DIY Chapter Idea

[Whit]

I've been tossing this Idea around for awhile, and thought that before I wrote an IA, I should post my ideas and get some feedback.

 

Sometime during M32, an Explorator team discovered an ancient system. Every one of its' planets had apparently been a part of the Imperium long ago, likely during the Great Crusade. The Majority of the remaining human inhabitants were tribal in nature, however, on one planet, a large world filled with rich plains and fields, the farming inhabitants still held access to Black Powder technology. They worshiped the body of a great Sky Warrior who came from the North Mountains and united their disperate ancestors against the great beasts that had been unleashed by the civilization ending cataclysm that had regressed the systems technology back so many thousand years. The body that they venerated, entombed where he had fallen in battle, was found to be a Space Marine of the Imperial Fists chapter, bearing markings of the Great Crusade.

 

The Explorators discovered that beyond the mountains where the locals foolishly believed him to hail from was a great wasteland of grey sand, filled with ruins and even a few intact buildings. The majority of the Explorator team deployed to this area to scavenge it for useful tech. Few of them survived to find the Great Fortress which, despite being unattended for at least Two Thousand tears, was still functional. Most of the Explorators had been brutally killed by strange cyber-beasts that dwelt the wastes, devouring anything and everything they could, excluding eachother. of the 250 Tech-adepts, Specialists, and Skiitari, only a scant 15 remained to call for extraction. Their reports on the Fortress and the system as a whole garnered an uncommon amount of attnetion from the Adeptus Terra. One of the worlds was given to the Mechanicus as a Forgeworld, another to the Schola Progenium for the Training of Storm Troopers and Commisars. The Ecchlesiarchy took another world where a sisterhood founded its' monastary years later. However, any attempt to take the great waste was met with the utter defeat of any Imperial force that was sent. Tales of beast larger the battle tanks with skin as thick as steel made their way back to the Adeptus Terra each time, as well as the myriad of smaller creatures that could tear a man in half.

 

Eventually, after hundreds of years of attempts, the Highlords of Terra commisioned the founding of a Space Marine chapter, of the Imperial Fists Geneseed, to take the great fortress, which had become filled with beasts after the Explorator team had opened its' gates, and stand as Warden over the wondrous things that the Fortress and the ruins surrounding it were thought to hold. An Imperial Fists Company, along with the selected founders of the chapter, cleared out the Fortress with great loss of life. Eventually, this new chapter was able to stand on its' own, and their brotheres departed. As they delved deeper into their new Fortress Monastary, clearing out any beasts that stood in their way, they found that the fortress had once held a force of Space Marines. A great deal of rare equipment was found, more then triple the suits of Terminator armor, Dreadnought Sarcophagui, and other vital resources were added to the chapter armory as they cleared out the infestation in their Fortress. They had an Abundant supply of Power Armor, more then most chapters thrice over, but they also had great demand for it. As they eventually became dominant over the beasts, they began implamantation of the Black Carapace earlier and earlier in the initiation process, for only the protection power armor offered was required to survive against even the most basic of the terrible cyber-beasts. This deviation was accepted as nescessary to the survival of the chapter, as was their descision to organize companies not by tactical role, but by the area of the fortress they occupied.

 

There are 5 companies, Excluding the Initiate Company, in the Chapter, 2 Tactical, 1 Fire Support, 1 Assault, and 1 dedicated to the maintaining of fortifications. The actual Fortress is evidently carved into a mountains, and as a result, only has two great bastion walls, although they are truly amazing fortifications. Each of these is occupied by a tactical company. The Great Gatehouse is occupied by the Fire Support company, where they rain heavy fire on any who attempt to attack the fortress. The inner structures and corridors leading to the underground sanctum are the dominion of the Assault company, where they have set up many counter-choke points to funnel enemy attack. The Fortification company and the Initiate company permeate the entire fortress for two very differant reasons. The Fortification company is deployed to insure that all pillboxes and Firing positions are properly held. The iniate company is deployed to Insure that there are as many power armored bodies as possible defending the chapter's great citadel. Each of these companies, excluding the initiate one, have their own veterans and suits of Tactical Dreadnought Armor. They number roughly double the size of a standard codex company, and each maintains their own vehicle pool. The Honor Guard watches over the Inner Sanctum.

 

So, there is the basic Idea behind my chapter, I have a couple of other details to talk about, but I kind of want to see the reaction to the basic history and orginizational differances first.

