Index Astartes: The Argeads

[Walter Payton]

You see, my brothers, with my original IA, the Angels Crimson, I set out to make something as pristine and flawless as Queen Elizabeth's lawn, only to end up with the coast of Cornwall, all rocky, jaggy, falling into the sea, and that cuts you if you fall over on it. Hopefully the Argeads will have more sucess. C&C appreciated.

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Index Astartes: The Argeads

“Children of the Emperor, now is the hour, now is the time, blood and glory await us! Hoist the colours!”

Captain Parmenion, at the Siege of Tyre

Introduction

"What is the strongest weapon of mankind? The god-machines of the Adeptus Mechanicus? No! The Astartes Legions? No! The tank? The lasgun? The fist? Not at all! Courage and courage alone stands above them all!"

Lord Solar Macharius

The Eye of Terror. A shifting, nightmare fastness of enemies of the Imperium, a howling, twisted stronghold of madness and despair. In this hideous realm reside the foulest and most evil of mankinds foes, the vile forces of the Dark Gods. These cruel and treacherous warriors are held at bay by the fearsome fortifications of the Cadian Gate, and the courage of the Imperium. One facet of man's multifarious defence of this twisted region are the Space Marines of the Astartes, whose containment fleets circle the twisting and roiling tides of the Eye, ever vigilant for the resurgence of the old foes. However, even among the hallowed ranks of the Astartes, such a punishing duty will take its toll. Over the years, many chapters have been founded with the express purpose of wardenship of this Immaterial wound. The Argeads are one such chapter, and their deeds are those that shall be chronicled here:

Origins and Founding

"The enemies of the Emperor fear many things.

They fear discovery, defeat, despair and death.

Yet there is one thing they fear above all others.

They fear the wrath of the Space Marines!"

Unknown

The Argeads were founded as a response to the massive casualties among the Astartes Praeses caused by extended raids and attacks by Chaos Champions around the Eye of Terror. The Black Crusades of Abbadon, and other champions, which were causing huge casualties amongst other chapters, combined with Imperial Strategos and Templars Psykologis intelligence suggesting a build up of power within the Eye, led the Masters of the Ordo Malleus to recommend the creation of a new chapter whose role it would be to assist the others in the gruelling assignment of Eye of Terror containment. Thus it was that when the High Lords of Terra declared a new Space Marine Founding (the 23rd) in the latter years of M37, the Argeads, named after a dynasty of ancient Terra who united the nation of Grecia against the untold millions of Persia, were among the new chapters that were added to that glorious roster that is the Adeptus Astartes.

The geneseed used came from the Salamanders chapter, chosen due to their stubbornness, and their ideals of self-reliance, self-sacrifice and loyalty, three things that would be of paramount importance to the chapter, engaged as it would be on long-range patrol duties, ship-to-ship boarding actions and planetary pacification operations. Captain Bogatyr of the Salamanders, accompanied by a cadre of Firedrakes of the same chapter, was chosen to train the new chapter, and armour and weapons fresh from the forges of Olympus Mons were issued. On the morning of 15405.M37, the new chapter boarded their transports on the muster fields of Mars, and flew skywards, ready for war.

Homeworld

"You will fight in the streets, and in the habs! You will fight for the enemy's death, not your own lives! You will fight and you will drive this alien filth from the Emperor's city. You will do these things, or you will face my wrath."

Captain Denon, of the Salamanders

The chapter’s homeworld of Phillipium is sufficiently far from the Eye for the inhabitants to be free of any immediate danger, yet sufficiently close by as to be a convenient base of operations for the Argeads. The Argeads use the planet as a base of resupply and refuelling, in addition to housing their massive librarium, which holds the sum of their Chaos-fighting knowledge.

The Chapter was originally a spacebound chapter, their power centred upon the mighty Ramillies class starfort, Iskender Magnus, and their two battle barges, the Cruor, and the Ferrum. Despite this, they maintained close links with the Macedon sector, where the forge worlds provided arms and armour, as well as a cluster of feudal worlds that provided a plentiful source of recruits. However, during the 12th Black Crusade, Chaos forces, led by the infamous Warlord, Darius, attacked the primary hive world of Phillipium in the Macedon sector. The governor of the planet put out a distress call. The nearest Imperial forces to the beset and remote planet were the Argeads, who were being called forward to reinforce the systems around Arx, Abbadon's raids having fooled the Imperium for the time being. Like their parent chapter, the Argeads were not ones to ignore a distress call from an Imperial installation, especially one of such importance to the chapter, and immediately diverted to assist the beleaguered planet.

