Guilliman's Heresy

[UltimateJake]

LOYALISTS

Sons of Horus: Horus

Imperial Fists: Rogal Dorn

Alpha Legion: Alpharius

Thousand Sons: Magnus

Space Wolves: Leman Russ

Salamanders: Vulkan

Death Guard: Mortarion

Word Bearers: Lorgar

Night Lords: Konrad Curze

 

TRAITORS

Ultramarines: Roboute Guilliman

Dark Angels: Lion El Johnson

White Scars: Jaghati Khan

World Eaters: Angron

Emperor's Children: Fulgrim

Iron Hands: Ferrus Manus

Raven Guard: Corax

Iron Warriors: Pertuarbo

Blood Angels: Sanguinius

 

If you would wish to contribute please posst in this thread. I myself will do the main body, however if you wish to write an IA for any of the legions PM me.

[UltimateJake]

Alright guys before you read please not this is very very WIP and this is likely just a rough draft. Please comment to make this better.

 

Pre-Heresy - The Seeds of Destruction

 

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he Great Crusade continued to rage across the galaxy, the Emperor returning to Terra in its last years to ensure his domain was properly ruled. He left the Crusade to his most trusted son, Horus and the other Primarchs. It continued to rage massive armies crushing all resistance in the galaxy bringing the Emperor's dream to a real life. Humanity was the master race of the universe and Mankind would forever be united. Little did the Emperor know that his sons themselves would undo his dream and almost completely destroy it one of the largest conflicts in history. Seeds had been sown long ago with friendly feuds between brothers turning into full-blown disdain towards each other. Over a hundred years where cracks appearing in their honor and love towards each other. Eventually this would lead to down-right war and the greatest tragedy in mankind's history.

 

It was at Nikaea did the greatest rift open between the Primarchs. The Emperor's decreed rules of psykers and psychich powers enraged the Space Wolves who personally wanted to see the Thousand Sons punished. But, it would not happen with the Emperor himself personally granting the Thousand Sons lenience in the rules due to his son, Magnus. It was at the end of this event that the Space Wolves began to disregard the Thousand Sons at every chance they had and personally vow to right the wrongs the Emperor had bestown upon them. It would come, but not before yet another great tragedy shook the Imperium.

 

Upon Davin was Horus wounded by a deadly poisonous dart. Although the battle was won in the end, the Warmaster was left severely weakened. Nothing the Apothecaries could do would cure him and in the Horus was forced to spend several weeks in a self induced coma to wait out the poison and death. It was in his saddened absence that the Emperor declared Roboute Guilliman as the temporary Warmaster. Guilliman was a brave man regarded very highly by the Emperor due to his high number of liberated worlds. Every world liberated by the Ultramarines would inevitably turn into a paradise or a very stable world organized by the Ultramarines themselves. It was these tactics that the Emperor saw as the best way to pave the way for the Imperium and the inevitable victory they would soon have.

 

It would never come...

 

Warmaster Guilliman was not invincible and by the time the Great Crusade had resumed already whispers of chaos and taint were harrassing the new Warmaster. None know what truly happened to Guilliman, but it was true that in his days as Warmaster he was put under heavy pressure. Rogal Dorn was angered at him and saw him unfit to fulfill the true goal of the Great Crusade. The other Primarchs were jealous as to why Guilliman had been chosen... Guilliman one of the younger Primarchs. A Primarch whose victories were not that impressive or that many. Guilliman...a Primach intent on forcing his tactics and policies upon his sons. Guilliman...a man fully intent on uniting humanity no matter what the cost. It was these doubts and troubles that eventually drove him towards the Dark Gods. Slowly the powers warped his mind and judgement.

