IA: Death Bringers

[Flood]

http://noizeviolation.com/images/deathbringers-insignia.jpg

Chapter Badge

http://flood40k.comule.com/images/deathbringer_scheme.jpg

Origins

In the 22^nd founding, Lord Caustel was appointed as Master to a new chapter of Space Marines. With his fledgling companies Caustel began his search for a world they could call home. Time passed and although several worlds proved fruitful for new recruits, Caustel pushed on deep into the Mordant Zone of space: there, he approached the dark and barren death world of Schoel. Seemingly devoid of life, Schoel was in fact home to a race of extremely resilient and hardy people, who carved out a living for themselves in the black mountains of the unforgiving planet. Cloaked in perpetual darkness by it's moons, Schoel would become the home and recruiting grounds for Caustel’s Space Marine chapter: The Death Bringers.

Over the next two hundred years the Death Bringers earned themselves a reputation which was deserving of the Emperor’s finest. However, with the reign of the new chapter master, Siryo Benighte, the Death Bringers began to differ from the standard Codex Astartes.

Although raised as a Space Marine from a young age, Siryo Benighte came from a long bloodline of Schoelean death cult priests and knew the old faith well. The religion followed a number of prominent god-like figures, the most powerful of which was Death. Worship of the Death God (normally depicted as a fanged reptile sitting atop a large rock or moon) was central in Schoelean society. Death had become the pivotal force of nature on Schoel, an inescapable element that overshadowed every aspect of underground life. It was a thing to be feared, honoured, worshipped and respected.

As the Death Bringers drew more and more of their rank from the populace, so did the Schoelean religion permeate their practises and traditions. Within a few hundred years the chapter had fully integrated the belief system of the Death Cult, twisting it to conform to their new role as the Emperor’s angels.

Once appointed as chapter master, Benighte set about re-moulding the Death Bringers in a fashion more befitting to their home world, and established himself as head of the Schoelean council. From here on the Death Bringers would become heads of state, uniting the world’s separate factions under one rule, ultimately answering to the residing lord who was given the new title ‘Grand Reaper’. Benighte would go on to alter the chapter’s organisation in more ways before the end of his long incumbency.

The Fall of Tyrenus

The Necromancer (Chief Librarian) Tyrenus was proclaimed Grand Reaper by a council of the chapter's captains and assumed command. Although it is highly unusual for a marine to bear both titles, Tyrenus had proven himself without question to be the only marine worth the command of his brethren, surpassing his predecessor in both political and battle prowess.

A devote practitioner of the adapted death cult, Tyrenus took the belief to new heights, adding rituals of sacrifice and spiritual communication to his worship routine. Regarded as an extremely pious man within the chapter, he also commanded a great deal of respect and admiration from the company chaplains who would often join him in his strange worship. These practices filtered down the ranks, poisoning its very base belief system.

Not long after his promotion to chapter master Tyrenus proclaimed to his Death Bringers that he had communicated with the Emperor himself: without realising it, Tyrenus had slipped into the control of Chaos. In 862.M41, Tyrenus ordered a crusade on the planet of Marduk Sen.

Marduk Sen Crusade

Millions of bloodthirsty Orks descended upon the unprepared civilians of the industrious planet Marduk Sen, hundreds of gigantic Ork ships bombarded the surface, depositing their legions of alien warriors in a great rain of green terror. The planetary governor called for help, and his prayers were answered by Tyrenus’ army of marines.

After several successful battles the Death Bringers had regained control of the planet's main starport, factory cities and capital. However, the Orks were a formidable opponent and had overrun many of the large population centres. It was at this point that the Oratarian regiment of the Imperial Guard arrived to assist in the re-capture of these key settlements.

Tyrenus was insulted. After a large incursion against the main Ork force, Tyrenus turned his marines on the Imperial soldiers assisting them and had their commanders heads hung from the company banners. During this travesty, Tyrenus uncovered an Inquisitor Lord, Yarnil Cortivin of the Ordo Hereticus, among the guard officials. Yarnil had been assigned to investigate the marine chapter during this time, using the guard regiment as a cover.

Outraged by the accusations of the Inquisiton, Tyrenus had Yarnil brutally tortured, savouring the final kill for himself. This act was to be the final catalyst for the corrupted chapter master; Tyrenus believed he was the conduit of the Emperor-Death God, and Tzeentch rewarded him for his mistake by further enhancing his already formidable psychic powers.

