IA: Sons of Bennu

[Brother Argent]

Index Astartes: Sons of Bennu

Believing themselves to be immortal warrios whom are continuously reborn to serve the Imperium, the Sons of Bennu are a dedicated and fierce foe of the many enemies of man. From the isolated world of Jesusa the silver ships bearing these warriors come, to bring destruction to the traitor and the xeno and to bring judgement to the faithful dead. The Sons are truly a force to be feared, for when death holds no malice, what else is there to fear?

Origins:

“ By learning of the past, initiate, we can learn of our past selves. These past lives give us inspiration and strength. And, more importantly, they show us our pasts selves deeds, to make sure we are to afraid to screw them up.” Chief Librarian Algos Hellyr

An event largely forgotten in the histories of the Imperium, overshadowed as it was by the later Twenty First Founding, the Nineteenth Founding of the Adeptus Astartes was a comparatively non-descript affair. As hope was fast dimming in the Imperium with increasingly common incursions from the Eye of Terror and growing xenos threats what should have been a bright point in the histories instead barely registered a mention. It was, however, during this oft forgotten time that the Sons of Bennu were formed.

Chosen to be formed from the controversial geneseed of the Blood Angels and placed under a no less controversial leader, Captain Kaes of the notoriously blood thirsty Angels of Evisceration, the Chapter drew quite a stir at its founding. Kaes was recently returned from a catastrophic campaign against the forces of Jorungr the Revealer. Kaes’ strike force had been ambushed and slaughtered by the forces of the Arch-Heretic. It was only when Kaes’ commander was slain by a stray artillery shell that Kaes was able to take command of the force and change a hopeless rout into a somewhat orderly retreat. Kaes faced censure by his Chapter on his return, however his actions were held in high regard by sevral high ranking officials whom saw that the forces total destruction would have been a crippling blow to the war in the sub-sector. It is perhaps this defeat that would cause Kaes to lead his newly fledged Chapter away from the fierce style of the Angels. At the time of being granted control of the new Chapter Kaes saw his command as a chance for redemption, a belief that would later form much of his Chapter’s belief structure.

For the Chapter’s first mission they were tasked with defeating the Eldar forces whom had begun a series of predatory attacks against Imperial worlds in the furthest reaches of Segmentum Obscuras. Granted the battlebarge Angelus Dominus the Chapter launched its crusade.

Moving swiftly against the eldar forces Kaes was repeatedly frustrated by the Eldar’s hit and run tactics, never allowing themselves to be drawn into a full scale battle. Although his Chapter was successfully pushing the Eldar back from Imperial held worlds his was never able to strike a telling blow against his enemy. This came to a head when Kaes learned of a small eldar fleet above the previously undiscovered planet of Jesusa. Hopig to finally strike a telling blow Kaes led his force in a direct assault against the Eldar, hoping to pin them down until the Chapter’s support from the Imperial Navy arrived to strike the hammer blow. The Imperial Navy fleet, Fleet Barokan, was delayed during the Warp jump to the planet. Unfortunately that was what the Eldar had hoped for and with several pinpoint accurate strikes crippled the Angelus Dominus and forced the mighty battlebarge to take shelter on the planet.

The Eldar followed the stricken battlebarge to the planet side where they swiftly fell upon the marine forces. In what seemed like a eerily familiar situation Kaes realised that he had been lured to an ambush, much like his commander against the forces of Jorungr, and that it would likely lead to the destruction of his newly fledged Chapter. What he didn’t expect, however, was for the planets inhabitants to come to his aid. As the marines said their final prayers to Emperor and Primarch a great host of the planets inhabitants attacked the Eldar forces from behind. Caught in a pincer between the marines and the Jesusans the Eldar were swiftly driven off.