 

It was when Guilliman began to enforce his tome known as the Codex Astartes, recently written, upon the other legions that Konrad Curze snapped. The Night Haunter attacked Guilliman only to be bested and exiled by the Warmaster. Taking his legion on the run with him many eyebrows were raised by the new Warmaster's methods. It was during this time that Guilliman became increasingly isolated spending time only with the Codex Astartes itself. In these times there were whispers of corruption amongst the other Primarchs. By the time word had reached the Emperor Guilliman and his legion were fully devoted to the Dark Gods revelling in there sacred and unholy worship. Pride, arrogance, and dedication had driven them into the arms of the Dark Gods turning Guilliman into the greatest traitor to the Imperium.

 

The Emperor was blind however and instead of immediatly mobilizing his legions to Ultramar to bring the Ultramarines in as fast as possible he sent his son Magnus. A chasm had opened up between the Emperor and Magnus and as a father the Emperor sought to close it sending Magnus on one of the most important tasks along with a group of Custodes. Magnus was sent to bring Guilliman in for questioning. Along with him he took only his veterans and a single squad of Custodes from the Emperor himself.

 

Brother against Brother

 

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hen Magnus reached Ultramar he was met with open arms. The people were happy and a mighty banquet was thrown. It was a paradise, but the task in itself was grim. When Magnus told Guilliman of what he had been sent to do Guilliman was enraged. When Magnus asked him if he would come quietly a fight broke out. The Ultramarines came in with guns blazing and Guilliman himself killed Constantin Valdor, leader of the Custodians sent by the Emperor. It was only by Magnus's sorcery that the Thousand Sons were able to escape. Safe at last Magnus used the only thing at his hands to send a dire warning to the Emperor. Foul magic tore through the psychich wards set upon Terra shattering the Emperor's work upon the Golden Throne. The Emperor was unsettled, but angered by the message and only after killing every single daemon that managed to break into reality did he contact Guilliman.

 

Roboute was not foolish however and his plan not yet ready. Guilliman labeled Magnus as the traitor coming in and attacking him after killing Constantin and the Custodians sent along with him. Angered and believing of this the Emperor ordered the Ultramarines to fall upon the planet of Prospero and punish the Thousand Sons for this injustice. Guilliman would not go however plagued by an uprising in the Isstvan V system. To forward his sinister plans he swore to the Emperor that Magnus had escaped to Isstvan V and raised a mighty legion of daemons to compliment the already corrupted populace. In response to this the Emperor personally ordered Leman Russ to burn Prospero to the ground in what he considers as one of his greatest personal errors. He also gave Guilliman permission to take as many legions as he needed to retake Istvaan V and stop Magnus once and for all.

 

In truth Magnus the Red had managed to escape an forewarn the populace of Isstvan V that the Ultramarines betraying the entire Imperium. Expecting reinforcements from the Emperor to arrive at any moment Magnus instructed the populace to prepare Istvaan V for the onslaught that would no doubt come. With the Imperial Army and Planetary Defense Forces stationed there he fortified the planet's already formidable defenses further. Isstvan V had long been a bastion standing against numerous xenos empires surrounding them. However, in the last days of the Great Crusade they were finally safe. But, instead of resting they doubled their military defenses and remained heavily reliant on their own military despite Ultramar's closeness.

 

It was during this personal error of the Emperor's that the greatest tragedy would inevitably happen. The Isstvan V Drop Site Massacre which would spear-head the Heresy and the greatest civil war in mankind's history. Swiftly Guilliman ordered seven of his brother legions to his side including the: Word Bearers, Death Guard, Iron Warriors, Iron Hands, Raven Guard, Emperor's Children, and World Eaters. Inevitably five of these legions would fall to chaos and side with the Guilliman. Guilliman, the strategist preyed upon each of the Primarchs' weaknesses upon a secret council consisting of those he knew he could easily corrupt.

 

Corax and Pertuarbo would fall due to a lack of credit given to there legions and an inferiority complex orchestrated by Rogal Dorn whom they both disliked. Angron and Fulgrim would fall all to easily to Slaanesh and Khorne due to the bloodlust and perfection eternally sought out by there respective legions. Ferrus Manus himself swore to aid Guilliman out of sheer respect and loyalty to Fulgrim. Five legions would fight for the Arch-Traitor, but it would be many days before there plan was fully enacted.

