The Burning Creed

[FireFist]

This is technically my first workable Fan Fiction. if you you are unclear on some things use the link in my sig or go to the Homegrown rules section for the facts of the ussal. I'm currently working on part two. This is the story of Chaplain Amriel of the Promethean Fists.

 

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The Burning Creed

 

Datafile 002: [The Cleansing of Nazal]

 

Chapter 1

Chaplain Amriel easily dodged the decapitated head the heretics threw at their position. As the head collided with the floor Amriel heard a faint sound of metal on stone. He quickly turned his eyes away from the fighting. A metal cylinder rolled out of the head.

 

“Grenade,” Yelled Amriel pulling a guardsman into cover.

 

The marines of Sergeant Dante's squad pulled more guardsmen into cover just as the grenade exploded. The explosion sent shrapnel flying into the air. The shrapnel ripped apart a squad of guardsmen crouched behind the barricade.

 

Through the smoke Amriel stood back up and began firing back with his plasma pistol. Brother Dante’s squad returned fire to the traitorous foes. The cough of their bolters filled the air alongside the screams of dying men. The grenade had not even left a scratch on the heavy armor of brother Calidus. The Ironclad dreadnought unleashed vast fire power from its hurricane bolter.

 

“Dante, How much longer until the Primo Victorious arrives” Yelled Amriel.

 

His force of marines desperately needed the redeemer’s assistance in this fight.

 

“Mere minutes,” responded the sergeant, tossing a grenade the traitorous guardsmen attempting to overwhelm their position.

 

Amriel shot a traitor in the chest with his plasma pistol as the fool stood up to observe them. With a roar the traitor guardsmen surged towards the entrenched marines. No matter how many of them fell they kept coming. A slight tremor heralded the arrival of reinforcements moments before a Redeemer pattern Land Raider crashed through the stone wall.

 

It stopped before the rushing guardsmen and annihilated them with a blast from its inferno cannon. The side hatch on the side closest to the marines opened. A devastator sergeant stepped out and beckoned for them to hurry.

 

“Come brothers we must leave” yelled the brown armored marine.

 

The squad of marines along with what loyal guardsmen survived rushed inside the Land Raider, carrying their injured with them. The Primo Victorious could not carry brother Calidus. The iron and ceramite construct was too big to fit through the hatches. Calidus assured them that he would be able to return to base safely.

 

“May the Emperor watch over you” Said Amriel to Calidus before closing the hatch.

 

With a roar the Redeemer lurched forward. Inside Amriel walked around the troop cabin stopping at each marine and guardsmen. He whispered blessings and assurances to the soldiers now under his command. Finally he when to the front towards the assault hatch and began a prayer for the battle-brothers who had fallen that day.

[FireFist]

Chapter 2

Amriel felt the Redeemer pull to a stop. The disembark light changed to green before the assault hatch opened. Amriel directed the marines to take the injured to the medicae tents. A marine garbed red armor and a golden helmet walked up to Amriel. A vault-pack was strapped to his back and he wielded a long halberd.

 

“Brother-chaplain Amriel,” exclaimed the marine.

 

“Lord Rampel” responded Amriel grasping the hand of the Chapter-Master of the Promethean Fists.

 

The two marines walked to the command tent. Amriel sensed something was causing his chapter-master to be deep in thought. As they entered the command tent Amriel saw a holo-map showing the battlefield. Red and blue bars moved on it representing allied and enemy troop movements. Also in the room was an Imperial General and a Princeps Maximus from the Polaris titan legion.

 

“That is General Mortimer,” Whispered Rampel. “And the other is lord Theto of the Polaris legion.”

 

Also present was Captain Alexander of the Promethean Fists second company. Amriel and Alexander shook hands then turned to the holo-map.

* * *

Amriel sat on an outcropping of rock on the edge of camp. The stutter of small arms fire and the booms of cannons sounded far off and faint. The Nazal Defense Legions had been decimated and the chaos forces were being reinforced by traitorous followers of chaos. Despite the fact that chaplains were supposed to be stern Amriel made a face as he sucked the nutritional past from the food tube.

