The Angels Crimson

[Walter Payton]

Chaplain Gabriel looked the Legio veteran in the eye. He smiled coldly, his handsome face twisting into a sneer. He reached up with his burning hands and disconnected his helmet with a hiss of pneumatics. At his side, a Crozius Arcanum swung from a thigh loop. He held his helmet blazing in his left hand, and made a sharp salute, with his right, his flaming gauntlet leaving a trail of fire in the night air.

'Let me tell you about my chapter, Ancient,' he said in his high, clear voice, 'We are the Angels Crimson, and our deeds have turned the stars red with the blood of the Emperor's enemies.'

Extinguishing one of his gauntlets, Gabriel bent down, and picked up the Iron Gauntlet.

The Angels Crimson

"Renegades and Traitors! A ring of steel surrounds your rotten city! We will crush all those who dare to continue to resist the will of the God-Emperor. Abandon your posts! Abandon your guns! Abandon all hope! For the Emperor!"

Chaplain Markhov of the Angels Crimson, Siege of Dryussina, 456th Day

"But the False-Marines are madmen! I have lost nine thousand men trying to take that very fortress? What difference can fifty men, even fifty space marines, possibly make?"

Lord General Varro

"There is but one way to take a fortress, guardsman,"

Chapter Master Raphael Domitian

"What is that, marine?"

Varro

"Blood and Iron"

Brother Volokhonsky, 6 Company, Squad Patria, "The Spear of Noxxara"

'What is it to be an Angel Crimson?'

'It is to be a Weapon of Righteousness'

'What is it to be an Angel Crimson?'

'It is to be a Weapon of the Emperor'

'What is it to be an Angel Crimson?'

'It is to fight with wisdom, and strength'

'What is it to be an Angel Crimson?'

'It is to be a Deliverer'

'What is it to be a Twilight's Hand?'

'It is to be a defender to those who cannot defend themselves'

'What is it to be an Angel Crimson?'

'It is to be a master of the four suites of war:'

'Skill, Strength, Wisdom and Fear'

A recital of the Angels Crimson pledge of service, as uttered by every recruit on their ascension to Battle Brother.

Battle Cry

"Abandon all hope!"

or

"URAAAA"

(Ura means Emperor in the tongue of the Angels Crimson's Homeworld)

Motto

Sanguine et Ferrum

Blood and Iron

Introduction

The Angels Crimson are an illustrious and mighty chapter. Their marines are recruited from the savagest of hive gangs, or the fiercest of forest tribes. Their history is a litany of shattered foes and victories won through grit and determination under the light of a million suns. Despite this, the Angel's Crimson bear a terrible curse, which has led them to fight in ever more bloody wars and has made them pariahs amongst some of their fellow Astartes. This curse is one that has its origins in a crucible of a hopeless battle, ten millenia ago.

Captain Arthurus of the Blood Angels cut another daemon's head from its shoulders. The red-skinned abomination tottered, then winked out of existence in a flash of mauve. Arthurus looked across the fields of Signus Prime. His brothers, each one clad in the scarlet armour of the Blood Angels, cut their way through the unholy host of warp-spawn that was arrayed before them. Dante and Orlando, blood brothers, stood back to back, each firing their plasma guns through the daemonic ranks, each blinding shot incinerating another hell-spawn. Lucas decapitated a charging bronze beast with his chainaxe, and Doranus crushed skulls with his power fist, the crackling energies tearing the hell-host apart. At the head of his honour guard, Chapter Master Tylurus swung his mighty thunder mace across the enemy ranks, each crackling sweep flinging a coterie of daemons into the air.

At the point where the fighting was thickest, a crimson glow suffused the faces of the warriors around them. At the centre of a shattered cahedral to heathen gods, Arthurus's primarch stood, great pinions unfurled, Spear of Telesto in his right hand. Before him was a terrifying creature, a mountain of muscle, armour, horn and axe. It spoke with the voice of eons.

'I am Ka'Bandha, Master of Blood,' it boomed.

