IA: Headhunters

[mrun0riginal]

This is a WIP, I'm sure there are things that will need changing, and I'd like C&C on what I have so far:

 

The Headhunters

 

http://i407.photobucket.com/albums/pp155/drun0riginal/headhunter.jpg

 

http://i407.photobucket.com/albums/pp155/drun0riginal/headhunterlogo.jpg

 

General Ekkehardt Von Bersun smiled, flanked by his retinue. The final victories of his coup de état were in progress. He stood atop his ‘liberated’ Baneblade, surveying the massacre of loyalist troops. The war had been tough, but he had won. He looked at the display. He shall be Lord-General of Rathis VIII now.

Suddenly, one of his veterans fell. He looked to him, to find he had no head. The shot had pierced his neck, the ensuing explosive charge ripping head from body.

The rest of his squad toppled, decapitated by gunfire. Not even the grizzled fighters of his retinue could survive bolters The General blanched, scrambling back to the safety of his baneblade. The only rounds that did that were...

A space marine stood before him. Two and a half metres tall, the avatar of war dwarfed the general, even in the armour of a simple scout. He held a pair of knives. They flashed in the pale sunlight.

Before the general had reacted, his head had been sliced away by a deft cut with a monomolecular edge. The scout held the head aloft by its hair, the shock of the general permanently etched onto his dead face. Removing a black bag, the head was placed within. It would take its place in the hall of skulls. It was not of note enough to be added to the grand walkway on Chaaya.

As if by signal, once the head was placed in the bag, space marines in black and grey armour with helmets of white advanced on the army of the late general. Within hours, the grand rebellion was quelled, the armies of the mad general decimated in slaughter of unparalleled ferocity.

 

 

 

Origins

 

The Headhunters were formed during the 6th founding, from the geeneseed of Jaghatai Khan. Their geeneseed and founding brothers were drawn from the white scars themselves, from warriors of the 6th company, something the Headhunters hold as a great honour.

 

Chaaya, a feral world, was chosen by the Adeptus terra because of the ferocity of the tribes that inhabited, initially drawing from the Vibhu, the largest and most powerful clan. The clans' similarity to the tribes of mundus planus, in their love of mounted warfare and nomadic lifestyle appealed to the white scars, who embraced their brethren, teaching them the art of war. Like the white scars, the bear-riding people of the Vibhu took to mounted warfare like a fish to water. All brothers were mounted on a bike, their lightning raids decimating enemy battle lines as they rushed for the command structure of the opposing force, removing the head from the body.

 

The first incidents of the chapter's preference for head hunting came when natives joined the ranks to make full companies. On an early mission against a large traitor uprising, the white scar 'overseers' found a large amount of corpses slain by their adopted chapter had been decapitated, and of the heads, there were no sign. They also noted that only enemies with rank, or more mutated than others, were the only ones with heads taken. Many of the battle brothers had taken the heads as prizes, as they would have done as tribes people. The white scars allowed this, feeling kinship with their own traditions of hunting the heads of enemies. One large chamber within the fortress monastery became the 'hall of skulls', an area where the heads of worthy enemies rested, their names etched into a small plaque on their forehead. If the foe was a great enemy of the chapter, it dipped in palladium from Chaaya's abundant mines, placed upon a pike, and their name etched into the forehead, the name of the killer etched along the jawline. These skulls lined the walkway to the fortress monastery.

 

 

Homeworld

 

The Headhunters are drawn from the temperate world of Chaaya, a feral world of plains, forests, and convoluted labyrinthes of valleys. The grassy, rolling landscape lends itself to mounted warfare, practiced by the great tribes that hold sway over the planet. 6 Great clans fight constantly for supremacy over their swathes of land, territories waxing and waning. Any other tribe to attempt to rise has been stamped out, or merged under the banner of one of the ‘amara’, leaders of the six great clans.

 

Life on Chaaya is ferocious. Once born, a child is left for over ten hours a day alone, fending for itself, to build strength and the powerful sense of independence that every Chaayan holds burning in their heart. Once they can walk, they are paired with an Aaruh, a large, bear like creature, as almost as tall as an astartes at the shoulder, and taught to ride it, building a relationship with the animal, that, unlike most beasts, will live for decades, as long as the humans of Chaaya. As soon as they are deemed competent, the children enter the ritual to become warriors.

 

Each ritual is slightly different between tribes. In all however, one aspirant must kill the other. This drives home the fact that a clan member must do anything to protect the tribe. Whatever the cost. Once the aspirant has passed the ritualised murder, for that is what it is, he is allowed to be marked in the tattoos of his tribe, each set unique to the wearer. The amount of tattoos grows with the skill a warrior shows in battle, the legendary Amaras of each clan seeming to have midnight skin, they are so covered with tattoos.