 

“Brother-chaplain,” said a voice near Amriel.

 

‘Hello brother Bahoth” responded the chaplain. “Tell me, how are you after our earlier battle?”

 

“I am fine sir,” Answered Bahoth. “And I have been assigned to the ussals. I’m starting out as the passenger.”

 

“Good,” said Amriel with a smile. “The ussals are an elite group looked at with awe by the entire chapter. Make your sergeant proud.”

 

“Yes sir,” responded Bahoth with a salute.

 

The young marine ran off in the direction of the area reserved for the ussal squads. The boy had found an interesting path to follow.

 

+Amriel, This is Rampel+ Came the chapter-master’s gruff voice over the vox. +Come to the command tent. We have a mission for you+.

 

Amriel rushed over to the command tent. As the chaplain strode in he noticed Rampel’s customary vault-pack had been removed. A tech-marine moved forward to remove the vault-pack from Amriel’s back.

 

“We have a mission to do brother” smiled Rampel.

[FireFist]

Chapter 3

The ussal bounced over the debris strewn ground. Amriel stood at the turret while Rampel sat shotgun next to the driver. A storm bolter was mounted on the dashboard of the ussal. Amriel could hear the roar of five other ussals driving along in a crooked line.

 

“Sir five minutes till we make contact with the enemy,” yelled Bahoth, the driver, to Rampel.

 

Rampel held up five fingers to signal to Amriel the five minutes. Immediately Amriel checked the ammo feed and flicked off the safety. Below him in the cock pit Amriel could hear Rampel racking the slide of his storm bolter.

 

“And we are in,” yelled Bahoth as the ussals ploughed through the camp of the heretics.

 

Amriel pressed down on the firing studs of the assault cannon, unleashing a hail of lead slugs into the stunned and surprised rebels. Amriel could see the flashes from the plasma cannons of Brother Damien and Brother Siber. The beams from Brother Holt’s multi-melta cut through even the most heavily armored foes. The two heavy bolters cut swaths through the enemy.

 

+So where are we going+ Voxed Amriel.

 

+We’re doing a little reconnaissance+ replied Rampel, shredding a guardsman in a flurry of high explosive shells.

 

Amriel’s eyes widened as a chaos marine stepped out from behind a piece of rubble. As the marine raised his bolter he was shredded by the assault cannon.

 

+My lord we can’t locate the heretic leader+ Voxed Damien.

 

+All ussals fall back. Repeat fall back+ voxed Rampel to all the marines.

 

The six ussals turned around and began their race back to allied lines. As they hurtled along back to camp chaos assault bikes swerved into the chase from behind. Immediately the turret gunners turned their guns onto the new threat. Almost immediately a couple of the bikes exploded, launching shrapnel into the surrounding area. Others smashed into the craters left by the guns of the retreating ussals. A few more riders were lifted from their bikes and thrown to the ground by the guns of the turrets. In the final few yards the defense guns of the imperial encampment opened up. The few remaining chaos bikers were obliterated in a storm of cannon and gunfire.

 

After the ussals came to a stop the marines began to climb out. Many wore wide grins as if it had been the best ride in a while. Amriel felt exhilarated from the speed and ferocity of their raid. He suspected that Rampel had ordered the raid just so he and Amriel could ride in the ussals. He would have to talk to his own Chapter-Master about his recklessness. But now it was time for a plan to be formed. Amriel headed to the command tent.

***

"Rampel, you must stop being so reckless," said Amriel sitting across a small table from Rampel.

 

"What do you mean? I am not reckless," replied Rampel childishly.

 

"You know perfectly well that you are reckless," answered Amriel angrily, banging his fist down on the table.

 

"So? whats your point," asked Rampel. "It's what got me to Chapter-master."

 

"I know," snarled Amriel. "You need to think about what you do. Stop doing things that earn us nothing. Don't waste the lives of your marines."

