Guardians

[Nickles 138 SUP]

OK, the Fathers of Orin were quit unbelievable. Now Instead lets try to focus on the main chapter in my theme, The Guardians of Brair. Now, you remember the intro to the Fathers of Orin and how they succeeded the Raven Guard with three other chapters? Well this is one of the others.

 

In the beginning…

 

Yes... An Imperator Titan is within my grasp. It was remarkable that we ever found it. If it wasn't for the sudden attack of Chaos we would never have found this place. This might be the biggest discovery this hunk of rock will ever encounter. An entire labyrinth under Imperial feet, filled to the brim with tanks, guns, factories, testing facilities, planes, experimental weaponry, and enough useful materials to conquer the Eye of Terror. Maybe not the Eye of Terror, but there is enough stuff here to put Cadia to shame. It was all under our feet, rooms and rooms of this and in the center lays a jewel beyond compare. Here lies an entire Titan Legion. In the middle of that legion is a metal beast beyond compare, an Imperator Titan. There is enough supplies to arm many Imperial regiments. We are about to open the last gate and wee will probably a greater prize than what we already have...

 

By the Emperor! The final room was a holding entire legions worth of Space Marine armor. Row on row of Ceremite armor. Terminator, scout, and power armor, all here. Rhinos, Predators, Land raiders, Whirlwinds, Vindicators, Thunder hawks, and Dreadnaughts, all prepared to be used for the Emperor. This is the biggest discovery this hunk of rock will ever see...

 

We have been sucked into a Warp storm. It came out of nowhere. We are all fighting for this little rock in space. We are the final line in the protection of Brair. This will probably the last time I will write in this book. Emperor, we will fight to the last man. We will stubbornly hold out lines and protect what belongs rightfully to the Emperor. We will die not as men, but as his living fury. We will use all the weapons you have given us to repel these enemies, and If I die before this ends, then my soul is yours to take.

 

Words from the journal of, Lord Cassius of the Caldeirian 22nd Corp

 

Lord Cassius was a great man, but died by the hands of bolter fire.

 

This Space Marine Chapter was once part of a Regiment. The Caldeirian 22nd Regiment, led by Lord Cassius. Now what made them so noticeable was the Battle for Brair. Briar was a simple ago planet before the discovery. Hidden underneath the entire planet were vast networks of foundries, bastions, and temples. One of the greatest of these ruins was Kazeeda Hold. It was an artificial island that was constructed to protect a foundry that built titans, tanks, and most importantly MK 1 pattern Space Marine armor. Knowing the importance of this find the Regiment fought untold horrors of the Warp for 300 years. When the Warp storm that had enveloped them receded, they were in 138997.M41 in the southern reaches of the Imperium. Now they had two foes. Tyranids and the Inquisition.

 

As a desperate attempt to stall the hive fleet Leviathan, the Inquisition had ordered the exterminatus of multiple worlds, including Brair. Assisting the local Inquisitor and his fleet, that were attacking Brair were parts of the 2nd and 4th companies of the Raven Guard. With war raging across Brair between Imperial forces and Brair, the Tyranids arrived. With all Raven Guard forces stuck on the ground and the Inquisitor fleet retreating, The Space Marines had no choice but to Side with the Caldeirialn 22nd Regiment.

 

The battle between man and beast was hard, but in the end man won. When the Inquisition returned with a greater fleet, they were astounded by the survival of the planet and its people. Realizing the strength and strategic importance of the planet, the Inquisition denounced exterminatus on multiple conditions.

 

#1 If any being with phykick potential from Brair is discovered, they must be shot on sight.

 

#2 The recruitment tithe shall be 15% of all born children of Brair.

 

#3 The Tech priests of Mars must now be in charge of all foundry installations, and all resources shall be shared with local Imperial forces.

 

#4 All Imperial forces created on Brair, must be led or watched by an Inquisitor.

 

After that, one thing led to another and 3 new chapters were made, Fathers of Orin, Imperial Swifts (Excommunicated Traitors), and of course Guardians. All three chapters went their separate ways, following different codes and practices.

 

The Guardian Chapter kept Brair as their home world.

[RagingGriffon]

OK, I am just going to work from bottom to top, because it is easier to read that way. Excuse me for being curt, I have a tight schedule today.

