Jump to content

More jokes from the Greywolf


Recommended Posts

After being wounded in battle, Pack Leader Steve goes to the Apothecary.

The Apothecary, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Steve in the eye, and said, "I've some bad news for you.

You've been hit by a poisoned bullet, and we are out of antidote. I'd give you two weeks to a month to live."

Steve was shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character. He managed to compose himself and walk from the Apothecary's office into the waiting room. There, he saw his best friend who had been waiting. Steve said, "Well my friend, we Space Wolves celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have been poisoned, and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints."

After three or four pints, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some Ultramarines who asked what the two were celebrating. Steve told them that the Space Wolves celebrate the good and the bad. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told

his friends, "I've only got a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with a broken tailbone."

The friends gave Steve their condolences, and they had a couple more beers.

After his new-found friends left, Steve's friend leaned over and whispered his confusion. "Steve, I thought you said that you were dying from poison? You just told your friends that you were dying from a broken tailbone!"

O'Malley said, "I am dying of poison. I just don't want any of them stealing my Thunder Wolf after I'm gone."

After being wounded in battle, Pack Leader Steve goes to the Apothecary.

The Apothecary, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Steve in the eye, and said, "I've some bad news for you.

You've been hit by a poisoned bullet, and we are out of antidote. I'd give you two weeks to a month to live."

Steve was shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character. He managed to compose himself and walk from the Apothecary's office into the waiting room. There, he saw his best friend who had been waiting. Steve said, "Well my friend, we Space Wolves celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have been poisoned, and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints."

After three or four pints, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some Ultramarines who asked what the two were celebrating. Steve told them that the Space Wolves celebrate the good and the bad. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told

his friends, "I've only got a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with a broken tailbone."

The friends gave Steve their condolences, and they had a couple more beers.

After his new-found friends left, Steve's friend leaned over and whispered his confusion. "Steve, I thought you said that you were dying from poison? You just told your friends that you were dying from a broken tailbone!"

O'Malley said, "I am dying of poison. I just don't want any of them stealing my Thunder Wolf after I'm gone."

 

I've never heard of these, what kind of witches are they

"It..It was an Ambush Sir...We had no chance...He had a ThunderWolf with him!"

 

lol that sounded alot like the orc jokes, warboss sent 40 orcs to kill a dawrf than 100 than 400 one comes back with no legs shouting "There were 2 of them"

well...the basis for that joke is older then I am...But generally it ends up being "there were two of them" but since this is supposed to be jokes about the new codex rather then just how generally awesome we Wolves are...I figured the Thunderwolf bit would get the point across just as well and fit in nicely.

  • 5 weeks later...

Inquisitor Trainee: My lord, you have encountered Space Wolves before, please, tell me what are they like?

Inquisitor Lord: Well, remember that old vid file you watched in the acadamy, you know the one, about the early Inquisition.. Torch hood, Torch food?

Inquisitor Trainee:Torchwood, sir?

IL:Yes, thats the one, and you know their Inquisitor lord?

IT: Captain Jack?

IL: Yes, thats the one, well each and every Space Wolf is like him, why do you think we don't send the Sisters of Battle in when the wolves are fighting alongside other marines, d** yaoi fangirls..... the fact the sisters "media" empire rivels that of the Dark Eldar is because of their exclusive film rights of Wolves meeting Dark Angels. (walks off muttering, whilst the trainee relises what most of the Astronomicon is.

That one came from a very weird conversation in my LGS, we were discussing possible parodies.

Next up

Space wolf: Fetch boy! Throws codex astartes, Thunderwolf chases after, catchs it, tears it to shreads, brings soggy remains to Space Wolf.

Space Wolf:Good Boy!

Commander Dante: *Sobbing like a baby while speaking w/ Bjorn the Fellhanded*

Bjorn the Fell Handed: Don't worry Dante, your still the second oldest warrior in the Imperium...

Commander Dante: I feel so...cheated...I'm going to go listen to "My Chemical Romance" and cry into my "Twilight: New Moon" pillow.

Bjorn: .... You've got serious issues, brother. You may want to seek the help of a licensed clinical psychologist to take care of your depression issues and vampire fetish. I'm going to drink some ale and go back to bed.

Dante: *Begins sobbing again* I want to be a venerable dreadnought!!! Where's my "Dashboard Confessional?!?!"

well now lets see.

 

 

an iron priest a wolf priest and a rune priest are gathered around a table in a bar

 

each is discussing how the wolves should continue. the rune priest is all for a slightly more religious wolf context with the wolves returning to nature and stronger runic ties.

 

the wolf priest believes that greater numbers with stronger pack members is ideal.

 

the iron priest nods at both but stays silent in their debate and orders an expensive ale

 

eventually the wolf priest and the rune priest debate becomes a more heated discussion as the mead flows each thinking they are correct in their belief.

 

each party has some support to its claims. weve all seen the power of rune priests and their anti psyker defence

 

the wolf priest however claims he knows best as he picks the new wolves and keeps them alive. so he obviously picks the better recruits.