When the Argeads entered orbit above Phillipium, their fortress fleet did so with a fury that threw the Chaos fleet captains back, wresting control of orbit from them within three short hours. The skies above the planet lit up with a rain of spaceship debris, and drop pods. Despite the Argeads’ righteous fury, however, the Chaos commanders had numbers and superior warships on their side, and recovered, driving the marines back. By then it was too late, however, as nearly five companies had managed to gain the planet’s surface. The remainder retreated to the edges of the system, prosecuting a hit and run campaign through the inky void.

On the planet’s surface, the Argeads relieved the scattered and demoralised PDF, honing them into a guerrilla force to be reckoned with, and striking at the unarmoured, fleshy belly of the serpent of Chaos. The sign of true heroes is that they inspire heroism in others, and the Argeads truly did in those dark times. Within five months of their landing, Captain Hirkus raised the Aquila above the shattered ruins of the Governor’s Palace, and Darius was surrendered to Inquisitorial custody. The planet, however, was in ruins, the predations of Chaos and the rain of spaceship debris causing untold damage . Some of the surviving population became serfs and equerries aboard the mighty ships of the Argeads. Others joined the Imperial Guard and Navy that descended on the planet after the liberation. Most were simply deported to other hive worlds, just another signed docket in the mindless bureaucracy of the Adeptus Terra.

The Phillipium incursion had told the Argeads that even their primary recruiting grounds were not free from the predations of Chaos, and at a special meeting of the masters of the chapter, it was decided that a permanent ground presence was required. And so, the Argeads claimed right of conquest over the ruined husk of Phillipium, and a feral population from a variety of worlds was imported, who settled amongst the ruined hives. The Argeads raised a mighty fortress-monastery in the wilds of the planet, and the tribes believe it to be a place of spirits, where the mighty fallen go when death’s cold embrace chills them.

Now, thousands of years on, the planet is one of verdant grasslands, nature reclaiming the shells of the sparse hives. The planet is plagued by storms, the most ferocious of which can rip up the very plains themselves, or destroy an entire season’s harvest. This forces the tribes to migrate, through the deadly plains, leaving the sanctuary of their fortresses to brave the vicious fauna. On the volcanic Plateau of the Lord of the Golden Light, the huge stone edifice of the Argeads’ fortress-monastery, the Arx Pella, stands like a sentinel, its mighty batteries and defence lasers ever vigilant.

The dictates of the Pax Imperium prevent a chapter from maintaining both a spacebound fortress-monastery and a homeworld fortress, so the battle-scarred and venerable Iskender Magnus was given over to the care of the Imperial Navy, who since reassigned it to a post off the Eye of Terror, where it is the Argeads honour and privilege to garrison it.

"Why, if it isn’t Brother Marius. The injuries from the last training exercise have healed well I see. And that new bionic eye should prove most useful for this next exercise. Tell me, how many hours have you had on Land Speeders up to now?"[/i]

Veteran Sergeant Kesser

The Argeads recruit from the tribes of Phillipium. Feral savages, they believe the ruins of the hives are the ancient legacies of a mighty race of gods. The tribes constantly compete for resources and food, as well as to survive, for the Argeads brought many vicious predators to the planet. The wars of the tribes are observed from above by the Chaplains of the Argeads, who take the most promising young warriors to become Space Marines. The second way in which a young man may prove his worth to the Chapter, is by making the long and arduous trek through the shattered capital-hive, avoiding the savage predators that dwell there. The capital is a place of skeletons, the glorious dead lying where they fell. Once there they must spend a day and a night within the hallowed halls of the shattered Governor’s Palace. There, amongst the spent shell casings, skeletons and ruined colonnades, the Chaplains will come for him. It is perhaps no surprise then, that each of the tribes worships the Chaplains as battle-gods, who choose the worthiest to form their retinues in their celestial wars.

