Walter Payton Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 Reserved for final copy. Just the intro so far. Please C&C ------ Blood Sample Confirmed... ++Thank You, Inquisitor++ ++Retrieving Datafile++ ++Retrieving...++ ++Retrieving...++ ++Ready++ ++Thought for the day: Death is a servant of the righteous++ Index Astartes: The Claws of Antioch “The mortar of the Imperium is blood. The stones upon which our holy Empire is built are held together with the essence of our enemies. Blood for the Imperium! Blood for the Emperor! Blood for Guilliman! Blood for Antioch! Let our enemies drown in it!”Protector-Champion Hervald Aurelius, at the outset of Operation Orontes Introduction “The Administratum call it the North-West Frontier. The Strategos call it ref-one-one-fifty. The people call it Antioch. I call it hell.”Corporal Remarque, 34th Harakoni, stationed on Bouillon III The Antioch Sector, also known as Guilliman’s Salient, is a small, unassuming, cluster of systems at the Northern Rim of the Segmentum Obscurus. Conquered in the middle years of the Great Crusade by forces of the Ultramarines Legion, it juts from the north-western edge of the Imperium, an unsightly ridge on the pristine starmaps of the Officio Cartographicae. It reaches like a great spike into wilderness space, surrounded by warp storms and hostile Xenos. Lord-General Ralé once famously described it as, ‘ a hellhole, a deathtrap, every two word composite in Gothic that describes unpleasantness can be ascribed to this, this, cauldron of blood and toil,’ shortly before his suicide in 01342 M34. He was not wrong. Warp Storm Saladaenus rages around the Galactic East of the sector, and the lawless reaches of wilderness space stretch to the north. Ork empires rise and fall, and space hulks are vomited from the turmoil of Saladaenus with appalling regularity. Eldar webway gates are located on several of the outlying worlds, and human pirate fleets from beyond the bounds of Imperial Space are a constant nuisance. Worst of all, Chaos incursions tear out of Saladaenus, laying waste to the surrounding systems. Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony. The Antioch sector, despite its tenuous nature, is of great value to the Imperium. Before the fall of the Techno-Emipre of Man at the end of the Dark Age of Technology, the Antioch sector was evidently an advanced outpost of Man, for derelict manufactorum equipment and ruins of ancient and advanced human civilisation dot the principal worlds. The Adeptus Mechanicus maintain several forge worlds within the system, and these are used as bases to scout the sector for potentially useful STC materials, (although, as has been the case many times, the only STC yet recovered was wrecked and inoperable, although several printouts were maintained by the tribal people who inhabited the world). The Inquisition maintain a base of operations in the system, and that itself causes strife between the two august bodies. In a sector beset, rife with internal strife and divisions, the Adeptus Astartes of the Claws of Antioch are a beacon of hope to the inhabitants. Entrusted with the sacred duty of watching over the sector and keeping the people of Antioch safe from the lawless chaos that seethes around them, their shining example is proof of the Astartes wisdom and strength in battle, their valour a thin black line between the Antioch sector and eternal damnation. Proud descendants of Guilliman, the Claws are tasked with patrolling the sector and defeating any threats from without, as well as ensuring that the political tensions within do not lead to serious division and collapse. The Imperial Governors of the system view them as protectors, the Mechanicum as little more than a useful resource, and the Inquisitors as allies. It is to the people of the Antioch sector that their allegiance truly lies however, not to the senatorial amphitheatres or Ecclesiarchal courts of the political stage. Although they maintain a close relationship with the Inquisition, as well as ties to the Mechanicum, the hearts of the Claws of Antioch are forever in the hands of the people. Be they, toiling hive workers, proud tribesmen, or agri-world farmer, the Claws of Antioch will lay down their lives in protection of those who cannot protect themselves. Although known for their valour in the Antioch sector, the chapter does fight further afield when situation permits. On the bloody grounds of Cadia, patrolling the outer reaches of the Maelstrom, or hand-to-hand with Kroot on the killing fields of Zeist, the Claws of Antioch fight for the people of the Imperium, and will give their last breath to defend them. Origins and Founding “Mercy is the Emperor's perogative, not Man's. He may show you mercy, trafficker with daemons, but I shall not!”Brother-Captain Dorylaeum of the Grey Knights, to Sehar the Daemonsmith at the Battle of Dorylaeum's Triumph The Antioch sector was home to a heavy Inquisitorial and Mechanicus presence even before the Claws of Antioch were founded in the 20th Founding. The sector had previously relied upon its resident PDF forces and the allied Skitarii forces for protection, as well as the occasional Inquisitorial taskforce. The sector had weathered storm after storm in this manner, and many believed, with typical Imperial arrogance, that it would endure many more. It was not until the latter decades of M36 that Fate saw fit to punish that arrogance. The churning shoals of Warp Storm Saladaenus vomited forth the space hulk Actaeon Gamma Gamma Tertius, a four million Imperial tonne conglomeration of shattered warships some of which had first impacted with the cursed mass before the very evolution of man. Aboard were the forces of the Dark Mechanicum, under the command of Sehar the