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The Mini of Shame


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...And if you do not, you're one lucky SoB.

 

You know what I'm talking about. You put that little bastard together with SO much love and affection, and he turns out looking worse than the infamous Captain Cortez. You look at him and you look at him, then (if you are like me) you pull out the jeweler's saw and saw off the worst-offending bits, and for a brief moment you believe you can fix him. Then, you try and try again, and finally realize that no matter how many times you wreck and reassemble the blasted thing (or strip and repaint it), IT WILL ALWAYS SUCK.

 

For me, it's a pair of SM sergeants I put together in the early days of my hobby. Technically, there's nothing wrong with them: they each have MK8 armor, a loin cloth, a bolt pistol and a power fist. Except:

 

- The legs that I picked for them look like the poor buggers need to squat and crap ASAP.

- I actually stretched the loincloth, making it WIDER, and it throws off the mini's proportions quite badly, making it look stocky and squatty.

- Arms are positioned ridiculously, with the power fist raised to the sky, and the bolt pistol pointing awkwardly upwards and off to the side.

 

I've no idea what I was thinking when I built them. Do you have a shameful mini to share?

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I don't have any and don't think I've ever had any. Whether it was with blue-tac, green stuff or just careful consideration I always planned out all my models and their poses and none have resulted in anything that looked bad in my opinion, most look pretty darn cool I think. Most if not all of my Sergeant models in particular are favorites of mine and their characters generally prove just as impressive on the tabletop.

 

Even if I do put together a model that doesn't look too good, like an Imperial Guard Lieutenant I tried to make, I just hack it up and fix it up different. The lieutenant in question became a Regimental Bodyguard and looks just fine. Not that the resulting model was that bad in the first place, but just wasn't what I was looking for in the army. Patience, consideration and when all else fails, a sharp knife have always worked pretty well for me.

 

Heck several of my Marine armies were assembled from disastrously assembled and painted models that I got secondhand in an army deal. Took me over a year, but even the worst and most messed up model in the deal was transformed into something useful and IMO cool.

I've got some that are beautifully converted, but will never feel the touch of a paintbrush because I am afraid of screwing them up and them being a painting version of what you just mentioned.

 

I have, however, made Eye of Sauron Marines whose greenstuff shoulderpads look kinda ridiculus.

It's a Terminator. Two-toned hideous crux with a solid Shining Gold glob of skull and crossbones. 'Thin your paints!' worthy slop-artistry on the detail work and a base that looks like it'd been left in kitty litter with greenish mold.

 

 

I keep it just to see how far I've come over the years.

Well my friend tried to help me in the early days and gave me two bikers for my white scars....things were...fused where it shouldn't be....the forearms are fused the the handles and the read is melted to the back seat...not to mention the 8 completely unrelated colors he painted it with...I tried to save it but it looks like he got into a burning wreck! Hm.....or nurgled...

I have an Emperor Champion, painted in BA colors, because I found the mini way too cool, but paint turned out not so well, the right arm regularly falls apart (and in a bad position), glue went on the sword, on the feet, and on the cloak, and it is not so well glued to a skulls base. (but the base is very well painted to my personal taste)

 

Image : EC of Shame

I have an Emperor Champion, painted in BA colors, because I found the mini way too cool, but paint turned out not so well, the right arm regularly falls apart (and in a bad position), glue went on the sword, on the feet, and on the cloak, and it is not so well glued to a skulls base. (but the base is very well painted to my personal taste)

 

Image : EC of Shame

 

 

the base looks good....

 

;)

I have an Emperor Champion, painted in BA colors, because I found the mini way too cool, but paint turned out not so well, the right arm regularly falls apart (and in a bad position), glue went on the sword, on the feet, and on the cloak, and it is not so well glued to a skulls base. (but the base is very well painted to my personal taste)

 

Image : EC of Shame

 

If that's your mini of shame, I'd love to see your ones of pride... that looks quite good. :)

Mine is my Biker Captain, I took apart at least three marines trying to get the perfect pose. Tried to get him leaping off his bike and into the enemy with his relic blade held high.... end of the day he looks like he's tripping off his bike and about to impale himself on his own sword... shame

I don't have a shamefully assembled mini, but my first effort at painting...

 

The paint is too thick and it's really sloppy. To bring the look together, there's a really bad "U" I hand-painted on the shoulder.

He's my first marine and will always be in my force when I play...but I'll be damned if he isn't always the first one to die.

Mine is my Biker Captain, I took apart at least three marines trying to get the perfect pose. Tried to get him leaping off his bike and into the enemy with his relic blade held high.... end of the day he looks like he's tripping off his bike and about to impale himself on his own sword... shame

Great! This made my day! Can we see some pics?

Mine is my Biker Captain, I took apart at least three marines trying to get the perfect pose. Tried to get him leaping off his bike and into the enemy with his relic blade held high.... end of the day he looks like he's tripping off his bike and about to impale himself on his own sword... shame

Great! This made my day! Can we see some pics?

Mine is my Biker Captain, I took apart at least three marines trying to get the perfect pose. Tried to get him leaping off his bike and into the enemy with his relic blade held high.... end of the day he looks like he's tripping off his bike and about to impale himself on his own sword... shame

Great! This made my day! Can we see some pics?

I have had several that were so bad they shouldn't see the light of day but miraculously somehow events have conspired to remove them from existence through no interaction on my part . . . . . :rolleyes:

 

That said the worst had to be an old metal terminator I bought in 1992. It had a really really bad paint job in humbrol enamel (all I had at the time I started the hobby) and I, for some unknown reason, thought that I could melt the paint off with the gas hob in the kitchen. The paint that it was covered in at the time was thick enough so that the metal melted inside the paint and the model continued with a bad full body disfigurement for a year or two before it was subjected to being used as scenery along with a burned out rhino which I acquired from a school friend with a fetish for burning things with deoderant cans and a lighter.

I have an Emperor Champion, painted in BA colors, because I found the mini way too cool, but paint turned out not so well, the right arm regularly falls apart (and in a bad position), glue went on the sword, on the feet, and on the cloak, and it is not so well glued to a skulls base. (but the base is very well painted to my personal taste)

 

Image : EC of Shame

 

If that's your mini of shame, I'd love to see your ones of pride... that looks quite good. ;)

Thanks to bad photo quality... I really wanted to paint it, I was so excited I rushed it, and the result is not that good.

 

Rushed ?

-There's white paint on his red belt

-There's red on the black kneepad

-White shoulder pad protection is really bulky

-Look his feets : paint and glue on them :/

-Crux Terminatus and right shoulder pad could need a little wash

-You can't see from here, but there's a good amount of glue spilled on the sword, which kind of ruined the paint job

-Arm keeps falling off :/

My first "conversion" using the addition scout body from the sniper scout box, Imperial Guard legs and a heavy flamer, with a coat of paint so heavy it's not funny. To say the least, I've evolved from trying to create something so silly and my conversions actually look cool (And the paintjobs not so thick).

 

That's it, besides my first army (Ultramarines) in general.

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