Disciples of the Jackal

[SonofTerra]

So I got stuck with my last idea on a couple of points that I couldn’t make work, so its time to start from scratch (almost) So before I go about with the new ideas I’ll state what I want to keep from my previous effort..

 

The Name: Disciples of the Jackal. However, i could be persuaded to change it.

The Theme: Clan based. Each clan being represented by an animal with specific attribute. (bolded names are ones i am using for sure)

 

The Jackal Clan. These are scavengers, the new recruits. Trained by finishing off the enemy or by hunting down those who run from the fight.

2 Clans represented by fast attacking animals like eagles, or any birds of prey, really anything that comes out of nowhere and hits its prey hard.

2 Clans represented by stalking animals like tigers or lions, or dragons. They hunt down their prey then strike when the time is right

2 Clans represented by resilient or "defender" type animals like a phoenix (when they die they rise back up) bears, etc. These guys defend objectives or important places

1 Clan represented by a really sneaky animal, these would be the scouts. Scouts are NOT the new guys in this army.

 

So the first issues are what should the clans be called/what other animals to use?

 

The chapter is highly ritualistic, and is descended from the white scars (i think it fits best)

 

For the "character" of this clan, it is best seen with the decription/story of arguably the most important person in the chapter.

 

The Nighthawk is a role that is passed down upon death of the previous holder to the person chosen as his succesor by the chapter master. The Nighthawk was originally one of the head Shaman of the Jackals, who while meditiating after a battle fell unconcious. Upon being awoken the Nighthawk sought out the Chapter Master and after a long discussion the whole chapter made haste for the segmentum pacifica. He explained of a vision of great weapon, forged along time ago before the Emperor sat on his golden throne, and of the ruins he would find it in. Here, in a remote system, the Nighthawk found the first of the relics, pre-heresy artefacts of considerable power. When the Nighthawk touched the blade he fell once more, this time when he awoke he spoke of a nearby system where the Jackals would make their home. What the Nighthawk revealed to the Chapter Master was that he had been given a prophesy by their primarch himself. 20 names of marines for 20 artefacts. Each man's destiny is to find an artefact, whether sword or sheild or bolter the Nighthawk did not know. The vision made it clear however that the Nighthawk was to not tell anyone who these men were to be, that trying to force fate by giving the names to the wrong people would lead them to fail in their mission.

 

When the Jackals descended upon (need a home planet name) they discovered a feudal human world. The landscape showed signs of previous technological advances but also of savage war. Within days the reason was clear, a small Dark Eldar raiding party emerged from a webway gate and started to raid the area, not knowing that a full 800 marines were there. The battle was quick, and the foul xenos destroyed to the last man. The Nighthawk however had another vision on this day, or so it is believed anyways, as he nor his successors have spoken another word since.

 

The ritual of the Nighthawk preserves these visions. The newly appointed Nighthawk drinks out of the Cup of the Fates, a goblet containing some blood from the previous Nighthawk. He then falls unconcious, sometimes for a day, sometimes for weeks, before he awakens with a new sense of purpose and understanding. He then replaces this bloos with that of his own, this way only one man will ever know who is destined to locate these prizes, and also whatever it is that was seen in the final vision. To this day 7 artefacts have been discovered, they are (need to sort these out).

 

Other important duties of the nighthawk: The ritual of choosing. In cases where a high position needs to be filled (chapter master dies, a new clan must be formed) the Nighthawk chooses the 2 most qualified marines. These men will go into the next battle not leading a squad, not even part of a squad, but alone with one goal; to come out of the fight with the proof that he is the next (insert position here). To win the ritual you must either be the only one to survive, or if both have survived, been more impressive in the eyes of the Nighthawk. This means bringing back the leaders head/biggest monsters head/ felling a huge amount of enemies etc.

 

Ok! Well that is quite abit for one post i think so let me know what you gys think. Does it have potential? Any major flaws, little things that bug you?

 

As always feel free to rip it apart if you think its awful

 

-SoT

[Ferrata]

Welcome to the lovely halls of Liber Astartes, where dreams are made and spirits broken (or dreams are broken and spirits made depending on the day). Hope you enjoy the stay, ignore the blood splatters on the wall, that was just from our last victi...poster :D

 

The chapter linked to an animal idea is an interesting one, it has been done before (I say "done" because I've seen it mentioned a lot but rarely a finished article). It is difficult to get into a chapter and get it working well. You need to look at the following areas:

 

How did it come about? All chapters are created codex, and then drift away through training or situations. The White Scars may be slightly off-codex, but they are still a codex chapter. I would suggest looking at some Native American cultures that were animalisitc in their worship (I think :P)

 

How are people selected for each clan? Is it a birth right or does it depend on you? I would suggest the latter otherwise you get bears being wolves.