Daemonsmith. Millions of corrupted Mechanicum ground forces, as well as tanks, aircraft and ships, mutated and forged in the blood of innocents, deep within the Eye. Most terrifying of all, a contingent of Titans from the dreaded Legio Mortis accompanied the Mechanicum invaders, along with half a Grand Company of Iron Warriors under the command of Warsmith Krommant. The incursion, known as the Iron Menagerie, destroyed untold thousands of planets, and was only ended by the courage of the Grey Knights and their allies at the Battle of Dorylaeum's Triumph. Even then, cowering in the fragile corridors of their forge-worlds, the Mechanicum regretted their arrogance, their conceit. They had ignored the warnings of history, and they had ignored the warnings of common sense. The tenuous position of the Antioch sector makes it a ripe fruit, and many of the Imperium's myriad foes would like nothing more than to be the first to pluck it. The Iron Menagerie was proof, unshakeable proof, that the Antioch sector needed more protection than the Mechanicus were capable of providing. As the final pieces fell into place for the final battle of the Iron Menagerie, the whispers for a new chapter were already gathering strength. At the Ninth Ferrum Conclave of Antioch, the highest ranking Magii in system agreed that such a scheme would require more political power than they possessed. It was with interest, then, that the Mechanicus read the dispatches from their informants in the Holy Ordos Antioch. After the destruction of the Iron Menagerie, and the subsequent campaign of retribution by the Imperium, decided that the Antioch sector needed more military power than the Adeptus Mechanicus could provide. The High Lords decreed that a new Space Marine chapter be formed for the defence of the sector and its inhabitants. The geneseed was elected from the stable Guilliman line. The new chapter was trained by the marines of the Axe Brethren, themselves descendants of the mighty Executioners chapter, and the Claws of Antioch inherited their parent chapters penchant for unshakeable loyalty, pragmatism and capable surface combat. The Claws place a great value, as their parent chapter does, upon martial honour and tournaments of the blade. Their first chapter master was a rising star in the Axe Brethren, Captain Fournier. And so it was that during the 19th Founding later that millennium, the Claws of Antioch, set forth from the red dust of the Martian muster grounds to carve themselves a tapestry of power and glory, for the Emperor and Antioch. Captain Fournier had risen through the ranks of the Axe Brethren to command their fifth company. He was a staunch believer in pragmatism, and drill. It was said amongst the Axe Brethren that his men could hit a grain of sand in the practice ranges. He often missed the rites of the Astartes due to his insistence on perfection. The finest shot in the chapter with a bolt pistol, and the greatest swordsman too, he passed his pragmatic, stoic mindset onto his new charges. He took the feudal world of Cappadocia as the homeworld, and the hardy warriors of the world made excellent recruits. Fournier himself remained the master of the chapter until his eventual fall and subsequent entombing in a dreadnought at the Battle of the Promethean's Eye. If there was one flaw that could be laid at Fournier's door, it would be an utter intolerance of the wearysome internal politics of the Antioch Sector. His melodramatics at many political events (he once threatened the Magos Palatine of the Mechanicus Antioch with summary execution) made him many enemies. Indeed, it was said that only in the Ordos Antioch, with its overwhelming Anomalian majority, could such an individual ever hope to maintain good relations with the Inquisition. The Mechanicus have become frostier towards the chapter in recent years, a process probably instigated by Fournier. Indeed, opinions of the man are polarized across the region, but it is without doubt that the inspired leadership of Captain Fournier led the Claws of Antioch from strength to strength. Their flagship bears his name, and he fights the enemies of the Emperor still, although he is no longer (by his own request), chapter master. 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Grey Hunter Ydalir Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 The only thing that jumps out at me is the mention of Medusa V. Typically it's best to avoid such locked-in canon events like this, since any retcon could stuff you over, and the last thing you want is to have to re-write something because of it. That said, it's only a passing comment and it isn't anything to make a big problem out of. I merely focussed on it because of time spent in Liber, and the time spent reading about chapters who took part in Armageddon, the Black Crusades and Medusa V, trying to make themselves 'cool' by association, not to mention having to actually make up less about their chapter. It's clear that's not happening here however. There is also the fact that there are no known Salamanders successors so perhaps alluding to it is better than stating it outright. I like what I've seen so far, it's well written for the most part with a couple of phrases here and there I wouldn't use, but that's not true criticism, just being picky. I like it, well done. :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2302102 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted March 2, 2010 Author Share Posted March 2, 2010 The only thing that jumps out at me is the mention of Medusa V. Typically it's best to avoid such locked-in canon events like this, since any retcon could stuff you over, and the last thing you want is to have to re-write something because of it. That said, it's only a