Dosjetka Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 hi all, Ok so I've been re-writing my chapter fluff and I'm still doing it. I've posted the first two parts and the rest will follow soon. I want to give a enormous thanks to space wolf, Captian Lucas Raziel, The Nephilim, DarkUncle2003, UltimateJake, Ace Debonair, CantonWC, InquisitorHayn, Brother Michaels, Ferrus Manus and Brother Captain Josef for helping me build up my fluff to this! So here I present you version 1.1 of the IA: White Ravens! Cheers, BBL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- IA: White Ravens Battle-Brother Tral, 3rd Company of the White Ravens Origins T he White Ravens Chapter was created towards the end of M.39 (24th founding) to guard the south-western border of the Imperium against Xenos threats and Chaos raids. The exact series of events that lead to the decision of creating a new Chapter by the High Lords of Terra are not well known. But there is one thing that is certain: the whole of the Alerian sector fell to Chaos as the scars left on the many planets will show. Homeworld Voxen - Home of the White Ravens Voxen Voxen. Jewel of the Thrasos. Homeworld of the White Ravens. My home planet. The world I swore to protect the moment I entered the ranks of the Astartes. An oath I shall never forget or breach. I would rather lay my life down than see it's beauty and people tainted by any Xenos or Chaos filth." + Attributed to Veteran Sergeant Vataroel, 1st Company of the White Ravens. + V oxen is one of the smaller planets of the Thrasos system and even though it isn't lightly populated, it's native tribes, as well as the brothers of the White Ravens, respect the planet and it's environment as they seek to not anger the spirits, major and minor, of the land. And so, Voxen is one of the most beautiful planets in the system, albeit being one of the planets that has the most scars left from the Chaos attacks. Voxii - Inhabitants of Voxen T he Voxen inhabitants (generally called Voxii by off-planeters, even though each tribe is distinguished form another by it's name and the spirit it follows) are violent people, as they have to fight for survival against the ever-violent nature around them with each new day, and so, feuds are frequent in between tribes and even internal fighting is not uncommon. Voxii are generally prideful and arrogant people, a trait that has stayed with the Astartes of the White Ravens, along with their scorn for long-range fighting and hide-and-seek tactics. Tribes and Spirits - Rulers of the Land E ach one of Voxen's tribes represents one of the seven major spirits that live in the nature around them. Thus the Vatarian tribesmen follow the fire-spirit Vatar, the Vodassia tribe follow the water-spirit Vodas, the Zemljian (pronounced Zemlyian) tribe follow the earth-spirit Zemlja and so on with Planine, the mountain-spirit, who is followed by the Planinorians, the Zraket tribe and the air-spirit Zrak and finally the Zelenor tribe, followers of Zelen, spirit of all living things. For off-planeters, Zelen is considered as being the Emperor of Mankind, but to the Zelenorians, in fact all Voxii, the Emperor is not a god. He is the greatest hero of the Imperium and so he is greatly respected but not venerated. Also, the names of each tribesmen and tribeswomen, including their offspring, all have the beginning of one of the spirits' names in theirs and the brothers of the White Ravens keep their newborn tribal names (i.e. Vataroel of the fire-spirit tribe, now Sergeant Veteran Vataroel of the 1st Company). This non-belief has created frictions in between the Ministorum and the Voxii, but it has never come to actual conflict as warriors of the White Ravens accompany all emissaries of other Imperial organisations to protect them, but also make sure there is no harm done to any Voxii, the people they have sworn to protect. Their future. Beliefs to be developped Combat Doctrine to be developped Organisation The White Ravens do not follow the Codex Astartes as faithfully as other Chapters, yet they do not scorn it's teachings like the famous Space Wolves or Black Templars. One of the main divergencies is the fact that their Combat Companies have 6 Assault Squads and only 2 Tactical Squads and they only have one Tactical Reserve Company, the other being a second Assault Reserve Company. This reflects their aggresive tactics and preference for close-combat. (to be developped more) Gene-seed The degeneration of the Raven Guard gene-seed means several of the unique organs of the Space Marines no longer work properly or no longer grow. Raven Guard do not have the Mucranoid or Betcher's Gland. The Melanchromic Organ has a unique mutation that causes the skin of the Space Marine to grow paler. Eventually each Marine's skin becomes pure white while their hair and eyes darken, becoming black as coal. [from lexicanum] As descendants of the Raven Guard and fellow sons of Corax, the White Ravens share the most of the same flaws in their gene-seed, though they have tried to purify there gene-seed, with some minor successes. One of these small changes was their hair colour, which does not turn jet-black as the Marine gets older, but instead keeps the aspirant's original hair colour. This purification quest was predominantly caused by the shame of the Astartes of the White Ravens in having the same physical features as their founding Chapter. (refer to Beliefs section) Battlecry to be developped Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/189929-ia-white-ravens-version-11/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted January 20, 2010 Author Share Posted January 20, 2010 next update: 21/01/09 please post your C&C! cheers! BBL Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/189929-ia-white-ravens-version-11/#findComment-2254505 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ApostlesOfRedemption Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 The general idea so far is fine. Needs more fleshing out before folk can give you good C&C. It's = it is. Its = possessive form of it. That's about it from me. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/189929-ia-white-ravens-version-11/#findComment-2254609 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted January 22, 2010 Author Share Posted January 22, 2010 Ok, well i've embelished the Ia a bit but I still haven't found time to add any more fluff...i'll get it on here probably during the weekend. C&C always welcome! (although there isn't much to comment on...yet...) BBL Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/189929-ia-white-ravens-version-11/#findComment-2257140 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 ok well, I've got some bad news: I've lost all my papers with all my chapter fluff on them. I've been looking all weekend for them and still haven't found them so I'll probably have to re-write a lot of the stuff. Sorry about that folks, probably won't be an update for about another week. Until then, I say farewell. BBL Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/189929-ia-white-ravens-version-11/#findComment-2260669 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted January 26, 2010 Author Share Posted January 26, 2010 Ok folks, small update in the organisation part. Next Update: probably later on today or tomorrow. Bye, BBL Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/189929-ia-white-ravens-version-11/#findComment-2261573 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 Firstly, let me congratulate you on you're sig. Very witty. Who could have come up with that I wonder... Onto the IA: Liking the colour scheme. For the IA as a whole, I don't really see a historical/tactical theme. For instance, we have the Roman Ultramarines, Genghis Khan's White Scars, the German Junker Black Templars, The Viking Space Wolves and the African Tribespeople Salamanders. On the other hand, we have Stealthy Raven Guard, the Shooty Iron Warriors, and the Manic World Eaters. I don't really see much of a unifying theme here. That said, a little fleshing out would work wonders. Keep up the great work Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/189929-ia-white-ravens-version-11/#findComment-2261617 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted January 26, 2010 Author Share Posted January 26, 2010 Onto the IA: Liking the colour scheme. For the IA as a whole, I don't really see a historical/tactical theme. For instance, we have the Roman Ultramarines, Genghis Khan's White Scars, the German Junker Black Templars, The Viking Space Wolves and the African Tribespeople Salamanders. On the other hand, we have Stealthy Raven Guard, the Shooty Iron Warriors, and the Manic World Eaters. I don't really see much of a unifying theme here. That said, a little fleshing out would work wonders. Keep up the great work Hm...I see what you mean. It will be fleshed out as I go along, but as I've said, I have lost my draft IA so I have to do most of the stuff all over again. I hope that when I've finished re-writing it, then it may seem a bit more themed. Thanks for the C&C. BBL Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/189929-ia-white-ravens-version-11/#findComment-2262151 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 No problems. I had the same thing said to me. I like the IA though. Have you got a plan as to what the theme is going to be? PS, I forgot to mention, you can also have a religious theme-I saw an army of Muslim Smurfs, and it worked quite well. Its what inspired me to make the Angels Crimson based on, well, Angels. For instance, the Librarians are called the Ophanim, who are a kind of Angel, but they appear to men as a circle of flesh with wings and covered in eyes-perfect for a Librarian. The chapter master always takes the name of the founding captains, Uriel, Gabriel, Michael and Raphael. Coincedentally, these are also the four Archangels. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/189929-ia-white-ravens-version-11/#findComment-2262234 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted January 27, 2010 Author Share Posted January 27, 2010 ok good B) well...for the spirits, their names are croatian words that mean the element they represent, so i thought of developping that but still have to do some more research. Hm...i'm not the religious kind, even though i could still do a religious themed chapter...i'll have to think about it. Thanks for the idea. BBL Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/189929-ia-white-ravens-version-11/#findComment-2262758 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted January 30, 2010 Author Share Posted January 30, 2010 Small update in the Gene-seed section. Please tell me what you think of the hair colour thing: is it a good twist or a stupid thing to put down? Thanks, BBL Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/189929-ia-white-ravens-version-11/#findComment-2267077 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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