Finally, an aspirant may trek across the savage grasslands to the mighty Plateau of the Lord of the Golden Light, and present himself to the chapter. Again, this is no easy task. The trek through the savage grasslands and savannas would be enough to break a man through exertion, even before the savage hunter-felids are factored into the equation. Then, there is the climb to the plateau itself, where an aspirant must brave eagles and wryms, not to mention the earthquakes and lave flows, before pulling himself over the lip, battered and bloodied, to claim his place among the gods.

The aspirants are then subjected to many gruelling initiation challenges, such as having to wrestle a catacomb lion, or tame a spire dragon. Out of a group of perhaps one hundred recruits, perhaps twenty will survive to become scouts. This, is of course, the way of the Promethean ideal. Gruelling and self-sacrificing.

<div style="background-color:#000000]Chapter Organization

"By thy colour will he know thee,

By thy banners will he fear thee,

By thy standard will he dread thee,

Cry Marine, and let slip the weapons of war."

Unknown

The Argeads are organized into nine companies of one hundred marines, plus an irregular scout strength, as per the Codex Astartes. However, the companies all use the same makeup, due to the nature of the Argeads' extended long-range combat duties, reserves are often too far away to call upon, and it makes sense for each company to be as flexible as possible. Each company has earned itself a specific honorific in combat. For instance, Three Company is known as Dagger Company, after a speartip operation that destroyed a notorious Eldar pirate stronghold near Thracian Primaris.

Carrying on from the noble traditions of their parent chapter, the Argeads are still capable smiths and artificers, and each brother is responsible for the upkeep of his own weapons and armour. The Techmarines of the Argeads are held in the highest regard by the phratry, and they are often seconded to the Deathwatch, such is the esteem the chapter holds them in. The chapter enjoys a cordial relationship with the Mechanicus, and can often rely on resupply and refuelling rights at forge worlds.

The Librarians are also a powerful force within the internal politics of the Argeads, commanding as they do the vast sums of Chaotic knowledge stored within the chapter's vaults. The chapter are firm believers in the maxim of 'know thy foe', and have accumulated a huge repository of knowledge. Much of this is stored within the Arx Pella, but a portion of the most tainted and evil is kept at a secret location, believed to be a starship, maintained by the Librarium. Despite the frequent policy conflicts between the two organzations, the Chapter have reached an uneasy understanding with the Inquisition, realising that they owe their existence to them, and the difficult nature of the Inquisition's work around the Eye. For their part, the Inquisition know that the chapter has a large repository of potentially useful knowledge in their care, and realise that it is mutually benficial for the two organizations to be on relatively good terms.

The First Company are known as the Hetairoi, or Companions in Imperial Gothic, and are under the personal command of the Chapter Master (the current incumbent is Aristander). They are the only brothers with the right to the hallowed Tactical Dreadnought Armour, and it is from them that the company captains are chosen when the incumbents are given over to the care of the Emperor.

Combat Doctrine

"You strive for victory. That is obvious. What may be less obvious is the nature of victory. There are circumstances in which you can destroy the enemy utterly, without loss to your own forces, and yet the victory may be his. In all situations, you must first decide on the nature of victory, and then take steps to secure it. Avoid the instinct of fight first and think later."

Attr. Leman Russ

The Argeads follow the doctrines of their parent chapter in most things, adapting them when the combat situation demands it. As such, they make heavy use of close-in firepower and melta and flame weapons, seeing these as particularly appropriate for the traitors they are usually pitted against.

In attack, the Argeads make use of a methodical advance, laying down a hail of bolter fire, supported by armour elements. This is of particular use in sieges and cityfights, whereby the enemy can be kept pinned and bracketed by the unending fire. The chapter makes heavy use of the Predator, keeping a large contingent in their arsenal, and the Vindicator is also prized for its line-breaking qualities.

It is in defence, however, that the Argeads come into their own. Stationed at the gatehouse of the Imperium, the Argeads have come to know the value of a good defense, and are quick to dig-in. They often create field fortifications and are adept at turning even the lowliest ruin into a well-defended command post. The Argeads often consecrate the ground they fight upon with blood, or machine oil, signifying that they would rather give their lives than retreat in dishonour. A favoured tactic is the use of an armoured counterattack, usually to the flank, to turn the tide of an enemy assault, regaining momentum to push forward to victory. For this, heavy use of the chapter's Predator fleet is made, and also of their honour guards, the Shieldbearers, when this elite is available.