[RagingGriffon]

Wall o' text + triple post = pain.

 

Please break up your idea into paragraphs so it makes it easier to read and we can critique on your ideas.

[Whit]

I had a pretty bad connection at the time of posting, so sorry for the Triple post, as for an easier-to-read summary.

1. Background: Chapter was founded to take and hold an Ancient Pre-Heresy Fortress that was home to a great deal of Archeo-Tech and other Equipment. Its' Creation was necessary as Great Cyber Beasts made mincemeat of any other Imperial attempts at occupation.
   
2. Organized differantly to allow for easier defence of Stronghold. There are 5 companies of approx. 200 marines that each have their Own armories and vehicles pools, they each man a part of the bastion.
   
3. Initiates are implanted with the black carapace much earlier on to allow for survival against the cyber-creatures that were the reason for the Chapters founding.
   
4. The chapter regularly hunts for Archaeotech and has an overstocked armory.
   

 

Like I said, I have a few other Ideas but I want to hear some criticism on the basic concept first.

[Jarl Bloodwolf]

So your chapter was founded to take a fortress? Why? What is so important about this fortress that the High Lords would order the creation a whole new chapter just to take it when they could just as easily request a chapter that already exists to do it instead of taking time and recources to make a 5 company chapter. Or better yet if the AdMech where so intent on getting into the fortress why didn't they just return with one of their own legions.

 

Most chapters with a homeworld are ment to patroll a certain area of space, so if a chapter was perminantly garrisoned at an ancient fortress and only given 5 companies to do it there has to be something very important or valuable in the fortress or about it to limit that force to only protecting that fortress and doing nothing else. And if there is something important enough that would warrant a chapter to be made to protect it I doubt only 5 companies would be made.

 

What is so important about this system that almost every organization in the Imperium is claiming worlds in it (there are alot of worlds in the Imperium so it's not like there is a race to see who can controle more). Also how was it that in 10,000 years this system wasen't discovered? was it blocked by warp storms? was it under the controle of xenos and was just recently liberated?

 

I think you have a good basis here but it needs to be focused and fleshed. I would suggest having only 1 planet be discovered instead of a whole system, the tribe dosent worship the fallen marine they honor him as worship hints that they see him as a god and the Ecclesiarchy woulden't allow astartes to be venerated as gods. That leads to Chaos.

 

The desert with the beasts is good but 1 problem. Why would the AdMech soldier through this desert to the fortress when they could simply fly there. They are the AdMech after all. Was their ship attacked by a flying beast in route to the fortress so they were forced to go the rest of the way on foot? where their wind storms so strong that transports coulden't fly?

 

As for the fortress itself it needs to have more importance then just being hard to get into and being a space marine armory, which also with the massive amounts of ancient tech the AdMech probably would have taken most of it to reverse engineer it or to spread it out amongst other chapters. Not leave it to a 5 company strong chapter who defends a fortress from techno beasts. Maybe have the fortress be in a enemy heavy area of space and there is ancient immovable tech in the fortress that must be protected lest it fall into enemy hands.

[Shinzaren]

I've been tossing this Idea around for awhile, and thought that before I wrote an IA, I should post my ideas and get some feedback.

 

Sometime during M32, an Explorator team discovered an ancient system. Every one of its' planets had apparently been a part of the Imperium long ago, likely during the Great Crusade. The Majority of the remaining human inhabitants were tribal in nature, however, on one planet, a large world filled with rich plains and fields, the farming inhabitants still held access to Black Powder technology. They worshiped the body of a great Sky Warrior who came from the North Mountains and united their disperate ancestors against the great beasts that had been unleashed by the civilization ending cataclysm that had regressed the systems technology back so many thousand years. The body that they venerated, entombed where he had fallen in battle, was found to be a Space Marine of the Imperial Fists chapter, bearing markings of the Great Crusade.

