Children of Penance - Prototype IA on first page

[Retributis]

Would it be cheesy/stupid to have a chapter of space marines that don't talk and communicate through hand signals and helmet vox clicks, similarish to the Sisters of Silence (obviously though they aren't all nulls)? Obviously there is a reason which Im still bashing out properly in my head, but thought I'd check on the concept before I forged ahead

[RagingGriffon]

It could be cool depending how you do it (as with anything). Maybe their voice boxes are ritually removed for some reason. Put some ideas down and leave it to the masses to decide :P

[kil78]

one important thing to remember is that "All Ideas are dumb". only the execution makes them not

 

space were-wolves, silly. Space wolves bad ass.

[Retributis]

Well I've only got a rough framework at the moment, they're Imperial Fist successors and uses Dorn's extensive use of the pain glove after the Heresy, and the "visions" gifted to the emperors champions of the black templars. The name is still undecided but will probably involve the word witness or witnesses somewhere.

 

Basically they, shortly after initation, suffer from visions of Dorn's discovery of his crippled father and slain brothers on Horus's battle barge, this has led to a chapter culture of penitence as they all feel the echoes of Dorn's grief. Over time this came to extremes were brothers would wrap their faces with scriptured bands and "seal" their helmets with purity seals administered by the chaplains, refusing to show their true faces unless in the presence of the chapter master, the enshrined corpse of Dorn, or the Golden Throne itself. It has also led to wide use of the pain glove across the chapter, with some brothers choosing to wear the device even into battle.

 

This grief has also led to a very insular outlook, with the chapter becoming increasingly incommunicable with other Imperial Forces, even other chapters, and their unwillingness to speak soon led to a vow of silence, with The Chapter Master becoming known as "The Voice" and sergeants being rebranded as "Speakers", as they acted as the vocal front for the squad as a whole, who otherwise "talk" solely through hand signs and voxed click codes.

 

Whilst the majority of chapters see the <insert name>s as Arrogant and aloof, the other sons of dorn are privy to their inner workings and have a measure of understanding and acceptance of the chapter, and as such work more closely with them than others.

 

 

Thoughts? ;) I have some more ideas about some unique "characters" but don't want to push too far too soon ;)

[Captain Juan Juarez]

You could alter them 'silence' premise a bit?

 

They refuse to speak to outsiders, for example nominating a single individual for the role when communication with other organisations or Chapters cannot be avoided.

[Retributis]

Isn't that pretty much what I said? lol

 

EDIT: Thing is I dont want them to be quiet because they're stuck up bastards, more that they are totally focused on their penitence and believe only the Emperor or Dorn can absolve them of their guilt. I want them to be on good terms with the other chapters and even the guard through the Speakers, but they are seen as... eccentric?

[Rabidus]

Think it is an excellent idea - chapter with strong character, unique psychosis and idiosyncrasies. Think the idea of almost self-flagellation and a vow of silence, plays well to the warrior monk aspect of Space Marines, which is often sadly misrepresented.

 

Have you had much thought to the cultural context of the chapter? Or their combat doctrine? - I think with regards to the flavour, you have an outstanding idea - what is going to carry it, is how the rest of the picture fits together.

 

Strange coincidence of the day: I'm currently working on a chapter that have the Sisters of Silence other trait (I.E are nulls) and are meant to be a splinter of the Black Templars.

 

Seeing as my chapter is pretty much universally disliked by other Imperial forces (due to the effect of the pariah gene on people, the irrational fear and confusion etc) and yours are seen as eccentric at the least, mayhap we could write in some shared experiences or an alliance - sort of brotherhood of the outsider kind of concept?

 

- Rabidus

[Retributis]

I've had a few ideas, one of the characters I was going to write about is actually a null lol, that was found on a chaotic world in a ruined chapel of the emperor after a vision by The Voice showed a being of great importance on this world, he's now basically a Chapter champion for The Voice's Honour Guard.

 

I've no idea where to start regarding homeworld or chapter organisation lol.

[Retributis]

Sorry for double post, but this DIY lark is harder than it looks >_<

 

Does anyone have any recommendations for areas of the galaxy which are relatively unexplored? I have a starmap up but it only lists the famous worlds so am I to assume that the largely empty areas are probably inhabited by the imperium but nothing has happened there or they are undiscovered or they are known about but unsettled?

 

I'm also struggling to tread the fine line between making my marines crazyubersaucefluff gods and "we like to go on caravan holidays" borish gits :/

[Tyrannicide]

I like the idea of silent Astartes very much, actually.

 

I say yes - go for it. As you have already described your basic ideas, you're already ahead of the game!

[Retributis]

What do people think of the name The Echoes of Dorn?

[Tyrannicide]

What do people think of the name The Echoes of Dorn?

^_^

 

I'm not so sure I'd consider that an appropriate name for a Space Marine Chapter. A nickname or moniker - absolutely, but a Chapter name? I'd consider looking elsewhere.

[Retributis]

Hmm.. that's what I thought. I'm sort of looking at it that they were given a name but in light of the visions it was changed at some point. Currently the IA Im writing out has gone for the cop out "zomg they lost your records" thing on their homeworld and origins, simply because its 4am and my brain is melting.