 

- If it is a homeworld of the Guardians, then it is not going to be under protection from the Raven Guard. The Guardians should be good enough to watch it themselves.

- It is psychic, not "phykick"

- I doubt all enemies of the Imperium are going to converge on a planet at once. If they did, it would destroy the planet. Do you know what 300 years of war would do? Can you comprehend the resources needed? It is immense. They would have raided that unbelievable cache of materiel, and it would be depleted.

- Just stop trying to make your planet l33t. Your planet is not going to put Cadia to shame.

- Honestly answer this question: have you read the stickied threads? Because you seem to ignore the standard format. You cannot deviate from the standard unless you show even the semblence of an understanding of what the standard is.

 

You need to seperate game play, from fluff. Just because your game group has someone that plays Necrons, and another person that plays Orks, and another that plays Chaos (praise be to the Ruinous Powers!) does not mean you need to include them ALL into your Chapter.

[Nickles 138 SUP]

sory I just pulled most of that from a wiki.

 

No, I did not read the standard compleatly, just skimmed. Thank you for the spelling corection, my grammer is poor at most.

 

# 5 shall be removed, also I shall remove orks. Necrons are only Imperial Guard live fire exersize. Chaos are the really big problem, and tyranids later. The story is the plannet is sucked into a Warp storm long enough for the planets populous to change. You know, more adapt to their surroundings.

 

Cadia has been holding off Black Crusade after Black Crusade for around 10,000 years, with only Imperial Guard Regements. They are the Osgiliath of the Warhammer 40k Universe. There is no way I could out fluff that.

 

300 years is longer than America has existed. But it is not even 1/100 of how long man has lived. The only reason any one, let alone a civilization, could survive on a deamon world for 300 years is if you got the resourses nessesary. This Plannet is not a normal plannet. I can produce titans, Mark I armor, Tanks, Guns, you name it. If catchicans can survive their world and hunt tyranids with only spears, then these guys can hide in grand bastions fighting Chaos for 300 years. That is why they are even considered to be a sucsesser planet of the Raven Guard.

 

Few more corrections are needed I know, but I'm trying to fix them.

[Bishoujo]

Clearly you don't lack creativity. You certainly like to dream big. Who knows, maybe you will be the next Michael Bay? You like it big and flashy and over the top. That is very popular in many forms of media. However, most people take a different approach for their DIY space marine chapters. They try to fit in. Blend in with the crowd that is the 40K universe.

 

Your ideas seem to want to stand out above everything else. While your ideas may be cool, and fun to use when you're hanging out with your friends playing "you know what would be cool?", I'd suggest you take a different approach.

 

I mean, for example, the STC patterns for the Land Raider and Land Speeder were two of the biggest discoveries the imperium of man has ever seen. Yet, your two DIY chapters have trumped that level of finding 100 fold. One chapter finds thousand of terminator suits, and the other finds a titan + tank + armor foundry.

 

I think you should slow down and try to see what you can come up with that actually fits within the 40K universe. Don't try to be so over the top and ridiculous with your ideas. It's easy to yell "hey! look! cool things!" but it's harder to develop legit fluff that fits in with the rest of the universe. That said, I bet you could do a darn good job of it if you just tried. You are definitely creative, and you seem to know a lot of your fluff too - especially with it comes to different planets, timeline, history, etc. I think you've got the tools to make a space marine chapter that seems so legit that someone on the outside wouldn't be able to tell that it wasn't made by GW. You just have to try and take a more realistic (relative to the fiction) approach to things.

 

I'm routing for ya! :P

[Tutteman]

300 years is longer than America has existed. But it is not even 1/100 of how long man has lived. The only reason any one, let alone a civilization, could survive on a deamon world for 300 years is if you got the resourses nessesary. This Plannet is not a normal plannet. I can produce titans, Mark I armor, Tanks, Guns, you name it.

 

I think what RagingGiffon is refering to is that fact that you still need raw materials, things like metals and oil, to be able to sustain a war effort. This planet would barely be habitable after 300 years of constant war on a 40K scale. Think of the damage done in Europe after the Second World War and then multiple massively due the extra 290 odd years/nasty sci fi weapons being used and apply to the whole planet.