Like their parent chapter, the Argeads mark the occasion of going into battle with the application of brands and rituals. Indeed the chapter undertake a day of fasting before committing to the field, where each brother reflects upon their duties to the Emperor and Imperium. These rituals culminate in the ritual dedication of each brother to the other. Each brother cuts his palm, then smears the bloood upon his companion's faceplate, symbolising his willingness to die for his fellows, and bestowing each brother with a fearsome visage.

Beliefs

“Bravery is stronger than Adamantium. One is the stuff of the soul-forges, the other an illusion of safety created by fools. Adamantium walls cannot keep us out! We have the courage of the Emperor! And in the Emperor's name... ATTACK! ATTACK! NO PRISONERS!”

Chaplain Gonzago, at the outset of Operation Carthage,

The Argeads follow the ideals of the Promethean cult, those of self-sacrifice and duty. They venerate the Emperor as the greatest warrior who has ever lived, and whose own self-sacrifice has left humanity with a debt of honour to repay to him, that can never be fulfilled. The also venerate the primarchs as the sons of the Emperor, whose own sacrifices are also venerated and consecrated. Although the Argeads do not worship the Emperor as a god, they appreciate that it is this faith that steels the defenders of the Cadian Gate, and so require their Chaplains to be well-versed in the doctrines of the Adeptus Ministorum, to be inspiring to the mortals that the chapter often has to fight alongside.

In accordance with the traditions and beliefs of Phillipium, the Argeads believe that there is a right time and a right place for a person to die. While life in service of the Emperor is preferred over death, if it is time for a person to depart from this world, then so be it.

The Argeads believe that at the moment of death, a person obtains a higher level of consciousness. This means that the last words uttered by a dying marine are taken seriously. These words could be a prophesy, or words of wisdom for the chapter to ponder. The Reclusiam painstakingly records each and every one of these ‘prophecies’, and they are studied extensively by the chapter, being kept in the Library of the Lost on Pella. Many of the scrolls are covered in annotations, observations made by generations of Reclusiarchs and Codiciers over the centuries. In a secure vault, hidden beneath the mighty battlements of the Arx Pella, protected by metre upon metre of ceramite shielding, is a transcription of the last words of Vulkan before he left Nocturne, the chapters most holy relic and the subject of much contention among the Reclusiam, who continue to debate its meaning.

The dead of the chapter are laid to rest in the crypts of Arx Pella. Most Argeads abhor the cold embrace of a dreadnought sarcophagus, and so the chapter has few dreadnoughts, and only one each of the specialist dreadnought configurations.

Geneseed

The geneseed of the Argeads carries many of the caveats that the Salamanders have. Whilst the Argeads do not all exhibit the coal-black complexion and burning eyes of their parent-chapter, the few brother’s that do are said to have the ‘hand of Vulkan’, upon them, and invariably become great heroes or have a huge impact upon the chapter. The Argeads also have the same slower reflexes of the Salamanders (although their reactions are still significantly faster than normal humans), also coming from a high gravity homeworld.

Appearance

The Argeads often wear the pelts of exotic animals from their homeworld, or wield the traditional weapons of their tribe alongside their normal armament. This gives the squads an irregular appearance, and each company looks vastly different from the next.

Battle-Cry

(shouted in the heat of battle)

Chaplain: Cry Havoc

Brethren: Let slip the dragons of war!

Motto

Blood and Iron

Cruor et Ferrum

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This is it so far, folks, but the rest will be coming soon, hopefully tomorrow. I also have a colour scheme which I reckon I should also post:

[Captain Juan Juarez]

My first thought is: Why the hell is he quoting people who have nothing to do with his Chapter?

[Walter Payton]

My first thought is: Why the hell is he quoting people who have nothing to do with his Chapter?

 

Because they have something to do with marines in general, and, after, all, the quotes are a very small part of the IA. I simply chose some quotations that I like, and that fit. When you read Gaunt's Ghosts, you don't go 'Why is Dan Abnett quoting Lord Solar Macharius, because he has nothing to do with the Ghosts.

