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guardians of valhalla IA


shan vener

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hey guys trying to make my own chapter and wanted a bit of fluff to go with it. here's what i have so far.

here's the color scheme

spacemarine.jpg

and the fluffy bits

name: the guardians of valhalla

excel at: hand to hand combat (sword)/swordsmanship

planet name: valhalla (not the ice planet, a different one in segmentum pacificus)

battle cry: mamento mori (remember the dead)

favored weapons: sword and shield

disliked weapons: powerfists, thunder hammers, etc

fight for: honor (both personal and for the dead)

defects: unnaturaly high battle rage

uniquities:

mutations: jet black skin, blazing red eyes (rumored that the helmet lenses are actually perfectly clear)

~ streangth: 1,000-1,100

parent chapter: salamanders

founding: 3rd

how do they fight: hand to hand is prefered

why do they fight like this: it is the most honorable way of fighting

battle history: 2nd armegeddon (can't think of any others)

how is the chapter organized: companies (normal), chapter command (1 high lord, 5 other chapter masters, serve as advisors to the high lord)

belief system: honor and expirience are greater than your kill count

why do they believe this: a warrior with no honor is only a murderer. space marines are warriors

burial: cremation, ashes dumped in the black river (will be explaned in the actual IA)

strong relations: salamanders, mechanicus

what do you guys think.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Honestly, everything is so bland and general, there isn't anything to comment On... There's no content to actually critique...

 

For example,

 

fight for: honor (both personal and for the dead)

 

Wow... Yours and... Basically, ALL 999 Other Chapters,... Surprisingly enough...

 

jet black skin, blazing red eyes

 

Indeed... That is only because of the nature of Nocturne... Although, it's a pretty good bet that the Sallies have a pretty mutable geneseed nonetheless.

 

2nd armegeddon

 

DIYs don't fight in canon battles, unfortunately enough... Otherwise, we'd have heard of them during the well documented battle...

 

But other than that... Yeah... It's Really, Really general... Like, there's not, well, anything I can spot that makes me go "Wow, these guys are interesting. I'd like to read up more on them.".

jet black skin, blazing red eyes

 

Indeed... That is only because of the nature of Nocturne... Although, it's a pretty good bet that the Sallies have a pretty mutable geneseed nonetheless.

 

2nd armegeddon

 

DIYs don't fight in canon battles, unfortunately enough... Otherwise, we'd have heard of them during the well documented battle...

To your first well techinically second remark how is it highly mutable? what is there besides the skin and eyes, and thats from the radiation of the planet reacting with there gene-seed

 

And its not that they cant its just they shouldnt.. but when there are hundreds of chapters what to say his couldnt have been there?

To your first well techinically second remark how is it highly mutable? what is there besides the skin and eyes, and thats from the radiation of the planet reacting with there gene-seed

 

As in, if a Chapter, say was on an ice world, for example, then with Salamanders geneseed, there would seem to be a higher chance that mutation would happen... Maybe, ice blue eyes, or pale, white and cold skin, or something of that nature... A Chapter on a swamp world may begin exhibiting "swampy" features, etc.

 

but when there are hundreds of chapters what to say his couldnt have been there?

 

You're right, there Is nothing holding him back... Heck, they could've stopped the 2nd War of Armageddon by Themselves, for all it matters. Generally, DIYs are pretty low-key... Otherwise, why aren't they mentioned? Plus, nobody cares about the 2nd battle of Armageddon; A history of glorious battles is an excuse for you to create your Own gruesome combat, to highlight your Chapter's valiant victories, and devastating defeats... If you just latch them onto a canon fight, what does that do?... Eh. Makes things abit lackluster, if you ask me.

To your first well techinically second remark how is it highly mutable? what is there besides the skin and eyes, and thats from the radiation of the planet reacting with there gene-seed

 

As in, if a Chapter, say was on an ice world, for example, then with Salamanders geneseed, there would seem to be a higher chance that mutation would happen... Maybe, ice blue eyes, or pale, white and cold skin, or something of that nature... A Chapter on a swamp world may begin exhibiting "swampy" features, etc.

 

but when there are hundreds of chapters what to say his couldnt have been there?

 

You're right, there Is nothing holding him back... Heck, they could've stopped the 2nd War of Armageddon by Themselves, for all it matters. Generally, DIYs are pretty low-key... Otherwise, why aren't they mentioned? Plus, nobody cares about the 2nd battle of Armageddon; A history of glorious battles is an excuse for you to create your Own gruesome combat, to highlight your Chapter's valiant victories, and devastating defeats... If you just latch them onto a canon fight, what does that do?... Eh. Makes things abit lackluster, if you ask me.

 

Where did you get this? I have heard no where of this it is assumed that all geneseeds are stable and everything is in place unless otherwise noted. So unless the planets radiation cuased this im prettz sure thez would lokk the same as they did before getting the geneseed except theyd be much bigger now.

 

True but he can still include it just add more battles of your own

Where did you get this? I have heard no where of this it is assumed that all geneseeds are stable and everything is in place unless otherwise noted. So unless the planets radiation cuased this im prettz sure thez would lokk the same as they did before getting the geneseed except theyd be much bigger now.

 

True but he can still include it just add more battles of your own

 

I think what he is saying is that, if the Salamanders gene-seed is susceptible to radiation based corruption on Nocturne; any planet with odd/extra Radiation, when coupled with Salamander Gene-seed, could have a similar effect. Instead of black skin, red eyes; a different radiation type might give them pale white skin, and blue eyes. Which one could then say is an icy planet, and BAM! The Ice-manders come to be :D But yes, this discussion aside, need more info/backround on the chapter to differentiate them from others.

Where did you get this? I have heard no where of this it is assumed that all geneseeds are stable and everything is in place unless otherwise noted. So unless the planets radiation cuased this im prettz sure thez would lokk the same as they did before getting the geneseed except theyd be much bigger now.

 

True but he can still include it just add more battles of your own

 

I think what he is saying is that, if the Salamanders gene-seed is susceptible to radiation based corruption on Nocturne; any planet with odd/extra Radiation, when coupled with Salamander Gene-seed, could have a similar effect. Instead of black skin, red eyes; a different radiation type might give them pale white skin, and blue eyes. Which one could then say is an icy planet, and BAM! The Ice-manders come to be :( But yes, this discussion aside, need more info/backround on the chapter to differentiate them from others.

That would make sense but from current fluff theres really no "official" salamanders later foundings so we cant say that.. though the Black Dragons And Storm Giants and niether officially have shown this. With the Storm Giants not really showing any genetic flaws and the Black Dragons having giant talons growing out of their forearms

Where did you get this? I have heard no where of this it is assumed that all geneseeds are stable and everything is in place unless otherwise noted. So unless the planets radiation cuased this im prettz sure thez would lokk the same as they did before getting the geneseed except theyd be much bigger now.

 

True but he can still include it just add more battles of your own

 

I think what he is saying is that, if the Salamanders gene-seed is susceptible to radiation based corruption on Nocturne; any planet with odd/extra Radiation, when coupled with Salamander Gene-seed, could have a similar effect. Instead of black skin, red eyes; a different radiation type might give them pale white skin, and blue eyes. Which one could then say is an icy planet, and BAM! The Ice-manders come to be :( But yes, this discussion aside, need more info/backround on the chapter to differentiate them from others.

That would make sense but from current fluff theres really no "official" salamanders later foundings so we cant say that.. though the Black Dragons And Storm Giants and niether officially have shown this. With the Storm Giants not really showing any genetic flaws and the Black Dragons having giant talons growing out of their forearms

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