 

How do they work together? Missions generally don't need one kind of force, so I would suggest they bundle together under one animal, then squads are drawn from the different clans to work together. So, for example, a defence mission might have two squads of Bears, but a squad of Jackals (for training), a squad of Dragons for support.

 

The name is a little off. Jackals seems to be their lowest rank, the clan you are in before you move to a different clan, so why is the chapter named after them? Personally, I would call them something a little more generic, like Disciples of the Claw.

 

As for structure, I would have the following clans:

 

The Dragon Clan - Leadership/Non-Mainstream combatants (Techmarines, Apothecaries, etc) due to the noble idea behind Dragons

The Bear Clan - Devastators/Tanks

The Eagle Clan - Assault Marines/Land Speeders

The Wolf Clan - Scouts (veterans)

The Human Clan - Newbies, before they dedicate themselves to an animal.

 

Hope this sparks of some ideas :D

[SonofTerra]

Ferratta - Much of your thinking is along the lines of mine, i just didnt want to put too much stuff into one single post as a wall of text usually just leads to no replies

 

For assignment to clans this is where my basic plan is at

 

Memebers start of in the Jackal clan (however i do agree, if the name of the chapter is this it is not well suited to the newbies) and are used at the end of battles to sort of clean things up, like a scavenger animal would. They are led by more senior members of each of the other clans so they get experience in each of their specialties. From here the "wolf priest" or "chaplain" type marines will watch them to see what type of warfare they are best at. If they prove to be adept at full on assaults, they get put into the Eagles. If they are better at holding their ground or defensive postions, they get put into the Phoenix (i have what i think is a good paint scheme for these guys so i want this name to stick). Those who are sneaky would be put into the Wolves (or other sneaky animal) etc. I would like to use Drakes (dragons) as a regular clan in the chapter, but i agree that i want a clan for the specialist type people, the techmarines/chaplains/librarians or equivalents. but at the same time feel that these marines would have already proven themselves enough to be part of the chapters honor guard type group. I think this "elite" group would be more fitting of the "Jackal" clan.

 

So what i reaally need for clan names is something for the new guys. A term for something young could be nice IMO, like cubs or pups. Something that says "yes i may be new and young but i'll grow into something big and mean"

 

Each clan will have tactical squads. I was thinking that each clan would have most of the options that are available as pretty much everything in SM codex's can be used both offensively and defensively. Example could be that land speeders can be deep struck to take out tanks w/ multi-meltas ( would be favored by the eagles) of sit back with typhoon missile launchers and blast from afar (favored by the Phoenix). However, i believe a mid-point between my thought and yours could work quite well. Each clan would have everything BUT, as per your recommendations the amounts in each would be highly skewed towards those.

 

Another idea (for modelling anyways) would be to have a mix of clans in appropriate vehicles. So a newbie riding alongside an Eagle in the Landspeeder. The new guy learns about the tactics/use of a landspeeder while gunning down enemies from the passenger seat.

 

As said most missions would not only call for one clan. The Phoenix clan may be used to defend supply lines or key choke points while the Eagles make quick devastating attacks on the enemies suplies. The Drakes (dragons) would be keeping a constant pressure on the front lines, the new guys would be placed with/around each of the other squads. The sneaky scout type clan would be blowing up landing pads/generator etc.

 

On the point of how did they deviate from being codex. This i need alot of input and ideas for. My best idea so far is to change the nighthawk stroy slightly so that the are codex before they find their new homeworld (need a name for it as well). They then start t slowly deviate from codex due to choosing their members from the feudal clans of this world. Each "company" was tasked with memorizing certain things in the codex astartes which is why they all have different favored tactics.

 

Thanks for the input :D and please keep it coming, i really want to get a whole IA done and would like to know what things are working and what need alot done

[Ferrata]

I'm not a big fan of specialised companies that don't interact - it doesn't work overly well in a logical sense. If you have the wrong clan in the wrong place, they might put up a decent fight but they are going to take more losses. I will suggest (for the last time, and if you decide against it I won't comment on this subject* again), that each clan be made up of specialist (like reserve companie) and for each mission, a different number of squads are drawn from the different clans to make up the perfect battle group. This means that the chapter will react in the best possible way.