 

"Yes Brother-Chaplain," muttered Rampel.

 

"Thank you," Sighed Amriel, placing his hand on Rampel's shoulder. "Now go speak with Captain Alexander. Get your marines ready."

[FireFist]

Chapter 4

Amriel stood now in the hold of a thunderhawk. His Crozius Arcanum was clipped onto his belt. The plasma and bolt pistols Amriel always had were in their hosters. Also in the thunderhawk sat two squads of marines and a ussal. The hawk’s hold, like so many others in the chapter, had been modified so it could accommodate two ussals by themselves or a ussal and two ten-man squads of marines when necessary. The thunderhawk hovered low enough so the marines could see the gargantuan guns, clutched in the fists of the titans, in detail. The void fields of the titan were so bright they could be seen shimmering in the morning light.

 

“Now that is what I call fire power,” said one of the marines from Dante’s squad.

 

“I doubt even the entire chapter put together could lift it in the first place,” countered another marine from Zuriel’s devastator squad.

 

Amriel heard the exchange between the two marines.

 

“Marines, remember that one well placed marine can do as much damage as one of those titans,” intervened Amriel.

 

With easy uniformity the army began to move forward. One after the other the ranks chimeras, tanks, and loyal guardsmen began to move forward towards the foe. The leonine forms of the warhounds raced forward, smashing through the defenses of the chaos forces. Soon cannon fire began to rain down on the charging imperial forces. A multi-rocket launcher sent rockets screaming into the lines of tanks rushing forward to support the infantry. As one the thunderhawks of the Promethean Fists streaked down. Some of them swooped low to disgorge ussals or predators into the middle of enemy forces.

 

Amriel watched as the imperial guardsmen slammed into the enemy lines. The fighting became close and deadly as loyalist grappled with traitor.

 

+We’re going in+ sounded the voice of the pilot over the intercom.

 

Amriel felt the thunderhawk dip down and rocket towards their target. The thunderhawk’s guns strafed the foe as it approached. The marines watched in awe and sorrow as a warlord titan fell to the ground. The behemoth crushed untold numbers of both loyal and traitor guardsmen.

 

The thunderhawk’s hatch dropped down allowing Amriel and the two squads under his command to drop out after the ussal. Immediately the marines opened up with their bolters and flamers.

 

+Marines, let’s move+ ordered Amriel.

 

Above them thunderhawk transports swooped low to unload not only predators but land raiders, redeemers, and crusaders. Fighters engaged enemy air units in deadly dogfights.

 

Amriel smashed his crozius into the torso of a screaming guardsman. He calmly placed a plasma bolt into another’s face. Amriel spear headed the advance of his group as they fought their way towards the rear of the enemy lines. A screeching chainsword slammed into Amriel’s crozius. Amriel blocked the commander’s return stroke before firing his plasma pistol into the traitor’s stomach.

 

Explosions shook the ground as rockets, guns, and munitions exploded. Amriel ignored them as he led his unit towards their goal.

***

Amriel walked through the munitions stores while his marines set their demolition charges. The devastators were holding a defensive perimeter around their allies as they set their charges. A sudden rattle of heavy bolter fire captured Amriel’s attention. Amriel saw Chaos Marines emerging from the smoke and rubble of the heretic camp.

 

+Boys lets go+ rumbled Amriel.

 

The marines finished setting the charges then ran to join their chaplain. With a signal Amriel sent them hurrying away from the munitions stores. When Amriel was sure the Chaos Marines were inside the stores he detonated the charges. Soon an explosion shook the ground as the munitions dump exploded.

 

As the battle progressed more and more was the concentration of traitor guardsmen at the front lines. Amriel noted that the Chaos Marines were moving to deal with the threat posed by the Promethean Fists. A ussal stopped next to Amriel’s group.

 

“Sir, orders are to tell you to head for the front lines,” reported the driver.

 

“Affirmative,” replied Amriel.