 

It would be foolish to presume a planet is dominated by one topographical feature. Though primarily plains, Chaaya is also home to patches of dense woodland, and geologically stunning valley and cave systems, convoluted like a knot in the earth.

 

The Headhunters hold their fortress monastery atop a flat-topped mountain, the path up lined with the skulls of worthy chapter foes coated in palladium, their names, and the name of their slayer etched into their forehead, a white scar tradition that sits well with the tribes.

 

Organisation

 

Once the chapter were fully formed from the tribes of Chaaya, they impetuously threw off the rigid rules of the codex astartes, instead forming companies based on the six clans, each one with a different speciality. Each clan chapter is 150 brothers strong, making the Headhunters a slightly smaller chapter at 900.

 

Originally, the Head hunters came only from the Vibhu, the largest clan, and worked well as a cohesive unit. However, it was found that by intensively taking the best of the Trapita, they were weakened, leading the other clans rising up and nearly destroying them, taking all of their aaruh as prizes. As such, it was not viable to recruit from the Trapita only, and the five other clans became recruiting pools as well. This led to great infighting within the chapter, each clan now vying for dominance within the whole unit.

 

The third Mahatamara, the headhunter term for their chapter master, Yodr, decided to split the chapter, forming it into six companies, based upon clan. This solved the problem, and improved the effectiveness of the Headhunters as a chapter, each focussing on a speciality, reflecting the chosen method of war that they did as clans on the plains. For example, the Vinbu became the Trapita, the shamed. As a symbol of their fall from grace, they took no bikes, and excelled at anti-vehicle warfare, and boarding actions, quickly moving through the labyrinthine confines of ships, similar to the valleys and caves their clan now inhabit.

 

As such, each company is, after a fashion, a self-contained unit. They recruit exclusively from their own clans, and are responsible for their own tech marines, librarians and drednoughts. The title of chapter master, or ‘Mahatamara’ rotates between the Amaras every twenty five years. The Amaras engage in combat to win the right. These do not end in death, as the life of an astartes as powerful as an amara is too precious, but it is not uncommon for bionics to be required for the losers.

 

Such individuality leads to a great competition between companies. It is not unheard of that young squads will jeopardise missions in the name of surpassing their comrades from other clans.

 

Each unit, rather than marking their shoulderpads with unit designation, mark the tops of their helm with a colour. Dark blue is dark blue, assault use dark red, devastators use silver, veterans use black, tech marines a bright blue and librarians purple. Chaplains, due to their skull helms, are exempt.

 

Due to preference towards gorgets, the Headhunters have recently requisitioned as many Mark 8 sets of armour as possible, meaning they have a higher than average sets of this armour. Most, however, go for modified sets of mark VII, overseen by the company tech marines.

 

In each Astartes clan company, there is a special rank, a tradition taken from the white scars. One brother will be appointed 'the seeker', to hunt down an enemy of the chapter, take their head, and return it to the fortress monastery on Chaaya, where it is dipped in palladium, and their name is etched onto their forehead, the name of their seeker etched along the jawline, in a similar way as the tribal clans do with enemy skulls on Chaaya. These skulls are mounted on pikes, lining the walkway to the fortress monastery. This warrior becomes anonymous until the success of their task. Success only comes when the mission is complete, with the foe dead. If they die in the process, they are returned to the monastery, and interred in the 'vault of heroes', for their is no greater death than as an honourable seeker. A target is chosen by a seeker by one of the Vaadin, a council of senior librarians, who are often seen walking the hall of skulls, or the walkway of nemeses, touching skulls here and there. Only the Vaadin know what process they work by, all that is known is only foes of great importance are ever chosen.

 

Combat Doctrine

 

Although each company goes about it differently, every headhunter sees the leader of the enemy as the priority target, the key action in all battles to remove the head, then decimate the body. Each chapter is adept in its own way at seeking and destroying the command structure of an army, and then shattering the remaining troops in the ensuing confusion. All companies seem to prefer fighting at night, and a signature by headhunter scouts is to fire a boltshell into the enemies necks, the explosive shell ripping the head from the body. This is normally the grisly signal of an attack.

 

Beliefs

The Headhunters still hold a few of the beliefs of their past lives, tattooing themselves as their standing in the chapter increases, taking skulls as trophies and believing in their god, Ishvaara. They see the emperor as the worldly incarnation of Ishvaara, which has led to more than a few clashes with the Ecclesiarchy. Their ways have led to the more authoritarian individuals thinking of them as savages, but a fierce intelligence drives every move of the Headhunters, even in the seemingly rabid Rudhir.

