IA: The Saviors

[Espada Azul]

If you think an IA is complete, then by all means try to have it submitted for posting on the Librarium. If it gets accepted, good for you -- just be sure to send me a PM so I can add your Chapter to my 'to Add' list for the Galaxy Starmap update.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

On those occasions where the enemy is intent on getting into a melee, such as conflicts against Orks or Tyranids, The Saviors adopt a ferocity in close combat to match the legendary rage of the scions of Sanguinius and Russ.

 

I don't like this. Comparing your own marines, who's doctrine is of ranged attrition for the most part as you describe earlier in the piece, to the two most feared of loyalist Astartes chapters for their affinity for such close-quarter work seems just a little bit over the top in terms of praise.

 

It's be better if you took a far more generalized approach rather than pointing to two of the best in the galaxy as comparisons for The Saviors.

[Firepower]

On those occasions where the enemy is intent on getting into a melee, such as conflicts against Orks or Tyranids, The Saviors adopt a ferocity in close combat to match the legendary rage of the scions of Sanguinius and Russ.

 

I don't like this. Comparing your own marines, who's doctrine is of ranged attrition for the most part as you describe earlier in the piece, to the two most feared of loyalist Astartes chapters for their affinity for such close-quarter work seems just a little bit over the top in terms of praise.

 

It's be better if you took a far more generalized approach rather than pointing to two of the best in the galaxy as comparisons for The Saviors.

 

Yeah, I thought I might be treading on sovereign soil there. In truth it was inspired by (read: stole from) the IA: Iron Warriors entry for battle tactics. Roughly quoted, it said that when melee was the only choice, the IW would adopt a fury like those other two chapters, but only when necessary and only for as long as required.

 

I did not mean to compare their skills or predilection for close combat to the two chapters. As you said, The Saviors are primarily in favor of withering down the enemy with ranged attrition. I meant to imply that should an enemy be of sufficient numbers to reach their lines, The Saviors would adopt the same sense of ruthlessness and fervor as the SW or BA, out of concern for their charges safety as well as morale.

 

I'll have to reflect a while on how best to reword it. I'll probably be better off not mentioning the BA or SW at all, really :P .

 

The current theme is quite good, with the whole 'glorious saviors' theme fitting well into the golden colour scheme and background of the golden mask. To make your chapter stand out, IMO it is always good to have a well defined ideal that people will remember when they see your marines, usually summarised into two words describing their temperment and the persona or occupation they're based on, eg. black templars are 'zealous crusaders', or ultramarines are 'honorable romans' (my chapter is aimed to evoke 'heartless judges'). I am currently having a harder time finding such a simple description for The Saviors.

 

It is always good to also base a chapter on an idea we can concretely relate to and picture - on the B&C right now the Death Heads (pirates) and Emperor's Pride (lions) are good examples. The Saviors I think could benefit from a clearer emphasis on the golden masks they seem to idolise and the renaissance vibe that I have a glimmering of, to become perhaps an 'optimist renaissance' chapter.

 

"Protelo est Ministro" sums them up quite nicely, I think. It is not a visual descriptive such as "lions" or "crusading knights," but it is The Saviors in a nutshell. Earlier on when I was just fleshing out the idea (see above), I wrote of them as "determined optimists." Again, it doesn't give you a hint of what they look like aesthetically, but it is what they are. The color scheme itself is meant to depict royalty (purple/gold), and purity (white), but beyond that I haven't settled on a real solid aesthetic just yet (like romanized Ultramarines, knightly Templars, monastic Dark Angels, etc.). The one thing I do know is that i intend to model them with ornate but badly beaten up armor, and likely with a lot of IG serving as scouts and adding character to the bases. That's a bit beyond my skills with SM Painter, but i have a few sketches in my notebook which, if i can find someone with computer skills to clean them up and color them in, might serve as borders or flair for the IA entry.

 

Also, I wrote the Visage of Salvation (the mask) thinking of it as silver, not golden. Seeing how that doesn't really fit with the color scheme, I might have to rethink that.

 

If you think an IA is complete, then by all means try to have it submitted for posting on the Librarium. If it gets accepted, good for you -- just be sure to send me a PM so I can add your Chapter to my 'to Add' list for the Galaxy Starmap update.

 

Funny thing, I never really stopped to think out exactly where the Fraxian sector is in the Galaxy. I should get on that ;)

Edited September 8, 2010 by Firepower

[Ferrata]

Without reading the little bit before the title, which to be honest I did as I never see these little facts as part of the IA, I have no idea who or what the Wrath Forged are when you mention them. Remember to read dumb, like your reader :P

 

Why is one of the Imperium's few chapters (1 in a 1000) in a place that no-one really cares about? This is something that needs to be explained - it could be they are seeking one of the lost artefacts of Vulkan.

 

I find the origins section a little cheap. With the rebirth of the chapter, I feel there needs to be something more after - a little more story. It is something I failed to do in my Wings of Death IA, I spent all my time discussing about the chapter's fall that I really sold them short on how they were now.

 

On the mask, am I understanding the idea is that a person sees their reflection in it and who they see is their saviour - themselves. If so, very cool. I feel that this needs to be retread further down in the IA, as it is a really good core theme. As such, it really should come into beliefs, combat doctrine and maybe even organisation (less dependent on command and even brothers)