[Argon]

This looks good. I'll give it a more detailed examination when I have more time.

 

I do notice a heavy "Alexander the Great" theme, though.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

My first thought is: Why the hell is he quoting people who have nothing to do with his Chapter?

 

Because they have something to do with marines in general, and, after, all, the quotes are a very small part of the IA. I simply chose some quotations that I like, and that fit. When you read Gaunt's Ghosts, you don't go 'Why is Dan Abnett quoting Lord Solar Macharius, because he has nothing to do with the Ghosts.

 

Nope, but when I read an IA I expect the quotes to be from that Chapter.

 

It's your choice, but thats just my opinion.

[Walter Payton]

My first thought is: Why the hell is he quoting people who have nothing to do with his Chapter?

 

Because they have something to do with marines in general, and, after, all, the quotes are a very small part of the IA. I simply chose some quotations that I like, and that fit. When you read Gaunt's Ghosts, you don't go 'Why is Dan Abnett quoting Lord Solar Macharius, because he has nothing to do with the Ghosts.

 

Nope, but when I read an IA I expect the quotes to be from that Chapter.

 

It's your choice, but thats just my opinion.

 

Truly, Juan Juarez, I value your opinion. But, I am taking my cue from the Nephillim's IT: The Nephillim, where he includes general CSM quotations. It works, and, after all, talent borrows, genius steals :P

 

And yes, there is an Alexander theme running through it. After all, the Ultras have a battle-barge called 'Caesar'

[Sigismund Himself]

Do we know when Doombreed's Black Crusade was? Otherwise you're enforcing your own date on GW fluff, which is normally something that is better to avoid with DIY chapter fluff. Same with the Relictors note.

 

The dictates of Guilliman prevent a chapter from maintaining both a spacebound fortress-monastery and a homeworld fortress, so the battle-scarred and venerable Iskender Magnus was given over to the care of the Imperial Navy, who since reassigned it to a post off the Eye of Terror, where it is the Argeads honour and privilege to garrison it.

Why go to all the trouble of building a new Fortress Monastery when you can just have the Ramilles in orbit? And we don't know what Guilliman has to say on the matter.

 

I dont particularly get why they claimed this world as a homeworld. It's a ruined husk of a world. Why not just take wherever they got the people to put on the world as a homeworld? This needs better explaining.

 

Finally, there exists a secret group of three tactical squads, known as Iskender's Troop, who are trained in using the Astartes Jump Pack in conjuction with the standar bolter. The exact origin of Iskender's Troop is unknown, but there have been several reports of jump pack Astartes utilising the standard bolter, and even meltaguns and heavy bolters from the air. No matter how many times the Argeads deny the practice of flying tactical squads, the rumour persist, and Iskender's Troop have turned the tide on dozens of battlefields across the Segmantum Obscurus.

This doesn't add anything to the chapter or the IA in particular IMO.

 

The Command squads of the Argeads are known as the Shieldbearers, and each man, upon his promotion to Honoured-Brother, receives a hoplon, a mighty round combat shield, symbolic of their role as gatekeepers of the Eye. The names of the brothers who have previously born the shield are inscribed upon it, and each man would give their life, rather than allow their shield to fall to capture. In addition, each brother of the Argeads also carries a spear, symbolic of the Argeads' role as spear and shield of the Imperium.

This betrays your Greek influence far too much (apart from the chapter name itself which isn't explained at all).

[Walter Payton]

The Command squads of the Argeads are known as the Shieldbearers, and each man, upon his promotion to Honoured-Brother, receives a hoplon, a mighty round combat shield, symbolic of their role as gatekeepers of the Eye. The names of the brothers who have previously born the shield are inscribed upon it, and each man would give their life, rather than allow their shield to fall to capture. In addition, each brother of the Argeads also carries a spear, symbolic of the Argeads' role as spear and shield of the Imperium.

This betrays your Greek influence far too much (apart from the chapter name itself which isn't explained at all).

 

In a way that every Ultramarine carrying a short sword called a gladius, and having battle-barges called Octavian and Caesar doen't betray their Roman influence far too much?

 

The rest of your post is fair, and I will update it shortly.

