IA: Iron Angels

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Second, lengthier attempt, follwing the input of GHY.

 

Homeworld

"Where you come from matters not. You will become as Jericia; cold, hard and unforgiving."

- Apothecary Hirrn.

 

The Chapter calls Jericia their home, the world lying between Cypra Mundi and Mordia.

 

Jericia is a world of mountains and valleys ,with the only significantly sized level area of land being the flattened mountain range where the Fortress-Monastery of the Chapter lays. The early history of Jericia is riven by tectonic activity, forging huge mountain ranges and significant valleys where the peoples of the world struggle to live out their lvies in service to the Imperium and the Chapter.

 

When the tectonic activity below the surface of the planet reached it pique, it inadvertantly set back the progress of the then unified Jerician population by generations; both in terms of population level and advancement.

As their once stable homeland finally set itself to rights, forming its current topography of mountain chains and valleys, so did another great change sweep through the core of Jerician society; some of the populace felt the call of the wilds and, as they had in ages past, turned to the wilderness to survive and build their lives. Those Houses who left to being their new lives were ostracized and at times even hunted by those who remained to rebuild the society they had always known.

As generations past, both strata of society went their own ways down the evolutionary track; the more civilized townsfolk developed less physically and advanced their more mental and emotional abilities - some suggest such evolution preceeded a wave of psyker activity upon the planet, but this has always been denied. The tribes were the opposite; their mental abilites keeping to a level of what was required, they were more cunning than intelligent but their physical prowess more than made up for these deficiencies when living in the wilds.

 

It is an interesting note, both in terms of the Chapter and the world as a whole, that those tribes are by far more the openminded of both aspects of society. Where a noble or other townsman might be possessing either superstistion or arrogance as to who and what he is, the followers of the Dream are far more receptive to new ideas and teachings, contrary to other barborous cililizations that the various Chapters of the Astartes have drawn from.

 

Over the course of centuries, that pique of physical being has slowly worked its way into the Chapter; at last census the ratio of tribesmen/mountain dwellers with the Chapter was almost 3:1; The physical toughness of a life eked out in almost barren terrain lending itself well to the traumas of survivng initiation into a Chapter of the Astartes. It by no means suggests that those who dwell in the mountain townships are unsuited for service, merely that their comparitively easier lives mean that they do no possess the across the board physical toughness of the tribesmen or the ingrained mental openess found on those of the plains.

 

Perhaps the biggest impact that Jericia and its inhabitants have had on the Iron Angels is in their belief system, the slow intake of a greater number of tribesmen also bringing with it their cultural beliefs; some of which, like the Dream, have taken such a stronghold within the Chapter that they form part of its core.

 

Again, thoughts or mistakes noted? Too long? Or not enough detail?

[Captain Juan Juarez]

And on the Ninth Day there was Bump.

[kiwitexansfan]

I like the gist of what you have here, it has good depth and gives a good feel for where the chapter comes out of and is made up of.

 

If I was to critique it, I would say it was a bit wordy and reads as though it was written to sound clever.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

It is an interesting note, both in terms of the Chapter and the world as a whole, that those tribes are by far more the openminded of both aspects of society. Where a noble or other townsman might be possessing either superstistion or arrogance as to who and what he is, the followers of the Dream are far more receptive to new ideas and teachings, contrary to other barborous cililizations that the various Chapters of the Astartes have drawn from.

 

This bit honestly doesn't do much for me. It sounds more to me like they are a prime candidate for chaos to influence rather than being good stock for Astartes recruitment. Doesn't really matter how open minded or not that the recruits are since they are all going to be psycho-conditioned, broken down in mind and spirit before being rebuilt into what an Astartes should be.

 

If anything they will end up being more closed minded than they were before, or the opposite of the rest of their people. They have to be, or so they believe in any case.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

I like the gist of what you have here, it has good depth and gives a good feel for where the chapter comes out of and is made up of.

 

If I was to critique it, I would say it was a bit wordy and reads as though it was written to sound clever.

 

Everything I write tends to be wordy - I have the habit of using too much flowery language - and as for written to sound clever, it isn't intended that way obviously.. But if the gauntlet fits... :lol:

 

It is an interesting note, both in terms of the Chapter and the world as a whole, that those tribes are by far more the openminded of both aspects of society. Where a noble or other townsman might be possessing either superstistion or arrogance as to who and what he is, the followers of the Dream are far more receptive to new ideas and teachings, contrary to other barborous cililizations that the various Chapters of the Astartes have drawn from.

 

This bit honestly doesn't do much for me. It sounds more to me like they are a prime candidate for chaos to influence rather than being good stock for Astartes recruitment. Doesn't really matter how open minded or not that the recruits are since they are all going to be psycho-conditioned, broken down in mind and spirit before being rebuilt into what an Astartes should be.

 

If anything they will end up being more closed minded than they were before, or the opposite of the rest of their people. They have to be, or so they believe in any case.

 

To be honest, looking back I think that taking out the part about those of the Chapter being open minded could work better as a whole; a populace willing to embrace Chaos, however unknowingly, could tie in with the dependance of the Chapter on the Librarium contingent.

 

Interesting food for thought there, thank you again GHY, and thank you KiwiTexansFan for taking the time to marvel at my intelligence :P

 

EDIT: Have reworked to mention the natural open mindedness sometimes causing trouble for those the Chapter draws from, tying in with the increased importance of the Librarians of the Chapter.

 

EDIT EDIT: Will now consolidate all new data into #1 Post, as soon as I am happy with it and all glaring mistakes are dealt with.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Like a moth to the flame I doth return.. And I doth return because "doth" rhymes with "moth" and I'm determined to get this right, no matter the length of time it takes - amusingly this IA has seen the coming and going of four girlfriends.

 

Anyway, a new cut down version of the Homeworld section is in post one with the removal of the concept of the "Dream" because I feel that is too hard a road to go down for my middling IA talents.

 

The one thing I really lack is a unifying direction to take the Iron Angels in; there has been the justice crazy version, the whole "Dream" concept and the jump army thing.. But nothing really jumps out except one thing which I may have discussed before.

 

That thing is the concept of humanity; the Astartes do not, as a whole, actually feel compassion or empathy - Chapters such as the Space Wolves and Salamanders I think more take their stance on humanity because of that of their respective Primarchs rather than an overdeveloped sense of compassion.

 

I thought of exploring Humanity in a similar way to the Black Rage in that it is something that can afflict a Battle-Brother at any time and, unlike the Rage, instead of making him more deadly it can make him less so; the Battle-Brother overcome with a sense of guilt for past actions cannot destroy the township infested by Orks because he knows there are Human slaves still present.

 

That is a very basic overview and rubbish explanation, and doesn't convey every aspect, but thoughts?