'For the Emperor,' cried Sanguinius, and sprung forward, twirling the Spear above his head. Ka'Bandha's hell-forged axe met archaeotech spear. The shockwave sent out a ring of dust and shattered the ruins. The two creatures crashed together, then rose, entwined, their great wings beating furiously. Then Arthurus's hearts skipped a beat, as the daemon crashed to the ground, landing upon his primarch.

'Sanguinius!' the cry, ichoate and vengeful, tore from Arthurus's lips. As he charged towards the daemon he saw other red blurs fly, into Ka'Bandha, the assault marines tackling the beast to the ground, hacking and slashing. Bellowing, the daemon dissipated in a blaze of red fire. The Blood Angels who had been upon it fell to the ground, denting their Mk V plate.

Arthurus fell to his kness beside the limp body of his primarch. Sanguinius was utterly still, his noble, chiseled face was strangely peaceful. Arthurus shook, his armour clattering and whirring. A red haze was descending across his vision. A daemon leered at him out of the mist.

'Pro Sanguinius Rex,' howled Arthurus, activating his chainsword, and giving in to the Rage.

Thus was born the Black Rage, the Curse of Sanguinius. Its shadow gives the Blood Angels a furious edge in combat. But it is a power that consumes a man, eating away at his psyche until there is nothing left but a desire to rend and slay. The Angels Crimson, as descendants of the Sanguinius bloodline, suffer from this curse as much as any other chapter, but unique genetic deficiencies have made it a greater pain to the Angels Crimsons aesthetic minds.

Now the Angels Crimson campaign ceaselessly to find a cure for the Rage. They raid mighty strongholds of the Ruinous Powers for simply a scrap of data regarding the Rage. Their crusade to recover a cure shall, in the words of their chapter master, Raphael Descartes 'pain the stars Crimson!" In lost library worlds, in the depths of the Eye, and in the lethal environs of death worlds, the Angels Crimson search tirelessly for a cure for the Rage.

Origins and Founding

"Great God-Machine. What have we done?" Magos Ferranus, Adeptus Mechanicus

The Angels Crimson were an attempt to utilise the superior geneseed of the Sanguinius bloodline. Spurred on by the sucess of the Lamenters creation, the Adeptus Mechanicus spent decades honing the geneseed of the Angels Crimson for the 23rd Founding. A Magos Ferranus was charged with heading the project. Hundreds of aspirants, from scions of noble houses to feral tribesmen, and other servants of the Emperor were injected with the geneseed. The results were utterly shocking.

Every aspirant of the Angels Crimson had the same facial features. Whilst there was modest variation in hair and skin colout, each man bore upon him facial features of his primarch Sanguinius. How this happened is unknown, but it is conjectured that Magos Ferranus's tampering went to far, deleting DNA bases that were vital to variation. Magos Ferranus himself expressed shock, normally an emotion that is associated with fleshlings. Each ma was the spitting image of his primarch. Whilst an aspirant may have been robust, or thin faced, each now bore the noble countenance of the Angel. The Ministorum adepts that came to bless the new chapter declared it a blessing, and a miracle. Aside from their drastically altered physical features, the subjects seemed normal, so power armour fresh from the fires of Olympus Mons was issued and a cadre of veterans from Blood Angels sucessors were chosen to train the new chapter. They fought for the first time alongside a strike force of Doom Eagles during the Voldanna Evacuation, and all seemed normal. Not a single brother fell victim to the rage.

All this changed with the 13th Black Crusade.

The armies of the World Eater Lord Harkon attacked the fortress world of Memor, a world that formed a lynchpin of Imperial strategy. This was the first time the Angels Crimson had faced the forces of Khorne, the greatesy enemy of Sanguinius. It was on the bloody sands of Memor that the degenerations happened. Men became vampiric monsters, turning upon the World Eaters and slaughtering them in an animalistic rage. Their once noble Sanguinite features were marred by red eyes and huge fangs. To see the face of Sanguinius marred in such a fashion is an affront to the aesthetic senses of the Angels Crimson. They see the Black Rage as a curse from the Emperor and those who fall as being weak. Their Death Company exist not for glory, but to redeem themselves in the fires of combat. Because they all look like Sanguinius, who is regarded by the Angles Crimson as being the perfect warrior and one to aspire to, it is viewed as a great crime to deface his features, which they view as a blessing from the Angel Himself, with the fangs and red eyes of an Angels Crimson suffering from the Black Rage. If a brother succumbs, his name will be struck from the Chapter records, and his insignia will be burned from his body and armour. His armour will be painted black, like that of the rest of the Death Company, and he will be forever remembered as one of the Shamed, whose only function is to seek a glorious death in combat. This formation is one that can crush armies underfoot, for there is no more terrifying foe in the Galaxy than an Angel of Death seeking redemption.