[Sigismund Himself]

The Command squads of the Argeads are known as the Shieldbearers, and each man, upon his promotion to Honoured-Brother, receives a hoplon, a mighty round combat shield, symbolic of their role as gatekeepers of the Eye. The names of the brothers who have previously born the shield are inscribed upon it, and each man would give their life, rather than allow their shield to fall to capture. In addition, each brother of the Argeads also carries a spear, symbolic of the Argeads' role as spear and shield of the Imperium.

This betrays your Greek influence far too much (apart from the chapter name itself which isn't explained at all).

 

In a way that every Ultramarine carrying a short sword called a gladius, and having battle-barges called Octavian and Caesar doen't betray their Roman influence far too much?

I can't remember reading about the gladius part. The naming of the battle barges is also only a minor detail for the chapter (are the names even mentioned in the IA: UM?) when compared to the vast array of information presented about them.

 

And anyway, just because GW does something doesn't mean you have to sink to their level :P

[Walter Payton]

The Command squads of the Argeads are known as the Shieldbearers, and each man, upon his promotion to Honoured-Brother, receives a hoplon, a mighty round combat shield, symbolic of their role as gatekeepers of the Eye. The names of the brothers who have previously born the shield are inscribed upon it, and each man would give their life, rather than allow their shield to fall to capture. In addition, each brother of the Argeads also carries a spear, symbolic of the Argeads' role as spear and shield of the Imperium.

This betrays your Greek influence far too much (apart from the chapter name itself which isn't explained at all).

 

In a way that every Ultramarine carrying a short sword called a gladius, and having battle-barges called Octavian and Caesar doen't betray their Roman influence far too much?

I can't remember reading about the gladius part. The naming of the battle barges is also only a minor detail for the chapter (are the names even mentioned in the IA: UM?) when compared to the vast array of information presented about them.

 

And anyway, just because GW does something doesn't mean you have to sink to their level :P

 

Aye, point conceded. I was quoting Lexicanum, and after I looked at their sources, it turns out they got the gladius thing from Battle for the Abyss. Therefore, your post should read:

 

And anyway, just because Ben Counter does something doesn't mean you have to sink to his level :P

 

And I absolutely agree! :P

 

That said, I do like the idea of them wielding spartan shields, and spears. Is there a better way I can fit this into the IA, or should I just leave it 'on the model'?

 

Thanks for the feedback!

[Walter Payton]

Have edited the post in accordance with Sigismund's feedback.

 

EDIT SUMMARY:

 

Origins: Made it more general, cut the Relictors and Doombreed

 

H/World: Added a tangible reason for them having it. Fixed the starfort thing-it is the Pax Imperium, not Papasmurf-the new sector is called the Macedon sector-crap, I know, but it's just a place holder :lol:

 

C/O removed the piece about Shieldbearers and Iskender's Troop

 

Thanks guys, Beliefs, geneseed and battle-cry will be up soon

[Ace Debonair]

Shieldbearers as a Captain's elite bodyguard unit would be cool, or perhaps have squad sergeants with spears and shields symbolising their duty to hold-ground-come-what-may or something.

 

Should the quote at the top of the chapter organisation read "Cry marine" or "Cry havoc, Marine"? I assume it's the latter, but I might just possibly be wrong.

 

None too shabby, keep up the good work!

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Make the First Company the Chapter Masters to command, and have their informal name as "The Companions".

[Walter Payton]

Thanks for the feedback guys, will update it shortly, and, it is supposed to be cry marine.

[Walter Payton]

Added a chapter cult section, a battle-cry and a motto. Geneseed and Appearance still to come, as well as some fancy sidebars deatailing more specific events, a marine and terminator image, and a photo of Phillipium.

[Walter Payton]

Genseed and appearance are both up, and the sidebars will be their soon. Please c&c.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

...tactical dreadnaught armour...

...chapter...

 

Needs capitals... Tactical... you get the idea.

[Walter Payton]

Yeah, cool. Any comment on the rest of the new stuff? And 'chapter' doens't need capitalized

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Yeah, cool. Any comment on the rest of the new stuff? And 'chapter' doens't need capitalized

 

Chapter does if its Chapter of the Adeptus Astartes. if it wasnt then I forgot by the time i got to the bottom of the page.

