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IT: Black Razor Renegade Free Chapter


Newtype

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  • 3 weeks later...

Good day all.

 

I have added in an image of the Black Razor colour scheme, and edited some of the sections. I think I have everything covered, so I would like to ask is the IA ready for the Library? C&C most wanted.

 

For now, Newtype

Armoured domes emerged from the ground and began to cycle slowly open. Revealed within were the black cyclopean spheres of warp gate generators. Just as the main drive engines on the Domus reached full power, the gates unleashed a vast null energy beam that targeted the planetoid.

 

Firstly, it doesn't seem feasible for warp gate generators to produce a null beam - the two are opposites. Secondly, these enemies you are describing look very much like Necrons - if so, they will not use warp technology. It is anathema to them.

  • 11 months later...

Good day all.

 

Well it has been almost a year since I first posted my attampt at an IA. I have refined it more and even worked out what would be a detailed timeline of events in the history of my Chapter. I have now edited the IA by adding some new events and names to create a better narative flow. At least I hope so. Anyway for your consideration and evaluation.

  • 2 weeks later...
Just a quick note. This IA clocks in at just under 8,000 words, which is sadly too much for me to able to go over tonight. I will try to hit it tomorrow, but it is a big one. Quick skimming of it suggests that you could perhaps trim down some of the story elements and focus more about giving us more insight into what they are like. That said, I will try my hardest to read and give a thorough overview tomorrow.

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