Dark Angels' Debt Repaid

[Thor Lokiago]

When word of a 19th Founding went out from the High Lords of Terra, Grandmaster Anaziel of the Dark Angels requested the formation of a chapter from his chapter's geneseed. Though highly controversial, Anaziel's request was accepted and the Disciples of Caliban were formed. However, this was not without price. Anaziel and his chapter were now indebted to the High Lords of Terra, a debt which would be fulfilled several thousand years later.

 

During the late centuries of M41, the High lords of Terra declaired yet another founding, this to be the 26th such venture. Though the exact reason for the Founding can only by speculated at, it is well know that the Imperial Terrot began showing ominous signs. Perhaps this is why the High Lords believed it prudent to call in their debt, though none outside that great council can know for sure. Whatever their reasons, a messenger was dispatched to The Rock to speak with the Chapter Master of the Dark Angels and secure the price of his debt; full endorsement and supply chapter 1047. Within a month, the strike cruiser Mjolnir's Wrath was enroute to Mars laden with equipment, weapons, and men.

 

Among the marines sent was 7th Company Captain elevated to the rank of Chapter Master by the name of Jordan Arthurn. The night before the Mjolnir's Wrath was scheduled to depart for Mars, Jorden had been summoned to Grandmaster Azrael's sanctum, along with Fredrick Drammar, a senior Chaplain being reassigned as the head chaplain to chapter 1047. It was here that Jordan learned of the history of the Dark Angels, and of his Primarch. He learned of the knightly order of chivalry that El'Johnson had joined, led, and eventually based his Leigon upon. He learned of the beauty and dangers of the feudal world of Caliban and its people. He was told of the great victories of the Primarch's conquests, and the darkest secret failure that was the Fallen and the destruction of Caliban. At the end of this confession of history, Jordan was relegated the Chapter Mastery of 1047 and sworn to his duties by both Azrael and Drammar.

 

And so upon arrival at Mars, the geneseed of the Dark Angels was transferred to the Mjolnir's Wrath and chapter 1047 was officially named the Dark Sons, proud legacy of Lion El'Johnson. As the chapter began administering the geneseed to its aspirants, Jordan set a course for the stars, determined to make a name for his chapter, and earn the name his chapter so proudly adorned..

 

 

Any comments, critisizms, suggestions, hellos, goodbyes welcome. I crave feedback.

 

Tune in next time for Part II

[Tutteman]

I'm afraid we shall need more to work on before we can really start commenting.

 

But so far mostly solid, I'm not sure how old Azarel is...but...is he really that old? Because that's over 4000 years...

[Thor Lokiago]

Alright, the big edit should give a little more to comment on. As for Azrael, if you check out the Disciples of Caliban during the 19th founding on Lexicanum, it gives the story. Bu yeah, he is an old sob -_-

[Tutteman]

Well thats weird, and there was me thinking that Dante was the oldest one about, and he's only 1000...Was it the same guy? Could we have two Azraels who both held grand Mastership...I'm not great on DA history -_-

 

What you have so far looks good to me.

[Thor Lokiago]

I thought Dante was neigh on 10,000. Wasn't he a scout during the heresy?

[Thor Lokiago]

I thought Dante was neigh on 10,000. Wasn't he a scout during the heresy?

[JamesI]

Dante is probably around 1500 (he's been chapter master for 1000), and older than Azrael. Check the DA codex, does it state the year of the Disciples founding?

[Octavulg]

It says late M37, IIRC. However, I think IA DA mentioned Azrael being recruited relatively recently.

[Vor]

Yeah, Dante is the oldest marine, I'm fairly sure of that. He wasn't around in the Hersey though.

 

I like the story so far though. Looking forward to more. I do wonder though if a sergeant would be entrusted to become a Chapter Master. Isn't it more likely to be a Captain?