 

The Explorators discovered that beyond the mountains where the locals foolishly believed him to hail from was a great wasteland of grey sand, filled with ruins and even a few intact buildings. The majority of the Explorator team deployed to this area to scavenge it for useful tech. Few of them survived to find the Great Fortress which, despite being unattended for at least Two Thousand tears, was still functional. Most of the Explorators had been brutally killed by strange cyber-beasts that dwelt the wastes, devouring anything and everything they could, excluding eachother. of the 250 Tech-adepts, Specialists, and Skiitari, only a scant 15 remained to call for extraction. Their reports on the Fortress and the system as a whole garnered an uncommon amount of attnetion from the Adeptus Terra. One of the worlds was given to the Mechanicus as a Forgeworld, another to the Schola Progenium for the Training of Storm Troopers and Commisars. The Ecchlesiarchy took another world where a sisterhood founded its' monastary years later. However, any attempt to take the great waste was met with the utter defeat of any Imperial force that was sent. Tales of beast larger the battle tanks with skin as thick as steel made their way back to the Adeptus Terra each time, as well as the myriad of smaller creatures that could tear a man in half.

 

Eventually, after hundreds of years of attempts, the Highlords of Terra commisioned the founding of a Space Marine chapter, of the Imperial Fists Geneseed, to take the great fortress, which had become filled with beasts after the Explorator team had opened its' gates, and stand as Warden over the wondrous things that the Fortress and the ruins surrounding it were thought to hold. An Imperial Fists Company, along with the selected founders of the chapter, cleared out the Fortress with great loss of life. Eventually, this new chapter was able to stand on its' own, and their brotheres departed. As they delved deeper into their new Fortress Monastary, clearing out any beasts that stood in their way, they found that the fortress had once held a force of Space Marines. A great deal of rare equipment was found, more then triple the suits of Terminator armor, Dreadnought Sarcophagui, and other vital resources were added to the chapter armory as they cleared out the infestation in their Fortress. They had an Abundant supply of Power Armor, more then most chapters thrice over, but they also had great demand for it. As they eventually became dominant over the beasts, they began implamantation of the Black Carapace earlier and earlier in the initiation process, for only the protection power armor offered was required to survive against even the most basic of the terrible cyber-beasts. This deviation was accepted as nescessary to the survival of the chapter, as was their descision to organize companies not by tactical role, but by the area of the fortress they occupied.

 

There are 5 companies, Excluding the Initiate Company, in the Chapter, 2 Tactical, 1 Fire Support, 1 Assault, and 1 dedicated to the maintaining of fortifications. The actual Fortress is evidently carved into a mountains, and as a result, only has two great bastion walls, although they are truly amazing fortifications. Each of these is occupied by a tactical company. The Great Gatehouse is occupied by the Fire Support company, where they rain heavy fire on any who attempt to attack the fortress. The inner structures and corridors leading to the underground sanctum are the dominion of the Assault company, where they have set up many counter-choke points to funnel enemy attack. The Fortification company and the Initiate company permeate the entire fortress for two very differant reasons. The Fortification company is deployed to insure that all pillboxes and Firing positions are properly held. The iniate company is deployed to Insure that there are as many power armored bodies as possible defending the chapter's great citadel. Each of these companies, excluding the initiate one, have their own veterans and suits of Tactical Dreadnought Armor. They number roughly double the size of a standard codex company, and each maintains their own vehicle pool. The Honor Guard watches over the Inner Sanctum.

 

So, there is the basic Idea behind my chapter, I have a couple of other details to talk about, but I kind of want to see the reaction to the basic history and orginizational differances first.

 

Try breaking it up like that. Makes it a heck of a lot easier to read I think.

[Whit]

So your chapter was founded to take a fortress? Why? What is so important about this fortress that the High Lords would order the creation a whole new chapter just to take it when they could just as easily request a chapter that already exists to do it instead of taking time and recources to make a 5 company chapter. Or better yet if the AdMech where so intent on getting into the fortress why didn't they just return with one of their own legions.

 

Archaeo Tech. There was a great deal of Ancient Technology that was quite valuable, however thanks to the intensely powerful Cyber Creatures, who I will likely expand on more specifically, all attempts to claim the fortress, Skiitari, Guardsmen, whatever, were unsuccessful. The Admech survivors did study the inside of the fortress in the limited time they had before their pickup, and the things that were found in the Data consoles at the great door of the Deep vault that is now the Inner Sanctum was something that the High Lords found quite interesting, worthy of the founding of a chapter.

 

Most chapters with a homeworld are ment to patroll a certain area of space, so if a chapter was perminantly garrisoned at an ancient fortress and only given 5 companies to do it there has to be something very important or valuable in the fortress or about it to limit that force to only protecting that fortress and doing nothing else. And if there is something important enough that would warrant a chapter to be made to protect it I doubt only 5 companies would be made.