 

Also, I was going to position them in the Segmenum Pacificus. I know this is near the Sabbat crusade and as such my smell a bit of "zomg I can have my chapter master meet gaunt! ^_^"ness, but I have no such cheesy plans. It's just the area of the 40k universe I know best :P

[Tyrannicide]

Well if your brain is starting to melt, I suggest you sleep. Give it a break for a while, get some rest, and come back refreshed with a sharp mind! That's really some of the best advice I've been given previously regarding DIY Chapters. They can be a pain, but if you leave the drawing board for a short time and come back well-rested it can really help you (or your Chapter's creation) in the long run. ^_^

[Retributis]

Chapter Icon:http://img197.imageshack.us/img197/9289/chaptericon.jpg

Text on the scroll is undecided yet

Name: <not yet decided>

Founding: 17th - 200.M34

Reason for Founding: Created to support actions in the Segmentum Pacificus.

Origins: Little is known about the early days of the <name>, as their insular nature does not lend itself well to the sharing of history. Their first recorded appearance is listed around the formation of the 17th founding, and it is known that they are from the geneseed of Dorn. It is widely believed that the chapter was originally christened the Apostles of Terra, but this is uncorroborated.

Homeworld: The founding world from which the majority of aspirants were originally taken is long since dead, destroyed by a Xenos incursion. The world was originally a sparse obsidian landscape, punctuated by plunging ravines and sharp jagged outcrops. The planet was noted for the presence of beasts the locals called Reapers, crystalline monstrosities grown from the ground itself. Growing up to 7 feet in height and armed with razor sharp claws, they were a continuous threat to the native population, with their keen hearing and eyesight able to pinpoint even the smallest noise and movement. To this end the hunters of the world, named the Faroth, became adept at moving quickly and silently to remove these threats to the natives.

Since the destruction of their world, the Chapter has become fleetbound, recruiting from a variety of worlds in the Segmentum Pacficus.

Combat Doctrine: The <name> are largely codex adherent, though rather than squads being led by Sergeants, they are led by an equivalent rank known as the "Speaker", who provides a verbal front to those outside the chapter. In combat they maintain silence and use the chapters sign language and comms code to order their troops (as to utter words in the presence of the enemy is equal to heresy itself) but they are key in liaising with other forces prior to engagement.

To this end, the Chapter Master is also allowed to utilise his vocal skills, and is known to the Chapter as The Voice.

The <name> believe in a well rounded approach to battle, but are fond of ranged combat.

Beliefs: It was widely known amongst the forces of the Imperium that the <name> are insular and silent, but the cause is less widely broadcast. Shortly after initiation all Brother-Marines of the chapter begin to suffer intense visions of the discovery of the Emperor and the body of Sanginius by Rogal Dorn shortly after the battle against Horus. This instils in the marines a tremendous sense of guilt, equal to that felt by Dorn himself after the Heresy, for failing to protect the Emperor.

Due to this, the chapter has developed a tradition known as the Ritual of Sealing, where the brothers head and torso is wrapped in inscribed bands, completely hiding the marines true appearance. Their helms are then sealed on by the Chapter's techmarines and the helm or gorget is adorned with a purity seal by the Chapter's chaplains. This Ritual of Sealing even extends to verbal communication. The marines of the chapter believe that their true identity will be shown to the rest of the galaxy only when they can present themselves to the Emperor upon his return, and be absolved of their guilt by his forgiveness.

Necessity has thus created a variety of alternative communication methods, mainly utilising hand signals, but for communication network purposes the <name> use a unique form of clicking code, indecipherable to any who hears it bar the Echoes themselves.

This has led to many allies finding it initially frustrating to work alongside the <name>, as they come across initially as arrogant and unwilling to cooperate, especially to members of the Imperial Guard, who find the complete silence of the marines extremely unnerving. However the other chapters from the line of Dorn are allowed greater access into the inner workings of the <name> and as such have a greater tolerance for their behaviour.

The <name> do not deify the Emperor, retaining the belief of the Astartes of the Emperor as the ultimate warrior and pinnacle of humanity. Their guilt is based on martial pride rather than any religious belief in damnation.

Geneseed: The <name> use the geneseed of The Imperial Fists. It has not mutated to any noticeable effect beyond the manifestation of visions.

Battlecry: None

I submit this to get royally ripped apart :) Have fun!

[Retributis]

Anyone? I'd be grateful for any and all input

[Dazzo]

Well the sooner they get a name the happier i'll be to that end if I may offer a few suggestions

Silent Brotherhood/Blades/Death/Wrath/Shadows

Marines/Knights of Silence

The Voiceless

Deaths Echo

Heralds of Woe/the End

Rightous Sons

Wordless Doom

The Unspoken

[Brother Michaels]

i like rightous sons one

[Retributis]

What about The Voiceless Scions? I always imagined that marine chapters would be "The Something Somethings" or "Something of Something". Like The Penitent Sons, or Redemptors of the Past, Eyes of Dorn?

[Brother Michaels]

yea i like the name The Voiceless Scions

[Dazzo]

Scions of Silence works better in my view.

[Retributis]

Hmm.. I think Scions of Penance would be good, Scion means descendant of, and I feel having "Silence" or references to their non-speakingness would add a layer of unwanted cheese

[Dazzo]

Penitent Scions sounds even better :D

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

Penitent Scions sounds even better

 

Well it rolls off the tongue better, that's true. However it makes less sense to me. If you are a Scion you are a Scion of something, typically anyway. I don't really see anything wrong with Penitent Scions, but it kind of leaves me waiting for the of something that I mentioned above.

[Retributis]

I don't think Scions of Penitence is that clunky, although it doesn't fully describe the chapter... goddammit >_<