IA: Scimitar Knights

[Luy22]

Scimitar Knights

About the author

Luy22 is but a member of this forum, and has been for a few years. He is a writer, but as of late, has been losing his ability to write... Doing his best to hold onto it.

W

ithin the depths of the eastern edges of the galaxy, we are beset by mostly xenos. The technologically-advanced Tau Empire. The dim-witted Ork pirates. Dark Eldar raids. Tyranid infestations. On the edge of the Tau third sphere expansion lies the Talko and Arbiter systems. Within these systems are the Scimitar Knights chapter.

A Codex Adherent Chapter. Not very well-known. Their homeworld is Arbiter. They are of the 26th founding. They operate almost exactly like their parent chapter, the Ultramarines, save for the fact most of them prefer close combat, and they train in the usage of scimitars. This is good as they are at war with the Tau Empire, and with the Tau being weak at close combat, it is a plus for the Knights. They make excellent use of Assault Squads.

History

Scimitar Knights
The Chapter Master, Brutus Septim, was the first Scimitar Knight to set foot on the planet. He was a force commander of the Ultramarines, and was tasked with training the fledgling chapter. He became Chapter Master, and now resides within the Fortress Monastery.

Homeworld
Arbiter is an ocean world. Immediately they set out with an exploratory team of techmarines and scouts, and they had found a place on a rocky island to construct a new fortress monastery. Within weeks of construction, they were attacked by a horde of Orks, but they quickly repelled the invaders. They were aided by local tribesmen from a nearby island chain. These islanders would become recruits later on.

The Fal system is made up of four planets.

Arbiter, the homeworld of the Scimitar Knights.

Barren, the capitol world, covered in hive spires and city.

The planet of Trax was once a civilized world covered in farmland, cities, and villages. All that changed during the age of strife when Orks bombarded it to the point where the whole planet became a post-apocalyptic wasteland, with the cities empty, all crops dead, and the majority of land barren, desert waste. Of course, it makes hardy warriors. The people of this planet roam it in nomadic tribes all mounted in vehicles. It are these people who become the pilots of the chapter.

The border wars

"There are dark days ahead of us..." ~ Brutus Septim, on the war with the Tau

Currently the Scimitar Knights are combating the Tau in the nearby Talko system.

http://usera.imagecave.com/Luy22/BF.jpg

Standard heraldry

Recruitment

They recruit from the local tribes of the planet Arbiter. A group of marines go by Thunderhawk into the continent known as Furio. Furio is a vast savanna, and the planet's only continent. It used to hold an empire during the age of strife, but the empire has long-since fallen, and the people have become savanna-wandering nomadic warrior tribes.

The aspirants (age 10) are then taken to the Tower of Blades where they will undergo training with the use of the scimitar. This continues, alongside learning the chapter history and history of the Imperium, and of what enemies to hate and who the allies are. This is also the period where phases 1-3 of implanting occurs. Once this is done, the aspirants are usually 14 years of age. They are skilled in the ways of close-combat. They are given bolt pistols, and trained in the art of ranged combat. At the same time, phases 4 and 5 of the implant process happens. Then they go through the hypnotherapy all initiates use.

They continue their regular training, staying at the chapter barracks in-between training sessions to connect with their brothers. They are continued to go through the rest of the implantation process up to phase 19. Then they receive Progenoids and the black carapace.

Once at age 17, they are taken to the real proving grounds. The Shark Trench is a long canyon full of sharks, and other dangers. The aspirants are given bolt pistols, scimitars, and leather armor, and are installed in one point. they are to make it through the trench and through miles of jungle and volcanic island to a Chapter Outpost on the opposite side.

Once they make it to the outpost, they are accepted into the chapter as scouts marines.


Geneseed: Ultramarines.

Tower of Blades

The Fortress Monastery (Also known as the Tower of Blades) of the Scimitar Knights is built into a rocky island in the eastern hemisphere of Arbiter. From the outside, it resembles a large castle rising up into the sky, waves crashing against its lower levels. It is one large tower with many smaller spires branching out over the searocks surrounding the island. Some areas of the Tower of Blades are completely submerged beneath the waves. There are barracks, training grounds, offices, a hanger bay, armories, and the gene-seed vault. It has everything to accommodate a chapter.