[Shinzaren]

Dante is the oldest living space marine, barring the Dreadnoughts. Among them, I believe Bjorn the Fell-Handed is oldest, and he walked with Russ during the Heresy. However, the backround on the Disciples does seem to imply that Azrael personally asked for them, which conflicts with all reports of how old Azrael is... I'm guessing they just messed up their own timeline without realizing it.

[Viray]

I believe it was Grandmaster Anaziel, not Grandmaster Azrael, who asked for the founding of the Disciples of Caliban.

[Vor]

I believe it was Grandmaster Anaziel, not Grandmaster Azrael, who asked for the founding of the Disciples of Caliban.

 

With nothing better to do at 6am I just found my DA codex and had a look. You are correct. It says "It is believed that Dark Angels Chapter Master Anaziel made a a strong request of the High Lords of Terra for a chapter to be raised in the late 37th millenia."

[Tutteman]

Okay, now that we've embarassed ourselves with our inability to read :rolleyes:

 

I assume it will now be a debt owed by the DA not a personal one?

[Thor Lokiago]

Having never purchased a DA codex, I'm running most of this off of Lexicanum. I'll make the edit. Thanks guys. Part 2 should be coming later in the week, maybe wednesday at the latest.

 

And as for the Chapter Master, I wanted to use a veteran sergent because its less likely to step on any pre-existing toes. Think of it as a vet sgt. ready to be promoted to captain when the opportunity arises for my Chapter.

[Shinzaren]

The majority of Space Marine captains are unnamed. As long as you stay away from the 1st, 2nd, and maybe 10th Co, you'll be fine. Just conjure one up to meet your needs ;)

[Thor Lokiago]

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen for your feedback. I hope you'll do me the same honor with part two here.

 

 

 

For over a decade after leaving the docks above Mars, the Dark Sons traveled through the Segmentum Obscurus, responding to constant reports of Ork raiding parties. While tracking down and consequently destroying one such warband, the astropaths of the Mjolnir's Wrath picked up an urgent distress signal from a nearby star system. Due to an exceptionally violent warpstorm, the Mechanicum vessel Spirit of Ingenuity had been damaged and crash landed on a backwater feral world registered as Darkhold. Even more dire were the hosts of Deamons attacking the severely weakened defenses of the crashed ship, which would soon be overrun without reinforcement.

 

Knowing that to let a Mechanicum ship fall into the hands of chaos would be a dire mistake indeed, Chapter Master Arthurn re-routed the message directly to Mars, withdrew his troops from the Ork bandits they were engaged with, and immediately lept into the warp. Within hours Mjolnir's Wrath re-entered normal space above the forested planet of Darkhold. With their ship's sensor spirits picking up a large fluxuation of warp energies, Arthurn knew he had little time. With the Mechanicum's vessel having crashed on a great plains surronded by hills, he quickly order all of his men to their drop pods, leaving only a skeleton crew to keep their ship active, the Chapter Master and his chapter sped to site of the crashed ship, to arrive in explosions of fire and earth.

 

With the swift and unexpected surprise attack, the Deamon forces of chaos quickly fell to the Dark Son's precision and fury. With the initial forces of the enemy forced back, the Dark sons formed a perimiter around the ship as a Mechanicum engineer emerged from the ship to speak with Arthurn. Quickly the two outlined a defensive strategy that would make the most effective use of the ships surviving weapons and the marines themselves. As if sensing the defenders were readying themselves, tens of thousands of deamonic howls arose all around the crashed ship. Over the hills surrounding their position, Deamons poured like an endless flood of horror. On the crest of the hill above Arthurn's position, bellowed a great Bloodthirster of Khorne, the obvious leader of the Hordes. With stoicism unmatchable by normal humans, the Space Marines of the Dark Sons chapter stood their ground and readied their weapons to fire into the face of their ancient foes.

 

 

 

Will they survive? Will the deamons overrun our heroes and capture the ship? Tune in next time to find out in Part Three, The Battle that livens up the story of my DIY chapter!

