Tigers of Ravanont (The Senjat)

[Elias Tigris]

Figured I'd toss this up here and see what people think, this is the first time I've done anything like this so any help or advice would be appreciated (will update as I continue to write it)

 

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----------------------Codex Tigers of Ravanont--------------------------

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-----------------Ravanont--------------------------------------------------

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Pronounced an inhabitable Death World by the Imperium of Mankind,

Ravanont is the home of some of the Galaxy's most vicious predators,

among them the Warp Tiger. About half of the planet is covered in thick

forests where only the bravest and most powerful warriors dare to enter.

A remaining third of the planet is a wasteland of craters, areas where

the nearby Bravek Asteroid Belt lays waste for a month of the planetary

cycle.

 

A good portion of the human population has adapted to living in the

trees, their mighty warriors often hunting the seemingly endless

populace of tigers that reside in the forests, creating warm blankets

and clothes from the tough hides that can stop many of the blades of the

hunters. From the strongest of these warriors come the mighty Tigers of

Ravanont.

 

 

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~The Senjat Forest~

 

There are few not from Ravanont (and even few on the planet) who can

navigate the trecherous overgrown labyrynth that is the Senjat forest.

Deep within the predator infested forest lays four small bunkers. These

are the enterances to the Senjat Fortress; a massive underground

fortress that is the home of the Tigers of Ravanont (also know as the

Senjat). Each bunker is protected by two squads of Bengali warriors,

each a veteran who has voulenteered to protect the entrance of his home.

Their leader is one of the Xiamen, given the title of Master of the

Watch.

 

 

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---Tigers of Ravanont History-------------------------------------------

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~Lions and Tigers~ (M37.132)

 

Upon rediscovering of the planet of Ravanont, the Imperium heard of the

strong warriors. They established the Ravanont Dragoons division of the

Imperial Guard and it was decided that a portion of the men would form a

successor chapter of Space Marines. The legion who's warriors were

nearest to Ravanont were the sons of Lion El'Johnson, the Dark Angels,

so the Chapter Grand Master at the time, Zadakiel, was asked to supply

the new chapter with weapons, armour, and, most importantly, the gene

seed that would turn the men into Astartes.

 

Zadakiel chose from his most trusted men for the leaders of the chapter.

Master Amur Tigrarus was chosen to be the Grand Master of the Chapter,

Interrogator-Chaplain Ares would be the spiritual leader, Astalan was to

be the master of Librarians, and Telos would head the Medicare. Each

leader was told of the dark history of the Angels of Death, given the

duty of the Dark Angels; to hunt their fallen brothers and force them to

repent for their sins. They were all sworn to secrecy, only to pass on

the secrets to their chapter in whispers and tales of trechory.

 

When asked to name the new legion, Master Tigrarus chose to take the

name of the great predators of the planet of origin, and thus the Tigers

of Ravanont were born. The ranks of the tigers also took on new names as

the chapter advanced, taking after verious sub-species of the tigers.

Xiamen Tigrarus (the title named after a long extinct subspecies from

Holy Terra) was the first to train one of the massive jungle tigers,

naming his massive companion Rajah. The second companion he trained was

called Savanah and with them began the fellowships of man and tigers

within the Senjat ranks.

 

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~The Predators Rage~ (M37.317)

 

Though much of the tale of the origins of the predator's rage (a genetic

defect which turns the warriors who succum to it into bloot-thirsty

savage beasts) is speculation, there is one story that is the most

wide-spread belief.

 

Though the Senjat were not as zealous as many of the Dark Angels

successor chapters in hunting the fallen, there was one time in particular

where they took up the hunt and it cost them dearly.

 

When they were still a young chapter Xiamen Amur Tigrarus recieved word

from Grand Master Zadakiel that they believed there was a fallen Angel

somewhere on Ravanont, telling him too see out this fallen but not to

engage him, only to capture and hold him if given the chance. The young

Xiamen, still wishing to make a name for himself, did not heed the wise

Grand Master's warning and tried to engage, leading the eitirety of his

First and Second companies into battle. How quickly he learned this was

a grave mistake.

 

When he saw the tattered robe haanging off of the form of a large being,

him and his men charged and before they realized what was happening they

heard the bone chilling psykic scream; All is Dust. Psykic bolts punched

holes in his Bengali warriors, searing fire burned them alive and

lightning danced across their metal armour, zapping the men inside. It

was a bloody massacure. The formless entity that was once called Lucifer

was now a Daemon Prince of Tzeentch, weilding the powers of the God of

Change against his ancient foes. The Xiamen's forces were almost wipped

out before the powers stopped.

