Donkey Kong Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 The Silent Children/ Sons The Voiceless Children/ Sons The Voiceless (Dazzo said this I believe) The Silent Children of Penitence Penitent Children Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/179544-children-of-penance-prototype-ia-on-first-page/page/2/#findComment-2128539 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retributis Posted September 30, 2009 Author Share Posted September 30, 2009 Descendants of Penitence? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/179544-children-of-penance-prototype-ia-on-first-page/page/2/#findComment-2130953 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retributis Posted October 2, 2009 Author Share Posted October 2, 2009 Named them now, any feedback on the rest of the stuff I wrote? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/179544-children-of-penance-prototype-ia-on-first-page/page/2/#findComment-2134346 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starblayde Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Basically they, shortly after initation, suffer from visions of Dorn's discovery of his crippled father and slain brothers on Horus's battle barge, this has led to a chapter culture of penitence as they all feel the echoes of Dorn's grief. In the same manner as the Black Rage of Sanguinius, a sort of Yellow Grief of Dorn embedded in the geneseed? If not, how is it triggered? Whilst the majority of chapters see the <insert name>s as Arrogant and aloof, the other sons of dorn are privy to their inner workings and have a measure of understanding and acceptance of the chapter, and as such work more closely with them than others I like this idea - do they compliment or contrast with the fighting styles of their brothers? Fist successors have lots of different combat styles, so do they mimic the ranged structure of the Fists themselves, or are they more chainsword choppy like the Black Templars? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/179544-children-of-penance-prototype-ia-on-first-page/page/2/#findComment-2134349 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retributis Posted October 2, 2009 Author Share Posted October 2, 2009 Well the way I saw it was similar to the visions granted to those Black Templars who go on to become Emperors Champions, just much more widespread. I always thought that the geneseed might contain genetic memories from the primarchs in, and in one rare case they are "unlocked". Exactly how I'm not sure... I don't know whether to have the chapter encouraging these memories in intiates somehow (through the use of a pain glove etc) or to have them come unbidden... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/179544-children-of-penance-prototype-ia-on-first-page/page/2/#findComment-2134470 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DooshSahaal Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 great chapter, retributis. very unique. -Evoking visions through pain would be good. kinda reinforce the monk-ish thing a little. that's why some wear the pain glove to battle, to evoke the visions and make them more zealous as well as fight a lot harder. -The visions could be inherent in the geneseed, and perhaps they were created in the (21st?) founding. the one where all the gypsy stuff happens with mutating geneseeds. -The geneseed stock could have been corrputed by some form of virulent warp storm or some such bad psycho-thing like a potent chaos sorceror's magick. Initially they thought themselves unclean, having been tainted by one such as a denzien of chaos, but soon found that their visions not only brought them closer to their primarch, but improved their finesse in battle and taught self-control and iron-will. this is a little cheesey on my part, i must say, but your chapter are like zealots but not "OMG QQ TEH_ EMPERZOR IS DAED!" *cough* basically i'm trying to say that although they are penitent, it's not because they are emo's for the emperor xD my brain isn't working properly anymore.. time to log off. take my advice as you wish. -Doosh Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/179544-children-of-penance-prototype-ia-on-first-page/page/2/#findComment-2135188 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retributis Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 Normally I'm not a fan of 21st founding stuff, but an attempted mixture at splicing the Geneseed of Sanginius with that of Dorn to temper the Black Rage could have resulted in the opposite effect, that of unlocking the memories of Dorn, could be a pretty valid reason, and it isn't too mary sue... Maybe as you say these visions start off weak with but glimpses of the event and through use of the pain glove they become stronger until they experience them as a whole. I think I'm settling into the "they encourage this" camp as even though they feel the shame and grief that Dorn felt, leading to their various rituals (the silence, sealing etc) it also feels to them like they are sharing his iron will and determination to absolve themselves. Thoughts? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/179544-children-of-penance-prototype-ia-on-first-page/page/2/#findComment-2138046 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retributis Posted October 6, 2009 Author Share Posted October 6, 2009 Bump before it disappears onto second page ¬_¬ Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/179544-children-of-penance-prototype-ia-on-first-page/page/2/#findComment-2140567 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Silent Knights could work as a name. :lol: I'm not sure people know how to splice bits of geneseed together in the 40k universe, so I'd hint at that rather than flat-out state it. Silent Space Marines... good idea. Having the memories pop up unbidden and unexplained works better in my view, although of course the apothecaries are still trying to figure out why, and how, such a phenomenon is occuring. Haven't got time to think of more ideas, but I'll keep an eye on this chapter. :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/179544-children-of-penance-prototype-ia-on-first-page/page/2/#findComment-2141166 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retributis Posted October 7, 2009 Author Share Posted October 7, 2009 I wasn't sure as to how far meddling with the geneseed had gone during the 21st founding but you're probably right in that its better to hint at it, maybe as a suspected reason than flat out statement. I'm really struggling at the moment with working up a decent homeworld and creation story for the chapter :/ I've got a few bits that I've done but am at work at the moment so will post them when I get home. I've started thinking up modelling possibilities as well and hopefully I'm going to start work on a squad soon, though no one has commented on the chapter icon yet :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/179544-children-of-penance-prototype-ia-on-first-page/page/2/#findComment-2141290 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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