 

The ussal sped off. Its heavy bolter cutting down foes. Amriel set off at a jog towards the front lines. Suddenly a squad of Chaos Marines stepped in front of Amriel’s squads to block their path. Amriel activated his vault pack which sent him crashing into the Chaos lovers. The remains of Amriel’s strike force opened fire. The storm of bullets cut down what traitors were left from Amriel’s devastating attack.

 

When Amriel’s squads came within view of the enemy guard units they showed no mercy, killing them where they stood. Caught between the hammer of the Imperial Guard units in the front and the sudden attack from The Promethean Fists in the rear the enemy quickly crumbled. Many attempted to surrender but the Imperial forces offered no quarter. All the traitors died either fighting or surrendering.

 

Amriel immediately dismissed his strike team and gained control of a squad of assault marines. Soon Amriel and his newly acquired assault marines were sweeping through the ruined Chaos camp killing any survivors. Ussals and other vehicles swept through taking down those who were retreating.

[FireFist]

Chapter 5

Pausing from the killing Amriel knelt to examine a fallen Chaos Marine. The archaic armor was decorated with bronze demon heads. Amriel Also found symbols of Khorne, The Blood God. A large eight pointed Star of Chaos decorated the breastplate while a hydra decorated the left shoulder.

 

“Alpha Legion,” spat Amriel standing up.

 

“My lord,” said a Marine. “What shall we do?”

 

“Burn them,” replied Amriel.

 

Amriel shot the fallen Marine through its head with his plasma pistol. As he looked across the battlefield Amriel could see the flares of flamers. Already thunderhawk gunships and transporters were gathering up the marines and vehicles for transport to the awaiting fleet. A thunderhawk gunship set down in front of Amriel’s group.

 

“Amriel it’s time to go,” said Rampel standing at the hatch.

 

Amriel nodded, “Yes brother our work here is finished for now.”

 

Amriel and his squad climbed up into the thunderhawk. The gunship lifted off the ground and turned towards the Imperial camp. Amriel and Rampel walked through the medicae tents checking on the injured and talking to the apothecaries. Forty Marines had fallen in battle along with three ussals.

 

“My lord,” said Amriel. “The Chaos forces behind this rebellion were those of the Alpha Legion.”

 

“Then that means the Chaos Lord Arcade was here,” decided Rampel.

 

“Yes, and once again he escaped,” grumbled Amriel.

 

“It appears so,” said Captain Alexander walking up.

 

A fresh scar ran down the left side of the captain’s face. Like the armor of all the marines his brown armor was splattered with blood.

 

“With your leave sir I am taking Second Company back into space,” said Alexander.

 

“Go,” affirmed Rampel. “And may the Emperor watch over you.”

 

Alexander nodded in thanks to Rampel. Then he grasped Amriel’s hand and shook it. After giving farewell Alexander turned and left.

 

“Rampel I must take the mortal remains of our battle brothers to Gondhelm,” said Amriel to Rampel.

 

“Aye that we must,” replied Rampel. “Come brother lets go home.”

***

Amriel sat down in the command throne of his strike cruiser, The Phoenix.

 

“Set a course for Gondhelm,” commanded Amriel.

 

“Yes lord,” came the anonymous reply.

 

"Emperor preserve us," intoned Amriel.

 

........

[Roguemarine]

this is flowing quite nicely, one thing i kept saying to myself at the end of each chapter was that it feels like this is being rushed...some of the stuff is not well explained. for instance the way the chaplain feels the chapter master is reckless, i was expecting the story to lead into the chaplain actually approaching the master about that. I feel like you could put more into each chapter and make this go from good to great, keep up the good work.

[FireFist]

well the main issue i found when writing this is that my ideas usually start in the middle of the story. Besides if i did expand into details i would probably end up with 8 chapters and i would become a book not fan fiction. Ill work on getting a beginning written.

[Roguemarine]

whats wrong with have a book? if you end up with a book and lots of people like it, then you might make money on it B)

[FireFist]

part one almost complete (needs detail). posting part 2

[FireFist]

Part two posted.