 

Well, this is really my fault for only going as far their early founding years. The chapter did go out on regular campaigns against the more dangerous aggressors of their charge. (The Fortress) I only posted the where and why of their founding. Also, they were not given 5 companies, they founded a whole chapter. However, the Masters of the chapter made the descision to change the Organization of the chapter to better suite the Monastary they were holding. Their is something quite important in the deepest, darkest parts of the Fortress, but I prefer a little of the Old 40k Ambiguity on the subject, I hope you can all forgive me for that.

 

What is so important about this system that almost every organization in the Imperium is claiming worlds in it (there are alot of worlds in the Imperium so it's not like there is a race to see who can controle more). Also how was it that in 10,000 years this system wasen't discovered? was it blocked by warp storms? was it under the controle of xenos and was just recently liberated?

 

Okay you've got me there. I didn't really have a good reason for so many big players in the system. That is a change that I really should make, and thank you for pointing it out. However, as for the system being discovered 10,000 years after the heresy, it wasn't. In fact:

Sometime during M32, an Explorator team discovered an ancient system.

Sorry for the Misconception.

 

I think you have a good basis here but it needs to be focused and fleshed. I would suggest having only 1 planet be discovered instead of a whole system, the tribe dosent worship the fallen marine they honor him as worship hints that they see him as a god and the Ecclesiarchy woulden't allow astartes to be venerated as gods. That leads to Chaos.

 

I didn't mean to say they worshipped him after Imperial rule was established. In the 2-3 thousand years that the world had been abandoned, a primitive view of the lone, stranded space marine as a Patriarchal Deity had taken hold. This was soon corrected.

 

The desert with the beasts is good but 1 problem. Why would the AdMech soldier through this desert to the fortress when they could simply fly there. They are the AdMech after all. Was their ship attacked by a flying beast in route to the fortress so they were forced to go the rest of the way on foot? where their wind storms so strong that transports coulden't fly?

 

Hmm, good point. That is a problematic plothole. I like your idea about the flying beasts, I think I'll try to expand on that.

 

As for the fortress itself it needs to have more importance then just being hard to get into and being a space marine armory, which also with the massive amounts of ancient tech the AdMech probably would have taken most of it to reverse engineer it or to spread it out amongst other chapters. Not leave it to a 5 company strong chapter who defends a fortress from techno beasts. Maybe have the fortress be in a enemy heavy area of space and there is ancient immovable tech in the fortress that must be protected lest it fall into enemy hands.

 

Well, the Admech probably would have taken all the tech that they could get their greedy mechandrites on, if they hadn't left the door open for the Cyber Beasts. Cyber Beasts, I like to imagine, had been kept away from the fortress by the automated gun systems, Laser Batteries that blasted them but recongnized the Admech as friendly and, mostly, human. Any attempts to reclaim it afterwords were brutally picked apart by those Mechano-monsters.

 

Thanks for all the advice, I'll put it to good use in any upcoming revisions.

[Blitzkreig]

3 little letters that can help to explain the strong forces extered in order to take the Fortress... S.T.C.

 

If an S.T.C was found the Fabricator General of Mars (who is one of the High Lords of Terra) could send one of his legions to take the fortress, they fail and so he turns to the High Lords in order to have a Marine Chapter take it.

 

Unfortunately no Marine Chapters within range are able to take action because of Warp Storms, Orks, Chaos, Eldar, the usual crap and so they decide to create a new Chapter, one which will inevitably have strong ties to the Adeptus Mechanicus...

 

And rather than have the fortress as housing a great amount of wargear already, you could say that it houses production facilities and the like (think Deliverance, the Raven Guard home world... its production output can match most small forge worlds) which further solidifies the AdMech realtion and can help to explain the Fortresses importance (if you find a bloody fortress capable of producing Power Armour and the like, you bloody well hold onto it!).

 

All in all I like the idea and think it has some potential, you just need to work on it a bit :)

 

Best of luck with your idea.

[Jarl Bloodwolf]

"So your chapter was founded to take a fortress? Why? What is so important about this fortress that the High Lords would order the creation a whole new chapter just to take it when they could just as easily request a chapter that already exists to do it instead of taking time and recources to make a 5 company chapter. Or better yet if the AdMech where so intent on getting into the fortress why didn't they just return with one of their own legions."