 

For a Chaayan, to lose one's head is the greatest shame. The head is the holder of all the knowledge and power of the person. A warrior must go before Ishvaara before being allowed into his grace, on the endless plain. For a warrior to go to him with his head in the crook of his arm is a great shame, and the warrior will be forever dishonoured. An honoured warrior will often wear a gorget, or thick collar, to protect the wearer fro decapitation. The Headhunters carry this tradition on, the armour of officers, veterans or honoured battle brothers often sports a gorget, to protect from decapitation, often decorated to show the reason for their award.

 

When an astartes becomes a battle brother, he is gifted with a nayati, a piece of duracloth wrapped around the waist, draping the left leg. This will display honours and achievements of the marine. Veterans are allowed to wear it into battle, whilst normal brothers wear them ceremonially. When a brother dies, the Nayati hangs in the hall of honours, stitched into the long, twining tapestry threading around the whole room.

 

Gene Seed

The White scar gene-seed adapted very well to the physiology of the Chaayan people, the only notable difference is a minor flaw in the Malenochrome, giving the Headhunters pale skin and eyes with black sclera.

Battlecry:

Each clan has its own individual battlecry, the Kusapna making no noise as they move forward, the Rudhir each roaring wordless chants and prayers to the sky.

[Cpt_Reaper]

I really like your fluff, and the concept of clan companies rather than codex adherant companies is something that adds character. I think you need to state the size of the companies, and moving how the clans fight into combat doctrine (or style as I sometimes call it). Maybe add a section under homeworld that is specifically for the description of the tribes so as to not clutter up the description of the planet itself.

[mrun0riginal]

I really like your fluff, and the concept of clan companies rather than codex adherant companies is something that adds character. I think you need to state the size of the companies, and moving how the clans fight into combat doctrine (or style as I sometimes call it). Maybe add a section under homeworld that is specifically for the description of the tribes so as to not clutter up the description of the planet itself.

 

That's a good plan. I'm planning of having a master of the hunt style character, but obviously, for each company. I'm wrangling with names though. I think it looks less cluttered now.

[Firepower]

I really like this idea, and it has lots of potential. However, I think it's been done before (the name that is). Even so, as was discussed not too long ago on this forum, there's more to an original chapter than an original name.

 

The break up of clans based on tactical aptitude and preference of warfare is a nice hitch. Kind of strikes me as Tau-ish, really.

 

There are some minor grammatical errors and what not, but Im too tired to bother and things are still so rough that it's not worth correcting regardless.

 

My one concern is that the chapter comes off as too much of a carbon copy from the White Scars at some points. Scars have been traded for tattoos, but beyond that they hail from a planet which is roughly identical to Chogoris in most significant matters. This isn't an instant "fail" by any means, but as things develop it might be worth reflecting on similarities and trying to stray from their parent chapter when feasible.

 

On that note, when i read "headhunters," my first thought was actually Gilligan's Island of all things. Cultures on earth which have been 'type-cast' (for lack of a better word) as head hunters largely reside in jungle/forested regions. This can be done without disconnecting the new chapter from the Khan-styled culture of the White Scars fairly simply, in that not every mount in the 40k Universe is a horse. Perhaps instead they hail from a jungle world with some native fauna that is ride-able, domesticated, and navigates the complex jungle terrain as quickly as any horse. It wouldn't affect the marines themselves so much, considering that any proper SM force (I'm lookin' at you, space pups) trades in biological steeds for bikes.

 

One thing which might be neat which was inspired by your pic of the chapter iconography, specifically the collar. Perhaps with high rank/prestige in the chapter, marines are granted armor specifically dedicated to protecting the neck. Since they see decapitation of the enemy's officers as the surest route to victory, they might reasonably safeguard themselves against just such an approach. So, fancy, ornate and effective neckguards/collars might be the mark of a veteran or officer amongst the chapter.

[mrun0riginal]

I really like this idea, and it has lots of potential. However, I think it's been done before (the name that is). Even so, as was discussed not too long ago on this forum, there's more to an original chapter than an original name.

 

The break up of clans based on tactical aptitude and preference of warfare is a nice hitch. Kind of strikes me as Tau-ish, really.

 

There are some minor grammatical errors and what not, but Im too tired to bother and things are still so rough that it's not worth correcting regardless.

 

My one concern is that the chapter comes off as too much of a carbon copy from the White Scars at some points. Scars have been traded for tattoos, but beyond that they hail from a planet which is roughly identical to Chogoris in most significant matters. This isn't an instant "fail" by any means, but as things develop it might be worth reflecting on similarities and trying to stray from their parent chapter when feasible.

 

On that note, when i read "headhunters," my first thought was actually Gilligan's Island of all things. Cultures on earth which have been 'type-cast' (for lack of a better word) as head hunters largely reside in jungle/forested regions. This can be done without disconnecting the new chapter from the Khan-styled culture of the White Scars fairly simply, in that not every mount in the 40k Universe is a horse. Perhaps instead they hail from a jungle world with some native fauna that is ride-able, domesticated, and navigates the complex jungle terrain as quickly as any horse. It wouldn't affect the marines themselves so much, considering that any proper SM force (I'm lookin' at you, space pups) trades in biological steeds for bikes.