 

First Guilliman ordered an assault on Isstvan V compromising of loyalists to the Emperor from the Iron Hands, Iron Warriors, Emperor's Children, Raven Guard, and World Eaters legions. When these loyalists landed upon Isstvan they found a completely dead world devoid of life. Every single member of the populace had been killed by the Ultramarines before the embark of the campaign to make way for Guilliman's master plan. It was then that Guilliman enacted the final stages of his plan. Almost as soon as the loyalists landed Guilliman bombarded there position with virus bombs and anything else his warships carried swearing that he was aiding them with orbital support.

 

When every single loyalist was dead in the barrage of virus bombs did Guilliman finally order the assault. Ultramarines, Iron Hands, and Raven Guard would spearhead the assault with the other legions coming behind them to provide reinforcements. When the Word Bearers and Death Guard landed they found heavy resistance from the populace, but no daemons. In an hour of the heavy fighting the capital city was almost completely taken. It was here that Lorgar met with Guilliman asking him what was going on. It was here that the great betrayal happened.

 

With the Word Bearer and Death Guard forces massed together did the five traitor legions come upon there position. The Ultramarines turned encircling the Death Guard and joining the World Eaters as they tore through former brothers. The Word Bearers fell to a similar fate encircled by the Iron Warriors, Iron Hands, Raven Guard, and the Emperor's Children. It was a massacre until Magnus the Red showed himself bringing out his armies to join the loyalist Word Bearers and Death Guard after instantly judging what Guilliman had done. With his greatest veterans he carved into the heart of the Ultramarines meeting Guilliman in single combat. Every psychich power and spell he knew came into play tearing numerous Space Marines apart. But, despite his gigantic strength he would not best Guilliman. With his Gauntlets of Ultramar he tore through Magnus's chest with a mighty blow. Knowing that death was near Magnus used the last ounce of his energy to cast a mighty spell that would transport the few survivors left away from the cursed planet.

 

Thanks to Magnus, Mortarion and Lorgar managed to get away with the few marines they had left. Although Magnus only managed to teleport them a few feet away from the battle they successfully managed to get away on the loyalist shuttle known as the Eisenstein. It was upon the Eisenstein that Lorgar and Mortarion learned from the Thousand Sons of Guilliman's ultimate treachery and duping of the loyalist legions. Insantly they set course for Terra to warn the Emperor. Unfortunately all communications had been destroyed upon the ship so they would have to endure a long, silent journey. Upon hearing that Prospero was in danger, Ahriman leader of the Thousand Sons, broke off with the remains of his Space Marines and used magic to transport themselves through the Warp to Prospero where they hoped they would be able to save the planet. While this was going on the Eisenstin maintained its slow crawl toward Terra.

 

Tragedies

 

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hen Ahriman and his retinue arrived at Prospero the Space Wolves had already landed. The battle was raging and the planet literally almost shattered apart. Civillians were slaughtered and fully a third of the legion almost completely wiped out. Seeking a way to contact the Emperor and save the Thousand Sons Ahriman joined the battle, besting but not killing one of the Emperor's Custodes who was sent to aid the Space Wolves. Using his comlink to talk directly to the Emperor himself he told him of the treachery and of the Eisenstein's problem. The Emperor, so saddened was he by the news that he cut the link and ordered Rogal Dorn himself to take a fleet and retrieve the supposed Eisenstein. Confused and unable to halt the Space Wolves' brutality, Ahriman and the strongest psykers left cast a final spell plunging them into the Warp. They successfully escaped, but they would remain gone for some time.

