Disciples of the Jackal

[SonofTerra]

Okay, i was told that this was the best website / forum to come to for DIY help

 

So i will give a basic outline of what my ideas are/were and hopefully the criticism and comments will help flush out a cool chapter.

 

Basics: (a pre-emptive yes i know i broke some of the DIY do's and dont's after reading the guide so dont flame me too bad for that)

Also, i will be using the SW codex to start. possibly using the vanilla and BA codexes eventually (roll a d3 to see which i use each game type of thing)

 

A small group of marines 50-200ish from a traitor legion (ya ya, we will call them world eaters for now) who did not partake in the dropsite massacre, even if their legion did, escape and go into hiding thinking that they will be instantly killed or hunted down as traitors. They change their name and appearance while setting up base in a fringe segmentum of the imperium. After a long time their numbers have slowly increased or stayed the same (they only have so much armor of course) and the chapter responds to a distress call on the far side of its "territory" only to arrive too late. The planets population has been nearly decimated and the severly weakened (insert invading xenos here) are still in battle with the scouts of an unfamilair astartes chapter. The (xenos) had managed to destroy nearly half of the chapter as they came out of warp space and all but the remaining scouts up until this point.

 

The loyal "world eaters" join the fight and help to elimate the rest of the xenos threat. After the two astartes forces finally meet the scouts reveal that they are called the Disciples of the Jackal. A 21st founding chapter who up until this point have been a crusading type army. Never at full strength b/c they are a fairly new chapter and for reasons which the scouts have not been cleared to hear yet. The rumor amongst the scouts is that their gene-seed was not taken purely from one source and that this mixture has led to some extreme but rare mutations.

 

The two small forces then merge into one keeping the name the Disciples of the Jackal. It benefits both parties, the ex-world eaters no longer have to hide, and the scouts gain battle brothers who have experience, and the ranks of their chapter are bolstered (also all the dead marines gives some extra, albeit unstable, geneseed.)

 

Other info:

 

My original idea was to combine SW and BA geneseed possibly in an experiment to cure the sanguinus curse gone wrong, with the mutation being a bad mix producing a hybrid...one who has fallen to both the curse of the wulfen and the red rage. These would be represented by Lone wolves (2 in my list) as their stats are way to strong to be a normal marine...

 

Chapter is organized into Tribes or clans. Placement in these clans is mainly determined by what geneseed you are thought to possess

 

3 clans to start with, Eagle, Jackal, and Drake(or other scaled animal) each with the same main color, either dark brown or dark gray i havent decided, with a different color of trim. Ex. eagle clan will have white helmets with yellow facepieces, jackals have lots of furs, drakes may have blue or green scales etc.

 

Ok! destroy the idea so it can be built back up much stronger!

 

Thanks for reading

[NightrawenII]

Okay, i was told that this was the best website / forum to come to for DIY help.

You was told right. ;)

 

I don't understand what are you trying to do with these "world eaters". If it has some purpose, you forgot to mention it and frankly put, it will be good for us to know.

The "hidding" thing hmmm... well the imperial mills work very slow, but they work nevertheless. After 5k years these guys will be tracked down and hunted by the Inquisition or their fellow Astartes.

Scouts never ever fight alone. They are too valuable, inexperienced and "badly" armed to left them fight in the first line. So there will be at least one Battle company of battle brothers of Disciples.

 

The two small forces then merge into one keeping the name the Disciples of the Jackal. It benefits both parties, the ex-world eaters no longer have to hide, and the scouts gain battle brothers who have experience, and the ranks of their chapter are bolstered (also all the dead marines gives some extra, albeit unstable, geneseed.)

"Hello, we are traitor marines from Horus Heresy." "Hello, we are scouts from loyal Astartes Chapter. Lets work together!"

... and everyone live happili until death.... yeah right. :D

 

My original idea was to combine SW and BA geneseed possibly in an experiment to cure the sanguinus curse gone wrong

Mixing two mutated gene-seeds to cure the mutation doesn't make sence.

[Ace Debonair]

Okay, i was told that this was the best website / forum to come to for DIY help

We do what we can. :cuss

 

So i will give a basic outline of what my ideas are/were and hopefully the criticism and comments will help flush out a cool chapter.