 

I think the move away from the codex needs to be slow and natural. It might begin with an animalistic belief system, that they begin to revere the attributes of different animals. Each marine goes into some kind of trance and finds their inner animal. Slowly, marines form brotherhoods based on similar animals, the birds of prey get together, the big cats etc. Eventually this leads into a distinction outside of the Battle Company, you are no longer a brother of the 3rd but an Eagle Brother. Some fanatical commander gets in charge, and this change is formalised.

 

*Sorry, realised how that could sound. I mean I will comment on the chapter but not keep bringing up this point :wallbash:

[Jacobius]

So what i reaally need for clan names is something for the new guys. A term for something young could be nice IMO, like cubs or pups. Something that says "yes i may be new and young but i'll grow into something big and mean"

 

How about something small but mean?

 

Wolverine and Mongoose are the two that come to mind. Stoat, Polecat or Weasel might also be good. Lynx or Bobcat being smallish cats? Ratel is a good one but the name doesn't have the best ring to it.

 

You could call them Quolls but maybe nobody would know what that is?

 

-J-

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

I wouldn't go with Mongoose. It seriously doesn't conjure up the right image. Not a warrior's animal despite it's role.

[SonofTerra]

I'm not a big fan of specialised companies that don't interact - it doesn't work overly well in a logical sense. If you have the wrong clan in the wrong place, they might put up a decent fight but they are going to take more losses. I will suggest (for the last time, and if you decide against it I won't comment on this subject* again), that each clan be made up of specialist (like reserve companie) and for each mission, a different number of squads are drawn from the different clans to make up the perfect battle group. This means that the chapter will react in the best possible way.

 

I think (no offense) that you may have misread my post, or maybe i am missing your point.... I 100% agree that each battle or mission would be made up of group from all of the clans, that way each of their "specialties" could be used to full advantage. What i meant in the previous post was that i dont want to pigeon hole each clan into only having certain squad types because i think most marine vehicles/squads have the capacity to be used both offensively and defensively. But also that things like long fangs/devastators would be found in larger amounts in the Defensive clan, while speeders would be alot more common in the offensive one. I hope that clears it up :)

 

I think the move away from the codex needs to be slow and natural. It might begin with an animalistic belief system, that they begin to revere the attributes of different animals. Each marine goes into some kind of trance and finds their inner animal. Slowly, marines form brotherhoods based on similar animals, the birds of prey get together, the big cats etc. Eventually this leads into a distinction outside of the Battle Company, you are no longer a brother of the 3rd but an Eagle Brother. Some fanatical commander gets in charge, and this change is formalised.

 

I really like this as well. A slow move is definately needed. Perhaps to further that idea it could be that obviously when the chapter was made the marines were not from this world, and as the chapter started to recruit from the world (which definately needs a name now) their beleifs started to creep into the chapter. The change to non-codex being formally changed when the first chapter master came into power who was from this home planet.

 

my concern is that with marines being indoctrinated and basically brainwashed that it would be hard to keep these beliefs. One idea (please rip this apart if it is bad) is from reading the DIY guide actually, so i dont know if anyone has gone through with it yet. That the planet worships a pantheon of gods. All of these gods are viewed as sometimes animal sometimes man, and it is thought by the chaplains that these animals represent the 9 loyal primarchs plus the Emperor due to their characteristics

 

That way each clans specialties might tie into the different chapters: ie, Wolf clan being space wolves (duh), maybe dragons being a less awesome salamanders with their fire love, etc. The only thing would be coming up with a suitable animal that represents each primarch. Could have the Emperor as the Jackal, the leader or father of the rest of the gods. Could be explained by either a name change coinciding with the non-codex switch, or even a pre-planned name by the high lords thinking that the name would allow the populace of the planet to instantly accept the chapter.

 

Mongoose... i agre doesnt havete right feel too it. Wolverines however sound pretty good. I dont know about you guys but when i picture a wolverine i picture a little animal that just goes berserk and doesnt have alot of control, kind of like how i picture a new space marine recruit.

 

Jacobius: you were right.. i have no idea what a quoll is. time todo some googling :P

[Ferrata]

my concern is that with marines being indoctrinated and basically brainwashed that it would be hard to keep these beliefs.