 

Despite successfully escaping over half of the Thousand Sons were killed in the brutality of the Space Wolves. Almost instantly after Leman Russ was contacted and told of the heresy. Saddened and angered by his own personal failures Leman Russ swore he would kill Guilliman. With his fastest ships available he turned them towards Terra where the loyalist legions were grouping for a counter-attack. Rogal Dorn met with the Eisenstein after several months and successfully brought them back to Terra after dropping Lorgar and Mortarion on there homeworlds to begin rebuilding there legions as soon as possible. By the time the time the Emperor was rallying his forces together the Ultramarines and the other traitors were burning there way through all the Imperial defenses they encountered. Already a cultist army numbering in the billions had joined them further darkening the situation.

 

Such was the desperation of the Emperor that he called back all loyal legions to Terra where they would mount a sizeable counter-attack against the traitorous Guilliman. The White Scars, Space Wolves, Dark Angels, and Blood Angels however where years away from Terra. The White Scars and Blood Angels, however had been unable to be contacted, both on campaigns in the daemon tainted systems of the Signus Cluster. The only legions that were able to reach Terra in time where the Sons of Horus, the always vigilant Imperial Fists, and the oncoming Night Lords who mysteriously appeared with Konrad Curze hearing of Guilliman's Heresy. Relinquishing the defense of the palace to Rogal Dorn and a recently awakened and fully healed Horus the Emperor retired to staying on the Golden Throne to keep the daemons out of the palace. He could only watch helplessly as Guilliman tore through everything he had created. Planets were destroyed and invaded in one of the largest offensives mounted against the Imperium in all its history. Entire sectors were engulfed in the conflict resulting in the deaths of billions. Guilliman would inevitably reach Terra.

 

The Siege of Terra

 

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y the time Guilliman reached Terra his army of cultists had swelled considerably. Within thirty days Luna's Defense System was disabled and the Mechanicus upon Mars silenced. Terra was surrounded and alone. But, it would not remain undefended as Rogal Dorn and his warriors had made the Imperial Palace all but impenetrable. The Night Lords, Sons of Horus, and the Imperial Fists were Terra's garrison backed by billions of Imperial Guard Regiments. When the first wave of traitors came the sky was completely blacked out by the shuttles and transports the traitors were using to descend upon the Imperial Palace. Resistance was heavy at first, despite being outnumbered the fury of Horus beat back the traitors time and time again. The sheer resolve and defensive prowess of the Imperial Fists would keep the traitors away. Time and time again would Night Haunter's favored raiding tactics keep the traitorous hordes on there toes. So intense was the fighting that the Adeptus Custodes themselves were deployed en masse.

 

Time and time again the Eternity Gate was assaulted by an inunmerable horde of daemons and traitor marines. They would not win however and the Imperial Palace remained the safest bastion on Terra while daemons and all other things from the Warp made sport with the population. It was soon clear, however, that the siege would last long and by the time they had the Emperor the Space Wolves and other legions would be upon them. To halt them Guilliman dispatched the Raven Guard who would make a series of hit and run attacks on the advancing fleets of the Space Wolves, Salamanders, Alpha Legion, and the others. Unknown to Guilliman the Alpha Legion and Salamanders were already in a desperate battle with the Blood Angels and White Scars who had been daemonically corrupted on Signus Prime. The White Scars had become diseased and bloated while the Blood Angels had devoted themselves to the Dark Gods in the name of power. Upon hearing he had an abundance of reinforcements, Guilliman ordered the Blood Angels, White Scars, and Raven Guard to engage the Salamanders, Alpha Legion, and Space Wolves in open warfare further delaying them.

 

While this was going on, Ferrus Manus himself led the assault on the Eternity Gate himself. With Iron Hands and Iron Warriors at his command he nearly shattered it. However, the Night Lords themselves defended it and with Night Haunter himself they bulldozed it shut once more. It was in this heavy fighting that Konrad met Ferrus and engaged him in hand to hand combat. The power-armored fists of Konrad collided furiously with the metal covered hands of Ferrus. In the end they would knock each other unconscious surviving only thanks to the efforts of their own Battle-Brothers. Afterwards Horus and Dorn themselves took defense of the Eternity Gate themselves the duo holding it by themselves for an entire day.