 

Basics: (a pre-emptive yes i know i broke some of the DIY do's and dont's after reading the guide so dont flame me too bad for that)

Also, i will be using the SW codex to start. possibly using the vanilla and BA codexes eventually (roll a d3 to see which i use each game type of thing)

 

For all intents and purposes the codex/codicies you want to use do not matter to the story. Especially if you plan to use all different ones.

 

The loyal "world eaters" join the fight and help to elimate the rest of the xenos threat. After the two astartes forces finally meet the scouts reveal that they are called the Disciples of the Jackal. A 21st founding chapter who up until this point have been a crusading type army. Never at full strength b/c they are a fairly new chapter and for reasons which the scouts have not been cleared to hear yet. The rumor amongst the scouts is that their gene-seed was not taken purely from one source and that this mixture has led to some extreme but rare mutations.

 

The two small forces then merge into one keeping the name the Disciples of the Jackal. It benefits both parties, the ex-world eaters no longer have to hide, and the scouts gain battle brothers who have experience, and the ranks of their chapter are bolstered (also all the dead marines gives some extra, albeit unstable, geneseed.)

 

No, the two sides would engage in a battle to the death to expunge the hated traitors from existence. The world eaters would have little choice - fight back or die. :lol:

This is one of the many, many problems when faced with trying to make loyal-traitor-succesors.

 

My original idea was to combine SW and BA geneseed possibly in an experiment to cure the sanguinus curse gone wrong, with the mutation being a bad mix producing a hybrid...one who has fallen to both the curse of the wulfen and the red rage. These would be represented by Lone wolves (2 in my list) as their stats are way to strong to be a normal marine...

I have to agree with NightrawenII, two wrongs do not make a right. :cuss

 

3 clans to start with, Eagle, Jackal, and Drake(or other scaled animal) each with the same main color, either dark brown or dark gray i havent decided, with a different color of trim. Ex. eagle clan will have white helmets with yellow facepieces, jackals have lots of furs, drakes may have blue or green scales etc.

Eagles, Jackals and male ducks....? :huh:

Scaly male ducks? They make them different where you're from, is all I can say.

 

If you want loyalist World Eaters, you are much better off creating another chapter that has all the desired traits of the World Eaters with an unknown geneseed. Hint at them being a bit like the World Eaters, but don't make it obvious - even have the chapter say it's from another line, perhaps.

 

A World-eater-blood-wolf-space-angel combo sounds like the Khorniest chapter ever. (See what I did there? :P )

It might be better again to just make a 'normal' loyalist chapter that's got a lot in common with pre-heresy WE. If you want to stick with actual loyalist traitors, we'll help as much as possible, but be warned - it's usually by blasting big holes in any ideas that don't work. :cuss

 

Oh, and welcome to the Liber. :cuss

[Hemal]

The World Eaters may have been drawn to the battle, and assisted their fellow Astartes and then scavenged the remnants of the now-destroyed chapter - maybe only a few scouts and maybe the odd senior officer or two were left of this chapter? The World Eaters wouldn't identify themselves as such, and modern day marines know World Eaters as bunny-helmet wearing nutters in red armour, not uber-cool gladiators in white and blue armour..so it is feasible that this "mystery" force of Astartes may have policed a region of space for a while without Imperial authorities sending investigations - in fact they may have been so good at purging heretics and Xenos that the High lords though the region was a safe one and hence dictated that the locals didn't really warrant an Asdtartes chapter in their midst..

 

The Jackals may have been isolated in a jump-accicdent, or attacked perhaps by REAL Chaos marines in warpsapce, and were pulled out of warp in the region of the loyalist WE?

 

maybe there are NO surviving Jackals, and teh "WE" remnants use their armour and paraphanalia, as well as the geneseed, and submit the geneseed of the dead chapter for submissions to Terra, whilst maintaining a strict doctrine of only pure WE genetic legacy go into say the Assault company?

 

Its got to have more of a hook as the others have stated. It is netirely possible for an un-uniformed Astartes unit to operate for a long period of time, but the "accident" could have occurred maybe in M34, so only 4 thousand years of hiding, during very troubled times, and great turmoil in the Imperium...