 

Archaeo Tech. There was a great deal of Ancient Technology that was quite valuable, however thanks to the intensely powerful Cyber Creatures, who I will likely expand on more specifically, all attempts to claim the fortress, Skiitari, Guardsmen, whatever, were unsuccessful. The Admech survivors did study the inside of the fortress in the limited time they had before their pickup, and the things that were found in the Data consoles at the great door of the Deep vault that is now the Inner Sanctum was something that the High Lords found quite interesting, worthy of the founding of a chapter.

 

Ah see there is a differance between creating a chapter to protect the important tech that was inside the fortress and creating a chapter to take the fortress which I believe was your purpose for the chapters creation? Also a note that creating a chapter takes a good deal of time as organs and such have to be cropped and harvested, recruits have to be found and trained and the chapter has to be supplied with arms and a means of transportation and such. That being said I really think you should stay away from having the chapter be created to take the fortress from the creatures. Maybe instead have the chapter be recently founded for another purpose and they where the closest in the area and so where tasked with taking the fortress.

 

"Most chapters with a homeworld are ment to patroll a certain area of space, so if a chapter was perminantly garrisoned at an ancient fortress and only given 5 companies to do it there has to be something very important or valuable in the fortress or about it to limit that force to only protecting that fortress and doing nothing else. And if there is something important enough that would warrant a chapter to be made to protect it I doubt only 5 companies would be made."

 

Well, this is really my fault for only going as far their early founding years. The chapter did go out on regular campaigns against the more dangerous aggressors of their charge. (The Fortress) I only posted the where and why of their founding. Also, they were not given 5 companies, they founded a whole chapter. However, the Masters of the chapter made the descision to change the Organization of the chapter to better suite the Monastary they were holding. Their is something quite important in the deepest, darkest parts of the Fortress, but I prefer a little of the Old 40k Ambiguity on the subject, I hope you can all forgive me for that.

 

Ok so how is rearranging the chapter into 5 companies each 200 strong more effective at maintaining fortifications then standard organization? The Imperial Fists are famous for their abilities in seige warfare yet they haven't altered their company organization.

 

What is so important about this system that almost every organization in the Imperium is claiming worlds in it (there are alot of worlds in the Imperium so it's not like there is a race to see who can controle more). Also how was it that in 10,000 years this system wasen't discovered? was it blocked by warp storms? was it under the controle of xenos and was just recently liberated?

 

Okay you've got me there. I didn't really have a good reason for so many big players in the system. That is a change that I really should make, and thank you for pointing it out. However, as for the system being discovered 10,000 years after the heresy, it wasn't. In fact:

Sometime during M32, an Explorator team discovered an ancient system.

 

Sorry for the Misconception.

 

Ok my bad on the chapters age I think I just skimmed over that section. But I do want to point out that the 32nd millenium isn't that long after the HH and so ancient technology woulden't be as valuable as it would be later on so I would suggest having these events occur later than the 32nd millenium.

 

I think you have a good basis here but it needs to be focused and fleshed. I would suggest having only 1 planet be discovered instead of a whole system, the tribe dosent worship the fallen marine they honor him as worship hints that they see him as a god and the Ecclesiarchy woulden't allow astartes to be venerated as gods. That leads to Chaos.

 

I didn't mean to say they worshipped him after Imperial rule was established. In the 2-3 thousand years that the world had been abandoned, a primitive view of the lone, stranded space marine as a Patriarchal Deity had taken hold. This was soon corrected.

 

Ah gotcha

 

As for the fortress itself it needs to have more importance then just being hard to get into and being a space marine armory, which also with the massive amounts of ancient tech the AdMech probably would have taken most of it to reverse engineer it or to spread it out amongst other chapters. Not leave it to a 5 company strong chapter who defends a fortress from techno beasts. Maybe have the fortress be in a enemy heavy area of space and there is ancient immovable tech in the fortress that must be protected lest it fall into enemy hands.

 

Well, the Admech probably would have taken all the tech that they could get their greedy mechandrites on, if they hadn't left the door open for the Cyber Beasts. Cyber Beasts, I like to imagine, had been kept away from the fortress by the automated gun systems, Laser Batteries that blasted them but recongnized the Admech as friendly and, mostly, human. Any attempts to reclaim it afterwords were brutally picked apart by those Mechano-monsters.

 

Ah but you said that the technology was important enough that it caused the AdMech to go to the High Lords which in turn caused a chapter to be dispatched to take the fortress from the beasts. This all goes back to the AdMech needing to get to the technology so after the marines took the fortress the AdMech would have stepped in and taken what they set out to retrieve as that was the objective of the chapter all along. To clear the fortress for the AdMech.