 

Day after day this dragged on. Eventually Guilliman, upon his mighty Battle-Barge, decided the only way to win was to kill the Emperor himself. By the 55th day of the siege Guilliman was growing desperate. The Alpha Legion had managed to notoriously out-maneouvre the traitor legions and regroup with the remnants of the Word Bearers and Death Guard. With this small army, Alpharius would reach Terra in hours. Fearing that he would lose his advantage of numbers and the war itself Guilliman lowered the shields to his Battle-Barge inviting the Emperor to one final battle. A battle that would decide the true Master of Mankind. Instantly the Emperor took the invitation gathering his Custodes, terminator armoured guards from all the legions, and taking only Rogal Dorn and Horus with him. Konrad Curze was ordered to sally out of the Imperial Palace and distract as many of the traitors as he could while Sigismund of the Imperial Fists 1st Company held the Palace. Lord of Terra Malcador the Sigillite, closest friend of the Emperor, would sit upon the Golden Throne keeping the daemons away from the Palace as long as he could.

 

With everything ready and in its place the Emperor teleported aboard Guilliman's Battle-Barge.

 

Final Battle

 

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pon reaching the Battle-Barge the Emperor's forces were scattered by foul magics. Seperated from the Emperor they were forced to fight there way to the Emperor hoping to regroup. The battle raged across the Battle-Barge with each warrior seeking to find Horus and kill him. The Emperor himself hacked through a cohort of Greater Daemons on his way to the Command Deck. Rogal Dorn was the first to reach Guilliman.

 

Although Dorn was one of the greatest warriors of the Emperor, Guilliman was powered by the might of all four of the Chaos Gods. When the two Primarchs met it was instantly a one-sided battle, but each time Dorn was thrown down he got up again and again. He would not face defeat. Impressed by Dorn, Guilliman offered him a position in the new world order he planned on creating. But, Dorn would not have it and he died a painful death spitting defiance one last time.

 

When the Emperor reached the Command Deck Dorn had long been dead. Guilliman had awaited him preparing for the battle by worship to the Dark Gods. The Emperor met Guilliman in single combat instantly. Their would be no conversing, but strangely there would be mercy. The Emperor refused to use his full strength which resulted in Guilliman winning and landing numerous horrid wounds upon the shining frame of the Emperor. As Guilliman gloated over the broken corpse of the Emperor, a single miracle happened.

 

A lone terminator came in horrified by what he had seen. Although he was outmatched the terminator charged and fought Guilliman. In a second he was dead, but that single second gave the Emperor enough time to muster his strength and send out the final blow. A blow that killed Guilliman instantly, obliterating his twisted and evil soul. The battle was won, but the Emperor was sorely wounded and on the verge of death.

 

It was in his final moments of consciousness that the Emperor witnessed Horus returning to him. Horus, along with his Mournival of Captains, had fought his way through the traitors blocking the room. He was horrified by what he saw, the Emperor, Guilliman, and Dorn were all scattered and brutally killed. But, he sensed that the Emperor wasn't dead and he transported him back to Terra where he would be interred into the Golden Throne.

 

Loyalists- After the Heresy

 

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inally the Heresy was ended after several years of warfare and bloodshed. But, it was at a high cost. The Emperor was almost dead, forced to sit upon the Golden Throne for all eternity. Never would he speak again his conscious dedicated solely to the Warp and keeping the Chaos Gods away from all he had worked to create. In the end the battle was won, but mankind was lacking some of its greatest heroes. Rogal Dorn and Magnus the Red where dead having gave there lives to save the Imperium. The dream of the Emperor's was slowly dying and his Imperium was in ruins.

 

Horus would not watch his father's dreams die, however. It was in no part thanks to Horus that the Imperium was saved. Quickly the Warmaster gathered the loyalist forces left and began a great scouring that would reclaim the lost worlds and bring the Imperium together once more. His brother legions joined him and in a couple years the Imperium was finally stablilized, however it would forever remain changed.