That isn't totally true; it depends on the chapter. My Wings of Death have to completely brainwash their recruits otherwise they would self-destruct and kill one another, whilst other chapters allow their recruits to keep most of their past memories. These fade over time, like you can't remember what you did on the 17th June 2001, but I'm sure you could on the 18th June 2001 :P Imagine that but 100 years ago, before war and constant training.

 

The pantheon of the Nine Primarchs has been done before, and it gets a little confusing and the question is why? Why have they moved away from respecting their own primarch above all others? It can work, but it might be a little too confusing. It would be simplier to have the clans use different animals to represent them. The clans of Goomba (I have now christened your home world) each dedicate themselves to a different animal. These animal ways find there way into the chapter.

[SonofTerra]

Wow.... i could have sworn that i replied to this yesterday....

 

Anyways, Goomba! that is both hilarious and awesome at the same. What would someone from the world or something describing the world be called then.. a Goombanian? Goombian? hmmm....

 

That is great news that they arent totally brainwashed all the time, saves alot of trouble i think in the long run.

 

Also i was thinking of the comment that the Dragon/drake clan should be the higher ranks. I like that, maybe having all dreadnaughts/sternguard/techmarines/chaplains from that clan. I do however feel that the leaders would keep their old clans looks when promoted to chapter master etc.

 

So now why were they sent to this world originally?

 

possible reasons:

To reclaim a lost forgeworld in the system

to guard over a webway portal (link to why they were given the white scars geneseed)

to bring this lost system back into the Emperors light

others?

[Captain Juan Juarez]

possible reasons:

To reclaim a lost forgeworld in the system

to guard over a webway portal (link to why they were given the white scars geneseed)

to bring this lost system back into the Emperors light

others?

 

The AdMech generally prefers to keep outside organisations from its affairs, so Tech Guard or Skitarii - heck even a Titan Legion - would be called upon to defend or retake a Forge World.

 

Typically Webway Portals are unknow - only when the Eldar strike are they discovered and somtimes not even then.

 

The third is typically the most used and most plausible reason, that or they occured druing a certain founding and were later given their defining task.

[SonofTerra]

Had a busy few weeks with work, but back at it because i am determined to finish this idea through.

 

Origins:

 

The Disciples of the Jackal were created on the 1st day of the 32nd millenium; The Third Founding. Originally created to continue bringing human worlds of the segmentum pacificus back into the light of the imperium. More specifically, the Jackals were tasked with securing the compliance of a system on the western edge of Segmentum Pacificus known as the Cakal system. Intelligence sent to the High Lords of Terra indicated that the system of 5 inhabitable planets was highly civilized but worshipped a god, which they referred to as the Great Jackal, instead of the Emperor himself. The High Lords saw the Cakal system as a key hub to bringing many more systems back into the light and thus wanted the Cakal system brought into compliance quick and easy. They named one of the the chapters that was to be sent to the area after this god with the plan that the astartes, in all their glory and bearing the title Disciples of the Jackal, would be enough to secure the system, and bring the emperors truth with them without the need for a prolonged battle.

 

The plan laid out by the High Lords themselves worked. The Astartes faced no opposition when arriving as the inhabiants believed them to be sent from the heavens to defend them. It was not long beore the bureaucrats were able to convince the native inhabitants that the Great Jackal was actually the Emperor of Mankind, come to save his children. And save they did......

 

The lengthy time between the reports on the system and the arrival of the Jackals had led to some major changes in Cakal. The planets, once prosperous and advanced, had fallen into a much more feral state. Years of attacks by Orks and Dark Eldar raiders had decimated the forges and hive worlds, leaving a fraction of the population alive and even less of their technology. Mesemola, one of two Hive worlds and also the capital world was the first planet the astartes descended upon. The Orks, who had overrun the planet entirely were overtaken in an 8 month campaign that only claimed the lives of 58 astartes. One by one, the other worlds of the system were quickly freed of Orks. The death world of Goomba, once the penal colony of the system, was the least affected of the 5. The Goombian tribes seemed to be as strong as previously indicated, perhaps even larger. Small groups of Orks wandered the plains of Goomba, avoiding the dragon infested forests and the mountains that were inhabited by dozens of other viscious creatures. The Disciples noted that the tribes of Goomba were keeping the Orks numbers down and recruited many of their young to be trained as space marines. After cleansing the planet of the xenos the Jackals took this planet as their own, building a great fortress high in the dangerous mountains that overlooked the great plains of the planet.

 

 

 

Thoughts?