cheeseychaoslord Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Chapter 1: Blood for the Blood God Harlen charged into the World Eaters, determined to avenge his pack mates. With a spine shivering roar he sawed a beserkers head off and booted the body away.The remaining beserkers retaliated, chain-axes roaring. Harlen dodged one swing,then another but the last one smacked his helmet and sent him sprawling across the ground. "Had enough yet loyalist scum?" taunted the Blood Champion spiting on Harlen's armour. "No," Harlen replied and made a giant swing with his chainsword, tripping the beserker up. Picking himself up, Harlen raised his bolt pistol and fired into the Champions head, showering himself in blood. "Forget someone puppy dog?" asked the last beserker, firing upon Harlen with the fury of a thousand men. As the bullts went rocketing off him, Harlen replied "No, but you forgot something," The grenade Harlen dropped when he fell exploded sending the beserker flying into a barricade, most of the body in chunks across the ground. Harlen walked past the body. As He passed, the blood gave him a dark thought went through his head. Weeks he had been alone, no com-link signal, no anything. It was if the Imperium had abandonned him. Harlen had had enough of it, and now he intended to end it, one way or the other. Raising his head to the skys, Harlen cried "Blood God for The Blood God!!! Skulls for the Skull Throne!!" Khrone watched his new champion leap into the night, to find others to join his cause, for the Imperium was going to regret letting the Space Wolves thrive on Fenris, he would make sure of it. The Gods of Chaos were beginning to select champions for the coming storm..... This was my first attempt at writing a warhammer 40k story and I hope you like it. CCL. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/204819-rise-of-the-gods/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sons of Horus Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Are they on Fenris? You make the fighting too easy for the Wolf. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/204819-rise-of-the-gods/#findComment-2443384 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 His changing into a traitor is a little rushed. It should be an ordeal. like he begins to think treacherous thoughts, then whispers appear, then he gives in. To me, it seems like knocking someone's ale from their hand because you're, 'anti-alcohol', and then ordering a WKD for yourself. It's a bit silly. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/204819-rise-of-the-gods/#findComment-2443531 Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheeseychaoslord Posted June 24, 2010 Author Share Posted June 24, 2010 Thanks for the replies. I know what you mean skirax, saying chaos scum then going renegade yourself. Well, I will edit it and then re think most of it. They are on fenris, Im wasn't going to mention it yet Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/204819-rise-of-the-gods/#findComment-2444405 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.