 

The Sons of Horus became the greatest heroes of the Imperium and it was thanks to there courage that mankind was once again united. Warmaster Horus wrote the Codex Militaris that decreed that the legions be split into chapters to ensure that no single legion had as much power as the Ultramarines. It was the Codex Militaris that formed the Imperial Navy, Imperial Guard, and decreed how the Imperium's armies should be run. Thanks to there devotion and faith most of these successor chapters came from the Sons of Horus themselves. Horus would live to be one of the oldest Primarchs, dying only when his duty had been achieved. It was at the hands of Sanguinius he fell, cast down and broken upon the world of Cadia where Alpharius won the war.

 

The Imperial Fists were saddened by the loss of there Primarch and ashamed that they could not properly defend the Emperor. They felt that it was there own fault that the Heresy started in the first place. It was then that Sigismund renamed the legion the Black Legion. With his Black Legion he led them on a crusade lasting for thousands of years. A crusade that has continued to the present day. In the final moments of the Primarchs it was Sigismund who harshly opposed the Codex Militaris saying that they were not the way the Emperor or Dorn would want things. Instead of opposing Horus they went on there pentinent crusade, fighting for the Imperium in there own way.

 

The Thousand Sons have not been spotted since the start of the Heresy. However, there are rumors that they travel around the Imperium fighting traitors and saving Imperial forces when-ever they can. These spectral warriors that may or may not be the Thousand Sons are known only as the Legion of the Damned with armor painted black and covered in flames. It is these ghostly warriors that employ anything to win against chaos going as far to use sorcery which is constantly damning them, hence the name they were given by Imperial Scholars.

 

The Death Guard were devastated during the Heresy forcing Mortarion to do all he could to rebuild his legion. To create warriors even faster he tampered with the gene-seed resulting in a curse known only as the Black Rage by the Space Marines. It was this curse that nearly prevented the Death Guard from splitting into successor chapters, however they have done so in honor of Horus, with each one plagued by the Black Rage. Mortarion himself dissapeared shortly after the Heresy due to his failures, swearing that he would return to make things better.

 

The Space Wolves where greatly ashamed by the Heresy, knowing that it was there fault that the Thousand Sons perished. Due to these failures the Space Wolves joined the Imperial Fists upon a massive pentinence crusade, pride and gene-seed defects of the wulfen refusing to allow them to split up into chapters. Leman Russ would only find pentinence in the Eye of Terror where he embarked with several hundred of his weeping brothers.

 

The Alpha Legion followed Horus's decrees with great honor splitting up into successor chapters. It is unknown what happened to Alpharius, however he is believed to be locked away in a cryogenic stasis field on the Alpha Legion's main Battle-Barge. Even though the Codex Militaris recomends each chapter to have a home-world the Alpha Legion have remained as a mobile fighting force constantly at war within the heart of the Maelstrom, hoping to overthrow the Ultramar Empire. Alpharius would dissapear

 

The Salamanders were also reluctant to follow the Codex Militaris, however resolved to only in honor of Horus. Vulkan, due to his tenacity and legion's number was given the duty to defend the Eye of Terror, forever keeping the traitors locked inside. It is only by the efforts of the Salamanders and there successors that the traitors are kept within the Eye of Terror. Vulkan himself would die in his duty sacrificing himself and over half of the Salamanders to stem the tide of a Black Crusade.

 

The Word Bearers became some of the greatest warriors in the Emperor's name. It was by Lorgar's suggestion that the Ordo Hereticus was founded alongside the Ecclesiarchy. But, instead of venerating the Emperor as a God Lorgar, in honor of his fallen father, declared him as the Greatest Member of Mankind and something to aspire to. Instead of continuing crusades of faith in the name of the Emperor, the Word Bearers began crusades in order to unite the galaxy. And so where the Black Templars born as a mobile crusading force. Lorgar would dissapear after the Crusades were started by the Black Templars. His fate remains unknown, however he swore he would return when his father did the same.