 

This is the biggest discovery this hunk of rock will ever see...

 

No no no, this would be the greatest discovery for the entire Imperium in 10,000 years! It was considered the greatest technological advance for centuries when a group of scouts uncovered a STC design for a new type of combat knife...a new knife. That was it, a new type of sharp thing, and they were hailed as heroes for discovering it!

 

We are rooting for yah ;) Keep with it, it might hurt a bit but you will hopefully have a great chapter by the end of it. i assume you are going to the Imperial Swifts as well? :P

[Tutteman]

300 years is longer than America has existed. But it is not even 1/100 of how long man has lived. The only reason any one, let alone a civilization, could survive on a deamon world for 300 years is if you got the resourses nessesary. This Plannet is not a normal plannet. I can produce titans, Mark I armor, Tanks, Guns, you name it.

 

I think what RagingGiffon is refering to is that fact that you still need raw materials, things like metals and oil, to be able to sustain a war effort. This planet would barely be habitable after 300 years of constant war on a 40K scale. Think of the damage done in Europe after the Second World War and then multiple massively due the extra 290 odd years/nasty sci fi weapons being used and apply to the whole planet.

 

This is the biggest discovery this hunk of rock will ever see...

 

No no no, this would be the greatest discovery for the entire Imperium in 10,000 years! It was considered the greatest technological advance for centuries when a group of scouts uncovered a STC design for a new type of combat knife...a new knife. That was it, a new type of sharp thing, and they were hailed as heroes for discovering it!

 

We are rooting for yah ;) Keep with it, it might hurt a bit but you will hopefully have a great chapter by the end of it. i assume you are going to the Imperial Swifts as well? :P

[ChaplainMathreyn]

I can produce titans, Mark I armor, Tanks, Guns, you name it.

 

If that was the case, then I'm more then sure the Mechanicus would have it's machinery-infused hands on it... It certainly wouldn't be in the hands of 1,000 + super-human killing-machines... The least of which is because, Marines don't administrate... They... Killistrate (Hah!). Chapters might have Forges, or their individual Brothers may be adept enough to Artifice their own equipment (ala Salamanders), however.

 

deamon world for 300 years

 

Fair enough... So, what are the effects of the Warp mutation going to be?

 

Fighting Chaos is perfectly fine... As is being stuck in a warp storm. However, the Warp permeates, corrupts, and slowly twists and turns things in deformed/insane versions of... Well... Sane things...

 

Cadia has been holding off Black Crusade after Black Crusade for around 10,000 years, with only Imperial Guard Regements. They are the Osgiliath of the Warhammer 40k Universe. There is no way I could out fluff that.

 

Cadia, the Praeses (20 (I think?) Space Marine Chapters, founded specificly to surround the Eye of Terror), And a Battlefleet have... Sometimes Barely at that...

[Nickles 138 SUP]

Any ways, because of the Warp storm most of the Lairs facilities are ruined. After 300 years of corruption, daemons, and Warp rifting (sigh!), there isn't much left. :P The only working foundries left produces lasguns, bolter ammo and carapace armor for the local Guardsmen. The only reason why the planet is worth guarding, are the recruits and fortifications.

 

I mean the planet does run on magnetic energy from the planets polls, but that doesn’t help. Sadly enough, the engines that run of the energies are too fragile to open up and examine. The planets populous were forced to change in order to survive the forces of Chaos. Brair is a Death world with 7 major cities. The only things beyond those walls and fortifications are toxic fumes and man-eating wildlife.

 

So there isn’t much that Brair can offer to the Imperium, except fresh regiments of Imperial Guardsmen who see battlefields as reminders of home. I’ll tell more about Brair when I have my computer back, but for now I’ll tell about the Guardians.

[Nickles 138 SUP]

Recruitment

 

The chapter called The Guardians of Brair, excel at long range combat. They do not enjoy the thought of getting close to something that has been born or trained for millennia to kill things in close quarters. Don’t get me wrong they are good at urban warfare, just not the part where they have to kill the enemy with their helm, because they ran out of bullets.