Homeworld

"In the beauty of the jungle, the artist finds inspiration, the philosopher finds knowledge, but the warrior finds death."

Old Angels Crimson proverb.

Noxxara

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/mediawiki/images/d/dd/Cadia.jpg

N

oxxara

The chapter makes its home in the Noxxara system. A small system on the Galactic Northern edge of the Imperium, only two of the five planets are inhabitable, Noxxara Primus and Noxxara Tertius. On Noxxara Primus, a vicious yet beautiful death world, the chapter's main fortress monastery, Telum, stands in the centre of the forests like a vast obsidian obelisk. Noxxara Primus is a death world, its equatorial forests some of the most beautiful in the Imperium, yet filled with deadly and dangerous creatures. It is here that the chapter conducts its training regime. Sometimes, the lords of the chapter declare a Contest of Spheres. Each company selects five warriors, usually the Captain's command squad, and they set off into the wilderness. Whilst there, they must stay alive, for many of the creatures are a match for any Astartes, and hunt the other teams. The team that is the last one standing is the victor. When a team captures the other, they mark their position with an orbital beacon, and a shuttle will collect the losers. Though the marines are only supposed to capture one another, the losers are carried back to Telum, trussed and bound, where they are forced to endure a series of ritual humilliations. After this has taken place, the winners then have to fight the losers in a training battle, in which they suffer a humilliating defeat (only once has a team beaten both challenges) so that none can call themselves victor, and thus fall victim to the greatest sin of all: pride.

Noxxara Tertius is the primary recruiting world. The massive hives of the planet hold those labourers who toil to extract the precious promethiate gases on the moons. The hives are home to a series of clan gangs, which require a large Arbites presence to keep under a semblence of control. This gives the chapter two sources of recruits. The clan gangs, whose internecine wars and heists often turn a plentiful harvest of recruits, and the Arbites, whose attempts to keep the gangs under control usually end in a shoot-out. The effect is a rivalry within the chapter, and though this can sometimes turn nasty, it is not prohibited, indeed, it is actively encouraged by the Lords of the Chapter, who see it as all for the good of strengthening both sides.

Recruitment and Indoctrination

"You are not in Kansas any more..."

Pre-Unification Fragment, Source Unknown

The aspirants are returned to Noxxara, where they are delivered to the chapter's training facility at Vindolanda, a small tribal village in the frozen northern ice caps. The aspirants are kept in cramped, difficult conditions, with only a pair of leggings for protection. This tends to weed out the weakest early on. After a series of brutal training exercises, the recruits begin the first of the four main trials, the Trial of Skill: The aspirants must journey into the polar ice sheets, where the fierce high winds will freeze a man within hours, armed only with a knife. The aspirants are told by an Apothecae adept that they have perhaps nine hours to live out on the ice. The only way to survive is to hunt down and kill and skin a polar wrym, a ferocious predator with skin that can protect them from the fierce winds. After this, they must then endure a further five days without food. This is intended to give them time to reflect on their duty to the Emperor.

When the trial ends, and the men are picked up, they leave Vindolanda, and move Southward to Novalya. This is the second of the three training camps that they must journey through. At this camp, they recieve their first implants, as well as guidelines on how to use them, followed by more months of training. The training is followed by the Trial of Strength. First, the aspirant must run a three-day marathon across the grassy tundra. Then, they must do a variety of strenous physical excercise (a drill sergeant's favourite is forcing the aspirants to do press ups with many multiples of their body weight stacked upon their back) followed by a series of contests of strength against a 1st Company veteran. Obviously, in this stage, the aspirant is judged not on whether or not they win, but on how much they lose by.