 

I would have it so that the dark secret within the depths of the fortress is immovable and of such great importance that the chapter was perminantly garrisoned to the fortress to protect that secret while the AdMech research it. Due to the importance of this tech the AdMech supplies the chapter with excellent war gear to better perform their charge.

 

Thanks for all the advice, I'll put it to good use in any upcoming revisions.

 

No problem, glad to help :) I'll also be PMing you about an idea as to what that Dark Secret in the depths of the fortress could be ;)

[Whit]

I think I'm going to get to start writing the IA tomorrow. Thanks for your advice, it has been a real help in my revisions on the chapter. But before I post the IA, I had an idea for what lies inside the vault. Gene-seed. Perhaps the Great Fortress had been taken from a Cyber-oriented culture during the Great Crusade as a Space Marine storehouse. Technologies like Dreadnoughts, Power Armor, and Terminator armor would all be stored in the outer rungs, with the more precious geneseed stored beneath. However during the Heresy, most of the fortress was destroyed. The Imperial Fists were involved, as the Lone Space Marine proves, however it is impossible to know if they were the defenders or attackers. No risks were taken, and the vault was sealed. The Masters of the Chapter would likely be the only ones aware of the secret. Perhaps in a time of desperation, when the chapter took a heavy toll, the Vault was opened, and the Geneseed taken for use in recruitment. What do you guys think?

 

Also, I like the other ideas you guys have suggested, in the final version, I may very well 'borrow' bits and pieces and cobble them together.

 

As for organization, I concede that Jarl has a point. I think that I'll probably stick with the radical orginaization change, although I probably will come up with more reasons for it. My main reason behind it was that the fortress was divided into 5 distinct sections, each was occupied by one of the companies.

 

Also, do you think that the accelerated recruitment proccess is a little too much? To recap, the Black Carapace is implemented early so as to allow the use of power armor, which is necessary for survival against the cyber beasts.

 

I also had an Idea for a ritual. The Chapter regularly sends forays out into the ruins searching for archeotech in the form of a Squad- based ritual. Upon a Marines induction into a company, he is assigned to a squad, each with its' own history and armory. These squads are required to participate in a ritual once every planetary cycle. They venture out into the wast with only their weapons, a Rhino Transport, and enough supplies to last a Space Marine a standard week. They cannot return to the chapter without a piece of salvagable technology. Any weapons or armor fragments that are found are taken by the squads company, and added to the Armory. This ritual helps keep Cyber populations down, as well as continue to stock the armories of the Chapter. Any non-space marine technologies are given over to the Mechanicus. Some Space Marines do not return, although never has an entire squad fallen. Finding bodies of brothers who were left behind through nescessity is a special honor, and is cause for celebration as the marine's body is intered into the chapter catacombs. It is also worth noting that after thousands of years, relics are still being found in the monumental wreckage that was once the full fortress.

 

So thoughts on these new Ideas? I'll take your comments into account as I write up the IA tomorrow. ;)

 

 

EDIT: Oh also, to clarify, they were founded to hold a fortress. The chapter they succeded, the Imperial Fists, cleared the actual fortress, at great cost, and aided in its' garrison until their younger brotheres were able to man it on their own. As for a differant time of founding, I'll have to do some timeline research.

[Leonaides]

One rather large problem about implanting the black carapace early - your marines will grow out of it like crabs out-groiwing their shells. The black carapace is a synthetic implant, not a biological organism that will grow with the marine. Neural interface ports would end up in the wrong places, nerves could be pulled/snapped as the ports move, etc...

 

Why couldnt the Ad mech pick up this fortress with space-based scanning? That would probably form the first inital step in assessing the planet, if only to decide where to land explorator teams.

 

Cyber populations? Someone must be making these things - why havent your marines gone looking for the source?

[Whit]

Good point on the Black Carapace, do you know of any documentation that details the growth of the marine during the process of his creation? If you do, I'd like to take a look at it.

 

The Mechanicus did find the Fortress, and the ruins as a whole. The entire area is likely covered in thermal spikes, so finding the fortress would be hard. Why is it covered in thermal spikes you ask? 2 reasons:

1) Whatever is making the Cyber-things creates alot of energy, and permeates the underground cisterns and,

2) While the Fortress is the only fully intact part of the ruins, occasionally a semi-intact ruin can be found, usually only a single building, tattered beyond reapir. Pinpointing the fortress in this mess would have been a difficult task, especially since they didn't know to look for it. It is a miracle that the ground team found it, by all rights they should have all died in one of the many useless ruins.