 

They do not train in the field of air dropping, due to having no ships to drop from on briar. They dislike the teaching the technique of stealth, because on their world the monsters always know where you are. They do not have ANY Tactical Dreadnaught armor, because they never had or found any suits. They consider death and pain as mere friends. Every day on Brair some one close dies.

 

The recruits for the chapter are limitless. Every little boy on the planet wants to become one. It is considered a duty of every family to have at least one in you family line become a Space Marine. So to thin out a crowd of 100,000, each year they pool in all who want to join and through them out of Kazeeda Hold and tell them to stand there. Few cry, many get eaten, but the ones that stay and stand tall are recruited as neophytes.

 

There are probably around 10,000 left by now. And they must face even more terrifying challenges. You see, the Warp didn’t completely leave the planet, and many Phykers don’t give themselves into the authorities. These phykers form cults. These cults try to undermine the Imperial forces and its people into submission of the Chaos God Tzeentch. It is the Neophytes job to hunt down these cults and kill them. Many die by the heretic’s hands, many more by the beasts they release.

 

After that there are only around 800. They become the drivers and pilots of the chapter. Due to having no scout armor, the new marines must use enlarged carapace armor. After that they can become a Guardian.

 

Out of a 30 year process, and 100,000 boys, only 100 of them will become true Guardians. (This does not include the amount that die due to implants)

 

This is why I don't want to try to become a Space Marine :pinch:

[Tutteman]

Bold is me commenting.

 

Recruitment

 

The chapter called The Guardians of Brair, excel at long range combat. They do not enjoy the thought of getting close to something that has been born or trained for millennia to kill things in close quarters. Don’t get me wrong they are good at urban warfare, just not the part where they have to kill the enemy with their helm, because they ran out of bullets.

 

NOW WE KNOW! Thats the reason some marines go bare headed, they've just used their helmet to beat some poor xenos to death! :)

 

They do not train in the field of air dropping, due to having no ships to drop from on briar. They dislike the teaching the technique of stealth, because on their world the monsters always know where you are. They do not have ANY Tactical Dreadnaught armor, because they never had or found any suits. They consider death and pain as mere friends. Every day on Brair some one close dies.

 

Very nice tragic overtones, and nice reasoning for the lack of stealth.

 

The recruits for the chapter are limitless. Every little boy on the planet wants to become one. It is considered a duty of every family to have at least one in you family line become a Space Marine. So to thin out a crowd of 100,000, each year they pool in all who want to join and through them out of Kazeeda Hold and tell them to stand there. Few cry, many get eaten, but the ones that stay and stand tall are recruited as neophytes.

 

I presume many families fail in this "duty"? Fair enough, I can easily imagine every kid on the planet wanting to be one, lets face it, kids today grow up wanting to be [insert whatever "cool" show is on tv right now]

 

There are probably around 10,000 left by now. And they must face even more terrifying challenges. You see, the Warp didn’t completely leave the planet, and many Phykers don’t give themselves into the authorities. These phykers form cults. These cults try to undermine the Imperial forces and its people into submission of the Chaos God Tzeentch. It is the Neophytes job to hunt down these cults and kill them. Many die by the heretic’s hands, many more by the beasts they release.

 

So the strong presence of warpness leaves most psykers evil and depraved, one question. How many DO give themselves in, I mean you said all psykers get shot...how many are stupid/noble enough to hand themselves in? Or are they not told they will be shot?

 

After that there are only around 800. They become the drivers and pilots of the chapter. Due to having no scout armor, the new marines must use enlarged carapace armor. After that they can become a Guardian.

 

Out of a 30 year process, and 100,000 boys, only 100 of them will become true Guardians. (This does not include the amount that die due to implants)

 

This is why I don't want to try to become a Space Marine :P

 

This chapter is turning out much better :)

I approve of the destruction of most of the massive technological find stuff. Sounds very Imperium of Man like. We found fantastic thing that will help us loads...oh...we lost it. Whoops.

 

In short, keep it up :)

[Nickles 138 SUP]

Got my computer back! :)

 

This is what Brair looked like befor the storm.