 

Zadakiel and his Deathwing came to their aid and, much to the surprise

of the Xiamen, they were accompanied by a small force od Sisters of

Battle, lead by Inquisitor Lord Dimitri VanMathiews. With the psykic

powers nullified the angels and sisters wiped out the remaining Thousand

Sons, though Lucifer escaped back into the warp. The Witch Hunters set

up a base on the nearby planet of Allados due to an increasing number of

similar attacks and Zadakiel scolded Tigrarus, demanding that he make it

right.

 

Amur Tigrarus knew what had to be done. Fearing another attack on his

planet from the Daemon Prince, Lucifer, he tasked his chief medicare

Telos to unlock the code of the Dark Angels gene seed and modify it to

make their soldiers stronger and faster like the predators whos name

they took. After decades of research and esperiments he found what he

believed to be the solution in one of the fallen tigers, the Felis Helix

gene, quite similar to the Canis Helix that is found in the Space Wolves.

It would also yeild similar effects, as those who couldn't control it

would hear the "Call of the Lion" a loud roar in their heads. If the man

wasn't strong enough of will he would become something more feral in

nature, lashing out with tooth and claw like the tigers they walked with,

and would afterwords be known as Tigerkin. It is said that the first to

fall to the Predator's Rage was Telos himself, though the trugh is

shrouded in speculation and burried in time, corroded frim millenia of

tellings.

 

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[Bjorn Firewalker]

Xiamen Tigrarus tasked his chief medicare, Telos, to unlock the code of the Dark Angels geneseed and modify it to make their soldiers stronger and faster like the predators whos name they took.

The Imperium does NOT have a good record with modified gene-seed, as the Lamenters learned "the hard way." Hell, even Primarchs are known to :) up, so the idea a mere Chapter Master thought he could make improvements, is a sure sign of hubris.

 

To NOT make Xiamen look like a pompous jackass, you should give him EXTREMELY desperate circumstances to make him to want stronger, faster Marines. Say... the Tigers equivalent of Deathwing were nearly exterminated when its "Fallen Angel" quarry was revealed to have ascended to the rank of Daemon Prince. Xiamen thinks the lesson learned is "What if the next Fallen Angel we seek, has become a Daemon Prince? We must become stronger and faster- to match the Warp-touched fiend blow for blow- or we'll be butchered like sheep!"

[Elias Tigris]

Thank you, I have gone back and added a bit to that section, hopefully it makes a bit more sense than Amur wanted his men to be stronger so he told someone to do it

[Bjorn Firewalker]

There are minor grammar and spelling errors, but you did a good job. I'm sorry if this seems like nitpicking, but can you explain WHY Lucifer would ally himself with the Thousand Sons? At least have Xiamen wonder "What the :( were Thousand Sons traitors doing on MY HOMEWORLD? And why the :cuss did a traitor to the Lion and the Dark Angels, ally with the Thousand Sons?"

[Elias Tigris]

Will get to that tomorrow probably, I'm doing most of my editing on the fly at work when I have time. Sorry for spelling mistakes, I am not good with spelling and am doing everything in notepad right now, which has no spell check. When I finish and hard copy this I'll get the spelling mistakes in Microsoft word, though it will kill my formatting its not a huge deal.

 

The planet one is a little easier, this planet is near Space Wolf space and would therefore be a stepping stone for the forces of the Thousand Sons to get back at their ancient enemy. The fallen saw the oppertunity to get back at his former chapter by taking out one of its successors and thus allied himself with the TSons, accepting the Lord of Change as his god, and through winning his favor becoming a daemon prince.

 

Hopefully that works for some clarification, if not I'll explain in greater detail later :huh:

 

*note* check the maps in the 4th edition rulebook or space marines codex, the Rock was very close to Fenris, it is one of the planets it nears in its rotations. Therefore at the time of the founding it makes sence that the Dark Angels would have been closest as their mobile fortress would be passing though space wolf space and would have been x distance closer, and also it is generally frowned upon to use the space wolf geneseed to create successors due to its instablities.