The battle won the marines made to repair the Angelus Dominus but soon realised that the mighty battlebarge was permanently grounded. Unable to get an astropathic signal from the planet Kaes sent one of the Chapters few remaining escorts to get help for the stricken Chapter. With the sub-sector being far from established Imperial space and their navy support lost the Sons made to deal with the situation as best they could. They stabilised the crashed battlebarge, returning some of its systems and facilities to life. They treated the wounded from the battle and did what repairs they could. The planet’s people helped them how they could and a bond formed between the Chapter and the people of Jesusa. The Chapter began to learn of the planet’s people. In particular Kaes was fascinated by the peoples belief in re-incarnation and the existence of a race of birds of fire called Bennu and the immortal warriors whom rode them into battle. Kaes saw the Jesusan’s belief in re-incarnation until a person was worthy to serve the Emperor as a sign of redemption. Feeling as though he had failed his Chapter by leading them to this ambush he hoped that perhaps he could be reborn to serve his Chapter and the Imperium anew. It would be many years before help would arrive to assist the Chapter. By that time the beliefs of the Jesusan’s had started to take hold in the Chapter. Kaes himself had become a strong believer in the idea of reincarnation and declared that from that point Jesusa would be their Chapter’s homeworld. He named the Chapter the ‘Sons of Bennu’ in honour of the mythological being and swore that from that point on his Chapter would always protect the people of Jesusa. When their reinforcements finally arrived and the Chapter was able to carry on the crusade Kaes left some of his Chapter behind to establish themselves fully on Jesusa whilst the rest tried to hunt down the rest of the Eldar fleet. It would be many years of skirmishes before the Sons would finally track down and destroy a large eldar fleet in the area. After its destruction the eldar attacks in the area stopped.

The Sons swore to protect Jesusa and the entire Abashor sub-sector in which it is located, a vow that they have kept to this day. However with the growing ork empire of Azdrog ‘Eadsmasha in the east of the Abashor sub-sector as well as the ever nearer threat of Hive Fleet Titan the Sons of Bennu look as though they will sorely tested as the Time of Ending draws near.

Homeworld:

“ Though I have long waited to return to our crusade against the Xeno now the time comes to leave Jesusa, I find myself longing to stay.” First Chapter Master Kaes

Bearing a climate and environment similar to ancient Terra the world of Jesusa has remained, for the most part, free of the many conflicts that have scarred the Imperium. Only re-discovered with the Sons arrival exactly how the planet came to be lost from records and, for that matter, when the planet was originally settled continues to baffle many in the Administratum. What is certain, however, is that whilst the planet of Jesusa is a paradise compared to some Astartes homeworlds the people there are hardy and courageous. Jesusa and indeed the whole Abashor Sub-Sector are frontier worlds, existing on the very borders of Imperium held space. Regardless of the great distance separating the worlds of Jesusa and Terra, however, the people are loyal to the Imperium to a man. Thus it is strange that the people of the sub-sector have developed a peculiar belief system and far from the heart of the Ecclisiarchy they have been, for the most part, free to do so.

When the Sons first arrived on Jesusa they bore no heraldry, instead their ship was plain silver. The people saw the arrival of these ships as the arrival of the warriors from their local mythology. The Jesusians believe in a mystical race whom come in great silver ships to take the souls of the dead to face judgement, where they are re-incarnated as fitting the deeds of their life. These warriors bore the blood of the Bennu, great fire immortal birds of fire whom the warriors would ride to battle. When Kaes and his warriors arrived on the planet the Jesusians took them to be these warriors of old and rushed to their aid. This belief of the nature of Kaes’ Astartes has stayed with the planet and indeed has become a major part of the Chapters cult.

When Kaes swore to the planet that he and his marines would stay to protect them they were taken by a cult of women, calling themselves the ‘Hand-Maidens’ to the remains of an ancient fortress island. They were told that this was the home of the sons of Bennu, a name that has stayed with the Chapter to this day. It was here they established their fortress monastery. Each Company went to one of the smaller fortress ruins on the island, with the First Company taking control of the massive tower fortress in the centre of the island. This tower, known as Silverspire, would come to house not just the First Company but the Chapters great relics, Apothacarium, Librarium and also became the home of the Chapter Master himself.

As one enters the fortress of Silverspire they come to a large Chamber, large enough to hold the entire Chapter. At the front of the room stands a massive brazier that contains a fire. This flame has never gone out since the Sons of Bennu took up residence in the fortress and it is believed it never shall whilst the Chapter still exists. This fire, known as the Eternal Flame, is sacred to the Sons and it is here that the bodies of those whom have fallen to the curse of the Chapter are burned, so that they may be purified.

Other then the massive fortresses of the island the only other major stronghold of the Chapter is the wreck of the Angelus Dominus. Although it was for the most part scavenged and then abandoned when the Sons went to the island it has since been repaired somewhat and turned into a massive fortress that stands at the end of the massive valley caused by its crash landing. This fortress, known as Angels Fall, is where much of the Chapter’s recruits train and where aspirants come to prove themselves worthy of the Chapter.