[Grand Master Tyrak]

3 clans to start with, Eagle, Jackal, and Drake(or other scaled animal) each with the same main color, either dark brown or dark gray i havent decided, with a different color of trim. Ex. eagle clan will have white helmets with yellow facepieces, jackals have lots of furs, drakes may have blue or green scales etc.

Eagles, Jackals and male ducks....? :(

Scaly male ducks? They make them different where you're from, is all I can say.

 

Drake is the word for dragon in European lore. ;)

 

Yes, it can mean a duck, but I don't think that's what he meant. :)

[Captain Juan Juarez]

3 clans to start with, Eagle, Jackal, and Drake(or other scaled animal) each with the same main color, either dark brown or dark gray i havent decided, with a different color of trim. Ex. eagle clan will have white helmets with yellow facepieces, jackals have lots of furs, drakes may have blue or green scales etc.

Eagles, Jackals and male ducks....? <_<

Scaly male ducks? They make them different where you're from, is all I can say.

 

Drake is the word for dragon in European lore. ;)

 

Yes, it can mean a duck, but I don't think that's what he meant. ^_^

 

It's a very old word, but surely Ace should have seen it before... Firedrakes, anyone? :P

[Ace Debonair]

3 clans to start with, Eagle, Jackal, and Drake(or other scaled animal) each with the same main color, either dark brown or dark gray i havent decided, with a different color of trim. Ex. eagle clan will have white helmets with yellow facepieces, jackals have lots of furs, drakes may have blue or green scales etc.

Eagles, Jackals and male ducks....? :blush:

Scaly male ducks? They make them different where you're from, is all I can say.

 

Drake is the word for dragon in European lore. ;)

 

Yes, it can mean a duck, but I don't think that's what he meant. ^_^

 

It's a very old word, but surely Ace should have seen it before... Firedrakes, anyone? :P

 

They have the word fire stuck in front of them, though. Although fireducks would be a cool name too. :P

Stick with Drakes, by all means. I just heard of them as ducks first, so that was my first thougt on the subject.

[SonofTerra]

I do apologize for not making things totally clear as i had a long day at my summer practicum job.

 

Yes i did mean Drake as in Dragon, only because i feel the word dragon is used more than enough already. a fireduck would be pretty wicked though.

 

As for what i was getting at with the World Eaters. I was just picking one of the triators randomly so i didnt have to call them "the ex-traitor marines" all the time as that sounds quite bad IMO, so it was not meaning they were needing to be the world eaters in any way, just whatever traitor legion or loyal marines from a chapter turned renegade that are being represented (basically i havent decided on exactly who the original marines are)

 

And also, to do with the going into hiding. My thought is that the marines change their armor and go off to a fairly remote area of the galaxy that way if there was any knowledge of them still existing and a force being sent to investigate that they would have a chance of playing it off like they are a different chapter, unknown to the investigators.

 

So i think Hemal has hit what i was thinking right on the head. A surviving few marines from a traitor group, who police a remote area of the galaxy for quite awhile where not much attention is given. They play themselves off as a chapter of a different name ( for explanations sake lets say they went from WE's to calling themselves the space skunks ) They join a battle in their area where the Jackals are fighting some, lets say Dark eldar raiders, who have wiped out this new, small cursed founding chapter down to some remaining scout companies and a few other scattered marines. The "Space skunks" join the ranks of the jackals and gain all of the scavenged gene-seed, armor, weapons etc. of the Jackals as well as prominent positions like Chapter master etc. as the original jackal members were killed in action. The scouts dont know much about the chapter (b/c they are new to it of course) except that they have trouble keeping their numbers up (because of mutations in their geneseed).

 

The newly reformed Jackals then use all the geneseed and like Hemal said use their original geneseed for (my original idea was to use it for the most promising recruits or to be used on existing members in addition to the jackal seed when they reach a certain rank. if that is even possible)

 

Things i need to decide on:

Who the original marines come from? Traitor legion?, a leter renegade chapter? other?

Probably should have a name that the chapter uses as a guise before meeting the jackals.

Are there survivors? or was the entire chapter wiped out before the "skunks" found them? if so, how many and who?