[Shinzaren]

Firstly, definitely an interesting entry. But why in the heck do you feel the need to overuse the enter key and make this weird narrow margined looking thing? Its actually easier to read if you just let the thing go and only use enter at the ends of paragraphs. It seems to be a trend lately, and I dunno if its just me, but I am not a huge fan of it ;) Having said all that, welcome to the Liber, and let's get cracking on this IA shall we? Sorry if I come across as harsh, I seem to do that without trying ;)

 

A remaining third of the planet is a wasteland of craters, areas where

the nearby Bravek Asteroid Belt lays waste for a month of the planetary

cycle.

 

How does the planet rotate so that only a third of the planet gets wasted as opposed to the whole thing. And if the meteors are large enough to actually impact on a regular basis, why hasn't a meteor large enough to cause an Armageddon scenario happened?

 

A good portion of the human population has adapted to living in the

trees, their mighty warriors often hunting the seemingly endless

populace of tigers that reside in the forests, creating warm blankets

and clothes from the tough hides that can stop many of the blades of the

hunters. From the strongest of these warriors come the mighty Tigers of

Ravanont.

 

A good portion? What happens to the rest of the human populace? How do they survive the deadly Tiger infested jungles? And if they can survive, this seems to me that they would be tougher than the tree dwellers, who are safer. Why wouldn't the Astartes recruit from them?

 

There are few not from Ravanont (and even few on the planet) who can

navigate the trecherous overgrown labyrynth that is the Senjat forest.

Deep within the predator infested forest lays four small bunkers. These

are the enterances to the Senjat Fortress; a massive underground

fortress that is the home of the Tigers of Ravanont (also know as the

Senjat). Each bunker is protected by two squads of Bengali warriors,

each a veteran who has voulenteered to protect the entrance of his home.

Their leader is one of the Xiamen, given the title of Master of the

Watch.

 

This is a sweet idea. I love the idea of a massive fortress hidden in the depths of a crazy jungle. Having said that, who are Bengali warriors? What is a Xiamen? Unique titles without explanation don't help. Is a Xiamen a standard chapter Captain?

 

Upon rediscovering of the planet of Ravanont, the Imperium heard of the

strong warriors. They established the Ravanont Dragoons division of the

Imperial Guard and it was decided that a portion of the men would form a

successor chapter of Space Marines. The legion who's warriors were

nearest to Ravanont were the sons of Lion El'Johnson, the Dark Angels,

so the Chapter Grand Master at the time, Zadakiel, was asked to supply

the new chapter with weapons, armour, and, most importantly, the gene

seed that would turn the men into Astartes.

 

I don't strictly know that proximity to the planet matters at all, since creating a Chapter requires far more than just some marines. Its a long process, and each chapter is created to serve a purpose. They aren't just established because a planet has hardy warriors. The Imperial Guard idea follows this, but not Adeptus Astartes. Secondly, Dark Angels are incredibly secretive and would mostly likely not be real high on the list of chapters chosen to make a new chapter.

 

When asked to name the new legion, Master Tigrarus chose to take the

name of the great predators of the planet of origin, and thus the Tigers

of Ravanont were born.

 

Avoid the word Legion, as it conjures up pre-Heresy stuff. Use Chapter instead.

 

Though much of the tale of the origins of the predator's rage (a genetic

defect which turns the warriors who succum to it into bloot-thirsty

savage beasts) is speculation, there is one story that is the most

wide-spread belief.

 

Umm, like the Flaw of the Blood Angels? That's all this paragraph says to me.

 

Though the Senjat were not as zealous as many of the Dark Angels

successor chapters in hunting the fallen, there was one time in particular

where they took up the hunt and it cost them dearly.

 

Why are they less zealous? Hatred of the Fallen is engraved into the very bones of the Dark Angels.

 

When they were still a young chapter Xiamen Amur Tigrarus recieved word

from Grand Master Zadakiel that they believed there was a fallen Angel

somewhere on Ravanont, telling him too seek out this fallen but not to

engage him, only to capture and hold him if given the chance.

 

What? How/why was a Fallen on this Deathworld Jungle? Secondly, how did the Dark Angels know? Deus Ex Fallen here. Its way too convenient. Fallen HAPPENS to be on the Astartes world of a chapter that HAPPENS to know all about them?

 

When he saw the tattered robe haanging off of the form of a large being,

him and his men charged and before they realized what was happening they

heard the bone chilling psykic scream; All is Dust. Psykic bolts punched

holes in his Bengali warriors, searing fire burned them alive and

lightning danced across their metal armour, zapping the men inside. It

was a bloody massacure. The formless entity that was once called Lucifer

was now a Daemon Prince of Tzeentch, weilding the powers of the God of

Change against his ancient foes. The Xiamen's forces were almost wipped

out before the powers stopped.