Combat Doctrines:

“ I am told the foe is strong and heavily armed. I am told that he will be hard to defeat. Of course I was told that by those weaklings of the Third House so it shouldn’t prove a problem for us.” Captain Kavarin Ezro of the Second Company

Where-as the successors of the Blood Angels have often been known for a savage ferocity and, in the case of the Angels of Evisceration, an almost berserk rage in battle, the Sons of Bennu seemed to have moved somewhat away from this style of warfare. Kaes, and the Chapter Masters whom followed, saw that this lack of control was in part a large contributing factor to both the original defeat of Kaes’ strike force and the later headlong rush into danger that lead to the ambush above Jesusa. Instead the Chapter teaches a more ordered approach to combat. This is, in part, an effort to attempt to control the curse that all Blood Angels carry in their veins. However when the Sons find themselves in battle each marine will fight to bring the greatest glory to himself and his Company, or House. Indeed it is not unknown for the Chapter Master to assign more then one Company to a particular campaign or conflict, as each Company will strive to out do the other. Despite this inter-Chapter rivalry between companies the Sons remain a united force when needs be and will willingly fight as one to defeat an enemy of the Chapter.

The Sons possess a fierce sense of duty towards the protection of Imperial life, in particular those of the Abashor system. This, combined with the Sons of Bennu’s often complete lack of self preservation, has led to the Chapter committing to desperate last stand style battles in the hope of protecting Imperial lives. These tactics have resulted in, on many occasions, the Chapter suffering extensive losses and, more recently, the near total loss of an entire company. To the Sons, however, to die in the defence of one you are sworn to protect is seen as a great act and indeed is the quickest way to honour your previous life. Following the recent destruction of the Fifth Company Chapter Master Kaes Eyzard, has begun to lead the Sons from such a self destructive style of warfare. He has begun to instil the attitude that whilst death in battle is an honour, unnecessary death is not. Whilst this more sensible idea has started to take hold there are still many in the Chapter whom seek nothing more then a glorious death is battle.

Although rare the Chapter serfs of the Sons, in particular the semi-obscure group known as the Handmaidens, have taken to the field alongside their Chapter. Often mostly in supporting roles, such as in place of servitors to assist Techmarines, or helping to care for the wounded after a battle these Serfs have become a valued, if somewhat fragile, asset.

Beliefs:

“ Through our veins flows the blood of heroes, and in our hearts dwells their soul. Honour them today, so that one day we may honour you.” Brother Sergeant Lesonis Vorun, Fifth Company

Jesusa’s isolation and massive distance from the heart of the Ecclesiarchy has allowed a somewhat different belief system to evolve on the planet. The people believe the Emperor to be their spiritual liege and that, if worthy, they go to join him upon death. This standard Imperial Creed is varied upon by one simple thing. The people of Jesusa believe in the idea of re-incarnation. They believe that you are continually reborn until you have proven yourself worthy to join Him. This belief has found its way into the heart of the Sons. Seeing themselves as the ferrymen of the dead, those whom bring the souls of the dead to be judged. They believe that they too are continuously reborn to serve until they are judged worthy. This is reinforced by the use of geneseed, with each brother feeling he carries a part of his ancestors with him. This sense of continual rebirth and judgement on the life and death of each marine effecting his future self has instilled wit the Sons an almost complete lack of self preservation. This, coupled with the Chapters strong sense of service to those weaker then themselves has caused heavy losses and is something that the current Chapter Master has been trying to moderate, before his whole Chapter is lost.

The Sons believe that, for a marine to re-enter the eternal cycle of rebirth, his body must be properly anointed and then burned in the Eternal Flame. Because of this the Chapter will fight fanatically to recover the body of a fallen marine, in particular that of a hero of the Chapter. Once the marine’s body is recovered his corpse is anointed with perfumes and returned to the Chapter Monastery. There it is brought before the Master of Sanctity whom judges the marine by the deeds of his life. If he is judged worthy his body is laid to rest in the Great Sepulchre. If he is found to have lived well, but not worthy to join the Emperor yet, his geneseed is reused and his body burned in the Eternal Fire. If the marine has fallen to the Black Rage or Red Thirst, or has been judged unworthy his body, geneseed and all, are burned, to purify his soul from its taint.

This belief that a body must be laid to rest properly has led the Chapter to have a reluctance of the use of Dreadnoughts and Servitors. They believe that for someone to be used in such a way removes them from the cycle of rebirth and, instead, bind their soul forever to the machine they inhabit. Although some still willingly make the sacrifice to be entombed in Dreadnoughts the Chapter rarely fields such venerable brothers. Instead of servitors the Chapter uses its serfs to fill the role. Although these serfs lack the strength of their machine counterparts, they instead posses an initiative and skill that is unable to be replicated by a machine.