 

The Night Lords would also break into successor chapters. However, each of these would follow the rules set down by Konrad Curze using brutal tactics of speed and terror. It was the Night Lords and there successors that would inevitably be tasked with the fighting of the tyranids and the founding of the Deathwatch. Konrad Curze would leave his own chapter for the Eye of Terror where he promised to find pentinence for his ultimate sin of letting the Emperor be struck down. He has not been seen since.

 

Traitors- After the Heresy

 

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he Heresy had failed. Inevitably the Ultramarines and those that had followed them into damnation were forced to flee. They went there seperate ways to say the least. A group under Sanguinius fled to the Eye of Terror destroying and desecrating every civilized world they came across. It was the Emperor's Children, White Scars, World Eaters, and Raven Guard who followed him here. Inevitably Fulgrim, Jaghatai, and Angron would be awarded daemonhood and there own daemon-worlds for there services to the Dark Gods. In turn Sanguinius and his legion would be the rulers of the Eye of Terror, uniting the legions together every so many years to lead them on Black Crusades.

 

The rest of the traitor legions would follow the Ultramarines into Ultramar. However, the paradise they sought was corrupted and twisted by the Chaos Gods themselves for Guilliman's ultimate failure. It was in the heart of Ultramar that the Maelstrom started growing and twisting the space around it. Despite this the Iron Warriors under Pertuarbo defended every single, tainted world with all there might. The Iron Hands followed behind as well closely guarding the technology and secrets they had managed to steal from Mars.

 

The only roaming force would be the Dark Angels, who had long been under the thrall of Tzeentch. It under Lion El'Johnson, who was gifted with majestic daemonhood, they would traverse the galaxy in secrecy playing the great game of change and manipulation. Dozens of worlds would fall to there complex and disturbing games.

 

The Ultramarines would remain as the masters of there twisted and corrupt empire. Lysimachus Cestus would become the Emperor of Ultramar, a title awarded to each ruler of the Ultramarines. It was in his highly efficient rule that his empire of renegades, pirates, and traitors would thrive. It was thanks to the heretical Codex Astartes that the Ultramar Empire would last for so long as a blight upon the Imperium of Man. It was by this stain of chaos that so many Tyranids from Hive Fleet Behemoth were corrupted becoming slaves to the Dark Gods.

 

The Iron Warriors under Pertuarbo would be the defenders of Ultramar. Every single planet would be under there defense and as such nearly impenetrable. Pertuarbo, to would be granted daemonhood for his part in the Heresy, but he would not rise against the Ultramarines and jeopardize the entire Ultramar Empire. Instead he would remain as its greatest general ruling from Talassar, a world that was entirely devoid of water. Pertuarbo would turn the entire world into a massive fortress that he would rule from for all eternity.

 

The Blood Angels would be one of the strongest Traitor Legions. It was by there numbers and sheer ferocity that they managed to wrangle control of the Eye of Terror from there other brothers. Sanguinius would become blessed by the Dark Gods and looked upon as there favored Champion. A fallen saint he would be continuing to plague those of the Emperor sending his cursed warriors to shatter the realms of the sane. Although Sanguinius himself would remain upon his own Daemon-World basking in the unholy glories he had achieved, his servants would never halt there assault upon Mankind.

 

The Emperor's Children, in there quest for prefection would inevitably be lead to there own doom. It was Fabius Bile, the Chief Apothecary that would lead them to an ultimate perfection. Fabius Bile with his experiments mixed magic with science and with the legion's most powerful psykers combined them into a mighty spell that would grant them the ultimate perfection they ever so craved. It was known as the Rubric of Perfection, but it was far different from what the Space Marines expected. Those with excellent psychich powers were literally pushed into perfection, but the others became dust, souls trapped in there own armor. They were emotionless, fearless, and killers even amongst Space Marine standards. However, they would never think again with the rubric stripping them of there own personal thoughts. It was in Fabius's mistake that Fulgrim finally fled the Eye of Terror forever resulting in his deaths at the hands of Horus before daemonhood could be realized by the once Prince of Pleasure.