After this, the remaining aspirants, (usually numbering half of their original number), hike Southwards to Zemyla, the third camp. Here they perform the Trial of Wisdom. This trial has three stages: Trial by Fire, Trial by Rock, and the gruelling Trial by Ice. In the Trial by Fire, the aspirant must negotiate a treacherous hot lake of mud, seeded with volcanic activity, and, for good measure, landmines. The aspirant's wisdom lies in whether or not he can navigate the mud, and avoid the mines. the Trial by Rock forces the aspirant, to arrange a series of rocks in a pile, and it is as much a test of strength as a test of skill. The Trial by Ice is the most gruelling. Given a knife, the aspirant must swin under a sheet of ice, as far as he can, then cut his way back out. It is a test of the aspirant's wit as well as stamina. He may leave it too early, and disgrace himself, or leave it too late...

Finally, the aspirants embark on the Trial of Fear. The aspirants trek from Zemyla to Telum, through five hundred miles of predator infested forest. Beforehand, each aspirant is given whatever personal weapons they had when recruited, and told to set off. They must arrive at Telum within fifty days of setting out, and must collect the skull of a great beast on the way. When they arrive at Telum, they are given their geneseed implant, they welcomed by their battle brother's of the Scout Company with a feast, and a curt smile from their Scout Sergeant. When they make Battle-Brother, they are told the tale of the Signus Prime assault, and of their chapter's great curse.

Chapter Organisation

"You are a battle brother of the glorious Eighth. Your name is now part of the glorious roster that has woven a long and proud path through our history. Take up your weapon, son of Noxxara, and go forth. Let them fear you name, but let them taste your shadow."

Captain Vos, Michaelians, Angel's Crimson

The current chapter strength stands at ten companies, or Brotherhoods, plus the recruits. One company always remains at Noxxara to guard their fortress monastery and environs, whilst the other twelve make war across the galaxy. They set great store by martial honour and battle, and every three hundred years they embark on a Diaspora. All their companies set off across the galaxy, and are expected to return on Uternicht, their holy day. Their quest must take one year from beginning to end, and they tell tales of their valour when they return to Noxxara.

The Chapter is ruled by the Senatus Nox. The Captains of the Twelve Spheres, the Angels Crimson's companies, sit on the Senatus, as does the Chapter Master, the Master of the Forge, and the three most senior dreadnoughts. The Master of Chirurgeons (chief apothecary), and the Lord Epistolary sit on the Senatus, as does the Master of Sanctity. The Angels Crimson may never go to war without the vote of the Senatus Nox. The Chapter Master's vote counts as three, the Master of the Forge, Master of Sanctity, Lord Epistolary and First Captain's for two, and the Dreadnought's for one. However, the Dreadnoughts have the power to veto any action taken by the council, if all three are of the same mind. The council meets either aboard the Seraphim, their fortress-flagship, which has been upgraded many times, so that its firepower matches that of the most powerful Imperial battleships, or on Noxxara Primus, atop Mount Unas, which is inacessable to those without flight. The Senatus was formed so that the Chapter Master would never become victim to the sin of arrogance, nor would he become a dictator, for both these sins open the door for Chaos to creep in. The dreadnoughts have the power of veto because of their ancient and experienced nature. They provide valuable counsel to the less experienced Captains, and speak for the ancients of the Chapter, and as the voice of the chapter's fallen, the battle-brethren viewing them as a kind of link between living and dead.

Chapter Master Raphael Descartes

Chapter Master Raphael Descartes has led the Angels Crimson for only five years, after the much loved Gabriel Parmenion fell to an Autarch of Il-Kaithe. Before Gabriel died, he whispered his last request, for Raphael, who had at that time only just been promoted to his honour guard, to be clad in the Armour of Iron and given the chapter's ancient relic weapon, the Spear of Blood. Much controversy and debate followed, for Raphael was less than one hundred Terran years old, and newly promoted. Many senior captains were disgusted that they themselves had not been chosen. However, when consulted, the Ancients of the Chapter, including the Chapter's first master, Uriel Severus, decreed that the Masters word was law. Thus was Raphael Descartes elevated to the rank of Knight Imperial, Chapter Master of the Angels Crimson.