 

The description of their planet

 

This planet Called Brair is the fourth planet in its Solar system. It is made up of multiple Islands that are used to grow crops for local hive worlds. It held no great Strategic importance, until the lair was found. It was a planet that knew that the enemies of the Imperium were every where, constantly attacked by the forces Chaos and the hordes Tyranids. Every time they descended, they were repelled. This planet also faced Necrons every twelve years. Every time the veil of darkness attempts to consume the land, the Imperial Guard of the Caldeirian 22nd Regiment would be a beacon of hope.

 

Planet landscape

 

It has seven large islands, and about 335 small islands. Its poles are thick ice caps that cover 38% of the planet surface, and the most of that is in the south. All of Brair's large islands are on its equator. They are surrounded by the other small islands. The capital is the center point on the map. North, south, east, west, they all intersect though the capital. The planet’s magnetic field is very interesting. The planet has six magnetic poles. The poles are equally positioned though out the planet. One is in the North Pole, another at the south, normal. The others are on the planet’s equator. One at the capital, two are directly on the planets two oldest cities, another at Kazeeda hold (or Brair's Layer)... The north and south poles of the planet are uninhabited by civilians. Directly on the north pole of the planet is the Adeptus Astronomica command. This place is restricted to all eyes. Its exact location is unknown, because the pole itself shifts randomly. The South Pole is more important. It is where a Necron threat appears every 12 years. The Pole is constantly guarded by 200,000 militia. The defenses they hold are 300 outposts, large batteries, 34 fortifications, and a grand bastion.

 

It was used by the Imperium as an agro planet. The majority of the planets population is on I-von, the third largest Island. It holds the majority of the large cities and almost all the Imperial planetary defense systems. All local islands to I-von are used to feed the populace in those cities and local guardsmen.

 

Only recently have the locals discovered that the cities and defenses are webbed with ancient tunnel networks, predating before the Age of Strife. Most of the planets farms are on Locos, the second largest island. Locos has very fertile ground, and it has no large cities of its own. The largest island, Cahn, is a wasteland. During and inquisitorial meet, they found that Cahn was too taint to be left unnoticed, and was filed for exturmanatus mark 2. This was the order to purge a section of the planet, specifically Chan. All other four large islands are of no importance, just farmland.

 

Kinda sad that the agro planet is now a death world.

[Nickles 138 SUP]

This is also what Astradom (the capital), and Kazeeda Hold used to be.

 

City Capitol, Astradom

 

Astradom, the capital, is position on an island that is at the center of a place called the eye. It is called the eye because there are no other Islands except for the capital for 300 Kilometers, hence making it look like an eye from space. The city’s palace itself was supposedly constructed by the Imperial Fists during the Great Crusade. The island has only one beach and it is heavily guarded. Holding the planets largest naval manufactorm on its beach, the waters are always patrolled. The entrance itself is guarded by multiple sub bases that are all well armed. Through that is risible water wall. This wall is to prevent small vessels or large predators from infiltrating the harbor. After that there is a final naval defence that surrounds the harbor. A giant wall that is stands over 100 meters over the water, with a built in defense system that could hold off any naval invasion. Through that, well, you finally reach the beach.

 

Once you go though the outer defenses of the island then you are up for a real treat. The Island's fortifications are complex, and brutal to any attacking foe. The greatest defense of Astradom, is its Great Void Shield. It uses the energy from Astradom's magnetic pole to create a high powered energy shield that will never lack power as long as the core still turns. The generator is under the cities palace, and the shield will force an enemy through a bottleneck with out any support from the outside. On the beach is the shipyard. All machines on the docks were made to fight just as well as constructing. It is all controlled by a supreme machine spirit that lives at the dock tower. After the dock there is are stairs, and a giant gate that is able to allow titans through. This is the city’s gate. Through them is the third level, the town. There are three class levels in the town. Level three holds all civil workers, farmers, and servitors. Level two is mainly high class and nobles. Level one is all militaristic. There are no civilian buildings, fortifications. All levels are guarded by high walls and void shields. The Palace itself is, well let's just say it’simpregnable. Astradom itself is impregnable.