Organisation:

:

“ Tyran Arto fell to the Shadow during the battle of Tyrant’s Gate. He has been put into stasis to await judgement.” Librarian Folkuyr Mebrit

Although following the Codex Astartes fairly closely the Sons have diverged slightly to further incorporate their unusual belief structure. The Chapter was reorganised into a system of Clan-Companies to follow the structure of the Sons of Bennu of mythology. Although these Houses, as they are known, follow the structure as defined in Guilliman’s Codex they are often required to act on their own. The only exception to this is the Tenth House, also known as the Houseless. These neophytes instead fight alongside other Houses until one of the neophytes attracts the attention of one of the other Houses leaders. At such a time he is offered ‘sponsorship’ by the House, where he will complete the required tests to become a full brother and then join his new House on the field of battle as a full brother. This system is the same for all the Houses apart from the First House whom recruits suitable marines from the other Houses. A marine or neophyte is free to decline sponsorship if he so wishes, although this is only a rare occurrence.

In further variance to the Codex and indeed their Blood Angel forefathers the roles of Librarian and Chaplain are somewhat different. Whereas in other Successors of Sanguinus it is the duty of the Chaplains to watch for the touch of the Curse it is instead the role of the Chapters Librarians in the Sons. This was to try to pre-empt the possibility of a brother falling, with the Chapter’ s Librarians able to see into the minds of the Chapters initiates. Chaplains instead fill the role of ‘Flame-Bearers’. They bear with them a brazier burning with a small flame from the Eternal Flame. It is their role on the battlefield to ensure the dead are given the appropriate rights. If it is deemed absolutely necessary they have been granted the rights to burn the bodies of marines in the holy fire thus returning them to the great cycle.

Unlike other Blood Angel Successors the Sons have no established ‘Death Company’. Instead those marines whom fall to the hereditary Black Rage or Red Thirst are simply removed from the battlefield by the Chapters Librarium staff. These marines are locked in stasis on-board the Chapter’s fleet. When the fleet returns to Jesusa these marines disappear. Although their fate is a secret rumours persist of an Eleventh House, also known as the House in Shadow, and whispers persist about the Great Labyrinth beneath Silverspire.

Geneseed:

“ I have faced countless foes. Fought xenos so foul, traitors so depraved. I have faced the worst daemons this universe has to offer. And yet the worst thing I have ever faced is the shadow within me. The Curse of Sanguinus.” Captain Koro Azarin, First Company

Formed from the noble geneseed of Sanguinus the Sons bear many characteristics of their fore-bearers. Like most children of the Winged Primarch the Sons are fair of face and angelic in demeanour. The mutation in their geneseed that causes this change in physical features also seems to react with the people of Abashor, causing the aspirants hair to go a fiery blonde and their eyes often to turn green. Also like their parent Legion the Sons of Bennu have a great appreciation for art and craftsmanship, and much of their Chapters armour and weapons are works of art in their own right.

Unlike their fore-fathers, however, the Sons seem to have been afflicted by the Curse of Sanguinus differently. Instead of marines being overcome with visions of Sanguinus last moments during the Heresy, instead the marines are simply overcome with a bloodthirsty rage. This rage is slow to set in but once a marine is fully in its sway he becomes nigh unstoppable. It is believed this change in the affliction comes from the difference in the method of Sanguination, or activation of the marines geneseed. Where-as most Blood Angel Successors drink the blood of Sanguinus, held by the Sanguinary High Priests, to activate the geneseed of the Angel Primarch, instead the Sons use a different method. Each marine, upon completion of his acceptance into the Chapter drinks from a spring in the temple of the Eternal Flame. The marine then bleeds six drops of his own blood into the water. Thusly each marine upon drinking from the pool imbibes the blood of every marine whom has gone before him in the Chapter. It is believed this dilution of Sanguinus pure blood has contributed to the Sons loosing their sacred link with the Angel Primarch.

Battle-cry:

:

“ Flames of the Bennu” often used as both a rallying call as well as a cry in the midst of battle.

[Brother Argent]

There we go. A very very very bad draft of my Chapter for the Iron Gauntlet. Considering I started the Challenge I figured I should ger of my tush and get started on the IA, since I have less then a month to go.

 

Sorry for the wall of textness and I hope to rewrite almost the entire thing.. This is mostly me just trying to get some ideas down for a good working over to help me get it finished.