[moi_a_mania]

My first question is: 1) Are you writing a novel or an IA?

As a novel, it is a compelling read that I am enjoying. I can't wait for part III.

 

As an IA, I have many more questions than answers. Here we go:

 

Is this the Dark Sons Chapter found in Lexicanum under http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Dark_Sons ?

 

Obviously this is a DA Successor using a DA gene seed.

 

What is their combat doctrine?

 

What is their Battle Cry?

 

What is their Homeworld?

 

Why would Mars request a Dark Angels Successor chapter in the first place? Even if they did, what is the purpose of this chapter? Chapters are made for specific purposes. You have already touched on this with the Disicples of Caliban. Do the Dark Sons have a similar purpose? Are they puppets of Mars? Why would the DA stand for this? A debt owed is one thing: Forced servitude is another. Please elaborate on this.

 

Other than they were once Dark Angels, how have they become their "own" chapter? What is their insignia? What makes them different from other DA Successor Chapters?

 

Do they have a Deathwing or a Ravenwing equivalent? How is your chapter organized? Do they have their own inner circle?

 

I have to tell you that a Veteran Sergeant rising up to become a Chapter Master is like recruiting a thirteen year old to play college football. It just isn't right. I could understand the 6th or 7th Company Masters becoming the new Chapter Master, but a Veteran Sergeant is a bit hard to swallow.

 

The answers to these questions along with a brief description of the battles in part I and II would make an excellent IA. As I stated earlier, it is a compelling read and I do look forward to Part III. But I look more forward to seeing your chapter "flesh out" the basics to make them more intriguing. Keep up the good work.

[Vor]

I like it. Good work.

[Thor Lokiago]

My first question is: 1) Are you writing a novel or an IA?  
As a novel, it is a compelling read that I am enjoying.  I can't wait for part III.  

As an IA, I have many more questions than answers. Here we go:

Is this the Dark Sons Chapter found in Lexicanum under [url="http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Dark_Sons"]http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Dark_Sons[/url] ?

Obviously this is a DA Successor using a DA gene seed.  

What is their combat doctrine?

What is their Battle Cry?

What is their Homeworld?

Why would Mars request a Dark Angels Successor chapter in the first place?  Even if they did, what is the purpose of this chapter?  Chapters are made for specific purposes. You have already touched on this with the Disicples of Caliban.  Do the Dark Sons have a similar purpose? Are they puppets of Mars?  Why would the DA stand for this?  A debt owed is one thing: Forced servitude is another. Please elaborate on this.

Other than they were once Dark Angels, how have they become their "own" chapter?  What is their insignia?  What makes them different from other DA Successor Chapters?  

Do they have a Deathwing or a Ravenwing equivalent?  How is your chapter organized? Do they have their own inner circle?

 

 

Alright, while I do plan on answering a few of these questions later on in the story, you have pointed out a few things I hadn't thought of or just plain missed, so I'll throw out a few brief answers for the ones I have answers to, and then I can get some input on the ones I dont. And I'm still not sure weter its a novel or IA. I think I want to be able to draw both from it lol. Here we go

 

 

1) Yes, they are those Dark Sons. I originally did a Green Lantern-esque looking chapter, but I decided it wasn't really working for me, so I went searching for a chapter with a relatively similar color-scheme (for the record, I NEVER suggest quartered Skull White and DA Green. It is a bitch to paint).

 

2) Combat Doctrine: Dark Sons hold the belief that the most honorable form of death is to be gained and given in close combat. That having been said, they also believe that only enemies powerful enough to survive a storm of weapons fire to reach close combat are worthy of dying in such an honorable combat.

 

3) Battle Cry: "For the Lion's Return" or something similar. They hold a very powerful belief that El'Johnson is alive and will return for the "Final Battle" much the same as the Wolves believe of Russ. This will be explained more in the future, though in hindsight I should've spent more time on it in the first Part.

