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The Laws of the Space Wolves


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Came up with these during the apocolips game yesterday.

Note: imagine BRIAN BLESSED reading this for the full effect.

 

1.Thou shalt not move an extra inch in thine movment phase.

2.Thou shalt not trim thin wolf brother's beard whilst he is sleeping.

3.Thou shalt not have bumber stickers which read: when the rhino is rocking, dont come a'knocking.

4.Neather shall they read: you're farseer is my other ride.

5.Thou shalt not put hair remover in thine lords shampoo.

6.Thou shalt not tempt the Blood Claws with a squeky toy.

7.Thou shalt not throw water on thine rune preist to see if he melts.

8.Nor shall he be waighed against a duck.

 

Hope this cheers you guys up.

Add more if you can think of any.

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Blood Claws shall not ask Dreadnoughts, "So, how old are you?"

 

Dreadnoughts shall not ask Bjorn the Fell Handed, "So, how old are YOU?"

 

Thou shall not play fetch with the wulfen.

 

Thou shall not follow the rune priest around thinking 'can you hear me now' repeatedly lest though wishes to meet Freki and Geri personally.

 

Thou shall not refer to Lone Wolves as 'emo'

 

Thou shall not ask Lukas the Trickster for any type of advice, ever... no, really don't.

 

Thou shall not refer to Ragnar Blackmane as 'Rags"

 

All I've got for now.

Thou Shalt not refer to Adepta Sororitas as "Bolter Bitches", lest thou wish to be the first Astartes sent into orbit without the aid of a Machine Spirit.

Thou shalt not use a Lasgun as a laser sight for your bolter.

Thou shalt NOT make any derogatory remarks towards the Angels Sanguine regarding the shining, "sparkling" gold armor of their Chapter Master, recent popular book series notwithstanding.

Thou shalt NEVER replace one's Krak Grenades with flasks of ale. Ale is provided in the kegs located in the 11th and 12th seats of the Land Raider and Drop Pod.

Thou shalt NOT make any derogatory remarks towards the Angels Sanguine regarding the shining, "sparkling" gold armor of their Chapter Master, recent popular book series notwithstanding.

 

I am very, VERY guilty of this.

 

WLK

Never lick a frost axe.

Thundershields do not double up as sleds.

The rite of "Being covered in meat and then placed in the Thunderwolf pen" does not exist.

Never place a static[electricity] trap on the wolf lords goblet. (think hair poof).

lol never lick a frost blade.

thou shalt never challenge a space wolf to an eating or drinking competitive

thou shalt not paint thy nails :cuss

thou shalt not turn your bones into adamantium and become the wolverine!

thou shalt not give the wolves viagra to make the sisters faint.

all i can come up with at the moment.

thanks

antique_nova

Thou shalt not lift your leg when you need to pee.

Thou shalt not dig holes int eh garden to burry thy bone.

Thou shalt not smell your pack mates crotch in greeting.

Thou shalt not walk up to the great wolf with a leash and ask if he wants his walkies now.

Thou shalt not have staring contests with Ulrik.

Thou shalt not call Njal "Old Man Winter."

Thou shalt not mark thy territory in the mead hall.

Thou shalt not eat well done meat.

Blood claws shalt not hump thy brethrens' legs.

Long Fangs shalt not kill Blood Claws for such infractions. These matters shall be settled in staring contests with Ulrik.

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