 

One thing which might be neat which was inspired by your pic of the chapter iconography, specifically the collar. Perhaps with high rank/prestige in the chapter, marines are granted armor specifically dedicated to protecting the neck. Since they see decapitation of the enemy's officers as the surest route to victory, they might reasonably safeguard themselves against just such an approach. So, fancy, ornate and effective neckguards/collars might be the mark of a veteran or officer amongst the chapter.

 

I didn't think they were too much like white scars until you pointed it out, actually. Thanks :lol: I also like the neckguard idea, another coincidence on the painter, i just like the blast guards. Maybe giant ground birds? (I'm looking at you Chocobos!), as i'm not sure if that's been done before. Someone else would know better on that front.

[Firepower]

I didn't think they were too much like white scars until you pointed it out, actually. Thanks ;) I also like the neckguard idea, another coincidence on the painter, i just like the blast guards. Maybe giant ground birds? (I'm looking at you Chocobos!), as i'm not sure if that's been done before. Someone else would know better on that front.

 

I'd reconsider the avian thing. Bird mounts are a bit too chocobo, as you said, and reptilian mounts (i.e. kroot, Cold Ones) have been done as well. Of all the families of fauna, insects/arachnids are the only ones I haven't seen done in 40k. Could be some strain of ancient Tyranid vanguard that the local populous has either domesticated or beaten into submission, like a Catachan Devil with a saddle B) .

 

Also, another thought: on initiation/trial rituals for up and comers of the chapter, maybe a ritual hunt for a designated species of local beast's head would be interesting. In particular, telling a neophyte to go hunt the head of something that is directly contrary to the tactics employed by their parent clan, in order to teach them the value of tactics. For instance, the Rudhir may be ordered to hunt something which absolutely requires stealth and cunning to kill. Vice versa, the Kusapna neophytes may be ordered to go collect the head of a local beasty too big/strong/vicious to be taken out in a simple sneak attack. In doing so, the chapter would ensure that any recruits were talented, skillful, and resourceful enough to complete a mission contrary to their own predispositions. The chapter could thus weed out those who are exceptional amongst their own clans from those who are simply exceptional across the board.

[mrun0riginal]

I didn't think they were too much like white scars until you pointed it out, actually. Thanks :tu: I also like the neckguard idea, another coincidence on the painter, i just like the blast guards. Maybe giant ground birds? (I'm looking at you Chocobos!), as i'm not sure if that's been done before. Someone else would know better on that front.

 

I'd reconsider the avian thing. Bird mounts are a bit too chocobo, as you said, and reptilian mounts (i.e. kroot, Cold Ones) have been done as well. Of all the families of fauna, insects/arachnids are the only ones I haven't seen done in 40k. Could be some strain of ancient Tyranid vanguard that the local populous has either domesticated or beaten into submission, like a Catachan Devil with a saddle ;) .

 

Also, another thought: on initiation/trial rituals for up and comers of the chapter, maybe a ritual hunt for a designated species of local beast's head would be interesting. In particular, telling a neophyte to go hunt the head of something that is directly contrary to the tactics employed by their parent clan, in order to teach them the value of tactics. For instance, the Rudhir may be ordered to hunt something which absolutely requires stealth and cunning to kill. Vice versa, the Kusapna neophytes may be ordered to go collect the head of a local beasty too big/strong/vicious to be taken out in a simple sneak attack. In doing so, the chapter would ensure that any recruits were talented, skillful, and resourceful enough to complete a mission contrary to their own predispositions. The chapter could thus weed out those who are exceptional amongst their own clans from those who are simply exceptional across the board.

 

I think I'll go with chocobos, or bears. Bear cavalry is just too awesome to ignore. It's an interesting way to do initiation, i might work that in, I do need to add text boxes.

[mrun0riginal]

Made it into bear cavalry, as I quite like the idea of riding into battle atop bears, ready to maul your face. I've also added a bit on the 'seeker'. Any help on a better name would be appreciated. I did have 'decapitator', but it's too clunky.

[Firepower]

Bears never struck me as particularly fast...but then I've never been in a foot race with a Kodiak (knock on wood).

 

As for alternative names to the seeker: Nemesis (a bit greek) Hunter (equally bland) Stalker (ditto) Retributor (doesn't sound particularly "scar"-ish) Ranger, Slayer, Outcast (could be fun if the mission was undertaken as penance instead of as an honor).

[Ace Debonair]

Due to preference towards gorgets, the Headhunters have recently requisitioned as many Mark 8 sets of armour as possible, making them the chapter with the highest amount of this armour of all astartes chapters.