Since his promotion, Raphael has led the Angels Crimson into ever more bloodier wars in an attempt to find the cure for the Curse of Sanguinius. His obsession with a cure is becoming nearly total. Some have expressed reservations against his policy of redemption, but most are placated by his mighty war record. It is with no doubt that Descartes is a pious and noble man, who will lead the Angels Crimson into a glorious new millenium.

I Company (Incarnadines)

The 1st Company is comprised of Veterans. Few marines make this prestigious cut, and fewer still survive more than a handful of bloody battles. The 1st most commonly seen in its Vanguard Armour, and the Angels Crimson's jump pack assaults are legendary in their effectiveness. The most common method is for the chapter's air power to fly overhead at high altitude, the Vanguard Squads leaping from the rear of their gunships and activating their jet packs as low as possible, so as to maximise the crushing impact of their landing. Unlike most chapters, the Angels Crimson insist that their Veterans train in both Sternguard and Vanguard disciplines, and the 1st is a highly flexible formation that can adapt to any tactical eventuality, be it storming an Iron Warrior's fortress, holding the line against a Tyranid hive fleet, or a search and destroy mission against a Tau ethereal. The obvious drawback is that the 1st cannot excercise the same degree of aptitude in each discipline that other chapters can, but the Angels Crimson see this as a worthy price to pay.

Whilst the Angels Crimson maintain some suits of Terminator Armour, they do not have the same resources as other chapters, and so only maintain around 30 suits. These are reserved for high ranking members of the Librarium, Chapter Command Staff and Chaplaincy, they still maintain two Terminator Squads within the 1st, Squad Thorius, known as the Argeads, after the hive gang most of them were recruited from, and Squad Rezhnov, the Sarrisae, who specialise in boarding space hulks. Sergeant Rezhnov wears a fearsome battle helm, fashioned from the skull of the first genestealer he killed. These squads are rarely seen on the field of combat, however, and normally fight in power armour, though their suits of Terminator armour, go with them always.

II-VII Companies (Cherubim, Thrones, Dominions, Virtues, Powers, Raphaelians)

The 2nd to Seventh Companies are the tactical companies of the chapter, each retaining the standard Codex organisation of six tactical squads, two assault squads and two devastator squads. These form the backbone of chapter operations in theatre, and their valour has been the shield of Noxxara on countless occasions. The Angels Crimson eschew the use of reserve companies.

VIII-IX Companies (Angels, Michaelians)

The chapter's assault companies, led by Captain Vos of the Eighth and Captain Nguyen of the Ninth are fierce rivals, and constantly compete. Nguyen was drawn from the Arbites of Noxxara Tertius, whilst Vos was a lowlife hive ganger. Their past makes them rivals, but not enemies, and their friendship is almost as strong as their combat records. The Angels Crimson have no dedicated Devastator companies.

X Company (The Shamed)

The Death Company, the Shamed, are a formidable sight. They can overcome any foe with sheer rage alone. Their black-painted armour suits are a fearsome sight on the battlefield, and they are shepherded into battle by fearsome chaplains. Nothing, not armour, not skill or the mightiest gunline, is proof against their wrath.

Recruits (Infants)

The recruits of the chapter are ordered into a loose fraternity, and squads are allocated on a need basis to the comanies in the field. The exception is when the chapter goes on its Diaspora. Then, the recruits are left at Noxxara, under the command of the three Senatus Nox dreadnoughts, to defend it whilst their future brethren are away.

Reclusiam (Pastores)

The chapter's Reclusiam consists of around a thousand menial workers and servo-skulls, as well as a single techmarine who tends the Chaplains wargear. The chaplains themselves number roughly twenty, plus a handful of trainees. Their most famous member is Reclusiarch Markhov, who has taken the liberty of installing custom-built gas jets into his gauntlets, which wreathe them in flame. He also has a massive vox-speaker built into his collar, so he can broadcast his litanies of death on a battlefield scale.