 

Seriously? The Fallen is a Demon Prince? Who just happened to show up on your Homeworld?

 

Zadakiel and his Deathwing came to their aid and, much to the surprise

of the Xiamen, they were accompanied by a small force od Sisters of

Battle, lead by Inquisitor Lord Dimitri VanMathiews.

 

Uh, DA working with the Inquisition? That's about as likely as them working with the Fallen. They don't want anyone to know of their secret shame, especially the Inquisition.

 

With the psykic powers nullified the angels and sisters wiped out the remaining Thousand

Sons, though Lucifer escaped back into the warp. The Witch Hunters set

up a base on the nearby planet of Allados due to an increasing number of

similar attacks and Zadakiel scolded Tigrarus, demanding that he make it

right.

 

Multiple issues here.

1.) How did they nullify the Psychic Powers? Did they bring a bunch of Culexes Assassins?

2.) Why would the DA and the Tigers allow the SoB to set up a base so close to theirs, especially given their extremely secretive nature, and unwillingness to work with the Inquisition?

3.) Why does Zadakiel get to scold Tigrarus? As they are both Chapter Masters, they wield equal power and authority. While Zadakiel technically holds more sway as the leader of the Unforgiven, and as master of the DA, it still doesn't sit right with me for him to be scolding Tigrarus like a little schoolboy.

 

 

Amur Tigrarus knew what had to be done. Fearing another attack on his

planet from the Daemon Prince, Lucifer, he tasked his chief medicare

Telos to unlock the code of the Dark Angels gene seed and modify it to

make their soldiers stronger and faster like the predators whos name

they took.

 

Their circumstances are not NEARLY bleak enough for him to go tampering with the sacred gene-seed of Lion El'Johnson. That is taboo upon taboo, as you are saying you can improve upon the works of the Emperor and the Lion. This is very implausible.

 

After decades of research and esperiments he found what he

believed to be the solution in one of the fallen tigers, the Felis Helix

gene, quite similar to the Canis Helix that is found in the Space Wolves.

 

Felis Helix? Seriously? That is, by your own admission, a straight rip from the Space Wolves. The Canis Helix doesn't unlock the full potential of the gene-seed and unleash dormant powers that turn Space Marines into Super Space Marines. It is simply the activator for the Space Wolves gene-seed as a whole, enabling them to control all their organs and upgrades. Because of the mutation and instability of the Wolves, the Wulfen transformation happens. The Dark Angels don't have this, because they have their own method of activating/unlocking their gene-seed. I dunno what it is, but they have one, just like the Blood Angels have the Insanguination.

 

It would also yeild similar effects, as those who couldn't control it

would hear the "Call of the Lion" a loud roar in their heads. If the man

wasn't strong enough of will he would become something more feral in

nature, lashing out with tooth and claw like the tigers they walked with,

and would afterwords be known as Tigerkin.

 

Maybe its just me, but this whole unlocking the gene-seed, Tigerkin idea seems kinda strange, and as a reader, I don't buy into it. I think your chapter can find other reasons/ways to go into a bloodlust without copying both the Blood Angels Black Rage, and the Wolves Curse of the Wulfen.

 

Overall the IA is good, with a strong start in the Homeworld and Origins aspects. However, making them DA Successors, having a Fallen mysteriously appear on a planet capable of recognizing the Fallen, getting the DA in bed with the Inquisition, and unlocking the Gene-seed, all seem to fall short a bit. They can all work, if properly explained, reasoned, and written well, but right now they need work. Lots of minor spelling and grammar missteps, as well as the whole formatting issue with constantly silly use of the Enter Key. That aside, it definitely shows promise, and I hope you stick with it and iron out all the issues.

 

Sorry if that seemed harsh, not my intent. Welcome to the Liber and good luck making your IA as good as it can be! :)

[Elias Tigris]

As I don\t have enough time before work to answer each individual point I will say that most of the base of what I am doing here is from the space wolf codex. Its not a direct rip off but in order to field an army that is playable and people won't be like, What O,o? it works quite well. They are not a space wolf sub-chapter for the reasons that the space wolf gene-seed is considered tainted and is rarely used to make warriors.