Symbol: A scimitar sword on the left shoulderpad. Marines wielding flamers have flames painted on their right shoulderpads.
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Battlecry

Let your steel blind the enemy!

[StGene]

In my opinion, this is one of the best Chapter ideas I've seen in a while. You start out with a simple, yet unique trait (their scimitars), allowing you room to grow. Your Chapter is Codex adherent and is descended from the Ultramarines, traits which are supposedly common in the Imperium yet strangely scarce in the Liber Astartes. Your Chapter is based on the Eastern Fringe, currently one of the most dangerous places in the Imperium what with Tyranids, Orks, Tau, Eldar, rebellious worlds and the occasional Chaos incursion all being thrown into the same area. This provides plenty of opportunities for epic and decisive battles worthy of the Space Marines. However, there are some things that need fixing.

 

"Five years later, the Rogue Trader was slain by Orks, along with every other colonist."

Just some grammar.

"The Ultramarines went in, and purged the world of the Ork infestation."

The Ultras purged one world, so there's only one infestation.

"After a year, the entire Chapter was operational and recruited from all nearby worlds of the Ith system. "

I would check the practicality of that statement. One year to get a whole Chapter up and running, especially on the Eastern Fringe, seems a little fast to me.

"Orks invaded the system once more, led by the same boss."

The same boss? The same boss who did what? Be specific, and give him a name as well. This is the guy (well, xeno) who costs your Chapter their entire homeworld. His name's going to be burned in their memory for a long time.

"The boss committed exterminatus on the planet, using virus bombs stolen from a forge world they had sacked within the Talko system, several systems over."

Lolwut? Ever heard of an Ork Warboss who'd rather sit in orbit and bomb his enemy rather than fight his enemy face-to-face? Highly unlikely (especially since most Orks LOVE fighting Space Marines). I would advise using the Tyranids instead of the Orks. They warrant an Exterminatus more often than Orks do.

"The system had been lost and now it was just survival and a last stand."

No such thing with Exterminatus. That being said, Orks could possibly screw up a virus-bombing.

"More recently, they have come across a marine known as Kitsune, of the Legio Bolter and Chainsword, his entire chapter and system was overrun by Tau and then Orks."

Change the name to something less cheesy. Anyone who has read/watched Naruto will roll their eyes when they read that. Possible ideas: Japanese Clans

"The Scimitar Knights are now doing all they can in order to kill this ethereal who has already taken five worlds to their xenos empire."

NAME HIM.

"From imperial worlds, PDF soldiers."

Nope. Recruits for the Chapter have to be around 10-14 years old (Creation of a Space Marine), and thus can't recruit from PDF. Probitors? Yes. Full grown men? No.

[Ferrata]

The problem of founding a chapter for the growing threat in the Eastern Fringe is that all the latest threats date after the latest founding. During the 26th Founding, it is about five years before the Tyranids appear and the Imperium will shortly send a crusade against the T'au - it would make more sense for the chapter to be heading else were and rerouted to the Eastern Fringe because of these attacks.

 

The chapter seems to be lacking in character at the moment; and that doesn't mean anything funky or special but something that makes them human ironically. Are they sword-fanatics, do they want to purge to stars now, etc.

 

I don't see the relevence of the Legio character, which chapter was destroyed? Why is he hanging out with the Knights? Why do they let him lead their missions?

[Luy22]

In my opinion, this is one of the best Chapter ideas I've seen in a while. You start out with a simple, yet unique trait (their scimitars), allowing you room to grow. Your Chapter is Codex adherent and is descended from the Ultramarines, traits which are supposedly common in the Imperium yet strangely scarce in the Liber Astartes. Your Chapter is based on the Eastern Fringe, currently one of the most dangerous places in the Imperium what with Tyranids, Orks, Tau, Eldar, rebellious worlds and the occasional Chaos incursion all being thrown into the same area. This provides plenty of opportunities for epic and decisive battles worthy of the Space Marines. However, there are some things that need fixing.

 

"Five years later, the Rogue Trader was slain by Orks, along with every other colonist."

Just some grammar.

"The Ultramarines went in, and purged the world of the Ork infestation."

The Ultras purged one world, so there's only one infestation.