Librarium (Ophanim)

The chapter Librarium of the Angels Crimson records their many triumphs in the Censum Invictus, their massive roster of victories. It records their defeats in its Censum Of Woes, and this is displayed in the Chapel of Penance in Telum, whilst the Censum Invictus is displayed in the Chapel of the Forest Walker. The scraps of information regarding the Angels Crimson's founding is kept in a sealed stasis vault in the Hall of Trophies.

Combat Doctrine

"Spill their blood, certainly. Gut their leaders, by all means. But never forget: They must fear you as you do it."

Scout Sergeant Zakaev of the Infants

The Angels Crimson have evolved to favour speed and stealth over hammer blows. They are a finely honed sabre, rather than the hammer of an Imperial Guard tank company, or the brutal claymore of a Titan assault.

What the Angels Crimson are most famous for is their use of psychological warfare. Different companies manifest this technique in different ways. The seventh company favour a noisy and intimidating armoured assault. The third company make extensive use of morale-destroying flame weaponry and napalm strikes, the fifth are masters of drop pod attacks and the ninth have fitted amplifiers to their armour that project their war cries at a terrifying volume. Many foes have simply surrendered out of fear before a single shot is fired. A notable incidence was during the Rua'Yan Planetstrike, where a scout squad attached to the Raphaelites assasinated a Tau Ethereal and Shas'O with a roadside bomb, flipping their Devilfish and killing the entire Tau command section just as an Angels Crimson drop assault screamed from above. The Tau surrendered as the first pod touched down. None were spared as a consequence.

Another notable facet of the Angels Crimson is their humanitarianism. They have come into conflict with the Inquisition, at one point even refusing to perform Exterminatus on a Chaos-infested planet becuase there were Imperial Guardsmen fighting on the surface. However, this relationship has had its repercussions. The Inquisitions forces are increasingly unwilling to aid the Angels Crimson, even when it would be beneficial to them. Four companies were trapped in the Garro system when a freak warp storm prevented them from making warp back to Noxxara, which was under attack by Eldar pirates. It was no coincidence that an Inquisition Black Ship was nearby at the time. Interstellar communication has become harder for the chapter's astropaths, and the chapter often find themselves bogged down in needless bureacracy when associating with other Imperial organizations.

Another instance was when a huge force of Xenos mercenaries attacked Noxxara. Only the Infants were in-system at the time, and they put up a heroic defence, buying time for the Angels Crimson to return to Noxxara. However, the Xenos attack, before it was thwarted, wiped out nearly an entire generation of recruits. The Raptorus Scarlet a picket frigate, reported coming under fire from an Inquisitorial ship at the moment of the Mercenaries defeat, and many of the mercenaries bore Imperial coinage on their clothing. The Raptorus Scarlet was never seen again.

Chapter Cult

The Angels Crimson revere the Emperor as a saviour and as a protector. They revere the primarchs as his sons, and as great warriors. Their religion is called the Cult of the Shadow Walker, symbolising that the Emperor walks the realm of twilight in between life and death.

They revere Sanguinius as a hero and a protector. He is venerated as the Knight Imperial, truest of the Emperor's defenders. They have a fragment of Sanguinius's armour in their chapel, a dented fragment, no more than a few inches wide. The edge is buckled and scorched from where Horus smashed it with his power maul, many millenia ago.

Around the dent are inscribed the names of every chapter master of the Angels. There are only six names, for the Angels, like all Sons of Sanguinius, are famously long-lived.

From left to right: Uriel Severus, Michael Augustus, Raphael Domitian, Raphael Arthurus, Gabriel Parmenion, and the current chapter master, Raphael Descartes. The chapter master always takes the name of one of the first four heroic captains of the Angels Crimson

[Ferrata]

Okay, I'm only going to comment on the origins as I think this is the key section. At the moment I don't like this chapter. Why? They are in all this trouble and they have done nothing wrong - fix this. Make it so it *was* their fault. Don't make the other chapter fall to Chaos, but make the Hands fail to save them for destruction when they could have (should have?). This will make them a much more characterful chapter, it would actually explain everything better. Make them screw up, make it so they should have done better. At the moment, they did nothing wrong and everyone hates them for no reason. Secondly, they are all too powerful, unless it means something to the chapter, don't have them beating up champions of official chapters. On that note, at the moment you include too many official chapters that doesn't add anything to the chapter bar making the IA looked packed with cool by association links.