Astradom holds the all the noble class but it does not always hold the planetary governor. He is expected elsewhere on Brair at the moment... Kazeeda Hold

 

Kazeeda Hold

 

The Kazeeda hold is a recently discovered bastion. It is second to only Astradon in defences. It is hidden behind a vast wall of forest, on a remote artificial island that holds nothing of interest. It has a tunnel network that covers the entire island. This network is called the Brair Lair. Kazeeda was named after the glorious battle between Inquisitor Rex and the Greater Daemon Kazeeda of Tzeech. The bastion has as shield system that is similar to that of Astradon, but the generator is also used for its five "Firestorm" cannons. Obviously this bastion is much different than many in the Imperium and is thought to be even older than the tunnel networks found in I-von, the third largest island. The entire perimeter is made up of earth and cerimite. This over grown defense is predicted to be over 3 kilometers high and has a slope of 25%. This natural wall is now armed with ancient titan cannons, advanced defensive system, and some replaced batteries. Inside of this ring are the Firestorm cannons that form a five pointed star.

The Firestorm cannons are 13 kilometers long and 500 meters in diameter. These cannons are connected to the magnetic generator. (The same kind of generator that is connected to the Shields at Astradom.) The cannons are guarded by a 6 kilometer high wall that are positioned on top of an artificial hill. The hills are covered by trenches and hidden pillboxes that can rise out of the ground at will. Behind the wall are multiple defensive batteries and support positions. If any xeno entered the star fort he would be under attack from all sides, hit by the front, flanked on the sides, and severed from behind. Though the fortifications of the star fort, would be the keep. The keep looked like a an upside-down chandelier, with it's light shooting out into space, being a beacon of Imperial light.

 

The keep itself looked as if it was not made for a siege or for warfare. It looks as if it were more like a shrine, a mysterious shrine that purified all Warp and Chaos powers.(Like Virals) It could make psykers powerless, or daemons vulnerable to normal weapons. In the center of the shrine is a Giant on a throne. He wears black armor, and has sat on it for millennia. The Giant is all of metal, no flesh, no pulse, but if you disturb the body then it rises and kills you. Under his boots, are words. The inscription says,

 

"I am Agammenon, devil of daemons, saint of angles. I kill, I fight, I serve the Imperial truth. Only in death does duty end. Even in death do I serve. All will fall as have I, but that is no exception to stop what is demanded of you. All who do not fully devote themselves to the my master of man shall falter in my presence."

 

He served and still serves the God Emperor. He is the guardian of lairs entrance. Only those who are fully devoted to the Emperor does he allow entrance.

 

Brair Lair

 

The Lair is vast. It has over 50 rooms, each large enough to fit Imperial destroyers. Each room serves a specific use. Some hold factories, others act as armories. In the centre of the Lair is a Titan Legion. The legion holds 50 scouts, 25 warriors, 9 battlelords, and one Imperator. Each one shows no scars, no sign of aging. It is as if they were constructed yesterday. In surrounding rooms are rows upon rows of armor. Baneblades, Leman Russes, Basilisk, Hellhounds, Vultures, Valkyries, Chimeras, and so on. The rooms beyond seem to be staging grounds and hold racks of carapace armor and weapons, beyond that are engineering and manufactorum’s. Most of these facilities produce armor, ammo, and transports, but each room has one special product. For example room 13 can produces Baneblades, room 37 produces titan parts, and room 45 (recently destroyed) produced combat bots. Most rooms beyond that are made for material transport by shuttle. These places also are where the Adeptus Mechanicus finishes construction of all vehicles. To prevent transport rooms from being found and infiltrated, all of the gates are hidden within the forest and have thick armored blast gates supported by shields.

 

Later on it was discovered that the lair and its rooms were connected by tunnel systems to other important places on the planet.

 

The final 3 rooms discovered in the lair, are the key sours why this planet is of such importance. The rooms are guarded by great gate. They are large enough to allow 1,000 men to enter side by side, and thick enough to withstand a titan's firepower. Behind these doors are hatches that lead hundreds of meters into the planets crust. They are the deepest and most guarded place of the lair. Within these colossal rooms, held dormant for great millennia, were entire legions worth of Adeptus Astardies vehicles and equipment. Land raiders, predators, rhinos, razorbacks, vindicators, whirlwinds, land speeders, thunderhawks, unused dreadnoughts, cerimite armor, bolters, flamers, stormbolters, powerfists, plasma guns, and so much more.