However Tzeentch’s corruption was not all enveloping. Doul Fatalies, Chief Librarian 'Necromancer' of the Death Bringers, was leading a secondary force of marines against the Orks. Fatalies was a man of great piety and strong will, he saw through the lies of the Chaos God and beckoned Tyrenus to listen and halt the murderous crusade he had begun. Tyrenus was beyond help though. In a great fury he launched an all out assault against the Librarian’s army.

Marine against marine, the epic battle lasted for one full month and a day before Tyrenus and Fatalies met in mortal combat on the great plains of Marduk Sen. Though Fatalies was a powerful psyker, highly trained and experienced, he was no match the might of Tyrenus, now aided by the Dark Powers of Chaos. A short but immensely powerful duel of psychic abilities ended with Fatalies mortally wounded. Tyrenus rose to strike the killing blow: then nothing.

There was no sign of Tyrenus or his army. Around lay bodies of slaughtered guardsmen, fallen brothers and beaten vehicles, but not one trace of the enemy remained. Tzeentch apparently had other plans for his new pawns.

Homeworld

After their banishment from the Imperium following Marduk Sen the Death Bringers homeworld of Schoel was purged, eliminating the population entirely. The Death Bringers now live aboard their battlebarge; Eternal Night, from here they stalk the stars for their enemies. The loss of their homeworld was a particularly painful one for the chapter, and many marines still cling to tokens and relics which were rescued, as a reminder of why they must continue fighting to restore their honour.

Recruitment

As part of their punishment the Death Bringers are no longer permitted to recruit. It is only with their surviving numbers, less than 400, that they may seek retribution against the Emperor's enemies. The chapter's combat doctrine has taken this factor into account and been amended so as to reduce further unnecessary losses, at least until Tyrenus' force has been brought to justice.

Organisation & Combat Doctrine

"In the darkness, lurk as Death. From the shadows, strike as Death."

Prior to the chapters fall from grace, company organisation had deviated in many ways from the Codex set down by Gullieman. Since then however, the chapter has dropped the majority of its former structure and rebuilt itself in a more traditional fashion, with some exceptions to accommodate its current state. The chapter now forms six companies; the 1^st is a small company of Terminator veterans; 2^nd-5^th are compiled as small Codex-based companies, these four companies carry the names of the four squads that were involved in the final battle against Tyrenus (Xi, Sigma, Omega, Pi). The last company is a specialist unit of veterans known as the Death Reapers; these are led by the Master Chaplain. These 'Death Reapers' are among the most experienced and pious marines within the chapter, and are personally charged with tracking down and exterminating the surviving heretical marine brothers. See the organisation in full here

Since Marduk Sen the combat doctrine of the Death Bringers has been changed somewhat. With fewer numbers and no recruits to bolster losses they have become more cautious, calculating, and some might say, deceitful in their practices. Ambushes, booby traps, sneak attacks and night assaults are favoured methods. In assaults they commonly will use feigns to lure the enemy away from its main force or supplies, dividing them into smaller groups then striking like a predator in the night, picking them off one by one.

Gene-seed

The origin of the Death Bringers gene-seed is suspected to come from the Raven Guard chapter as the Betcher’s Gland and Mucranoid no longer exist within this gene-seed. A telling defect of the Death Bringers however, is the pigment organ known as the Melanchrome. Normally the Melanchrome causes the Space Marine's skin to become photo-chromatic, reacting to the strength of ultraviolet rays and radiation giving it an added layer of protection from such elements. This process did not take with the natives of Schoel, most likely due to their natural genetic mutations from subterranean life coupled with the faulty gene-seed. While the process still strengthens the marine’s resistance to strong sunlight, it is not potent enough to provide any protection from prolonged exposure or stronger forms of radiation. This affects the marines’ appearance, causing the skin to stay a very pale blue-white.

Beliefs

The Death Bringers shoulder a heavy burden on their name, and their every thought is devoted to removing that blemish through prayer and blood. Historically the chapter has been reclusive and wary of outside Imperial influences, the Inquisition in particular. With their recent transgression the Death Bringers have paid for this, the result has been a change of attitude towards their loyalist counterparts and a strong sense of remorse for their centuries of ignorance. Determined to redeem themselves they zealously seek out the most heinous of foes: the worshipers of Chaos, hopeful that it will lead them to the whereabouts of Tyrenus and the remaining heretical members of the chapter. Only with their destruction can the brothers make their peace.

The chapter does however retain its deep connection to the fundamental beliefs of the Death Cult. The Emperor is regarded as the deity of death, his eternal state of non-life cementing the ideological theory. As the Death Bringers do not consider death like most people, they have no qualms in sending allies or bystanders to meet their Emperor in the after-life. Indeed, they consider it an honour to finally ascend in this way.