Exactly how the jackals mutation affects them. Also who it is that nearly wiped them out (DE dont really fit in my opinion as they have too much of a stike then retreat into the webway type style of attack, not enough to decimate a marine force, even if undermanned to begin with.)

What the system they are occupying is, what are the planets like and the people. This will obviously tie into why the jackals have the Tribes or Clans as part of their chapter.

 

Things you guys hve already convinced me to do (more than likely):

Keep who the original jackal geneseed is from a secret. Its a good place to add a hint of mystery

 

Thanks for relying and giving insight so quickly, and keep bringing it, i dont mind you guys blasting holes in it, im a big boy and know its nothing personal.

[moi_a_mania]

I like your idea and all of the suggestions are right on.

 

Let's say your "traitor" group of marines are sent on some mission. Upon their return, they find that their chapter has either gone to the side of Chaos or were wiped out. Fearing that they are next, they go into hiding. They become all scooby doo and are looking for the reason their chapter was wiped out in the first place. They patrol that area of space (you will need to pick an area of space so that you can fill in which enemy is present there) where the "Jackals" are ambushed. They come to the rescue. Afterwards, they find a group of scouts and one or two Veteran Sergeant or there are no survivors. Your marines gladly "inherit" new armor, new weapons, new identity, new rank, etc. etc. They then use this to continue their investigation on why their original chapter was wiped out.

 

A twist would be that they weren't wiped out and went over to Chaos. Then they become brutal enemies against each other. Just a thought.

The cool thing about being in exile and/or hiding is that they could have obtained new and cooler versions of the Red Thirst, Curse of the Wulfen, or the Black Rage. The skies the limit, but just don't be too "cheesy" about it. How's about they can infiltrate like scouts? This would go along with their "hiding" aspect. Or They adorn themselves with different weapons and/or trophies from Xenos threats found in that area of space.

An enemy you may use that possess ancient and rare weapons is the Necron.

You may need to identify what types of equipment the "Jackals" like to use. Identify them as either a CC or Shooty type of army. Then when your "marines" take over their persona, you can emphasize on how they "evolved".

That may bring in the =I=, but they are alot of fun to use in your Index Astarte

..

Anyways, I hope this helps. Good luck.

[SonofTerra]

So i am trying to flush this background out more and have some further ideas:

 

For the geneseed mutation, This may get a little scientific. :D

 

The Jackal geneseed originated from a batch in the mechanicus's vaults that had a high occurance of mutation in the 327th amino acid codon sequence of a major region coding for the Biscopea implant of the marines. This specific sequence "CGG" codes for argenine, and mutates frequently at the first and last spot ( the C&G ). However, the most common mutation occurs in the latter, which as fate would have it keeps coding for argenine no matter which of the three remaining bases is used (a silent mutation). The second most common codon change is the first position going from C to A, which again keeps coding for argenine. Any other change of the C results in an increase in the hormone testosterone which leads to higher tendencies of anger to be expressed by the individual (missense mutation). The real problem with the geneseed occurs when both the C and latter G mutate into U & A respectively. This codes for a "stop" codon, a "nonsense" mutation which prevents the Biscopea from regulating itself and the other implants of the Marine. This change is nearly impossible to discover and can happen anytime, even after the implant has been put into the astartes or in a specimen that has been normal for many generations of space marine, which is likely how the mechanicus failed to discover its presence. The result of this mutation is that the marine will continue to grow and gain muscle mass as the Biscopea fails to turn off. The Biscopea also regulates other implants, such as the larramans organ which will now produce more larramans cells causing the marines wounds to heal even faster than normal. The problem with this is that the marine will outgrow his body and much like regular humans who grow too big will have a greatly reduced natural life expectancy.

 

Not wanting to be outdone by his fellow astartes the marines with this mutation tend to try to kill as many foes in one battle as their comrades will in an entire campaign or will take on the biggest opponent they can find in close combat so that their legend and feats will be as grand over the course of the roughly 200 years they will live as those who live out the full life of a battle brother.

 

Tell me what you think!

[Azekai]

Interesting, but why would the mutating battle brothers be spared a swift death? It is a cool idea, but unless yours is a fairly 'forgiving' chapter, they would probably be put down by their pious brethren.