 

As for whats making the cyber-things, I actually had an idea about this. Deep in caves systems underneath the wasteland, the cyber-things are thought to spawn. While the surface of the Wasteland is far safer today then it was when the Imperium first found it, (That is to say, merely most non-Space Marine expeditions cannot survive more then 24 Standard-hours roaming it, as opposed to all of them) these caves are still filled with the deadliest of the cyber beasts, and in great number. once every ten years, one of the companies will be assigned honor of leading an expedition into these caves. While mostly unnsuccessful attempts result in a great loss of life, and an even greater addition to the trophy rack, more recently a permanent foothold has been established in the caves. Though this position must be constantly manned, and ammunition is expended quite rapidly when the newly-placed energy barriers are taken offline for maintenance, it is believed that by the next Great Hunt, the Marines will penetrate atleast into the outer edges of the Domain of Beasts.

[Leonaides]

OK, if the fortress is big enough that the marines havent maanged to clear it in years, its definately big enough to be found from space. And I really cant see any marines only launching attacks on the source of the cyber beasts once every 10 years. They'd go in and keep going till they, or the beasts were dead. If they lost too many marines then they might pull back, but I doubt they'd leave it a decade before trying again. That'd be pointless as it would allow the beasts to re-populate just as much.

[Jarl Bloodwolf]

I gotta say I agree with Leonaides about this. Since your using some of my advice about having the admech fly to the fortress (you should think of a name for it) then be attacked have it so they were flying there after their scans detected it in space.

 

As for the cyber beasts your ideas are contradicting eachother now. At first you had it so that the creatures got in when the admech explorers opened the fortress but now your saying that whatever is creating the beasts is located deep within the fortress and so that's how there are still creatures inside. On this I would suggest having the creatures be ancient. What ever made them is gone but there are still huge amounts of them throughout the desserts. Those that got into the fortress were hunted down and destroyed, or you could have them be like necrons. If they aren't disposed of properly they will regenerate.

 

For the idea of gene-seed I don't think it fits with what you want. Yeah it is important enough but if the planet is isolated enough to have not already been discovered when your admech found it then they wont want to leave gene seed that far out in space. They would have transported it to Mars to be kept safe. I would stick with an ancient technology.

 

I think you need to go back and think of the basics of your chapter. Origins, homeworld, fortress monastery, combat doctrine, beliefs and then research certain aspects of what you want in the 40k universe. Have it be very simple at first without too much detail then go back and flesh out each section but keep it simple. Also

 

If I may be so bold you could searh for my IA called the Head Takers as an example. It's the most complete and has needed the least amount of changing. Or better yet look up Codex Grey's 2 DIY chapters which are very well done and are what I use as my own template outside of the DIY guide.

[Whit]

I believe there has been a misunderstanding. There are no creatures left in the fortress (I'm thinking of naming it after an ancient semetic fortress: Masada. What do you think) However in the other ruins, and an underground cave complex that does not directly connect to Masada. (Going to call it that instead of fortress until or if I think of a better name) As for locating it from orbit, they did, but the entire area is thrumming with heat signatures and the like. But you're right, they probably saw Masada from low orbit.

 

As for the pointlessness of allowing them to repopulate, you're absolutly right. It is completely inefficant to allow these dangerous beasts to repopulate. However, we are talking about proud warrior monks. While out of nescessity they significantly decreased the population of the cyber beasts, how would there Marines undergo rite of passage if not to hunt the beasts that have plagued and been triumphed over by their forebearers? The way I see it, in this case tradition trumps efficiency, even for a chapter so closely related to the AdMech, and especially for a chapter descended of the Imperial Fists.

 

@Jarl's last paragraphs: Okay, so I kinda knew that geneseed probably was a big fluffy no-no, but I wanted to throw it out there to see if it was a possibility. Thanks for the recomendations on IA reading, I'll give them a spin. Also, while I think that I've done Fortress Monastary, Origins, and homeworld to death, I did kind of leave out cobat doctrine and beliefs... Ithink you're right, more research is definately required.

 

Thanks for the Input, I've definately got way more work to do before I write that IA.