Steady on!

Given that the mk8 stuff is not exactly common-as-dirt power armour, it's unlikely they'd dish out so many to a DIY chapter, even a 6th founding one.

Why not just have the techmarines run up some gorgets for the mk7 (or earlier) armour? ;)

 

Also, you probably want to try and avoid 'having the most of X', for much the same reason nobody should really claim to 'be the best chapter at X'.

 

Now I approve of the smaller-than-average-chapter approach, but the organisation section telling us about how each of the different companies fight is a bit much. Maybe talk about one or two of the more famous or successful clans, but talking about all of them is a little overkill.

Also, I'm not sure if you're talking about the Marines or the natives, given the references to arrows being fired from the back of their bears.

 

As a side-note, don't the White Scars break up groups of recruits from single tribes, forcing them to work with others to strengthen the whole, rather than further developing tribal preferences/specialities?

If your chapter doesn't do that, you could make use of a few words to say why. :lol:

 

All in all, though, that's a darn good start. Keep up the good work!

[mrun0riginal]

Due to preference towards gorgets, the Headhunters have recently requisitioned as many Mark 8 sets of armour as possible, making them the chapter with the highest amount of this armour of all astartes chapters.

Steady on!

Given that the mk8 stuff is not exactly common-as-dirt power armour, it's unlikely they'd dish out so many to a DIY chapter, even a 6th founding one.

Why not just have the techmarines run up some gorgets for the mk7 (or earlier) armour? :lol:

 

Also, you probably want to try and avoid 'having the most of X', for much the same reason nobody should really claim to 'be the best chapter at X'.

 

Now I approve of the smaller-than-average-chapter approach, but the organisation section telling us about how each of the different companies fight is a bit much. Maybe talk about one or two of the more famous or successful clans, but talking about all of them is a little overkill.

Also, I'm not sure if you're talking about the Marines or the natives, given the references to arrows being fired from the back of their bears.

 

As a side-note, don't the White Scars break up groups of recruits from single tribes, forcing them to work with others to strengthen the whole, rather than further developing tribal preferences/specialities?

If your chapter doesn't do that, you could make use of a few words to say why. :P

 

All in all, though, that's a darn good start. Keep up the good work!

 

I should perhaps say 'higher than average amount of Mk VIII.

 

I've put the way the tribes fight in, because i'm planning on clan upgrades for the codex i'm writing at the mo. They would prbably have fought together under the eye of the white scars, but then, as i said, once they left, they went through a drastic organisational shake up, as they are so competitive with each other, it would have broken the cohesive fighting force of the chapter apart if they were in merged squads.

[Octavulg]

The Headhunters were formed during the 6th founding, from the geeneseed of Jaghatai Khan. Their geeneseed and founding brothers were drawn from the white scars themselves, from warriors of the 6th company, something the Headhunters hold as a great honour. Their first missions were against heretical organisations, swiftly cutting the cancer from imperial citizenry across multiple worlds.

 

OK, you obviously need more than this. How did the Headhunters come to be, well, headhunters? What do they do with the heads (I'm thinking a gallery of skulls, perhaps with holorecords of the heads' wisdom)? How did they find their home world?

 

The Headhunters are drawn from the temperate world of Chaaya, a feral world that has not even created blackpowder. The grassy, rolling landscape lends itself to mounted warfare, practiced by the great tribes that hold sway over the planet. 6 Great clans fight constantly for supremacy over their swathes of land, territories waxing and waning. Any other tribe to attempt to rise has been stamped out, or merged under the banner of one of the ‘amara’, leaders of the six great clans.

Life on Chaaya is ferocious. Once born, a child is left for over ten hours a day alone, fending for itself, to build strength and the powerful sense of independence that every Chaayan holds burning in their heart. Once they can walk, they are paired with an Aaruh, a large, bear like creature, as almost as tall as an astartes at the shoulder, and taught to ride it, building a relationship with the animal, that, unlike most beasts, will live for decades, as long as the humans of Chaaya. As soon as they are deemed competent, the children enter the ritual to become warriors.

 

By definition, a feral world has not created black powder. Also, leaving your kids alone for ten hours a day is a good way to lose your kids. Which is a good way to be wiped out.

 

It would be foolish to presume a planet is dominated by one topographical feature.

 

I'll have you know that ice worlds are perfectly reasonable. Honest.

 

The Headhunters hold their fortress monastery atop a flat-topped mountain, the path up lined with the skulls of worthy chapter foes coated in palladium, their names, and the name of their slayer etched into their forehead, a white scar tradition that sits well with the tribes.

 

Er...I don't remember that tradition...

 

Once the chapter were fully formed from the tribes of Chaaya, they impetuously threw off the rigid rules of the codex astartes, instead forming companies based on the six clans, each one with a different speciality. Each clan chapter is 150 brothers strong, making the Headhunters a slightly smaller chapter at 900.

 

The rules of the Codex Astartes aren't necessarily that rigid, and plenty of Chapters ignore parts of it, or interpret things differently. The Codex is the most comprehensive work on tactics ever created. It's not the sort of thing you throw away.

 

The Trapita are the shamed, owning no Aaruh, who excel in anti-vehicle warfare, and intense boarding actions in labyrinthine ships, like the network of valleys and caves they inhabit.

 

Even the Iron Hands don't list specific companies. Finicky details are the enemy of a good IA. A chapter with thousands of years of history will have plenty of broad details that there won't be room for - you don't need to worry about smaller ones.

 

The Seeker

In each astartes clan, there is a special rank, a tradition taken from the white scars. One brother will be appointed 'the seeker', to hunt down an enemy of the chapter, take their head, and return it to the fortress monastery on Chaaya, where it is dipped in palladium, and their name is etched onto their forehead, the name of their seeker etched along the jawline, in the same way as the clans do with enemy skulls on Chaaya. This warrior becomes anonymous until the success of their task. If they die in the process, they are returned to the monastery, and interred in the 'vault of heroes', for their is no greater death than as an honourable seeker.

 

Interesting enough. How do they choose the enemies? What if the Seeker fails? Where do they keep all the skulls? Are there any rituals or the like around the skulls? Do they do something like eat the brain of the captured enemy (which Space Marines have been known to do)? Where do they get all the palladium (and if the planet has deposits of it, do they have a thriving set of trade concessions with someone)? Do they take unofficial heads as well? Why, when the Chapter is named the Headhunters, is this in a sidebar most of the way through the IA?

 

As such, each company is, after a fashion, a self-contained unit. They recruit exclusively from their own clans, and are responsible for their own tech marines, librarians and drednoughts. The title of chapter master, or ‘Mahatamara’ rotates between the Amaras every twenty five years. The Amaras engage in combat to win the right. These do not end in death, as the life of an astartes as powerful as an amara is too precious, but it is not uncommon for bionics to be required for the losers.

Such individuality leads to a great competition between companies. It is not unheard of that young squads will jeopardise missions in the name of surpassing their comrades from other clans.

 

Unique terms confuse the reader. Don't say Mahatamara when you can say Chapter Master. Don't say Amara when you can say Clan-leader or Clan-Chief.

 

Due to preference towards gorgets, the Headhunters have recently requisitioned as many Mark 8 sets of armour as possible, meaning they have a higher than average sets of this armour. Most, however, go for modified sets of mark VII, overseen by the company tech marines.

 

Equipment is not intrinsically interesting. Of course, you're not exactly overdoing it here. The real question would be why they just didn't, well, add gorgets, rather than having to requisition these things. It's not like it would be that difficult. And, honestly, a Chapter-wide preference for gorgets seems more silly than interesting.

 

The Headhunters still hold a few of the beliefs of their past lives, tattooing themselves as their standing in the chapter increases, taking skulls as trophies and believing in their god, Ishvaara. They see the emperor as the mortal incarnation of Ishvaara, which has led to more than a few clashes with the Ecclesiarchy. Their ways have led to the more authoritarian individuals thinking of them as savages, but a fierce intelligence drives every move of the Headhunters, even in the seemingly rabid Rudhir.

 

Mortal is a poor term. Perhaps 'worldly'. The Emperor, after all, is immortal. Pay no attention to the life-support device.

 

Another tradition taken from the tribes is the action of the gift of thick, armoured collars or gorgets to protect the neck. The armour of officers, veterans or honoured battle brothers often sports a gorget, to protect from decapitation, often decorated to show the reason for their award.

 

See, protecting themselves from decapitation works. But you really need to explore decapitation and its meaning to the Chapter in order to justify it. It still feels a little silly, honestly.

 

* * *

 

I'm concerned you're not going to try to get too much out of the headhunting. Trust me, if you're going to have a Chapter hunt heads and do things with them, have them Hunt Heads and Do Things With Them.

 

Otherwise, it's pretty good. There's not that much here, but it shows definite promise, and the color scheme is kinda neat. A bit more explanation and development will work well.

 

In regards to what Ace has said (and your response):

 

I should perhaps say 'higher than average amount of Mk VIII.

 

Just say that they like it (and why). The question of whether or not they've been able to get more is irrelevant.

 

I've put the way the tribes fight in, because i'm planning on clan upgrades for the codex i'm writing at the mo.

 

This is an IA, not a Codex. You do not need to tell us everything about the Chapter (nor should you). The Space Wolves IA does not enumerate the Great Companies.

 

They would prbably have fought together under the eye of the white scars, but then, as i said, once they left, they went through a drastic organisational shake up, as they are so competitive with each other, it would have broken the cohesive fighting force of the chapter apart if they were in merged squads.

 

Then explain how that process happened (if organizing along Clan lines worked best, I'd actually expect the White Scars to recognize that). The Codex is a big deal, and just dropping aspects of it wouldn't work well.

 

EDIT: Actually, what you could do if you wanted: originally, they recruited from one clan (and thus there were no problems). However, they discovered an issue - their clan was being weakened by the drafting of its best warriors. So the White Scars divided the chapter into Clans, and divided recruitment accordingly, thus preserving the balance. It lets you have one clan be really smug since they were the first, too.

[Hrvat]

The head on a stick by the road is from the Kor'sarro Khan entry.

[mrun0riginal]

OK, you obviously need more than this. How did the Headhunters come to be, well, headhunters? What do they do with the heads (I'm thinking a gallery of skulls, perhaps with holorecords of the heads' wisdom)? How did they find their home world?

That was my plan, I seem to have left that part out. I'll be redressing that straight away, thanks!

 

By definition, a feral world has not created black powder. Also, leaving your kids alone for ten hours a day is a good way to lose your kids. Which is a good way to be wiped out.

Again, a little mix up, and leaving your children for a large part of the day is still practised in Mongolia.

 

I'll have you know that ice worlds are perfectly reasonable. Honest.

 

I know ice worlds are reasonable, but in a standard climate, that Chaaya has, one topographical feature, such as plains, would not occur

 

Er...I don't remember that tradition...

 

The White scars dip the skull in silver, it's in the Kor'Sarro Khan entry. I wanted to make it different, but obvious that it is a common practice between the two.

 

The rules of the Codex Astartes aren't necessarily that rigid, and plenty of Chapters ignore parts of it, or interpret things differently. The Codex is the most comprehensive work on tactics ever created. It's not the sort of thing you throw away.

 

In their view it is rigid, was the point I am trying to get across.

 

Even the Iron Hands don't list specific companies. Finicky details are the enemy of a good IA. A chapter with thousands of years of history will have plenty of broad details that there won't be room for - you don't need to worry about smaller ones.

 

Ok, I will take these out. I guess they make the whole thing a tad on the clunky side, there.

 

Interesting enough. How do they choose the enemies? What if the Seeker fails? Where do they keep all the skulls? Are there any rituals or the like around the skulls? Do they do something like eat the brain of the captured enemy (which Space Marines have been known to do)? Where do they get all the palladium (and if the planet has deposits of it, do they have a thriving set of trade concessions with someone)? Do they take unofficial heads as well? Why, when the Chapter is named the Headhunters, is this in a sidebar most of the way through the IA?

 

I'm still unsure on how they go about choosing enemies. I'm currently working through a few ritualised methods, rather than a flat out 'we don't like that guy'. Brain eating is interesting. I may have to add that in :) I would have imagined trade with a feral astartes world would not happen, but it would come from natural deposits, yes. I don't understand the term 'unofficial heads', similar to black ops? Say, a traitorous headhunter? I put it as a sidebar, as it's a special unit, and I was unsure if to put it in organisation.

 

Unique terms confuse the reader. Don't say Mahatamara when you can say Chapter Master. Don't say Amara when you can say Clan-leader or Clan-Chief.

 

Ok, but maybe I should still say a Chapter master is referred as a Mahatamara, but then continue with Chapter master?

 

Equipment is not intrinsically interesting. Of course, you're not exactly overdoing it here. The real question would be why they just didn't, well, add gorgets, rather than having to requisition these things. It's not like it would be that difficult. And, honestly, a Chapter-wide preference for gorgets seems more silly than interesting.

Again, i haven't gone deep enough, thanks for that, it's a common problem with everything I do.

 

Mortal is a poor term. Perhaps 'worldly'. The Emperor, after all, is immortal. Pay no attention to the life-support device.

 

Allright, i'll change that.

 

 

EDIT: Actually, what you could do if you wanted: originally, they recruited from one clan (and thus there were no problems). However, they discovered an issue - their clan was being weakened by the drafting of its best warriors. So the White Scars divided the chapter into Clans, and divided recruitment accordingly, thus preserving the balance. It lets you have one clan be really smug since they were the first, too.

 

I actually very much like this idea. I already have an idea for that.

 

Thank you for all this help. Slowly, i'll get it up to scratch.

[Octavulg]

Again, a little mix up, and leaving your children for a large part of the day is still practised in Mongolia.

 

The Mongolians don't have many large predators. Nor are they dealing with Stone Age medicine (at least, so I would assume) or Stone Age mortality rates.

 

I know ice worlds are reasonable, but in a standard climate, that Chaaya has, one topographical feature, such as plains, would not occur

 

Just a joke. I'm being over-defensive about my Chapter. Well, my first/most famous/prettiest chapter.

 

The White scars dip the skull in silver, it's in the Kor'Sarro Khan entry. I wanted to make it different, but obvious that it is a common practice between the two.

 

Ah.

 

In their view it is rigid, was the point I am trying to get across.

 

They can throw it out - but make it clear that it's a decision based around pride and stubbornness, rather than reason. It's simply too useful not to keep in some form unless you're being irrational.

 

I'm still unsure on how they go about choosing enemies. I'm currently working through a few ritualised methods, rather than a flat out 'we don't like that guy'. Brain eating is interesting. I may have to add that in biggrin.gif I would have imagined trade with a feral astartes world would not happen, but it would come from natural deposits, yes. I don't understand the term 'unofficial heads', similar to black ops? Say, a traitorous headhunter? I put it as a sidebar, as it's a special unit, and I was unsure if to put it in organisation.

 

Ever play Planescape: Torment (or Planescape in general, actually)? I'm picturing something like Lothar with his shelves of talking skulls. The Librarians reading the thoughts of the dead skulls would be interesting and creepy (nothing overt. Just faint whispers). Shelves of palladided skulls, stretching away into the dark, with the Librarians silently listening to them...

 

See, mining palladium is pretty involved. And feral worlds do all kinds of things - there was one that mined the metal for a starship (mentioned in BFG). Considering palladium's value, I would expect some interest from outside. Up to you how you deal with that interest, of course.

 

The Seeker's integral to headhunting - put him in the main part where you explain the headhunting (which, to me, should be Beliefs - I'd put that right before Home World, maybe, or right after). By unofficial heads I meant heads that weren't from Chapter enemies. i.e. heads that are just from guys they killed.

 

Ok, but maybe I should still say a Chapter master is referred as a Mahatamara, but then continue with Chapter master?

 

You could. But honestly, it's just not worth it. If it means a lot to you, hang onto it. But differences should really mean something. Say what you will about the White Scars calling their Captains Khan, it definitely keeps you in the right mindset. :P

 

I actually very much like this idea. I already have an idea for that.

 

Great. Good luck. :)

[Firepower]

On the question of reasons for their head-hunting ways, maybe shift focus from Mongolia a bit further east to Japan would work? The practice of presenting the head of the enemy was the way for a warrior to show, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the target was dead. In many tribal societies, such as those prevalent in central Asia and the middle east, justice systems were (in some cases, are) between tribes in reference to murder and follow an eye for an eye principle. However, considering the terrain of such regions (much like your home world) it is a simple matter for an individual to simply disappear, so compensation for transgressions (read: a life) are simply taken from one of the offending tribesmen, not the individual him/herself.

 

As such, an individual who not only rode out to seek compensation for the loss of a brother/sister tribal member, but found the exact murderer would be a markedly talented hunter. Proof of such an accomplishment would be the presentation of the criminal's head to the slayer's own tribe, and maybe the tribe of the dead (for a variety of reasons, you fill in the blank).

 

Such missions would not have to be limited to tribal justice/revenge in a fictitious setting. Perhaps the terrain favors roving tribes of bandits. Perhaps it is a common occurrence due to some indigenous drug/intoxicant for individuals to go feral, mad, etc. Whatever the reason, it would have to be more frequent than cases of inter-tribal murder to justify a centric position for head-hunting in the indigenous culture (and eventually the Chapter drawn from that culture, as customs tend to do).

 

Keep up the good work, hope what I've written helps to inspire.

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

And, honestly, a Chapter-wide preference for gorgets seems more silly than interesting.

 

Damnit Octavulg, out of everything you've ever written, while you have amused me and at other times made me laugh, this is the first time you've made me giggle. Yes giggle. How am I supposed to maintain order and around here when you have me giggling like a fool? :)

 

In their view it is rigid, was the point I am trying to get across.

 

It would be a fair point, if the Codex Astartes wasn't the closest thing to the 40k equivilent of Sun Tsu's The Art of War. It's a collection of treatise, guidelines, strategy and tactical advice that is meant to be referred to in just about any situation.

 

Most people confuse the organizational guidelines laid down by the codex astartes and the actual codex itself. The Organizational guidelines were put in place by Guilliman for the sole reason of keeping the successors of the Legions from repeating history in the form of the Horus Heresy. The organization of a chapter as detailed within was supposed to be the most balanced and flexible compositions for the chapter, I'd assume, since flexibility is one of the Astartes strong points, their versatility against just about any foe you can mention.

 

You can still adhere to the Codex even if you don't strictly stick to it's organizational principles.

[Octavulg]

What he said.

 

With the addendum that your Chapter still could abandon the Codex, it just should be clear that it's because they're arrogant, not that they're better than it.