"After a year, the entire Chapter was operational and recruited from all nearby worlds of the Ith system. "

I would check the practicality of that statement. One year to get a whole Chapter up and running, especially on the Eastern Fringe, seems a little fast to me.

"Orks invaded the system once more, led by the same boss."

The same boss? The same boss who did what? Be specific, and give him a name as well. This is the guy (well, xeno) who costs your Chapter their entire homeworld. His name's going to be burned in their memory for a long time.

"The boss committed exterminatus on the planet, using virus bombs stolen from a forge world they had sacked within the Talko system, several systems over."

Lolwut? Ever heard of an Ork Warboss who'd rather sit in orbit and bomb his enemy rather than fight his enemy face-to-face? Highly unlikely (especially since most Orks LOVE fighting Space Marines). I would advise using the Tyranids instead of the Orks. They warrant an Exterminatus more often than Orks do.

"The system had been lost and now it was just survival and a last stand."

No such thing with Exterminatus. That being said, Orks could possibly screw up a virus-bombing.

"More recently, they have come across a marine known as Kitsune, of the Legio Bolter and Chainsword, his entire chapter and system was overrun by Tau and then Orks."

Change the name to something less cheesy. Anyone who has read/watched Naruto will roll their eyes when they read that. Possible ideas: Japanese Clans

"The Scimitar Knights are now doing all they can in order to kill this ethereal who has already taken five worlds to their xenos empire."

NAME HIM.

"From imperial worlds, PDF soldiers."

Nope. Recruits for the Chapter have to be around 10-14 years old (Creation of a Space Marine), and thus can't recruit from PDF. Probitors? Yes. Full grown men? No.

 

Will edit soon. Can't type much as I've got wrist problems. On the Kitsune thing, I should state now, I hate Naruto with a passion (I like anime, but that has to be at the top of my hate list). I had a chapter that I had help building on the Tau Online forums a long time ago called the Burning Kitsunes, as guessed, based on Japanese folklore. The whole chapter was destroyed a year ago, and Kitsune (not being the marine's real name) has taken up his name to honor his fallen battle brothers.

 

Anyways, thanks for crit and will fix asap.

[Luy22]

Edited it... Anyone else notice any problems?

[The Normish]

It's a nice concept, but I would recommend you read the Guide to DIYing in order to structure the IA so you can expand and keep people comfortable (we all like things that look uniform, right?). I like how you have a simple Chapter. It has a clear, interesting purpose, and isn't crazy awesome or anything like that. I also love how you've connected the Chapter to the Legio, more people should do that.

One criticism is that your sentences sometime seem a little awkward. Like the section about Tyranids. you also have a few spelling errors throughout, probably just typographical errors that always arise when typing such long articles (Emperor knows I have my fair share).

[Luy22]

Cassius Sindrus of the Legio bolter and chainsword has proved himself yet again by taking out (single-handedly) a crisis battlesuit of the Tau, after it had massacred his entire kill team of battle brothers. Cassius blazed with his boltgun, and shot the xenos down.

 

Cassius is probably the luckiest marine I have.

[Ace Debonair]

Quick question.

If the Orks had wiped out all of the colonists on Ith, and there are worlds nearby you can recruit from, why would the Scimitar Knights set up their headquarters on Ith, instead of one of the other worlds?

 

Not a bad start at all, though I second Normish's reccomendation of the DIY guide at the top of the forum. It's a heck of a read. :huh:

[Chapter Master Ignis Domus]

I third the recommendation for the Guide to DIYing and furthermore recommend Octavulg's Octaguide 2.0. I really like this idea and think that this is going to be a great IA. You don't overdo it, but nor are they to bland. One question, though. I don't really get why the Legio guy is there.

[Luy22]

I'll edit it all and read this guide. Thanks for the input.

[Ecritter]

Welcome to the Liber. First read the guides ... they really help out alot. Here is the C&C I have so far.

 

A Codex Adherent Chapter. Not very well-known. Their homeworld is Arbiter V. They are apart of the 26th founding.

 

Opening should draw the reader in and make them want to read more. This does not.

 

Along with being at war with the Tau Empire, they have a few Ordo Xenos inquisitors with them. A laboratory was constructed on Arbiter V, so that the Ordo Xenos could further explore the Tau. Most corpses are sent here.