 

4) Their Homeworld is Darkhold, the planet they're currently fighting against the Deamons on. It is in the Segmentum Obscurus, galactically west of Terra and not too far south of the Eye of Terror. I plan to describe it as a sort of "New Caliban".

 

5) Mars did not requisition the Dark Sons. The High Lords of Terra did, responding (supposedly) to ominous warnings from the Imperial Terrot (perhaps in response to the coming of the Armageddon Invasions in which several chapters a severely depleted in strength). Mars however, is where the gene-seed used to found new chapters is stored. This explains why my chapter's ship had to travel from The Rock to Mars. Their only real orders are to work in the Segmentum Obscurus. Its trusted that as Space Marines, they can figure out what to do from there :P

 

6) As for how they've become they're own chapter, I'm going to save that for the story. I have some fairly interesting ideas that I'd like to implement, and I feel I'd ruin the surprise by posting it here.

 

7) As for the Deathwing/ Ravenwing equivalent, I'm not sure. I'm thinking I may do a company made up of only Vanguard or Veteran Vanguard marines, giving more to the "Close combat is most honorable" belief. Still in the drawboarding stages there, so to speak. The chapter is organized as is dictated by the Codex Astartes, with only one or two minor adjustments that I will make known later. And by "inner circle" I assume you mean the Dark Angels council, and the answer there is no, they do not have one. While the chapter master and his senior staff (senior librarian, chaplain, 1st and 2nd company captains) know of the Fallen and the history of the Dark Angels, the Dark Sons mission in life is not to seek out the Fallen like most DA successors. Granted, they may do this from time to time should one of the traitors come into contact with Dark Son space, they do not actively go about the universe sniffing out their lost bretherin.

 

Hopefully I've answered most of your questions and if not, feel free to elaborate or comment. As always, I thank you guys for your support and constructive critisizm! You guys are the reason I enjoy writing. And now I think I'll go draw up Part III.

[Thor Lokiago]

Alright boys and (however unlikely that they exist on this forum) girls, its time for Part III. This may be a bit longer than the first two, but I want to try to give the battle a decent feel for it. Here I go.

 

 

The first wave of fire came from the turret mounted weapons of the Mechanicum ship. Though only two had survived the crash and were able to fire, these weapons were designed to fire upon other space faring vessels. Bolts of crackling energy blazed trails though the sky to land among the hordes of chaos, causing hills to erupt in explosions of vaporized dirt and gravel. Dozens of Deamons fell with every shot, their chaotic essences violently forced back into the warp by twin beams of death. However, the forces of chaos were undaunted, continuing to swarm towards the ship and its Adeptus guardians. The Bloodthirster bellowed and began to swing its axe around itself. As the axe started to glow with chaotic energies, the Greater Deamon hurtled it at one of the Ship mounted weapons, destroying it in an explosion of released power. As the Deamon's axe returned to it, the last remaining remaining Mechanicum weapon drew a bead on the powerful enemy and fired, instantly swathing the Deamon's position in smoke. However, as the dust cleared, the Bloodthirster could be seen laughing, surrounded by a dark shield of what could almost have been transparent blood. With a howl it threw its recharged axe again, and destroyed the last turret.

 

As tens of thousands of Deamons born of the blackest nightmares humankind could never have imagined surged towards the Dark Sons, they reacted as only the greatest warriors of the Imperium could in the face of such overwhelming odds; they stood their ground and opened fire, determined to make the Deamons pay dearly for every life to be taken that day. Floods of shells sped outward from every side of the ship. Plasma cannons dispensed super-heated liquid death in great splashes. Lascannons, though not the ship-mounted behemoths yet nevertheless still powerful, blasted away at larger forms hulking towards them. As many marines started to reload, great waves of ignited promethium flared outwards, incinerating the onrushing horde. For long minutes, it seemed as though victory might come easy. So great is the skill of the Emperor's finest that not a single shot was wasted, nor did every bullet fail to down a foe. However, the Space Marines had used their quickest means to reach the surface of the planet to aid the Mechanicum vessel, which had forced them to equip only their standard gear. At the rate they were expending their ammunition, and without being able to receive more from their ship in orbit, guns soon began to run dry and finally, every marine of the chapter had drawn their combat knives and pistols, forced to face their enemy int close combat.