[Walter Payton]

Thanks for the advice Ferrata.

[Walter Payton]

The Twilight's Hands are getting a RADICAL overhaul, don't worry yourself. A name change and a massive background revision are incoming.

[Walter Payton]

Here is the picture that inspired the colour scheme: http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/mediawiki/images/4/4e/Angron_Primarch_World_Eaters.jpg

 

His armour colour

[gil galed]

I like it so far, the over haul is good bar this important detail

 

URAAAA - their word for the emperor

 

if you are going for ooo-raaa like the American marine ooo-raaa (which is what i immediately thought of) I think it should just be cut, it's really unnecessary to your chapter as a whole and the reasoning seems really gimmicky

[Walter Payton]

I like it so far, the over haul is good bar this important detail

 

URAAAA - their word for the emperor

 

if you are going for ooo-raaa like the American marine ooo-raaa (which is what i immediately thought of) I think it should just be cut, it's really unnecessary to your chapter as a whole and the reasoning seems really gimmicky

 

Good Christ No! Black Hawk Down with Smurfs would be terrible. I am thinking more of the Red Army battlecry:

Go to 6:04 of this Youtube video to see what I mean.

[Grimdarkness]

It's a good start but all marine chapters are supposed to be as scalpels to the hammer of the imperial guard.

[Angelfire]

"You are not in Kansas any more..."

Pre-Unification Fragment, Source Unknown

 

Does that line *really* need to be in there? =/

 

Kansas is a place in the third millennium, not the forty-first. Unless you're specifically alluding to *another* place called Kansas (which I do not see in anywhere else in your IA), it should be removed.

 

You are a battle brother of the glorious Eigth

 

Spelling.

 

The Angels Crimson, as descendants of the Sanguinius bloodline, suffer from this curse as much as any other chapter, but unique genetic deficiencies have made it a greater pain to the Angels Crimsons aesthetic minds

 

I don't believe I read any part where you elaborated on this idea. Sounds like an interesting concept, however.

 

the Inquisition has had no chance to destroy the chapter as it did with the Celestial Lions

 

Don't mention the Celestial Lions. We don't "know" what happened to them. Secondly, leaving it ambiguous and relating yourself to another chapter is better. We all know that the Inquisition isn't someone to be messed with. Anecdotes from an entirely different chapter do not add further support.

 

-Angelfire

[Walter Payton]

"You are not in Kansas any more..."

Pre-Unification Fragment, Source Unknown

 

Does that line *really* need to be in there? =/

 

Kansas is a place in the third millennium, not the forty-first. Unless you're specifically alluding to *another* place called Kansas (which I do not see in anywhere else in your IA), it should be removed.

 

You are a battle brother of the glorious Eigth

 

Spelling.

 

The Angels Crimson, as descendants of the Sanguinius bloodline, suffer from this curse as much as any other chapter, but unique genetic deficiencies have made it a greater pain to the Angels Crimsons aesthetic minds

 

I don't believe I read any part where you elaborated on this idea. Sounds like an interesting concept, however.

 

the Inquisition has had no chance to destroy the chapter as it did with the Celestial Lions

 

Don't mention the Celestial Lions. We don't "know" what happened to them. Secondly, leaving it ambiguous and relating yourself to another chapter is better. We all know that the Inquisition isn't someone to be messed with. Anecdotes from an entirely different chapter do not add further support.

 

-Angelfire

 

I know Kansas is a place in the third millenium. That's why it says Pre-Unification Fragment. Why do you think that Horus talks about Persia in Horus Rising? It is supposed to relate back to our time. Why do you think that Eisenhorn quotes Descartes, and attributes it to a Pre-Unification scholar? To emphasise the point that it is our future, and not a long time ago in glaxay far far away.