 

Some may recognise these guys from an earlier attempt to do them as the Phoenix Legion. Well they have been reborn. How approapriate for a Chapter based on the Phoenix.

 

So tell me what you think so I can get this thing sorted before May 7th.

[Ace Debonair]

Hey, this has been a long time coming. ;)

Let's see if I can lend a hand.

 

First off - Why do the marines stay on the planet and recruit from the natives? There has to be some sort of conflict or hugely difficult lifestyle to generate worthy recruits, right?

 

Second - how exactly can the big fortress stay hidden from space marines but be known to natives who worship said marines? Wouldn't they fall over themselves to reveal their sacred fortress as early as possible?

 

The Sons have adopted much of Abashor’s belief in re-incarnation, believing that a person is continually reborn as a new person until they prove themselves worthy to join the Emperor. Such a belief has instilled in the Sons an almost complete lack of fear or self-preservation. For death in the Imperium’s name only serves to bring you one step closer to being worthy to join him. Each marine believes himself to possess the soul of an earlier brother and, as such, must continue to strive to their best to ensure the previous incarnation of themselves gains their eternal reward.

 

That's neat. Really neat. In fact, I wish I'd had that idea for my Infinity Knights. :P

Except for the highlighted part. Remember, ask a space marine what fear is and he's likely to respond 'is it an old word for 'four'?'

 

I'm sure others will pick out any errors that I've missed, but that was what stood out for me. ;)

Keep up the good work!

[Brother Argent]

Redone Origins and have started to re-do the rest of hte Article insto something half decent. Hopefully can get some comments soon so I can get this done for the Iron Gauntlet. I cant fail my own challenge now, can I...

 

Oh and thanks for the read Ace. I reckon I'll drop the whole hidden fortess bit when I get to it, instead have it constructed by the Chapter. I hope I've changed the section about by they stayed so it makes sense now too.

 

So everyone, please ravage away.

[Ace Debonair]

Ooh, cool.

 

Needs more stuff about Bennu, though. The people believe in it, but what is it?

Also, these guys are Blood Angels. Let's have some Death Company, shall we?

 

Apart from that it's none too shabby. :)

[Brother Argent]

Death Company and Bennu coming, just have to re-write those sections first. Thanks again Ace.

 

EDIT: Homeworld has been redone

[Ace Debonair]

Bennu, great fire immortal birds of fire whom the warriors would ride to battle.

:tu: For some reason reading that made me laugh quite loudly. At 6 am, too...

 

Homeworld section reads rather better now. Good stuff!

[Brother Argent]

Bennu, great fire immortal birds of fire whom the warriors would ride to battle.

:P For some reason reading that made me laugh quite loudly. At 6 am, too...

 

Homeworld section reads rather better now. Good stuff!

 

 

And fire...

 

Wow, dont know how I missed that one...

[NightrawenII]

I will try to be nice and polite, but:

Angels of Evisceration

I have never heard about these. You should use official successors of BA, Blood Drinkers or Flesh Eaters spring to mind.

 

Why would be Kaes chosen to be a Chapter Master of the new Chapter? He is obviously an adept for suicidal-penitent mission.

 

The battle of Jesusa, hmmmm...

1# The story is somewhat confusing, so I can't tell whether the Angelus Dominus is the only ship of SoB or the only ship present on the battlefield. No way for both cases.

The generall consensus for Battle Barges capacity is 3(4) companies. The Strike Cruiser have capacity of 1 company. As you can see there is no way how your chapter could have just one ship.

Secondly, running around without Escorts is suicide, especially in fight against Eldar.

 

2# Fighting pirates, corsairs or engaging enemies of Imperium in space is job of the Imperial Navy. Officially the Space Marines ships aren't qualified for space combat and any Space Marine ship-commander with half-brain will know it. So the Marines will focuse on the ground-fighting, while Navy will hunting Eldar ships. Nice and simple.

 

3# Again confusing sentence. Did the Angelus Dominus land on the Jesusa or not? Because such action is one-way ticket.

 

In particular Kaes was fascinated by the peoples belief in re-incarnation and the existence of a being they called the Bennu.

No, you are fascinated by their belief, any Space Marine worth his name will purge them for heresy.

 

Instead they have moves far from the usual style of battle of the Blood Angels and instead have adopted a very precise and cautious style of war.

instead- instead

 

It is believed this rigid format is to help them resist the Red Thirst during battle.