 

With only a few yards between the Space Marines and their Deamon foes, the heroes of the Imperium charged. So fierce was this initial rush that the Deamons were momentarily taken aback and the marine's line held. But though every super-human soldier killed at least ten of their enemies, the Deamons still outnumbered them by the thousands, and the weight of numbers began to take its toll. As marines fell, they were forced to fall back so as not to be surrounded. Hundreds of marines fell as they were forced back, and eventually the Dark Sons were forced to make their stand at the entrances of the sundered Mechanicum ship that had called them to their doom. Yet even in these final moments, not a single marine falter for even a moment. Even as all hope seemed lost, Chapter Master Arthurn and Senior Chaplain Drammar could bee seen fighting side by side against the most furious of foes. Perhaps because of such stoicism in the face of inevitable defeat, the Emperor chose to smile upon his sons, for at that darkest of moments when it seemed the last lines of the Dark Sons would be overtaken and the flame of the chapter extinguished, there came a sudden blast of horns from over the hills of which the Deamons had charged. As the Deamons paused in their near victory to turn their attention to this noise, thousands of men in glittering plate equipped with multicolored shields and heavy-looking lances riding on powerful chargers drew ranks upon the tops of the hills. Almost as one these knights lowered their lances, let out a furious roar, and charged the rear lines of the Deamonic forces.

 

 

With renewed vigor, the Space Marines took advantage of the confusion this unlooked for aid had caused, charging into the sea of Deamons. Everywhere the forces of chaos were disoriented. As the charging line of knights hit their flanks, thousands of Deamons faltered and fell. Only around the Great Bloodthirster were there still Deamons who fought as fiercely as before and they slaughtered every knight who came close to them. Realizing that this could moralize the Deamons, the Chapter Master and Chaplain cut a bloody, gore-soaked path to the Greater Deamon and his entourage. Sensing the approach, the Bloodthirster strode towards the two heroes brandishing his terrible axe, now wreathed in flames, and bellowed a charge. As one Arthurn and Drammar struck, using the power of both of their weapons. Though the Deamon was powerful, the two men had lost almost all of their brothers, and their wrath was terrible to behold. While Arthurn launched blow after blow with his power sword against the Deamon, holding its attention, Drammar swung for its legs, destroying one knee and forcing the deamon to the ground. In one combined stroke, Drammar disarmed the beast, sending its axe spiraling across the battlefield while Arthurn performed a coup-de-grace, decapitating the Greater Deamon and sending its soul back into the warp.

 

A ripple of panic washed out from the dead body of the Deamon leader, and his minions began to die in even greater droves as they turned on each other, no longer held together by their leader's willpower. In mere minutes the last of the deamons had been vanquished and the Dark Sons stood triumphant over their enemies. But who were these humans who had turned the tide of battle and shown braver in the face of chaos. Would they attempt to destroy the space marines as well? Would the Dark Sons be forced to destroy their allies in battle? All these answers and more in the next exciting episode of this currently unnamed story.

 

Alright, hit me with the critisizm and comments. I crave your thoughts.

[Thor Lokiago]

And on another note, I changed Arthurn from a sgt. to a captain.

[Vor]

A grin spread across my face as I read about the horn and the knights appearing on the hills. Reminded me of the charge of the Rohirrim.

[Thor Lokiago]

Yeah. I'm trying to make this world a sort of "New Caliban", the DA's homeworld prior to being turned into giant rock, and Caliban was a feudal knight-heavy society. Part IV will hopefully make a debut this week, if I get enough interested people reading.