 

The remainder of the human populace does live on either the forest floor or within the fortress (though these are generally servents in the fortress). The ones on the floor are elusive and generally also more feral in nature. Not necessarily the most seeked out by the imperium to becoem Astartes as they would probably prefer warriors who are strong minded. This could possibly be another way to explain the Tigerkin instead of using the geneseed though I'm not too sure if thats what I want to do yet or if I would rather use them as the mighty Hunters (lone wolves) of the chapter.

 

I will be changing the asteroid thing, it doesn't make sence looking back at it. I don't want this to sound like pre heresy Caliban or Catachan, so I tried to change it up a bit.

 

Titles are coming next :) The Xiamen is the equivilant of a Master (company or chapter master) Bengali are the elites, like the Deathwing or in the case of this army more like the Wolf Guard of the Space Wolves or Chosen of Chaos. As the squads are based off of Space Wolves we have the Corbetti or Grey Hunters, Bali or Blood Pack, Malayan or Scouts, The Keeper of the Faith is the Wolf Priest, I'm still working on the others, like the Rune Priest, Long Fangs and Sky Claws.

 

Reason I chose the Dark Angels as the father chapter for the Tigers was the fact that I know them better than any chapter, as I have been playing them for about 7 years. I will try to come up with a perfectly reasonable explination why they chose the Dark Angels and perhaps even how the Darker and more feral side of Johnson contributed to the Predators Rage, instead of it sounding like the Blood Angels or Space Wolves.

 

My apoligies for using the word Legion, I'm used to writing pre-heresy stuff and have ben rather stuck on it since I started reading the Horus Heresy series >.> When I go back and add new things I'll be sure to fix this.

 

 

The reason they're not as zelous is going to come up later. When they started out they were a more or less zelous chapter, then the relationship between the two chapters became more strained due to arguements between Zadakiel, tired of Tigrarus' hot-headedness and brutal tactless assults, and Tigrarus, tred of Zadakiel treating him as though he knew how best to run his legion. The scoulding was due to Tigrarus not only rushing in and not listening, but forcing his hand in allying with one of the people he wished never to ally with, the Inquisitor.

 

The Fallen allies himself with the Thousand Sons who are taking the planets in the proximity of Fenris (I believe if you've read the Ragnar series at the end of the one with the Dark Angels and Space Wolves it says theres a burning eye with points pointing to each of the key planets around Fenris) This explains why there are on Ravanont. Wishing to exact revenge on his ancient enemy by taking out one of its young subchapters, Lucifer allies himself with the God of Change, giving himself to him completely and allowing the god to take him as a host. Though the idea of him being a daemon prince may still seem a little far fetched it was a suggestion I took.

 

There are witch hunter units that are able to nullify psykic powers that they generally take with them, not to mention the inquisitor himself is generaly quite good at making psykic powers useless. The reason they were in this area of space was due to a surge in psykic power and warp activity coming from the area, where there is a rift in the Warp. Them setting up base on a planet nearby isn't overly farfetched because it would give them a chance to monitor things. The Dark Angels, Tigers, and Space Wolves would all probably not be that happy about this, but there wouldn't be much they could do without looking suspicious, which the Dark Angels and Space Wolves are already under suspicion.

 

The scale of the loss on the new chapter was devestation, though not terrible it gave the basically newly appointed leader of the army what he believed was a reason to make his army need to be stronger. The medicare messed up in his work, an you know the rest. It creates their equivilent to Wulfen, not Death Company. This has nothing to do with Blood Angels. The Felis Helix was a suggestion from a friend, when I was trying to think of a way to explain how they would get something like that. It seemed like it would work and thus I rolled with it. I have suggested a couple of things earlier that I may change so it would seem more like a natural thing than the effect of the Red Thirst or the Wolfen Curse.

 

Spelling mistakes and formatting issues can be summed up here:

"Sorry for spelling mistakes, I am not good with spelling and am doing everything in notepad right now, which has no spell check. When I finish and hard copy this I'll get the spelling mistakes in Microsoft word, though it will kill my formatting its not a huge deal."

 

I will encorperate any changes that I do in my next update of this, along with my squad names and meanings. Playing them allied with Dark Angels against Space Wolves and Tau (which we will be making bac story for when we start) tomorrow for a historical battle. Hoping I don't lose >.>

 

Thank you for your comments, it may seem like I don't appreciate them with all of my comebacks or whatever but I really do, they made me think and further explain myself, which is never a bad thing

[Shinzaren]

Ok, so most of your explanations make sense now. Without them in the main post, the reader has no idea what you are trying to convey, or why you are doing these things. Just gotta work those explanations into the IA itself.