 

Chaos knew of this place, Chaos knows of this place. It is now the duty of the Caldeirian 22nd Regiment to protect this place, until all is cleansed, purified and is put to use for the Imperium. If this place ever fell into the hands of any foe of the Imperium... there is no telling on how much damage could be done.

[RagingGriffon]

I hate to say this, but are you going to do a Liber Astartes article, or are you going to write a Codex?

[Nickles 138 SUP]

I really have no idea... :)

 

Sorry that was too much. I just cut and paisteded (with corrections) of my old wiki. I'll try to stick to the Chapter and basics now.

 

I would like to know how to place pictures on the forum.

Can any one please tell me how?

[RagingGriffon]

Step 1: READ THIS!!!!11!!one!. Don't just look at it. Don't just glaze over the links. Seriously take time to read every single link. In there is a way to make your article look fancy with titles and pictures. NO ONE ELSE TELL HIM HOW DO POST PICTURES!! He needs to seriously read everything.

 

Step 2: Realize that you are trying to impress several thousand people with your article. Not your friends, not your parents or relatives. You are trying to impress strangers with your creative efforts. I am one of those people. I am not going to read a wall of text. You have not earned my attention to read about some bastion and how many bedrooms and bathrooms it has.

 

Step 3: A lot of the people here have been playing WH40k for a decade or more. I have just eclipsed the 15 year mark. You can't just roll into a saloon with your six-shooters blazing expecting people to respect you. You will get shot dead. You need to play within the confines of the Games Workshop, Black Library, and Forge World canon.

 

Step 4: Edit your posts. If you have poor grammar and spelling it shows that you do not care to edit. If you don't take the time to edit, why should we take the time to help you? We aren't here to validate your gaming club's cool ideas. We are here to help you create a Chapter that adds to the Wh40k universe. Not usurp it.

 

Step 5: Be patient.

 

That is all. Carry on.

[Nickles 138 SUP]

Sorry. :P

I've been playing for over 5 years now, and I gues the reason why I make up these Super Fluff armies is because I have only lost 13 games in my life.

 

I need an :) woopen right now.

[ChaplainMathreyn]

Some ideas, are alright... Battling Chaos. They are your traitorous brothers, so yeah, I could see how a Chapter of Space Marines would continually fight against them. Your planet is a bastion (You'll have to explain why) against a continual Warp Storm. Alright. Note that, however, it wuld be much easier to simply give up the planet as "Boned" and leave it to the Warp then continually try to live there, though... It's the Imperium of Man... You got a billion Other worlds you need ot worry about versus one that gets engulfed in Warp storms.

 

The Lair is vast. It has over 50 rooms, each large enough to fit Imperial destroyers. Each room serves a specific use. Some hold factories, others act as armories. In the centre of the Lair is a Titan Legion. The legion holds 50 scouts, 25 warriors, 9 battlelords, and one Imperator. Each one shows no scars, no sign of aging. It is as if they were constructed yesterday. In surrounding rooms are rows upon rows of armor. Baneblades, Leman Russes, Basilisk, Hellhounds, Vultures, Valkyries, Chimeras, and so on. The rooms beyond seem to be staging grounds and hold racks of carapace armor and weapons, beyond that are engineering and manufactorum’s. Most of these facilities produce armor, ammo, and transports, but each room has one special product. For example room 13 can produces Baneblades, room 37 produces titan parts, and room 45 (recently destroyed) produced combat bots. Most rooms beyond that are made for material transport by shuttle. These places also are where the Adeptus Mechanicus finishes construction of all vehicles. To prevent transport rooms from being found and infiltrated, all of the gates are hidden within the forest and have thick armored blast gates supported by shields.

 

Later on it was discovered that the lair and its rooms were connected by tunnel systems to other important places on the planet.

 

The final 3 rooms discovered in the lair, are the key sours why this planet is of such importance. The rooms are guarded by great gate. They are large enough to allow 1,000 men to enter side by side, and thick enough to withstand a titan's firepower. Behind these doors are hatches that lead hundreds of meters into the planets crust. They are the deepest and most guarded place of the lair. Within these colossal rooms, held dormant for great millennia, were entire legions worth of Adeptus Astardies vehicles and equipment. Land raiders, predators, rhinos, razorbacks, vindicators, whirlwinds, land speeders, thunderhawks, unused dreadnoughts, cerimite armor, bolters, flamers, stormbolters, powerfists, plasma guns, and so much more.

