A Jackal's amusment

[Rune Priest Ridcully]

Just thought of this so have typed it out, would like to expand it into a proper story so any advice and opinions welcome

 

The temple entrance hall was dark and empty, with only a few scattered candles for light. Then the great stone doors of the entrance were blown in, shards of stone as big as a man ripped across the hall, light poured in, followed by giants in blue armour with an upside down omega symbol on their shoulder pads, a full grown man would only have come up to their chests and fitted his fists in the barrel of their guns. They were Ultramarines, space marines of the immortal God Emperor of mankind, each on were. Their commander, a marine carrying a sword as long as a mortal man was tall with a red cloak, fell to the floor.

Captain Garonius Stugilla of the ultramarines faith company screamed, what had happened? One second he was leading his company against a suspected chaos cult, the next, he was... here. Wherever here was it seemed he was under water, yet the water was multi coloured, as he looked around, his mind started to crumble, he saw packs of things that resembled a terrible cross between crow and shark, daemons that gibbered under the four suns that burnt beneath the sea, the wolf prostrate before the Cyclops, the wandering lizard free he who was trapped within his own flesh, the dragon rise, the torture the Isha, and the raven that rescued her, where did that name come from? When had the tails of wolves and jackals bind him to what felt like a floor yet was not there, then he saw below him, they were discs of blue flesh, as wide as his swords length, yet thin as a bolter, of course bolters didn’t have teeth, hehehe look at the shiny teeth, how they glitter!

Then an emotion long suppressed consumed him, he desperately tried to move as the discs shoot up to him, he did not notice the blood come from his throat as he screamed, not notice the tails that dug into his armour shudder in disgust as his body voided itself in fear, or the sharp pain as his secondary hear tore itself apart as the discs slammed into an invisible barrier less than an inch away from him, then falling away and being devoured by a white rabbit, or the chuckle behind him.

His screams were silenced as a serpent dove into his mouth and clamped onto his tongue as the tails lifted him upwards, he saw there were no actual Jackals or wolves, just the tails, the tails and the sorcerer.

His calmed as he saw the sorcerer of the Thousand Sons, the mark 4 armour covered in hieroglyphs that shone like the golden hair of Melissa, Melissa, how long had it been since he saw her, it was his attempts to impress her that caught the recruiters attention, all those years ago on Maccrage, wait the sorcerer was walking to him, those grey and turquoise robes flowing about him, his dark spear hitting the glass floor with delicate tinks, “Your arrogance caused this you know.”

Garonius did not know what the sorcerer was on about, he had followed the codex to the letter, how could this have happened, the wisdom of his primarch was above all others!

“And there it is, the arrogance that has undone you, and shall undo you legion, do not lie, you know as well as I do that the master of Maccrage still commands the 13th legion, regardless of how you hide it, the sons of the disgrace of a primarch you worship shall burn.” The Contempt and disdain in the Sorcerer’s voice was overwhelming, how dare he talk like that to him, him, a traitor, dared to think he was equal, let alone better than an Ultramarine, the tails that bound him slunk off him, he bit down on the serpent and spat it out and rose and charged at the sorcerer.

“How dare you, you witch, to speak of Roboute Guilliman like that, he is the successor of the Emperor, the greatest of all his sons, where Mangus, Sanguinius and Russ were mutants he was pure, where Sanguinius, Vulcan and Fulgrim were soft, he was strong, he should have been warmaster!” the rage of Garonius was crushed by that of the sorcerer as he slapped Garonius, shattering his helmet and knocking him to the ground.

“you, you, to speak of that the coward like he was even half primarch of any of the others, where they either raised themselves or were brought up on undeveloped worlds and developed them, he was handed it on a plate, where others had to fight to survive, he had tutors and luxury, did he fend off dark elder with nothing but mere Blacksmiths hammers, raise a world from poverty to fine culture, bend his being to understanding the universe, no! To speak of Sanguinius like you have that is a disgrace and to blaspheme against his memory like you have, where he died to help the Emperor defeat Horus, where was your holy Guilliman then? Hiding in his own kingdom, don’t tell me a group of mindless fanatics were able to hold up the entirety of the largest legion for that long, Sanguinius was the greatest of the primarchs, he was the successor to the Emperor, I would throw you to the daemons now if it was not for the orders of Anubis, do not ask me why he wishes you alive but just be thankful for his misplaced mercy, Russ may have been tricked by Horus, but least he was honest and had had honour.” The sorcerer held a hand over Garonius and he was consumed in fire, his armour blistered and cracked, his eyes melted in their sockets, his hair burnt and his skin puckered, then the fire stopped.

“You would destroy my plaything too easily Zarathustra, I have some good news to give him” the deep voice contained a mirth and glee that was almost infectious, but as Garonius turned and saw the speaker, his eyes agonisingly re grown as the fire went out his hope that had risen when saved from the fire evaporated.

The daemon prince was as tall as the Eldar daemon that lord Calgar had defeated, though completely different, like some terrible ancient god, he strode forward towards him, he seemed like a man in shape initially but as his eye focused it became horribly clear, where a normal mans head should have been was that of a Jackal, his whole body covered in short ebony coloured fur, the white loincloth had hieroglyphs written in a dark purple ink that seemed to whisper dark and fell messages, the cloak around his shoulders that flowed behind him was the same purple as the hieroglyphs, he was shocked to see the beast’s belt carrying the Imperial Aquila, the golden armbands stood out from the dark fur, but it was the Jackal head that was worse, a grin that contained as much glee as those eyes, those eyes, the eyes, the eyes, the EYES!

Librarian Pipus of the Ultramarines relaxed, he always relaxed whenever he opened the shrine of Primarch at the beginning of the day, it was a great honour and always would clean the shrine himself rather than have servitors do it out of respect for the Primarch, this time as he opened the doors though, his mouth fell open out of shock. There, in front of the primarch, was a figure in the battered, burnt armour of an Ultramarine, his eyes plucked out, and face a mess, a broken sword in his hand, the honour guard of the Primarch dead at his feat.

But that was not the worst, which were the ravings. “The eyes, the eyes, the wolf and Cyclops’s final embrace, under the sea, he he, the moons of th’rlgn’euli, jk’dg, nodkas, snumi, the raven, the raven , hehehe, Maccrage burning, Maccrage burning, fetch the engine, fetch the engine, ytop, cthilp ra’yth stargen, MOOMIN, gi’yt gi’th hehehe, Jackal Jackal Jackal Jackal, ohh a mushroom. The dragons rise and the devourer comes!” was all he said as the captain leapt at the librarian, landing at his feet, sobbing and muttering.

Not too happy about the ending, did I portray the insanity okay?

[Ufthak]

Haha, I really liked the insanity at the end, and though it could be done better, I think it's good!

 

(Though, coming to think of it, it does slightly remind me of Monty Python's "Knights who say 'Ni'":

"Ecky ecky ecky pi'tang rooooop boing!")

 

:D

 

I do think you need to rework the text quite a bit, but I like the idea!