 

That being said, mutie marines are not unprecedented, i.e, wulfen . . . althoug why those bestial things are kept around, I don't know. :D

[SonofTerra]

Well, the idea is that they are just larger, meaner marines. Even though they are augmented to be superhuman even marines can become to big for their body systems to be able to support. Why keep them around? simple, they are beasts on the battle field, even if only for a fraction of the time that a normal marine would survive. I do think though that maybe 200 years is too long for them, maybe 100...

 

I should also say that their mutation, and knowing they will die because of it, is what drives them to try to out do their brothers which leads to only a handful of these unlucky marines ever surviving to die naturally.

 

Now, i know what codex will be used has nothing to do with making fluff, but i really like the Lone wolves in the SW codex and use 2 of them. I want to model 2 as true scale marines to represent this. Also i feel the whole "im the only guy left from my pack" doesnt justify having FNP and eternal warrior, more wounds etc. To me this mutation seems to fit the mold and idea of the rules for them better.

 

as you pointed out yourself there is no shortage of chapters with mutations like this who use the affected individuals to their advantage, wulfen, black rage, (the black dragons i think... the chapter with the bone scythes from their forearms?) etc.

[Azekai]

Cool ideas, to be sure. I also use the SW codex to represent my Clan Cydonian Iron Hands.

'Counts-as' rocks.

 

Keep it up!

[SonofTerra]

Update: This is my general color scheme, a very dark grey OR dark brown base with different bright colors denoting which "clan" they are from (ie, an orangy red for the phoenix clan, blue for the drake clan etc.)

However for the grey, im not sure if charadon granite would be a good paint to use or not as i am unfamiliar with the citadel foundation paints. What color to use for hightlights over that if it is good to use? if its not, is there a suitable reaper or vallejo dark grey?

For the brown, i am at a total loss for what color to use *note i live in the middle of no where, so i cant just run to the store and grab a bottle of paint to try*

And for those interested, more fluff related stuff will be up next week after i get all my school work done

[SonofTerra]

Chapter sturcture and placement:

 

From his inception into the chapter a new Jackal is placed into one of the many clans of the chapter. The main clans are: The clan of the Great Eagle, The clan of the Phoenix, The Blue Drake clan and the clan of the Death Jackal with various minor clans as well. Recuits are placed into these clans following their final proving challenge. This challenge see the recruits set out of the gates of the chapters fortress monastery into the wilds of the planet to bring back the hide of the biggest creature they can kill. Stature amongst your clan is in part determined by your success in this challenge as the greater the beast you slay, the higher you gain rank within your clan. The recruits are placed into the clan corresponding to the beast they kill on their hunt. Thus felling one of *********'s Giant eagles would place you in the Eagle clan, a Drake into the Blue Drake Clan, etc. The only exceptions are that there are no Jackals, nor phoenix's on the planet, so when an aspiring jackal brings back a beast not represnted by a clan he is placed into the Clan of the Jackal, the clan with the largest amount of Astartes. Only full fledged astartes can be placed into the Phoenix clan. For this to happen the marine must narrowly survive battle, seemingly rising from the dead to smite the foes of the Emperor. Any astartes who shows this resiliency may be transferred to become a Phoenix, the most honored clan and defenders of the chapter.

 

One of the most famous stories in the history of the chapter involves a recruit named Gavriil. 3 weeks into his hunt he was closing in on a capcaun, a large humanoid creature, that surely would have provided him with enough honor to join the ranks of his brothers when he was attacked by a female Blue Drake. The Blue Drakes of ******* are the planets most dangerous predators (the females being 3 times larger than a male with a coat of scales that changes from icy to dark regal blue, while the males are a monotone dark blue). After being throw into the nearby river, Gavriil, armed with nothing more than a sword, then managed to slice open the great beasts belly and through its wing as she plunged in after him. The Drake, unable to fly stormed through the forests as Gavriil gave chase. Four weeks later, bloody and battered, Gavriil arrived back at the gates of the fortress, becoming the first and only man to return with the hide of a female Blue Drake. Impressed by the display, Shaman Illarion of the Blue Drake clan immediately placed Gavriil into his honor guard; a promotion of rank which Gavriil has earned over 10 fold since that day.

 

As always feel free to tear it apart so we can make it better B)