The Houses are all fiercely competitive, with each often trying to out do the other. This competitive nature is not only allowed but also encouraged by the Chapter Master as it tends to increase the performance of the marines involved. Houses are often intentionally assigned the same battles to make each other fight harder.

This is at odds with each other. You have either rigid and stern discipline or you encourage individual iniciative and personal bravery. The first supress Red Thirst, the later fuel it.

 

the Belief section talk about Abashor not about Jesusa.

[Brother Argent]

Thanks for the read Nightrawen. I'll try to answer some of your comments:

 

Angels of Evisceration: You haven't heard of them. Good, because I made them up. That was the whole point of it, to invent a founding Chapter so I can make them whatever I want. My idea is that the AoE are a successor of the Flesh Tearers in turn and my plan is to probably flesh them out at a later stage.

 

Why is Kaes chosen? Well your right. He does have a perchance for suicidal mistakes. Still, I wanted to portray a Founding Chapter Master whom wasn't perfect. My idea was that he was brash and perhaps more open minded then he should have been.

 

The Battle of Jesusa:

 

!. Yep, other then a few small escort fighters the Angelus Dominus is the only ship the SoB have. They are a newly founded Chapter and wouldn't yet have reached full strength. Very newly founded infact. As far as I see it a Chapter would take many years to build up both their marines to full strength and the ships to carry them. Of course the Chapter has achieved both by now.

 

2. Well the fighting wasn't exsplicitedly supposed to be ship to ship fighting. The SoB were sent to destroy the Eldar in the region, the battle above Jesusa was a mistake, an ambush that the Chapter fell for.

 

3. Yep. The Angelus Dominus kinda crash landed on the planet when its systems were crippled by the ELdar. Although I must ask why is this a one way trip? Surely with the correct skills and materials a ship could, once repaired, launch again from a planet. If not I'll reword this so that the ship became part of the fortress monastary.

 

Kaes facination with the peoples belief: As stated above perhaps Kaes was a little to open minded. It has precendence, Horus used to learn about hte culture of the worlds he was on. When I rewrite beleifs I will tie this more into the Imperial Cult.

 

As for the rest, I'm in the process of a complete rewrite so most of what you highlighted will disappear from the other sectons.

 

Thanks again for the read an hopefully I've explained myself better with these answers.

[NightrawenII]

Why is Kaes chosen? Well your right. He does have a perchance for suicidal mistakes. Still, I wanted to portray a Founding Chapter Master whom wasn't perfect. My idea was that he was brash and perhaps more open minded then he should have been.

Well, the Chapter Master should be near perfect, because he is Chapter Master. ^_^ It's great burden and responsibility and therefore the best of the best is much obliged.

 

!. Yep, other then a few small escort fighters the Angelus Dominus is the only ship the SoB have. They are a newly founded Chapter and wouldn't yet have reached full strength. Very newly founded infact. As far as I see it a Chapter would take many years to build up both their marines to full strength and the ships to carry them. Of course the Chapter has achieved both by now.

Ships are build in dockyards all over the Imperium, it takes 11 years to build Lunar class Cruiser on the Feral world and you have 55 years to amass any equipment you want(or need). What I gather the Chapters are build at full strenght. It's matter of resolution, why bother with half-assed solution, when you have resourses and will to make it properly. The thing with Imperiums is, when you start shout Adeptus, Inquisition or High Lords of Terra the speed of work increase exponentially.

And Escorts are light class of ships. ;)

 

2. Well the fighting wasn't exsplicitedly supposed to be ship to ship fighting. The SoB were sent to destroy the Eldar in the region, the battle above Jesusa was a mistake, an ambush that the Chapter fell for.

The article talk about small Eldar fleet, even with Battle Barge the marines will have problems.

 

3. Yep. The Angelus Dominus kinda crash landed on the planet when its systems were crippled by the ELdar. Although I must ask why is this a one way trip? Surely with the correct skills and materials a ship could, once repaired, launch again from a planet. If not I'll reword this so that the ship became part of the fortress monastary.

AFAIK, the ships are build in orbit and in other two occurrences in fluff the clash landing was one-way ticket.

[Brother Argent]

Okay so I've finished the re-write. I'm starting to look at adding some new things like Side Bars and the Marine Image, as well as I'll put in some quotes etc soon.

 

Also going to add some things and change some things based off Nightrawen's comments (yes, I was listening). Any and all comments greatly appreciated. I wont get this done for the Iron Gauntlet but I want to at least come close.