 

No. This is, at worst, atrociously impossible, and at best, highly improbable. Titans, and even the super heavy tanks of the Imperial Guard, cannot be mass-produced; The ability to do so is gone. Kaput. Bye-bye. Hell, I don't even think anyone can even Make larger Titans anymore... The Imperium does not Make... The Imperium is in decay. It Restores. It cannot Make. When your Chapter recieves stuff, it isn't new. It is old, sometimes very old, it is worn, and it has been tested. Discoveries are non-existant.

 

The Adeptus Mechanicus handles Everything to do with heavy manufacturing, etc. At Best, it is a Forge World, completely out of your hands, and the Mechanicus has asked your Chapter to help defend the world (When their masses of robot-soldier servitors, and other crazy weapons of destruction cannot do the job). They are going to want to to leave, to shoo. They have crazy Mechano stuff to do, you have enemies ot kill. They don't trust you, and you, pretty rightly, shouldn't trust them.

 

No, you don't need being beaten in a game... You need to read other's Chapters (There are some amazing ones), and find Character... All you have is Stuff... And frankly, Stuff, isn't very interesting... A Chapter's Character, Is though. Find an ancient civilization to add, maybe there are some religious/societal beliefs or practices. Whatever. Maybe they're the "Do-Gooders" trying to do the right thing in the grim darkness of the 4st Millenium... Maybe they eat babies. I dunno...

 

"I have a Million marbles", isn't very interesting.... "I got these million marbles because of a stick of gum, a Donkey, and a man named Jose while I was in Cancun..." That is Much more interesting...

[Nickles 138 SUP]

All of this stuff about the Capital and Kazzeda Hold was befor the warp storm.

 

It also was befor the three chapters suseeded.

 

I just wanted to show what made the planet wo important to defend for 300 years durring the Warp storm and against Exturminatus.

 

Now only the amo and armor productions work. Oh well, it's Their rock, and they are willing to die for it.

[Tutteman]

Okay, we've seen you have no end of imagination, but turn this to the character and interesting stuff. Imagine it like this, if you buy a biography of person X you do not want a list of what they did, their qualifications, what cars they owned and exactly how each car was scratched. Instead you want to know about this person, what were/are they like, also, WHY were they like this.

 

There were some great bits in the recruitment section. Telling us how Recruits are weeded out by using them to hunt psykers, and how it is tragic that this vibrant argo world became a death world. Give us an interesting biography of the chapter, rather than a list of their resources. We've seen you can do it, now apply to the whole article.

[Nickles 138 SUP]

This bit has been deleated by the Keeper of Secrets.

 

There will be no more foolishness of this sort.

[ChaplainMathreyn]

Are you joking?... :)

[moi_a_mania]

:unsure: If you are not joking then this thread should stop. You are actually trying to create a new race into 40K.

 

Well, first, no other chapter is going to let your "chapters" survive.

 

Neither will the Inquisition since you mentioned that one of theirs died destroying what would be characterized as a Daemon.

 

Heed the comments the others have stated to you. Read the Do's and Dont's of a DIY Chapter. There are alot of good chapters out there. If you go to Philip S's page, he and Brazzo are collecting the 1000 Space Marine Chapters into one place. There are alot of cool chapters there that can help you "structure" your DIY Chapter into a more sensible and believable entity. Right now, it's neither sensible nor believable.

 

Good luck to you.

[RagingGriffon]

Where is a blue faced dwarf with orange hair when you need one? I am done with this guy...

[Nickles 138 SUP]

That was not me! My chapters are devoted to the Imperium.

 

I have no idea how that got there. (Note to self, kill brother and remover forum from computer.)

 

My chapters are not heretics and while who ever wrote that, (DAVID!!!!) I was trying to read through what RagingGriffon told me to read. :wacko:

I passed out 30 miniuts in.

 

Damn it!! David is the one who stole my computer.

 

If anything that stupid comes up, I'm making a GOD DAMN NEW FORUM!!!

 

:cuss :) :cuss :RTBBB: :cuss