Battle cry:

[Flood]

*Placeholder post.

Phew! Formatting that wasn't fun. 

 

 

[Flood]

OK well, this is the first (proper) version of the IA for the Death Bringers, I've managed to trim the original pdf down by about 1500 words.

Not sure I've done enough to convey the character of the chapter itself; going for a morbid, guilty, remorseful kind of vibe.

 

C&C welcome.

[Lt. Smash]

The formatting makes your IA really hard to read. But I did my best to persever...

 

Lord Caustel, couldn't be a warrior of note, if he was gonna lead a Marine Chapter. He would need to be under, I think, 14 years of a ge to under go the implantations required to be a Space Marine. Unless he was a Space Marine warrior of note.

 

In 114.M37 a civil uprising of the lower classes on Destrus resulted in all-out war within the establishment. Though not severe enough to warrant intervention by an Imperial regiment, the uprising was substantial and resulted in the ruling class being overthrown in the turmoil.

 

Maybe insert the word Guard between Imperial and Regiment?

 

Capitals for all your Space Marines too.

[Flood]

Well spotted. :)

 

Corrected.

[Shinzaren]

Tyrenus was insulted by this, in his eyes the Guard were not ‘pure’ enough for such an important campaign. After a large incursion against the main Ork force, Tyrenus turned his marines on the Imperial soldiers assisting them, and had their commanders heads hung from the companies’ banners. During this travesty, Tyrenus uncovered an Inquisitor Lord, Yarnil Cortivin of the Ordo Xenos, among the guard officials. Yarnil had been assigned to investigate the marine chapter during this time, using the guard regiment as a cover.

 

Outraged by the "blatant heresy and deceit" of the Inquisiton, Tyrenus had Yarnil brutally tortured, savouring the final kill for himself. This act was to be the final catalyst for the Death Bringers; their years of mutant acceptance; autonomous segregation; independent religious beliefs and actions; all heralded toward this moment. Tyrenus arose to the beckon of his fake Emperor, his Death God: Tzeentch, twister of truths and whisperer of falsities. Here the Death Bringers fell to the lies of the Great Deceiver and proclaimed their war against the weaker minds of the Imperium; the soft men of the Imperial regiments; the hypocritical Inquisition; the petty ramblings of the Ecclesiarchy and the failings of their Space Marine brethren in upholding the Emperor’s will. Tyrenus believed he was the conduit of the Emperor-Death God, and Tzeentch rewarded him for his mistake by further enhancing his already formidable psychic powers.

 

Why would an Ordo Xenos Inquisitor investigate a Space Marine Chapter? That would be Hereticus, if they were suspected of turning Traitor, or Malleus, if they were in league with demons. Still, if Yarnil got off even a snippet of a message to the Inquisition, and it was discovered he was brutally tortured and murdered by Adeptus Astartes, there is no longer the possibility of a Crusade of Penance in my opinion. The Inquisition would see that they were traitors and would do their utmost to exterminate them to a man. Its better to lose one Chapter to death, than to the arms of Chaos. That could just be me though, I always picture the Inquisition taking the hardest possible line in any scenario.

 

That aside, I like the chapter. However, it seems to dwell a lot on Schoel and the past, not really the present, or what the chapter is about today. I understand that the Death Cult and Tyrenus are important parts of the chapter history, it just seems that you spent a lot of time covering what was, and not enough covering what is.

 

Also, the Neophyte Initiation part of the article seems pointless, as they no longer are able to recruit from Schoel after it was destroyed by the Exterminatus. The whole story seems centered around this planet, and now its gone. That key point needs to be expanded I think. How did the loss of their homeworld color them into the future. Do they resent the Imperium? Do they blame themselves for being weak enough to fall, and thus lose their planet?

 

The whole chapter reads more as an extended tale of the chapter, rather than an IA. Its a good story, and I like how you tried to incorporate lots of the history and cult of Schoel into the Chapter, but I think you spent too much time there, and not enough on the chapter at present. These are simply my opinions though, so don't take them too seriously. :)

[Flood]

Aye that's what I was kinda thinking (Octa was saying the same thing to me). I'll have another revision later. I have trouble letting go of my long-winded historical explanations lol.

[Flood]

OK, 2nd revision applied, first post updated. I've taken onboard Shin's comments as well as Octa's from before and chopped a fair amount of the history lesson. This revision's some 1000 words shorter than the original (wow I did go on), so I hope it is more to-the-point and valid as an IA rather than a long-winded story.