passing comment and it isn't anything to make a big problem out of. I merely focussed on it because of time spent in Liber, and the time spent reading about chapters who took part in Armageddon, the Black Crusades and Medusa V, trying to make themselves 'cool' by association, not to mention having to actually make up less about their chapter. Can you explain this to me a bit more? I thought that something like Medusa V, which was a world-wide campaign, was fair game. I don't really care, and will remove it, sure, but I was just wanting to know for future reference. It it more to show that they don't just protect Antioch, but go and stomp enemies of the Emperor elsewhere. Thanks! There is also the fact that there are no known Salamanders successors so perhaps alluding to it is better than stating it outright. There are no known second-founding successors, due to the pitiful state the legion was left in at the end of the Heresy, but I am fairly certain there have been more since- see the Storm Giants and the Black Dragons. I like what I've seen so far, it's well written for the most part with a couple of phrases here and there I wouldn't use, but that's not true criticism, just being picky. Like the Warp-Storm bit? That was a bit silly, I admit, but I am changing it around now! Thanks for the compliments! :rolleyes: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2302256 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted March 3, 2010 Author Share Posted March 3, 2010 *boot to top of page COMMENT OR DIE! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2303198 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 *dies* *Ghostly Voice: Damn you* One minor point, so far... You've done what we all do when we mention the ==][==.. Saying they have a close relationship with them, rather than certain Inquisitiors. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2303211 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted March 3, 2010 Author Share Posted March 3, 2010 One minor point, so far... You've done what we all do when we mention the ==][==.. Saying they have a close relationship with them, rather than certain Inquisitiors. Not really. Inquisition in this instance refers to the Inquisitorial presence in the Antioch sector. Will change anyway. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2303233 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 One minor point, so far... You've done what we all do when we mention the ==][==.. Saying they have a close relationship with them, rather than certain Inquisitiors. Not really. Inquisition in this instance refers to the Inquisitorial presence in the Antioch sector. Will change anyway. In that case, it wasn't very clear :wink: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2303255 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Apostle Thirst Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Question: are your hand grenades holy? B) The name was kinda... ish. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2303316 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted March 3, 2010 Author Share Posted March 3, 2010 Question: are your hand grenades holy? B) The name was kinda... ish. No, I am not going to include Holy Hand Grenades, for John Cleese would sue me. '...ish'? What is that supposed to mean? Here are some links that may help you understand why I picked the name: Antioch Siege of Antioch First Crusade Principality of Antioch In coincidence with the Crusades theme, I may their geneseed from Vulkan to Dorn. Any thoughts? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2303347 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 As the interweb swallowed my earlier post: Be careful of Antioch - There is a Black Templar connection, Holy Orb possibly?, that I cannot remember! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2303352 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted March 3, 2010 Author Share Posted March 3, 2010 As the interweb swallowed my earlier post: Be careful of Antioch - There is a Black Templar connection, Holy Orb possibly?, that I cannot remember! The Holy Orbs of Antioch were crafted by a marine artificer of the same name. To be honest, that didn't influence me at all. I loved the idea of a far-flung outpost of the Imperium, as Antioch was for Christianity, very hard to defend yet also strategically important. Antioch is staying. The fact that there was an artificer of the same name is irrelevant. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2303363 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 As the interweb swallowed my earlier post: Be careful of Antioch - There is a Black Templar connection, Holy Orb possibly?, that I cannot remember! The Holy Orbs of Antioch were crafted by a marine artificer of the same name. To be honest, that didn't influence me at all. I loved the idea of a far-flung outpost of the Imperium, as Antioch was for Christianity, very hard to defend yet also strategically important. Antioch is staying. The fact that there was an artificer of the same name is irrelevant. Not quite the point I was making.. My point being I couldn't quite remember the connection - if it's just a name, cool. I wanted to do a Byzantine Chapter, never have gotten to it though! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2303364 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Apostle Thirst Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 Actually, I meant The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch... "one... two... five!" "three!" "Whatever!" If you are confused, you should go watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The fact that that wasn't what you had in mind isn't important; it's what I first thought of and that is bad for your chapter's image. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2303613 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted March 4, 2010 Author Share Posted March 4, 2010 Actually, I meant The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch... "one... two... five!" "three!" "Whatever!" If you are confused, you should go watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The fact that that wasn't what you had in mind isn't important; it's what I first thought of and that is bad for your chapter's image. I have seen (and loved) Monty Python and the Holy Grail, hence the reference to John Cleese (Sir Lancelot, if you don't know the names of the Pythons), in my reply to your first post. Also, the throwing goes thus: Arthur:One, two, five! Sir Lancelot: Three, sir Arthur. THREE! <throws grenade> If that is what you first thought of, then I'm sorry, but no one else sees to have commented on this. I don't really care, to be honest, most people should get the crusader reference, especially considering the insignia and colour scheme. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2303708 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grey Hunter Ydalir Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 but I am fairly certain there have been more since- see the Storm Giants and the Black Dragons. They are believed or rumoured to be Salamanders successors. There is speculation on such ties from actual Imperial scholars, what you personally believe or not is almost irrelevant. If you state catagorically that this chapter is a Salamanders successor and everyone knows it then you are essentially forcing part of the shared universe into your own image, which isn't good for everyone else. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2303929 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 Really good budding IA here! There are a few things though: -colour scheme: thought of one? -do they have black skin like the sallies or not? (I know that some say that it's from their sun but I think it's genetical.) -organisation: codex chapter? All I have to ask for now. I'll be watching this closely! ++Over++ Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2303935 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted March 4, 2010 Author Share Posted March 4, 2010 Really good budding IA here! There are a few things though: -colour scheme: thought of one? -do they have black skin like the sallies or not? (I know that some say that it's from their sun but I think it's genetical.) -organisation: codex chapter? All I have to ask for now. I'll be watching this closely! ++Over++ -Yes, will post -No, because I have just retconned them into successors of, well, I am coming out, I am, in fact, blue... :huh: -In the same vein as the Blood Angels-mostly Codex, but also with their own units and quirks Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2304007 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted March 4, 2010 Author Share Posted March 4, 2010 Colour Scheme up. The Ultras insignia is a placeholder. I plan to use winged Astral Clawsa or just the MM insignia. I will merge this into the IA, as well as an explanatory paragraph as to what the colours are symbolic of. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2304205 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 So its not just GW who retconn without advertising? :D Like the colour scheme, although the yellow-ish Bolter? Why??? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2304298 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted March 4, 2010 Author Share Posted March 4, 2010 So its not just GW who retconn without advertising? ;) Like the colour scheme, although the yellow-ish Bolter? Why??? 1st point-sorry! :P 2nd point-It will be like this, only that is beyond the capabilities of the current painter (not that I'm complaining or anything, the thing is great) What I was thinking of That is why there is a yellow stripe on the shoulder pad as well. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2304395 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 Ah hazard stripes! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2304430 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 They will say: "Beware! Here come the giant thugs who like yellow and black stripes!" :) Nice colour scheme you've got there by the way :lol: ++Over++ Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2304771 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted March 5, 2010 Author Share Posted March 5, 2010 Thank you guys! Will have to wait 'till at least tomorrow to update, because my laptop is away, so I have to use the school's comuters :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2304812 Share on other sites More sharing options...
voi shet magir Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 most people should get the crusader reference You are not most people. Write some more, please. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2304826 Share on other sites More sharing options...
tehkonraf Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Wow,a crusading chapter based in some manner on an actual crusader city. *high five*. Quick query: What sort of names are you going to use for your marines? I'd be inclined to go with french/italian names, as a way of seeming all crusadey without too much english influence (not that theres anything that wrong with english names or anything). Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/193761-index-astartes-the-claws-of-antioch/#findComment-2305002 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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