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Index Astartes: Hounds of the Hunt

Madwolf Shadowmane

By Madwolf Shadowmane
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GhostLegion Veteran

GhostLegion

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Before I really get going I want to say that the table right at the start is kind of off putting to me. Sure, this table has some interesting tidbits which have a bearing on the chapter, but I would prefer to see the info here incoroprated into the body of your IA, not left out on its own like this. If it is important enough to be included in the IA, then include it...if it does not have a significant role on developing the chapter for the reader, then leave it out.

 

Now then...lets see what I can find in here :)

 

the gene-stock of an anonymous Thunder Warrior of the Emperor
Madwolf Shadowmane Venerable Brother

Madwolf Shadowmane

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GhostLegion, thank you for your comments and insight. I have to say your reply was one of the most constructive I've received. I will contemplate the chart at the start of the IA, not sure how I would some of those tidbits in though. The Thunder Warrior phrase was meant as one of the various rumors on the origins of the Chapter. I'm trying to imply some things and be specific on some others. The biggest thing that I don't think I've gotten right yet is making sure readers get the impression that the Chapter knows where they come from but aren't sharing that secret. That paragraph is a remnant of a previous version. I will probably make it a sidebar. Trying to show devastation to the Chapter at the beginning of their 'known' history. I'm trying to pull off a feral, wolf-like tribal plains culture. I'm actually trying to figure out the best way to model a feather headress for my Chapter Master. Your opinion of my content was exactly the kind of comments I was looking for. I know what I want to say, I just need to know if I'm conveying them correctly. It seems I'm getting closer but I'm not quite there yet. Thank you again. I need to re-evaluate the flaws in my gene-seed. There quite a few defective zygotes compared to a pure gene-seed, but the Hounds gene-seed is not degrading any further. I only remember mention of the Adeptus Biologis has been in the context of studing xenos. I believe I first read about them in the old Death Watch IA in WD and then again in one of the Ultramarines books. I may be wrong but I remember some of the older fluff about the Horus Hearsay mention the High Lords of Terra placing the Traitor Legion's gene-seed in stasis. I would think the Inquisition would order it in modern times. I think the Adeptus Biologis would give the recommendation, but not the order to isolate the gene-seed. Thank you very much for your time in reviewing my IA. I will continue to revise as I go along.
Madwolf Shadowmane Venerable Brother

Madwolf Shadowmane

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I have finally included a decisive theme/purpose for the Hounds existence. I did some polishing as well. Its amazing, when you establish a purpose it makes lots of things easier. All comments welcome. Thank you for your time.
Ace Debonair Venerable Brother

Ace Debonair

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I have finally included a decisive theme/purpose for the Hounds existence. I did some polishing as well. Its amazing, when you establish a purpose it makes lots of things easier. All comments welcome. Thank you for your time.

 

Sure does make things easier. And what you've got right now does read much, much better than the early incarnations. Good stuff!

But... I'm still not sure what the theme of the chapter is. I'm getting a really serious 'hunters' vibe, and a vaguely 'tribal spiritualism' vibe, but not a lot else. This might sound like an odd request, but would you be able to spell out exactly what you want from the chapter? I mean, in terms of character and personality?

There's a good chance some of us Liberites will have some ideas for you to work with.

 

Oh yeah, I don't think it says anywhere who the Sire is anymore.

Might I suggest the option of making it their name for whichever primarch they descend from? (I mean, even if they don't know where they came from, they've still got to have a name for their primarch, right?)

Madwolf Shadowmane Venerable Brother

Madwolf Shadowmane

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I am going for a tribal spiritualism with a little blend of wolf totem. Their purpose is to hunt the enemies of the Imperium. When I first laid down the idea for these guys I wanted them to be a blend between werewolves and Space Wolves. Now I envision them as Native American flavor with some focus on the Cheyenne Wolf Warrior society. The funny thing is I started this current incarnation of the Chapter based on a specific weapon, the Bowlance. The Sire is mentioned as their founder (unless I accidentally edited it out). I want the identity/origin of the Sire to be vague. Thank you for your comments Ace, please keep them coming.
Ace Debonair Venerable Brother

Ace Debonair

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I am going for a tribal spiritualism with a little blend of wolf totem. Their purpose is to hunt the enemies of the Imperium. When I first laid down the idea for these guys I wanted them to be a blend between werewolves and Space Wolves. Now I envision them as Native American flavor with some focus on the Cheyenne Wolf Warrior society.

 

Oh, I see. I'm not too well-versed in native American stuff, so maybe that's why I didn't pick up on that.

 

The Sire is mentioned as their founder (unless I accidentally edited it out). I want the identity/origin of the Sire to be vague. Thank you for your comments Ace, please keep them coming.

 

Yeah, that's in there. I missed it the last time, despite reading the whole thing three times. :)

Madwolf Shadowmane Venerable Brother

Madwolf Shadowmane

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I'm reviewing my IA again, trying to polish the writing style and make the flow better. I'm thinking of removing the Dark Eldar attack from their early history. Looking for some insight from the Liber on what you think of this. Any and all comments welcome.
  • 2 weeks later...
Philip S Venerable Brother

Philip S

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I've been hunting down chapters for the project, and while creating the Hammers of Dorn image, I updated the image I created for your chapter (the one I used as a base for the little image in the 1,000 Chapter project).

gallery_25512_4096_24220.jpg

The idea was to make it kinda like one of those fancy 'forgeworld' shoulder pads.

I thought you may like it for your IA?

Philip

Madwolf Shadowmane Venerable Brother

Madwolf Shadowmane

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I'm gonna be working on version 4.0. I have decided to take a page out of Ace's book. I have some more coherent ideas for the combat doctrine and work from there. I'm also gonna break the IA back into an outline with the important parts I want and then build back into paragraphs. Comments and criticism welcome during the re-write.
Madwolf Shadowmane Venerable Brother

Madwolf Shadowmane

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could someone illuminate me to the reason I'm not getting much in the way of feedback anymore? Not sure what else I might need to do with my IA. I don't feel its ready for Liber submission yet, but I'm at a loss as to what might need fixing. Thank you for your time.

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