lol. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2418031 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quannum Posted May 30, 2010 Share Posted May 30, 2010 Ah! You meant literally kicked! Well, as the right honourable Requiem points out...among SW circles....that's a time-honoured tradition! And on with the jokes: At the tavern of the Long Fang, several Wolves are honouring the day's battle. Mead is flowing, and Aerosmith's "Dude Looks like a Lady" is playing loudly above the rabble. Blood Claw Bob: (slurring) HEY! GREY HUNTER GORDON! THIS SONG COULD BE ABOUT YOUR WIFE...ONLY, IT WOULD BE "LADY LOOKS LIKE A DUDE!" AHAHAHAHAHAHA. The tavern explodes into raucous laughter. Fortunately, Gordon sees the lighter side. Gordon: IMPETUOUS PUP! I'VE NEUTERED WOLVES FOR LESS! Amidst the merriment, nobody noticed a solitary figure enter and walk over to the jukebox Gordon: ANYWAY, I WAS JUST SAYING THAT YESTER.... Suddenly the music stops dead. Silence falls as everyone looks over to the jukebox in the corner. Bob: Oh Christ. It's Lone Wolf Larry. Apparently, he's still in mourning. What'll it be this time... Jukebox: All by myself......don't wanna be.... Gordon and Bob: *face palms* Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2418112 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLoneWolf Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Oh my, this thread is so full of win and awesomecakez.... :huh: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2418457 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Requiem of the Wolf Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Oh my, this thread is so full of win and awesomecakez.... :huh: Yes and now that you have posted in it,you must try and come up with a joke to add to the rampant silliness.. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2418461 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rune Priest Ridcully Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 At the tavern of the Long Fang, several Wolves are honouring the day's battle. Mead is flowing, and Aerosmith's "Dude Looks like a Lady" is playing loudly above the rabble. Am I the Only one who would be worried by that song playing on Jukebox on the fang? Mind you I could imagine the wolves sing that about the Blood Angels though. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2418465 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Requiem of the Wolf Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 At the tavern of the Long Fang, several Wolves are honouring the day's battle. Mead is flowing, and Aerosmith's "Dude Looks like a Lady" is playing loudly above the rabble. Am I the Only one who would be worried by that song playing on Jukebox on the fang? Mind you I could imagine the wolves sing that about the Blood Angels though. Singing it about them? Pffft...The Blood Claws would be finding ways to make it play a nonstop track over their ship's comms. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2418472 Share on other sites More sharing options...
S. Bloodhowl Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 At the tavern of the Long Fang, several Wolves are honouring the day's battle. Mead is flowing, and Aerosmith's "Dude Looks like a Lady" is playing loudly above the rabble. Am I the Only one who would be worried by that song playing on Jukebox on the fang? Mind you I could imagine the wolves sing that about the Blood Angels though. I nearly fell out my seat laughing when read that!!!! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2418504 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Branek Icefang Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 At the tavern of the Long Fang, several Wolves are honouring the day's battle. Mead is flowing, and Aerosmith's "Dude Looks like a Lady" is playing loudly above the rabble. Am I the Only one who would be worried by that song playing on Jukebox on the fang? Mind you I could imagine the wolves sing that about the Blood Angels though. Singing it about them? Pffft...The Blood Claws would be finding ways to make it play a nonstop track over their ship's comms. Oh didn't you here? Dante's new 'curse' rule was implemented after Lukas decided to screw with his comms. Unfortunately, the Old fart didn't realize Lukas isn't an independent character. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2418627 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quannum Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Outside the Tavern of the Long Fang, (wherein reside the most venerable of the Long Fangs), Ragnar Blackmane is giggling with a few of his Blood Claws... Ragnar: Ok, let me get this straight, if I do this, I get the keys to your brand new Fenrisian Wolf, right? Blood Claw Bob: Right. But you're SO gonna chicken out. Ragnar: Oh really? Bob: Really? Ragnar: REALLY? Blood Claw Bob: No doubt. Ragnar: Right! Watch this... With that, Ragnar runs at the tavern of the door, smashes through it with a mighty foot and runs inside. Bob: He's not seriously gonna... Blood Claw Billy: You haven't read his new rules yet, have you? From inside, a very audible Ragnar bellows "Heavy Weapons are for nancy boys and anyone that drinks mead is a big girl's blouse!" Billy: ...That's "Insane Bravado". Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2418758 Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaplain belisarius Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 :) I love this thread...have a keg of ale brother!:) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2418816 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Howland Greywolf Posted May 31, 2010 Author Share Posted May 31, 2010 Man I cannot belive that this thread has been resurected after so long. Heres a really short one for you all. On the day of Jergan's promotion Wolf Preist: Congratulations Blood Claw. Here is your holy Boltgun Jergan: Yay! 150 years later at his secound promotion WP: Congratulations Grey Hunter. I'm gonna need the Boltgun back. J: Aww! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2418973 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rune Priest Ridcully Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Outside the Tavern of the Long Fang, (wherein reside the most venerable of the Long Fangs), Ragnar Blackmane is giggling with a few of his Blood Claws... Space wolves should not giggle........ Seriously, I am now stuck with this mental image of Ragnar Giggling like a schoolgirl, pass the brain bleach please. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2419121 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Requiem of the Wolf Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Outside the Tavern of the Long Fang, (wherein reside the most venerable of the Long Fangs), Ragnar Blackmane is giggling with a few of his Blood Claws... Space wolves should not giggle........ Seriously, I am now stuck with this mental image of Ragnar Giggling like a schoolgirl, pass the brain bleach please. Honestly,I think they should just for the sheer horrible intimidation factor of it. Picture this big burly blood covered maniac with a Stormbolter in one hand and a gigantic rune-covered sword in the other,looking at you,and giggling. That would be an Armor changing moment for alot of people admit it. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2419202 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Typical Cricket Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Brian Blessed would be awesome voicing Bjorn :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2419248 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLoneWolf Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Oh my, this thread is so full of win and awesomecakez.... :D Yes and now that you have posted in it,you must try and come up with a joke to add to the rampant silliness.. I'll try, but I'm not good with jokes, just so you know.... :cuss Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2419333 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schertenleib Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 Brian Blessed would be awesome voicing Bjorn :D Oh yes I can hear mighty Bjorn now," Cry Havoc and let slip the dogs of war! I could have farted that in!" Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2419460 Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeoWolf Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 Harold the Wolf guard had been trying for weeks to best his lord in his monthly "Are you a Wolf or a Pansy?" arm wrestling contests. The overall winner was announced before the Brothers, but a keg of Wolfwhiz presented as well. Not only was the overall loser announced, they were given a Dark Angels robe to wear for the rest of the day. Having "won" the robe three times consecutively, Harold approached his Lord on the contest day. "Pardon me, Lord, but I must ask. How, by the fangs of Russ, do you always win?" The Lord grinned and looked down. "Really, I know not. Luck?" Harold could swear the Thunderwolf under his lord laughed at that. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2423129 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Typical Cricket Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 Hank the Blood Claw goes out drinking with his squad until about 3AM. Eventually, he stumbles home just in time to hear his cuckoo-clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, he cuckoos nine more times, hoping his wife would think it was midnight. Feeling very proud of himself, he goes to bed. The next day, his wife asks what time he got home, and he replies, "Midnight, just like I said." She said that was good, and for some reason she said "I think we need a new cuckoo-clock". When Hank asks why, she answers, "Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said 'Aw, bullocks!,' cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling." Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2423145 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 Pretty good there, Geowolf. I like this thread, but I shall not post a joke! Fengir, away! *trots away on Fengir* Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2423146 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Requiem of the Wolf Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 Pretty good there, Geowolf. I like this thread, but I shall not post a joke! Fengir, away! *trots away on Fengir* Its ok skirax,your regular posts are good enough jokes we will excuse you this time *grins* Just kidding Brother,but I couldn't resist when you present such an easy target. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2423150 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Branek Icefang Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 Ragnar Blackmane and his Wolf Guard are all standing across the battlefield from an army of Traitorous Guard, revving their Frost Blades into life they prepare to charge... Ragnar: Ok, theres what, 2300 of them and 9 of us? Wolf Guard Osric: Yeah, something like that.... Wolf Guard Alric: 5 of us actually, Bjorn, Halldor, Gest and Branek are still in the Land Raider, Wolf Guard Jotun: Yeah, not really a good idea to challenge Grimnar to a drinking contest.... Wolf Guard Skadren: Seriously, sometimes I wonder how those idiots made it past Blood Claws... Ragnar: Ok so 5 against 2300? How is this fair? Wolf Guard Jotun: What do you mean my lord? Ragnar proceeds to utterly smash his own Wolf Guard until he alone is standing before the onrushing hordes of Chaos.... Ragnar: Now its fair, ATTACK! The sad part is, Ragnar Blackmane actually does kill all 2300 Guardsmen himself... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2423217 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demonslayer Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 The sad part is, Ragnar Blackmane actually does kill all 2300 Guardsmen himself... Even Space Wolves need hobbies Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2423232 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Requiem of the Wolf Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 In a similar vein. Dawn breaks over the battlefield. Rows upon Rows of Bloodletters and Berserkers of Khorne heft their weapons,ready for the slaughter of another innocent world. The Chaos Lord Alaric Gorebringer paces back and forth,the heady scent of bloodlust emanating from his troops a sweet promise of bloodshed to come. In the distance,stepping up to the top of a hill in the Khornate army's path stood a single Space Wolf Wolf Lord,his Hammer resting on his shoulder,his shield crackling with energy and held against his hip. Bringing his hammer up he pointed at the Chaos Lord and yelled out "Come and meet your doom whelps..my Hammer hungers." before stepping back out of sight of the Chaos army. With a growl,the Chaos lord pointed at a squadron of 20 Bloodletters,their daemonic faces contorted with hunger "You twenty...go and slaughter that mangy cur and bring me his skull" The bloodletters let loose a hellish scream of hunger and charge across the battlefield and down the hill out of sight. Almost immediately after there is a fierce crashing and howls of pain waft up over the hill to the waiting host,till finally there is silence. The Wolf Lord,his shield slung behind him,his free hand now carrying a ale horn from which he drinks deeply and then calls out "Since it looks like I won't be getting a decent fight I might as well start drinking now...Or are you pansy's going to give me a real challenge?" and then once more steps back down the hill. At this point the Chaos Lord is frothing in anger..He points to several squads,a full hundred Chaos marines,Veterans all and yells to them to go down and take the skull of that Wolf. With a scream of rage,the Marines charge over the hill towards where the Wolf was standing. As they charge out of sight,the screams of pain and anger get louder and louder,going on for almost 20 minutes,before it finally ceases. A moment later,the Space Wolf steps back up into sight,his shield still slung,his hammer now strapped to his back. "Seriously now...At this point I am beginning to think I shouldn't have even bothered putting on my armor,let alone my weapons. Come Cowards..come and join your friends." and then for a third time,he steps back out of sight. At this,the Chaos Lord screams incoherently and orders the remainder of his army,a full 500 daemons and Chaos marines,accompanied by many machines of war,sending them all over the hill after the enemy that had continued to taunt them. As they crested the hill,a yell of "Finally!" was heard,then for a full hour,nothing but screams of pain and rage,the clash of weapons and bolter fire and the screams of tormented metal being sundered. Finally,cresting a hill,missing both legs crawled a lone Chaos marine. His blood pouring out onto the ground he crawled his way to the foot of the Chaos Lord and looked up at him,his face covered in blood and full of pain and shock. "It..It was an Ambush Sir...We had no chance...He had a ThunderWolf with him!" Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/178116-more-jokes-from-the-greywolf/page/3/#findComment-2423243 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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