 

First why are there Inquisitors with them?

 

Second, this is an odd assortment of facts. Paragraphs should flow.

 

 

The Arbiter system is made up of four planets. Arbiter V, the homeworld of the Scimitar Knights. Barren, the capitol, covered in hive spires and city. The planet of Trax was once a civilized world covered in farmland, cities, and villages. All that changed during the age of strife when Orks bombarded it to the point where the whole planet became a post-apocalyptic wasteland, with the cities empty, all crops dead, and the majority of land barren, desert waste. Of course, it makes hardy warriors. The people of this planet roam it in nomadic tribes all mounted in vehicles. It are these people who become the pilots of the chapter. Then there is Oovo VI, a space station built into an asteroid belt. Lots of people live here, and it is here where most battles with the Tau have been.

 

Ocean Hive World?

 

Odd naming of the planets. Arbiter system .. four planets, yet Homeworld is Arbiter 5? Other planets aren't Arbiter 1-4? Why is Oovo VI .. where was Oovo 1-3?

 

Currently the Scimitar Knights are combating the Tau, fighting along the borders of the alien empire. They are pounding their way through the Talko system, which was completely overrun by the xenos. Originally, the Tau meant no harm, this cadre being "peaceful". They landed on the hive world of Barren expecting the Imperials to willingly hand over the system. After a short argument, the Ethereal was captured, the landing party was butchered and sent off with Ordo Xenos, and thus began the border wars. A Tau fleet flew into the Arbiter system and engaged the Scimitar Knight's fleet, along with the defending Battlefleet Arbiter. Eventually, the Tau retreated into the Talko system several sectors away, of which they had fully conquered to their will.

 

Several comments and questions here.

 

Barren needs a new name.

 

Butchered and sent off ... so they sent the dead bodies?

 

Battlefleet Arbiter .... never heard of them and you never mentioned them before.

 

They recruit from the local planets in the Arbiter system. From Arbiter V they recruit local islander warrior tribesmen. From the desert world of Trax they recruit wasteland nomadic warriors. From the Hive World of Barren they take in nobles and gangers.

 

Recruits are preteens ... nomadic warriors maybe, but preteen gangsters (misspelled in yours by the way)?

 

They use the next few weeks to ween out the strong from the weak. This is done with grueling training. Once this is done after three weeks, they are brought to the Historium within the Fortress Monastery to learn the history of their chapter and the Imperium. They want all recruits to be intelligent with brains as much they can along with being strong.

 

Making a SM takes around 10 years, not a few weeks.

 

Now they are taken to the Shark Canyon, a deep canyon on the western side on a massive tropical island on the eastern side of Arbiter V. It is full of Dren Sharks, horrific beasts with pincer claws, razor-sharp teeth and tentacles. They are put in squads and given combat shotguns, pistols and scimitars, and are installed on one end of the canyon. once they make it to the other side, they must make their way through the dense jungles and volcanic areas of the island and reach the Scimitar Knight outpost on the opposite side.

 

Your forgot that they fart fire. May want to tone them down a bit.

 

Once they complete this task, which can take from a week to a month, they are taken into the catacombs of the monastery, where they will learn from the Blademaster in the use of the scimitar. Throughout this part of the training they are given the implants and extra organs, and are finally made into space marine. They would now become scouts, and sent on their first missions as guards or aiding Arbites on Barren. After a month they are sent out into battle with their brothers, and after three battles, are made into full battle-brothers.

 

So ... you gave them scimitars to fight the horrid beasts. Now if they survive, you're gonna teach them how to use them?

 

With blades take them down.

 

battlecries are yelled ... yes yelled to work up the troops before combat. Would this inspire you?

[Luy22]

Alright edited it a bit more. I like the name Barren, I couldn't think of anything else. I think it sounds good enough.

[Ecritter]

I suggest you also read this article on the Creation of a Space Marine.

 

Oh and systems are named after stars not planets. Thus we live in the Solar system or the system around the star Sol.

[Luy22]

I suggest you also read this article on the Creation of a Space Marine.

 

Oh and systems are named after stars not planets. Thus we live in the Solar system or the system around the star Sol.

 

Oh. Well I learned something new today. Thank you. This'll help alot. I intend of bending and breaking this until it's accepted by everyone. :tu: