archangel's prolouge 3

[bloodred0114]

The sensation of falling, the one thing that remained to tell him his body yet lived in the mortal realm, the twin sensations of pain and anguish, the only feeling he had felt for centuries. Then the crash, the sensation of falling stopping abruptly as his body hits the hardened Ferrocrete surface of the city twenty stories below. The urban streetscape of the planets capital city in ruins around him Astraman of the Word Bearers legion climbs out of the crater crated by his hulking and falling form. Raising his head to the sky a cruel sound escapes from the vox speakers on his helmet, a high pitched screaming laugh that continues to grow louder as the hulking behemoth stands unhindered by the battle around him.

Then from the corner of his eye a black form emblazoned with gold around his shoulders, standing as tall as Astraman himself strides forth. In one fell blow taking Astraman’s head from his shoulders. “Marines, stand your ground. In his holy beneficents do we find our strength. We are his sword, His shield, his fallen wing, we are his Archangels!” boomed the voice of the victorious space marine. “In his name, we go to battle, Archangels, Charge!” The victor swept his blade round to face the enemy and ran at full speed towards them followed by many marines in the same color and design, sharing the same symbols and numbers in the same places. One symbol stood out from the others though. A sword with one black wing attached at its hilt with the visage of Tera in the background. The symbol was the chapter marker of the Archangels space marines, loyal servants of the emperor of mankind.

The victor led the space marines through street after street of bloody conflict. The word Bearers not giving ground accept at the cost of many loyal imperial lives, the striding avatars of imperial might however did not stop at the loss of their brothers lives. The colossal shadows they cast walking through the city streets became fewer and fewer as they grew closer to the center of the city and its spaceport escape. “Brother Minear close with the enemy to the left and cut them off. Brother Rantarman take your squad off to the right and open us a path farther along to the next crossroads.” Boomed the victorious gore covered champion of the Archangels, over the sounds of the battle on all sides.

His gorget displayed his name to be Marcus Trell captain of the Archangels tenth company. A heroic leader from a time far in the past to most mortal humans, but he was a space marine an avatar and demy-god in his own right, created to last centuries in battle. But as brother Manart was killed beside him Marcus remembered that he was still not invincible, only nearly so. He had started this mission with a full company of marines, now he had only a small twenty man mixed team left at his command.

As was the case he knew this was his companys last stand, however if they were to die here they would not sell their lives cheaply. “My brothers rally around me to fight this chaos menace. We will fight for the emperor this day, and we will be with him throughout time forever being reincarnated through our future battle brothers. We are his sword, his shield, his fallen wing, we are his Archangels. Go forth and kill the dammed heretics that besiege us in this once glorious city kill them all.”

Marcus raised his power sword up to the sky as the company standard was raised beside him, its gore covered surface gleaming in the light from the matching red sun as it sank lower into the sky. The first of the new wave of chaos marines rushed from a building off to his left, swinging a chain ax over his head and spiting in a demonic tongue, the spiked figure raced towards the captain. As the chaos marine grew closer Marcus lunged with his own blade stabbing the chaos thing through. Black oily blood sprayed forth from the dammed marines’ chest as it fell farther onto the blade. Marcus felt a rushing of air from behind him accompanied by the sound of a heavy bolter firing as brother Klaus opened up with his heavy weapon.

The firing stopped abruptly however as a hulking chaos obliterator attacked him from behind, separating the marines head form his shoulders. The chaos abomination cackled and took a step forward toward Marcus. The captain wrenched his power sword free of the corpse it had become entangled in and swung it round. He took the chaos obliterator on its left shoulder and bisected it on a line down to its right hip. The thing groaned with surprise and fell in two stinking pieces to the ground. Marcus looked up from the carnage of battle around him, it seemed that a squad of chaos obliterators had materialized from nowhere, taking his squad asunder. Muttering under his breath Marcus took the next obliterator in the squad and ripped an arm from its massively mutated frame. The thing grunted in pain as its arm was ripped from the socket. The thing turned to face Marcus but as it did so a chainsword was run through its abdomen by battle brother Clamentes. The veteran that was a specialist in close combat, as he proved now fending off two obliterators even as he stabbed the third.

Marcus continued to stride forward with the confidence born from the countless years of his service. He was completely at ease in any combat situation as were the brothers under his command. While in combat they moved with the fluidity of trained dancers not the two-ton behemoths they were while in full armor.

Suddenly form the cracked and mangled buildings to the left of the remaining marines came a sound so unholy that it made some of Marcus’s men convulse in pain. A six legged behemoth strode out from the fake front of the buildings tearing his squad asunder. The scything talons on the things legs took five marines with such speed that even Marcus’s enhanced vision could not see them moving. Brother Tradarian of the librarium sent lightning from his hand coursing through the mechanisms of the thing until he was wiped away in a cloud of dust and blood as the gargantuan construction of cremite and skin fired its main cannon. Battle brother Clamint was the next to fall to the talons of the great defiler in their midst but not before he placed a well aimed rocket into the things demented “face”. The chaos creation however was not fazed by the explosion and continued on with its killing. However Marcus’s men had now become so few that the chaos thing was now also attacking its own just to sachiate its bloodlust. As a final parting gift Clamint had left a krak grenade on the things head, the things head imploded with the force put on it from the krak grenades blast. Its behemoth body crashed to the street motionless and dead. Marcus looked around at the bodies in the street. He was the last Archangel standing alone in the street and without any help to be seen or heard, he knew he was going to die, so in his final moments he decided that he would take as many of the chaos marines with him as he could. Unsheathing his second sword and powering it up he charged into the remaining chaos forces and let the rage coursing through his blood take over.

 

 

Three days later Marcus stood on a hill overlooking the blasted and burnt out city, he smiled at the flag that now fluttered over the spaceport. The twin headed eagle of the inperium once again flew over the governor’s mansion. As he turned he looked apon the approaching thunderhawk gunship he waved to it knowing it was from his own chapter and from his ship waiting in orbit around the planet. As the gunship powered down into its landing sequence Marcus strode towards it, the giant ramp started to lower in front of Marcus. As he approached a single shot rang out from the distance. Marcus turned to discern its source, his head exploded in a fountain of blood and gore. The pilot of the thunderhawk started up into the sky again seeing the captions body hit the ground but it to explode from a well placed rocket round. A single figure in stark white armor strode up the hill. He looked at what remained of the captions prone form and placed his bolt pistol away. He removed his helmet to show a cracked and grizzled face with an eight pointed star on his forehead. He again regarded the prone form of the loyalist space marine on the ground smiled.

He started to turn and walk away, but turned again as if forgetting something he once again regarded the prone form this time taking the time to spit an acidic goblet of phlegm on the dead marine. Replacing his helmet he walked from the hill.

[bloodred0114]

please I need some comments so I can make this better

[bloodred0114]

please help

[bloodred0114]

someone please post!!!!!! :)

[BassWave]

Sorry, I rolled bad on my reserve rolls :) Joking aside though I thought it was a good read. One thing I would do is make indentions at the start of the the paragraphs or just make a space between them. Its kinda hard to read when it looks like a wall of text :( Other than that though I thought it was good :)

[bloodred0114]

sorry I tryed but for some reason or another I could not do it when I coppy pasted it over from word :rolleyes: but thank you for the reply