The Vikars - White Scars succesor chapter

[Ashur]

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[Ace Debonair]

Cool.

 

Problem with dreadnoughts, though, is that they eventually go insane if they're running all the time. And as time goes on, he'd need to spend more and more time 'asleep'.

 

Although, I suppose that could work, and make Ashur more and more paranoid - suspecting people of subverting his leadership when they're just trying to keep him sane.

[NightrawenII]

...including the unusual reverence for is Chapter Master that remain to this day...

Are you reffering to "Vikar of Jaghatai"?

 

Good story, but one must wonder how such dangerous guy get the position of Chapter Master.

[voi shet magir]

Wait, if you keep all your bullets on your chest, what happens when you get shot in the chest? Probably not much different from normally getting shot in the chest, I guess.

 

Goar should also be an extremely brutal guy; even with Ashur picking on him, he does not automatically become sympathetic. At some point, his brutality should cause him problems - defectors and rogue marines, beyond planetary unrest.

[Ashur]

Cool.

 

Problem with dreadnoughts, though, is that they eventually go insane if they're running all the time. And as time goes on, he'd need to spend more and more time 'asleep'.

 

Although, I suppose that could work, and make Ashur more and more paranoid - suspecting people of subverting his leadership when they're just trying to keep him sane.

 

Thanks for the comment everyone.

 

Indeed, he cant be awake all the time. But the fact that they constantly wake him up is slowly affecting him.

 

...including the unusual reverence for is Chapter Master that remain to this day...

Are you reffering to "Vikar of Jaghatai"?

 

Good story, but one must wonder how such dangerous guy get the position of Chapter Master.

 

I am indeed refering to Ashur Khan. Im thinking of calling the chapter "the Vikars" and giving him the title of first vikar. Every chapter master would inherit the title, but since Ashur is still around, he is THE vikar to the eyes of the chapter.

 

The entire point of the Ashur character is that no one know anything about the chapter history before he shows up and retake Aul-Khoumara from the xenos. It could be that there is something dark in there past (or Ashur past), and that their ruthless faith to their primarch is a way to make penitence for something. Of course by M42, only Ashur knows what happened to his chapter between the creation and the age of Apostasy, and he aint talking.

 

It also mean that we dont know the date of their creation.

 

Wait, if you keep all your bullets on your chest, what happens when you get shot in the chest? Probably not much different from normally getting shot in the chest, I guess.

 

Goar should also be an extremely brutal guy; even with Ashur picking on him, he does not automatically become sympathetic. At some point, his brutality should cause him problems - defectors and rogue marines, beyond planetary unrest.

 

Im currently working on Goar fluff, from the moment the chapter recruit him. In that fluff, I will try to explain the two basic ideas behind my chapter: ruthless on one side and staunchly loyal to their allies and ready to work alongside other imperial forces. They respect to the letter two doctrines of Jagathai: the vicious combat tactics and the ideal of unity.

 

Finaly a more complete homemade fuff about this guys. It took me a lot of time to wrote it in english and I'm not sure if it is correct.

I still must rewrite the origins and give some background on the chapter master.

 

Comments and critics are most welcome.

[NightrawenII]

Origins.

Nothing was known about this chapter, until the end of the Age of Apostasy. The first reference talk about the actions of Ashur, a vicious warrior who launched a devastating campaign in a particular system that had fall to dark eldar invasions and rebelious governors trying to carve their own local empires during the civil war.

- Emperor spare us the Chapters with Origins shrouded in mystery! ;)

- Ok., I'm a bit short on the new fluff, but DE don't do invasions, they are raiders and corsairs.

 

One of the planets was Khumara, where the chapter fought side by side with the highlanders against dark eldars and acquired is characteristics, including the unusual reverence for Ashur that remain to this day.

- Aha, the usual definition: one battle > xy years of history. :P

 

His actions and ruthless victories shaped his battle-brothers to the point that he is seen as a founder almost as much as the primarch. The superstitious local warriors remember and worship him as a symbol of their hate and xenophobia. As for his battle-brothers, they feared and respected him to the point of going against one of their tribal belief inherited from the White Scars.

- Once again, one dude > xy of other dudes. :o

 

Every ten years, when the Vikars come down from the Vulture Bastion to find recruits, the entire planet burn in a general holocaust, the tribes making war with no other reason than prove their worth in the eyes of the gods.

- I think the "holocaust" is not the best word to use, considering the historical reference.

 

++++

To be honest, you should drop this whole Origins-shrouded-in-mystery angle. As it stands now, it certainly doesn't add anything interesting to your Chapter.

2nd, the Ashur is like fist into eye. The origins section all about him and his deeds, where it should be about your Chapter. I know, he is important figure of the Chapter, but one guy is not definition of entire Chapter.