[Ace Debonair]

When the Sons first arrived on Jesusa they bore no heraldry, instead their ship was plain silver. The people saw the arrival of these ships as the arrival of the warriors from their local mythology. The Jesusians believe in a mystical race whom come in great silver ships to take the souls of the dead to face judgement, where they are re-incarnated as fitting the deeds of their life. These warriors bore the blood of the Bennu, great immortal birds of fire whom the warriors would ride to battle. When Kaes and his warriors arrived on the planet the Jesusians took them to be these warriors of old and rushed to their aid. This belief of the nature of Kaes’ Astartes has stayed with the planet and indeed has become a major part of the Chapters cult.

 

So... how would the population take to the new purple heraldry that was brought in?

I should've spotted this sooner, but I only just found out your guys were purple. B)

Must've missed the picture last time.

[Brother Argent]

How would I know you would be the first to post up when I updated. Oh, because your awesome, thats why. :tu:

 

In all seriousness the picture wasnt there last time. And as for the purple heraldry, well I only said the ships had to be silver. The colour purple is actually what one of the original names for the phoenix came from (cant remember which one) and is used to represent nobility or royalty in most cultures. I thought the colour was appropriate. Besides, its also my favourite colour. :woot:

 

Seriously, if you get a chance can you give this a good once over Ace? I love your IAs and your creative enthusiasm. That is to say I value your opinion and, at the moment, its one of the only ones I've got.

[Ace Debonair]

How would I know you would be the first to post up when I updated. Oh, because your awesome, thats why. :P

 

I've had that said by at least two people now, so that makes it official. :D

 

Seriously, if you get a chance can you give this a good once over Ace? I love your IAs and your creative enthusiasm. That is to say I value your opinion and, at the moment, its one of the only ones I've got.

Sure. A bunch of rascally traitors have got me pinned down, and it's become something of a siege, so this'll kill some time while they waste their ammo on my defences. <_<

 

When their battlebarge was finally repaired and able to carry on the crusade Kaes left some of his Chapter behind to establish themselves fully on Jesusa whilst the rest tried to hunt down the rest of the Eldar fleet. It would be many years of skirmishes before the Sons would finally track down and destroy a large eldar fleet in the area. After its destruction the eldar attacks in the area stopped.

 

Alrighty. I think a better take on this would be to draw attention of the Imperial Navy (who have all the guns on their ships) to kill the Eldar. Just have your marines find and track the devious so-and-so's while beckoning to the nearest Imperial fleet with the other hand. :P

 

Thus grounded they began to learn of the planets people. In particular Kaes was fascinated by the peoples belief in re-incarnation and the existence of a being they called the Bennu.

These warriors bore the blood of the Bennu, great immortal birds of fire whom the warriors would ride to battle.

Pick one, edit the other. :)

Kaes was so impressed by the peoples courage and prowess, as well as their devotion, that he declared the chapter would be henceforth known as the Sons of Bennu and would call Jesusa their home.

As I found out much to my cost, it's unlikely that cultures on a world would have such immediate impact on Astartes. I realise that this is important to the chapter, and GW has probably been guiltier of stranger things, but I'm not sure a flat 'the-culture-made-me-do-it' approach will work. Perhaps he could meditate on the name of the chapter and see one the Bennu in a vision or something? Or perhaps he could even choose the name deliberately to make the people of Jesusa trust the marines more, in a devious and underhanded way, but I'm not sure that fits the chapter.

Despite this inter-Chapter rivalry between companies the Sons remain a united force when needs be and will happily fight as one to defeat an enemy of the Chapter.

Happily? I know what you mean, but perhaps 'willingly' fits the grimdark tone better.

The Sons possess a fierce sense of duty towards the protection of Imperial life, in particular those of the Abashor system. This, combined with the Sons of Bennu’s often complete lack of self preservation, has led to the Chapter often committing to desperate last stand style battles in the hope of protecting Imperial lives.

Not often, surely. Otherwise you'd have very few marines left. ;)

 

That's the best I can do regards criticism.

Now I really must dash, I can hear the click of empty bolters.

[Brother Argent]

Thanks Ace. I'll get onto editing those tomorrow (currently 11.53PM here and I'm feeling rather tired). Hit me up if you se anything else that needs fixing.

[Brother Argent]

So I've edited things here and there, added some quotes and generally messed around with things. I know its not much more to go on but if anyone has any comments etc then please fire away.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

What he didn’t expect, however, was for the planets inhabitants to come to his aid.

 

Quickly scanning the article this jumped out at me.