[Shinzaren]

Its better, flows nicer, and has less of a story look/feel to it. However, that said, the story does still dominate the IA, the rest of the sections need to be fleshed out a bit, with more information.

 

Aftermath: Did they turn themselves? When they were exiled, did they see it as a deserved punishment? Did they turn to self-remorse and pity, or face outwards, defiant and proud?

 

Homeworld: Did losing their chapter have a profound effect on the survivors? Do they blame the Inquisitors? Themselves? Their traitor brethren? Do they carry pieces/tokens/remembrances of Schoel with them still? Or did they completely turn their back on the Death Cult ridden world and face the Imperium with a new faith and purpose?

 

Recruitment: Knowing they can't recruit, do they place extra care in surviving battles and lasting as long as possible? Or do they intend to go out in a blaze of glory? Perhaps not being able to recruit has placed a burning vengeance in their hearts and they have dedicated what time they have left to destroying Tyrenus for what he did to their brotherhood?

 

Organization: This is pretty good I think, maybe adjust parts of it to flow slightly better. The quote in the middle is a bit awkward.

 

Beliefs: Expound on this more. Tell us how the betrayal of Tyrenus affected them, and how they view the Imperium and its structure and enemies. Do they blame the Inquisition? Do they constantly hunt out clues for Tyrenus, and sift the Warp for the chance to find him? Is vengeance their reason to live now?

 

Its getting better and better, and looking more and more like an IA. Just need more on a few sections, as well perhaps even more cropping on the Origins and story. I know its hard, but I think it would help.

[Flood]

lol. I covered one or two of those points already (Hunting for Tyrenus, being extra cautous since they can't replenish men and a couple of your aftermath points) but aye, I'll sharpen it further.

Thanks for taking an interest Shin :cuss Get there eventually.

[Flood]

OK, small edits for the 3rd draft, I'm going to try redoing the opening paragraphs with the next edit. Not sure how, or if I even want to, alter the Marduk Sen background as I feel that's integral to understanding the current state of the chapter. I'm sure I can shorten it here and there but I'll need to look it over with the next edit probably.

 

Words of wisdom gladly accepted, especially in regards to the origins/marduk sen sections.

 

Also, anyone know if I can change the sidebar red to black? Tried putting in [sidebar=000000] but it didn't do it.

[ChaplainIktinos]

Ummm death before dishonor is used by samurai,aryan brotherhood and imperial guard in DOW you might wanna change it....

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Ummm death before dishonor is used by samurai,aryan brotherhood and imperial guard in DOW you might wanna change it....

 

Also used by the Imperial Fists.

 

 

Also, the formatting is bad.. Plus you need to up the text size; I'm not damaging my eyes on a bad monitor to read it.

[Flood]

What aspect of the formatting do you think is bad, Juan?

 

Font seems the same size as most of the others to me m8, is it maybe the font style itself (think I used times new roman)?

 

I'll think on the battlecry, I like it but if the IF already use it then maybe I could go for something else.

 

Keep 'em coming :)

[Captain Juan Juarez]

What aspect of the formatting do you think is bad, Juan?

 

Font seems the same size as most of the others to me m8, is it maybe the font style itself (think I used times new roman)?

 

I'll think on the battlecry, I like it but if the IF already use it then maybe I could go for something else.

 

Keep 'em coming :)

 

The sidebars are split into peices that either are not aligned.

 

Maybe it is the Font, but it's smaller than standard!

 

Battlecry:

Honour In Death!

 

Could have a variety of meanings, but if it's rubbish it just came to mind!

[Flood]

Sorry I don't understand what you mean about the sidebars, the text isn't aligned properly or the sidebars themselves aren't?

 

I'll get the text font changed to arial or something next update ^_^

[Shinzaren]

It's the font, the small scale, and the bad spacing of Times make it hard to read in a forum type setting. I prefer Times for my independent writing, but not for B&C, or any other forum that uses a different standard.

[Flood]

*changed motto/battlecry, changed font to Verdana, some minor alterations with Origins.

 

Further reccomendations required. I'll take an axe to the Marduk Sen next time.

[Flood]

Wow. So after nearly two years my life has settled down some and I'm ready to get stuck into some W40k love again.

To kick off, I've necro'd my IA here, rewrote some fluff and clipped a big chunk.

C&C welcome, hope to start getting some painting progress up in a couple of weeks.

[SnakeoilSage]

Looks damn good! A+!