 

I shall read through at some point, but i'm at work so its hard whilst trying to do other things i shouldnt be! :)

[Captain Juan Juarez]

The geneseed used came from the Salamanders chapter, chosen due to their stubbornness, and their ideals of self-reliance, self-sacrifice and loyalty...

- Why have this in the origins section and then have a geneseed section too?

- Also, if you want stubborn, self-sacrificing and loyal then you look no further than a Son of Rogal Dorn.

 

The chapter’s homeworld of Phillipium

- Here Chapter needs that 'C'.

 

that threw the Chaos fleet captains

- Captain.

 

Despite the Argeads’ righteous fury, however, the Chaos commanders...

- The 'however' is superfluous, delete it.

 

nearly five companies ...

-Companies.

 

The dictates of the Pax Imperium prevent a chapter from maintaining...

- Do they? Genuine question!

 

The First Company are known as the Hetairoi, or Companions in Imperial Gothic, and are under the personal command of the Chapter Master...

- I feel all warm and fuzzy :P

 

Can't be bother to quote properly, but... they are good in attack and great in defence.

- The Astartes are great at both, surely?

 

Each brother cuts his palm, then smears the bloood upon his companion's faceplate, symbolising his willingness to die for his fellows, and bestowing each brother with a fearsome visage.

- Clever, taking something from the parent Chapter and making it your own.

 

The Argeads also have the same slower reflexes of the Salamanders (although their reactions are still significantly faster than normal humans), also coming from a high gravity homeworld.

- Seems a bit of a coinkydink.

[Walter Payton]

The dictates of the Pax Imperium prevent a chapter from maintaining...

- Do they? Genuine question!

 

The First Company are known as the Hetairoi, or Companions in Imperial Gothic, and are under the personal command of the Chapter Master...

- I feel all warm and fuzzy :P

 

Can't be bother to quote properly, but... they are good in attack and great in defence.

- The Astartes are great at both, surely?

 

Each brother cuts his palm, then smears the bloood upon his companion's faceplate, symbolising his willingness to die for his fellows, and bestowing each brother with a fearsome visage.

- Clever, taking something from the parent Chapter and making it your own.

 

The Argeads also have the same slower reflexes of the Salamanders (although their reactions are still significantly faster than normal humans), also coming from a high gravity homeworld.

- Seems a bit of a coinkydink.

 

What is a coinkydink?

 

What do you mean by taking something from my parent chapter and making it my own? That little ritual has nothing to do with the 'manders.

 

By good at attack and great in defence, not really. The Astartes are not good at everything. They are specialised at defence, and prefer it to attack. After all, you don't say about the Raven Guard

 

"

Can't be bothered to quote properly, but: great at hiding and good at normal actions.

 

Astartes are great at both, surely."

 

There is a geneseed section to describe the effects and quality of the seed, not simply a designative for the seed itself.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Coinkydink: Coincidence.

 

Attack/Defence: They say that where others excel at stealth, etc, they excel at defensive actions. "Great" isn't a word to describe the Astartes at war.

 

Taking from the parent Chapter: The Sallies ritually brand themselves with fire, you have taken that ritualisation and slanted it somewhat for your Chapter in the blood across the helmet thing.

 

Geneseed: But you should be putting why the genessed was chosen in that section, not elsewhere :P

[Ace Debonair]

Actually, just stating the geneseed early on is often useful for establishing a degree the chapter's character.

My personal view, rather than solid fact. Besides, the Gene-seed section is about more than just where you came from, isn't it? :P

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Actually, just stating the geneseed early on is often useful for establishing a degree the chapter's character.

My personal view, rather than solid fact. Besides, the Gene-seed section is about more than just where you came from, isn't it? <_<

 

Fine, mock me... I know nothing of IA's :lol: :lol:

[Ace Debonair]

I meant no offence, I assure you.

 

I'm just offering another opinion - and since none of my IA's are in the Librarium, I think my opinion can be dismissed easily enough anyway. <_<

 

Making a chapter that excels at defensive actions is always tricky, since the Astartes as a whole function as high-impact attackers. However, I think this chapter pulls it off pretty well. Good stuff!