 

The White Scars would remain under the service of Nurgle using speed to spread his plagues throughout the galaxy. Every Black Crusade hundreds of bikers of the White Scars would traverse Imperial planets causing destruction and desecration amongst the doomed population. Jaghatai himself would retire from the wars with the Imperium after being gifted daemonhood by Nurgle himself. For almost all eternity he would remain upon his daemon world, the Plague Planet, coming only when the Imperium was practically begging to be infected by some new plague engineered by his Apothecaries.

 

The World Eaters would remain as Khorne's most faithful servants at the head of each Black Crusade engineered by Sanguinius. Angron would have his own daemon-world upon being granted daemonhood due to the massive amounts of skulls he constantly delivered to the Blood God. Unlike his brothers he would not remain immobile constantly at the head of the Black Crusades acting as Sanguinius's chosen general. It is by Angron that the Imperium learned to fear the traitors once more.

 

The Iron Hands would remain as the few still loyal to the Ultramarines. Their brotherhood with the Emperor's Children had been broken upon the Heresy's end with a bitter gap between the Iron Hands and the other legions. Gradually did the Iron Hands stray away from their traitorous brothers until completely staying isolated upon the few chosen homeworlds within the Ultramar Empire. Although they are secretive and following their own agenda they can easily be counted upon to fight the Imperium just to keep the Imperial out of their domain.

 

The Raven Guard would follow Sanguinius into the Eye of Terror with Corax fully embracing daemonhood. He would constantly lead his children into war with the much hated Imperial Fists. Constantly his warriors would raid and burn through Imperial Space until finally turned back. It was in these Black Crusades that Corax would inevitably meet his end. At the hands of Alpharius would he finally find death during one of the cursed Black Crusades.

[WolfGuardVortek]

The story itself seems sound to me. That said there are some things that should be addressed. First is spelling, while I only found one mistake, I'm pretty bad at spelling myself so I likely missed some things. The 'not' in the preface should be 'note'.

You mention that the Imperial Fists became the Black Legion, then later you mention the Black Templars without any explaination.

The final thing that sprung to mind was " billions of Imperial Guard Regiments". That seems unrealistic to me. If it was billions of guard personel I see that being plausible for the Seige of Terra.

[Jonas Stromclaw]

Wow, thats a bunch to read in one go. I only finished the part marked "Pre Heresy-Seeds of Destruction" and I'll tell you what I saw.

 

Firstly in this sentence " Guilliman...a Primach intent on forcing his tactics and policies upon his sons" sons should be changed to brothers.

 

Secondly, you use the same words to often. For example in this passage "It was during this time that Guilliman became increasingly isolated spending time only with the Codex Astartes itself. In these times there were whispers of corruption amongst the other Primarchs. By the time word had reached the Emperor Guilliman and his legion were fully devoted to the Dark Gods revelling in there sacred and unholy worship." you used the word time or times three times in three sentences. Trying mixing up words a little so its not drudgery reading it. Overall good, I'll post more when I have time.

[Capt. Lysander]

Also, becareful of grammar mistakes, eg: "Finally the Heresy was ended after several years of warfare and bloodshed", should be After several long years of war and bloodshed, the heresy ended, it's leaders and architects having been killed or fled in battle. Another example: "The Great Crusade continued to rage across the galaxy, the Emperor returning to Terra in its last years to ensure his domain was properly ruled." Can be more coherent by simply rewording the sentence into: Whilst the Great Crusade was raging across the galaxy, the Emperor had returned to Terra, in order to ensure that his "domain" was properly looked after.

[UltimateJake]

Alright I'm trying to work out the grammar mistakes. Probably have a second draft up this week.