 

As for the extra pain, well, the point is that they all look like Sanguinius, and so to degenerate and mar his features is a crime and they see it as letting down Sanguinius. I will change this around.

 

Spelling, fair point, although I would like to point out that I know how to spell 'Eighth '

 

As for the Celestial Lions, well okay, but it is bleeding obvious that it was the Inquisition. Unlike the Lost Legions, this is not a few subtle nods, but an enormous Welcome to Las Vegas sign surrounded by blaring amplifiers and a coterie of pole dancers.

[War Angel]

only thing i want to mention is that guardsmen are typicaly too old to become space marines, they usualy start out as children so that there bodys are still growing.

[Walter Payton]

Fair point, but surely some will be heroes at a young age (Brin Milo FTGK) FTGK: For The Grey Knights

Will change it anyhoo

[gil galed]

wait i'm confused, how is it they all look like sangunius?

[Walter Payton]

Genetic defiency. I will flesh that out. The basic idea is that the AM, after they managed to cure the Black Rage with the Lamenters, tryed again, but failed, instead making hundreds of marines who were pretty damn close to Sanguinius

[Ferrata]

Or what would make more sense in game-terms (seeing as a weakened gene-seed would not be able to transform the look of someone), the chapter only recruits those who are beautiful, blonde, blue eyed etc to make it so they all look like their old da'

[Walter Payton]

Or what would make more sense in game-terms (seeing as a weakened gene-seed would not be able to transform the look of someone), the chapter only recruits those who are beautiful, blonde, blue eyed etc to make it so they all look like their old da'

 

Hmm. Only blonde-haired blue-eyed people need apply? Now who does that resemble......

 

I take your point, but, if a gene-seed can cause someone to grow fangs, hair all over and seem like a wolf-its the same principle. If a gene-seed could contain a geno-psychic engram that causes all who have it to degenerate into vampires, then surely looking like Sanguinius wouldn't be too far?

 

After all, all the Raven Guard have black hair and black eyes and pale skin....

[Ferrata]

Yes, it could at a massive stretch do so *but* all of those effects are done by one of the Space Marine organs (bar the Space Wolves that comes about due to the Canis Helix). To physical alter the muscle and bone structure of their face just starts to push the bubble of beleif that starts to break the chapter. What does it add? Why don't go the eaiser and darker approach?

[Walter Payton]

Because removing this quirk of geneseed means rewriting an absolutely massive chunk of the IA, something I really don't have the time or creativity to do. Also, I feel that it is not the right way to go for two reasons:

 

1. It is too hedonistic and Emperor's Children-y. I want them to be Knights of Sanguinius, not fussy dillentantes

 

2. I don't feel that it is too far-sunken cheeks and a pallid face, along with, sanguinius's eye colour, are not so far removed from the RG mucranoid deficiency. After all, sunken cheeks are simply a product of a reduction of fat in the cheeks

[gil galed]

Nazi marines are such much more exciting though :P http://i.somethingawful.com/u/ctstalker/2009/2009_01_10_iSnowman2.jpg

 

yes I can see it working but i think it would work better if you said they grew to look like him over time and that it wasn't a completely transformation where by you basically have clones of one another

 

this way they could both embrace death and fear it as it stops them achieveing perfection (that being living long enough to ascend to look like their beloved mutant primarch :P )

[War Angel]

the last thing warhammer needs is another Star wars Ep 2 reference. and growing fangs is alot differnt than faces looking the same, Even space wolves the fangs are all differnt, My face is the way it is because thats my ENTIRE DNA... it would have to compleetly change them untill there not even human for it to make them look the same exactly.

[gil galed]

maybe making them become paler, hair goes blonde and eyes to change colour would be enough? no need for entire bone structure change

[Walter Payton]

Alright, fair dos. Oh, and Gil Galad, I NEVER WANT TO MEET THE PERSON WHO MADE THAT DREAD!

[Walter Payton]

Have added a sentence about the face thing

[Walter Payton]

Have changed it a wee bit

[Walter Payton]

Seeing as Gil Galed seems to do it, *boot back to p.1*