 

again the iron priest nods at both but stays silent and orders another more expensive ale

 

now the rune priest and the wolf priest are really going at it.each begins to swear oaths at the others idea they get angrier and more stubborn.

 

once again the iron priest nods and orders the most expensive drink the bar has

 

the rune and wolf priest finally turn on the iron priest and demand to know why he is silent.

 

the iron priest stands up out of his metal chair and walks to the closest armoury. there the the rune priest and the wolf priest notice all the extra suits of terminator armour, power armour, melta/plasma guns flamers and all the new toys they get to use.

 

they see the abundance of cheap fire power they have. missiles lining the walls of the fang for miles and cyclone missile launchers to knock out a tyranid fleet.

 

he astounds both of them with how wrong they are. you can have all the powers of the elements and the strength of the mountains and the numbers of the horde and only be as strong as the equipment you use. surely that must be the answer they both thought.

 

when they are exiting the armoury the rune priest and wolf priest both thank the iron priest. they honour his intelligence with compliments at his wisdom.

 

when asked why he didnt say something earlier the iron priest merely replied. i went for a walk as i didnt want to be left with the bar tab. you two idiots followed me without paying

It is a sort of modified Joke, but here goes

 

the blood angels 2nd company is showing off on Ball, when they come across a lone Grey hunter standing near a forest.

Dante who is at the ceremony talks to one of the sergeants, and has him take his 10 assault marines over to see what is going on.

 

The space wolf vanishes into the forest, and Dante hears a loud series of noises.

 

The space wolf exits the forest alone, this time drinking some ale.

 

Dante now sends two platoons of assault marines to go see whats up.

 

the space wolf disappears again. once again there is a large amount of noise, and the Space wolf re-exits the forest.

 

Dante, now seriously POed sends his sanguinary guard, and all of his remaining marines into the forest.

 

Following a host of shouting, and chain-sword noises, one horribly injured Blood angel crawls out.

 

Dante says "whats the matter, you guys couldn't handle one Space Wolf", to which the Blood Angel replies "it was a trick sir, there were two of them"

Some wolf scouts were in a trench when one of them had an idea. He says to the others "watch this". He calls out "Hey Fungus Breath". An ork stands up from another trench and says "yeah". BAM - the wolf scout shoots him through the head.

 

Next night the scout tries it again. "Hey Fungus Breath". Another ork rises up from his trench and says "yeah". BAM - he too is shot through the head.

 

On the third night an ork says to his boys "Those space wolves think they are so smart. Well we orks' is smarter". He calls out "Hey Humie".

 

A voice answers "Humie aint here, is that you Fungus Breath".

 

"Yeah".

 

BAM.

It is a sort of modified Joke, but here goes

 

the blood angels 2nd company is showing off on Ball, when they come across a lone Grey hunter standing near a forest.

Dante who is at the ceremony talks to one of the sergeants, and has him take his 10 assault marines over to see what is going on.

 

The space wolf vanishes into the forest, and Dante hears a loud series of noises.

 

The space wolf exits the forest alone, this time drinking some ale.

 

Dante now sends two platoons of assault marines to go see whats up.

 

the space wolf disappears again. once again there is a large amount of noise, and the Space wolf re-exits the forest.

 

Dante, now seriously POed sends his sanguinary guard, and all of his remaining marines into the forest.

 

Following a host of shouting, and chain-sword noises, one horribly injured Blood angel crawls out.

 

Dante says "whats the matter, you guys couldn't handle one Space Wolf", to which the Blood Angel replies "it was a trick sir, there were two of them"

Bit late there brother. I allready used that one a page ago.

Bit late there brother. I allready used that one a page ago.

 

ahh, whoops sorry bout that mate,

 

I guess thats why you should always read all of the pages before posting your own, lol

Lol no worries. Great minds thinking alike and all that.

idea struck my head. Here goes:

 

It was a dark night on some unnamed, unknown, undiscovered planet. The forest was so dense that not even thermal vision could break through.

 

The Blood Angels and Dark Angels were there by some coincidence. Some say that Lukas tricks them to go to this planet.

 

After their surprising confrontation, they suddenly sensed a presence near them, in the forest.

 

They both sent in the first wave, consisting of no more than 30 Marines. All of a sudden, an extremely bright light shot through the sky.

 

None returned.

 

second wave. double the amount, but none returned. They saw the bright light again.

 

"Alright, what the heck is going on?", asked Dante furiously. Probably due to a presence of a sanguinary priest nearby that gets him cranky and furious.

 

"Don't know, don't care. Send in everything", said Belial.

 

And so they did. This time, the light shot not only once, but twice.

 

One of the Blood Angels returned while closing his eyes with his hands. His armor color completely faded away.

 

"It was horrible! The horror! The pain!"

 

"Report, brother!", said Dante impatiently.

 

"It was the Space Wolves codex, sire! The shear amount of goodness blinds my eyes!"

 

"Oh. I thought it was Edward..", said Belial.

 

Yeah, its a bit like Requiem.. Sorry if I offended anyone!

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.