 

To the relatively speaking, backward Jerusian people both the Astartes and the Eldar would have been virtually equally alien to them. What exactly made them come to the Marines aid or even venture onto a battlefield between two of what would have seemed godlike forces battering one another in a seemingly titanic conflict?

 

It would be many years of skirmishes before the Sons would finally track down and destroy a large eldar fleet in the area.

 

The problem here is that the Eldar have pretty much the most advanced space faring vessels this side of the Necron Tomb-Ships. They are faster than anything the Imperials can muster and so maneuverable to compare their ships to a remote control car and the Imperial ships to fridges. Without casters.

 

The only tactic that works is to pretty much carpet bomb an area of space that the Eldar ship is known to be in. Not a terribly effective tactic when you're talking about an almost frictionless three dimensional plane. Add onto that the Eldar's frighteningly effective weapons and their use of holographic projectors to throw you off and you're looking at an extremely one-sided fleet engagement, or lack of one considering the Eldar could just walk away from the comparatively crawling Imperial fleet.

 

It would be far more effective to say they found and obliterated a small network of Webway gates, or one of the larger ones that would limit Eldar movement in the area. Their fleets are few and far between so this would probably be a larger threat given that the original fleet probably moved on from that region of space a long while ago at that stage.

[Brother Argent]

Thanks for the read GHY. I was thinking that the reason they came to the marines aid was the whole Bennu legend thing, perhaps I have to make that clearer. As for the defeating the eldar. That was one thing that I though over myself when doing this latest edit. PRobably a good sign it needs to change. Oh and I love the analogy.

 

Thanks again

[Lysimachus]

Hi SP, sorry its taken me so long to look in on this. I have read it a couple of times but to be honest I really struggle with BA Successors in general, so didn't have a lot to add! :D

 

Anyway, had more of a think about it and one little thing that stood out to me was the stuff about Marines who fall to the Red Thirst/Black Rage being removed entirely. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but don't all of them struggle with the Red Thirst (isn't it the bit that affects all of them and they can control/come back from), whereas the Black Rage is the uncontrollable one that they get put in the DC for? Seems like if they removed both groups, there wouldn't be many Marines left?

 

Also, this is compounded by the bit about destroying the gene seed of anyone who falls to the curse. The Chapter is going to very quickly end up with extremely low stocks of gene seed. If they believe in reincarnation, wouldn't using the gene seed be seen as giving them another chance to do better, and to achieve the goal of joining the Emperor? Come to think of it, perhaps the longer a warrior can hold off the effects of the curse, living a long life in service to the Emperor, the more he would be considered to have earned a place at his side?

 

 

A few grammar issues too, when you're happy with the content, I'll give a thorough look through!

[Brother Argent]

Hi SP, sorry its taken me so long to look in on this. I have read it a couple of times but to be honest I really struggle with BA Successors in general, so didn't have a lot to add! :D

 

Anyway, had more of a think about it and one little thing that stood out to me was the stuff about Marines who fall to the Red Thirst/Black Rage being removed entirely. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but don't all of them struggle with the Red Thirst (isn't it the bit that affects all of them and they can control/come back from), whereas the Black Rage is the uncontrollable one that they get put in the DC for? Seems like if they removed both groups, there wouldn't be many Marines left?

 

Also, this is compounded by the bit about destroying the gene seed of anyone who falls to the curse. The Chapter is going to very quickly end up with extremely low stocks of gene seed. If they believe in reincarnation, wouldn't using the gene seed be seen as giving them another chance to do better, and to achieve the goal of joining the Emperor? Come to think of it, perhaps the longer a warrior can hold off the effects of the curse, living a long life in service to the Emperor, the more he would be considered to have earned a place at his side?

 

 

A few grammar issues too, when you're happy with the content, I'll give a thorough look through!

 

 

Heh, grammar. The moldlines of writing...

 

As far as the Red Thirst goes what I mean is those whom give in to it. All BA feel the Red Thirst, a desire to drink blood, enemies or friends. Most BA fight against and surpress this thirst. However marines may sometimes fall, either being unable to ressist the Red Thirst anymore or just stopping caring about stopping it. It is these marines, those whom give themselves up to the curse, that are deemed to have fallen. They have basically let their inner daemons taint their soul permanently.

 

At least that is my idea, anyway. I must admit I have been sorely tempted to switch from BA geneseed on multiple ocasions with these marines but I feel for the way I want them they need to have this internal struggle wit htheir darker nature. That nad the loads of bling and being pretty boys. But that is something else entirely.