Blazing Angels - IA WiP

[Lord_Reven]

Well, wile i was writing the "real" first draft my laptop decided to die and delete all my work... and i am having some trouble getting motivated to write it all again. So ill post this, a rough draft of the basic ideas i had for my chapter.

Index Astartes Blazing Angels:

My marines are proud, even more so then usual. They take great pride in there home world, chapter colors (medals, rituals, ect.) and history.

Origins:

Created in the 20th founding to protect the Curdia system in the segmentum obscurus. Curdia was being attacked by Orcs, (dark) Eldar, and in one sub-sector a traitor, with the help of chaos marines, had taken over five planets.

Due to the critical situation here the chapter was sent only 10 years after its creation, far to soon for them to be equip with the proper amount of special weapons and tanks, not to mention they had little enough training. Since the need for haste was so great, within one month of getting formally formed they sent 100 marines to join the Death watch. 74 marines returned and they formed the core of the 1st company, along with 8 of the 10 captains, a good number of sergeants, and the chapter master himself: Zevryan Drake.

Zevryan was able to unite the Imperial forces and eventually clear Curdia of the mutant, the alien, and the heretic...

History:

First they set up a base of operations in a sub-sector that has remained relatively untouched by enemy forces. Then they go on to clearing out the Eldar, then the Orcs, then the traitors. (Once i get around to writing this thing properly i will add all the good fluffy.. stuff)





Home World:

Even though they were sent to protect all of the Curdia sector, they recruit almost exclusively from the three hive worlds of the sector they originally set up there base of operations. Most of the novices have grown up in the under hives, and have been taught to kill from the day they were able to hold a weapon. There are a few notable exeptions, and i will write more about these when i finish (again) the next draft.

Beliefs:

From very early in their history, the Blazing Angels adopted several blood rituals that have since evolved into a central part of the chapter.

Gene-seed:

Gene-seed donor unknown, but that the Blazing Angels are sons of Sanginius cannot be denied, for the chapter suffers from the same Flaw that plagues every one of his decedents.

Comat Doctrine:

The marines all seem to favor close combat over long range fire fights, but this could stem from there early history. When they were sent into combat with few heavy weapons and tanks, there first enemies were Eldar. Since the Eldar had superior fire power, the most effective way to drive them out was by closing with them in hand to hand combat. After the Eldar had been eradicated the chapter started had adopted Curdia as there home, and felt that the filthy presence of Orcs was a personal affront to them. This lead to the marines taking great satisfaction in watching the Orcs die up close. After the Orcs had been driven out, most of the chapter was skilled in close combat rather then ranged fights, and so when they passed there knowledge down to new recruits, it was mostly all on melee.

Battle-Cry:

"In war, Victory! In death, Sacrafise!"

A pic of the general marine. Chapter insignia will be a drop (either of blood or a tear) Falling into flames. This is to symbolize the sacrafise the few must make, to keep the many safe.

P.S. Hope you guys can bare with me, its just it took me a wile to finish my original IA, and having all my work deleted kinda hurt my morale.. a lot. So i figured i would release a (very, very) rough version of it, and feedback is wanted and greatly appreciated. :) So, any ideas on.. more or less anything is wanted, from the name to the color scheme to the type of gum they chew :)

[Codex Grey]

God Kveld!

 

Beliefs:

They believe in blood, and it is a central part of many of there rituals.

 

Gene-seed:

Unknown, but certain aspects of the chapter hint towards there gene seed coming from Sanginius.

First of all, sorry about the laptop, that's a real pain.

 

But although this is just a rough draft, I think you should have spent the most time on explaining their beliefs. They believe in blood? That's a very confusing statement. Elaborate.

 

And why is their gene-seed unknown? Is it really necessary? Does it add anything significant to the Chapter? Or is it just to add some cheap mystery?

And I hope those aspects that hint towards BA gene-seed, are the Black Rage and Red Thirst, which you just can't escape as a BA successor.

[Lord_Reven]

God Kveld!

 

Beliefs:

They believe in blood, and it is a central part of many of there rituals.

 

Gene-seed:

Unknown, but certain aspects of the chapter hint towards there gene seed coming from Sanginius.

First of all, sorry about the laptop, that's a real pain.

 

But although this is just a rough draft, I think you should have spent the most time on explaining their beliefs. They believe in blood? That's a very confusing statement. Elaborate.

 

And why is their gene-seed unknown? Is it really necessary? Does it add anything significant to the Chapter? Or is it just to add some cheap mystery?

And I hope those aspects that hint towards BA gene-seed, are the Black Rage and Red Thirst, which you just can't escape as a BA successor.

 

Heh, yeah some good points there. Ill start with the unknown gene-seed part. That was a accident on my part, as i meant the parent chapter (the chapter that donated the original gene-seed sample) was what was unknown. Also yes, the aspects are the Black Rage and Red Thirst.

 

And originally I had a big part explaining a lot of what i meant by "they believe in blood" (it got deleted though :D) . I just thought i would sum it up in a sentence, since i wanted to release my whole idea at the same time and not really go to deeply into it at the moment, but i can see what you mean about it being confusing. I will add something to make it more understandable until i re-release the whole thing.