The Storm Angels

[Brother Nathan]

Raising of the Angels

The Storm Angels are a successor chapter of the Blood Angels chapter. Their founding us lost to them. What is known to them is that those first members of the chapter came from the first company and were created in order to protect a relatively small sector near the halo stars that provided much needed imperial man power from alien attacks and, more importantly to act as a reserve force to bolster those defending the eye of terror. However when they arrived in the sector and they had began to search for a planet to begin building their fortress monetary upon, it was discovered that planet after planet was devoid of life, with no apparent cause of the loss of the lives on the planets. In fact of the systems 7 planets that were recorded to be populated, only one still held life. They were commanded to remain within the sector and to set up their base. They made for the last planet, one that ran by the name of Tempest Oneota.

This planet was renowned for systems around for being both a death world and for huge storms that surged constantly over its surface. Its continents were formed of many small Islands. Yet there was food in abundance and for those who were willing to risk venturing out into the storms could risk everything yet not survive without doing so.

At first glance the planet would appear uninhabitable, but the rather primitive, yet hardy, humans had built their settlements underground for escape from the worst of the storms. The people quickly learn the importance of life from the ease at which it can be lost. The social structure was very close and the people made blood pacts in order to secure promises. Any who were found to break their oaths would have their wrists slit and be hung from their ankles; such is its importance to them.

Yet there was fighting between gangs, and there were outcasts such as family’s being thrown out for a family member breaking his word. There still existed levels of society but based on the risk that they were willing to go through for their families. Those who risked the most and often, many times ended up being best off and saw as higher in society as a result.

 

The Perils above...

To know the angels you must know what they faced, and they faced little short of death. Most would not go above the surface until they were 5 years of age, and their eyes would be better developed as a result of the poor light from the glow orbs in alcoves in the walls of the tunnels. During that time they would be raised in the practices of their clans and to discipline their bodies for the time they could help them in the collecting of food. And even then to survive their first journey into the storm unhurt is rare and death is often. The islands are rich in food, so thick is the growth that it is difficult to move and they plants grow constantly. Sharp spikes from some plants are sharp enough to cut through flesh with ease and submit a poison that shows healing down. Yet through the undergrowth is berries and funguses in abundance. Of course many are deadly poisonous and conceal insects and other things tough enough to survive the harsh climate. And harvesting past all that is done with the storm raging around them. Rain is constant and heavy and cold when it’s not hail, winds strong enough to capsize a sentinel are low winds, and thunderbolts constantly strike around them, which is daunting in the least to those who have been in the relative silence and darkness and overall calmness of the tunnels all their lives. Many attempts to grow the plants underground have been attempted but failed due to the lack of light and tech to create it. To survive in such conditions is a miracle, and yet the people are thriving and make excellent candidates for becoming marines.

 

The storm angels

 

The chapter soon adopted the world as its own shortly after its first intake of initiates. It took one of the islands to build its base upon and create their planet bound training areas. The jungles and weather proved to help facilitate the marines training. They took the colours of the seas as part of their heraldry and combined it with their founding chapter’s icons. Red was a simple choice to replace the drab grey of their armour, and gold and black were taken to remind them of the gene seed flaws and the need for purity and to shine stronger in the darkness. Lightening was incorporated into the symbol as further reminder of the constant storm that dwells within. Thus were the storm angels born.

With their influence and the help of the imperial guard from a neighbouring system they searched the nearby planets for what had happened but found no trace of the peoples that had vanished. Nor were there either aliens nor other things that usually find their way into unpopulated planets. The administration decided to rebuild and repopulate an action that was fully supported by the angels who aided in the protection and so on of the planets systems. Soon they were able to recruit from the populaces of them too and thus the chapter swelled to full strength, but did not remain that way for long.

 

First blood...

 

The increased activity attracted renegade guard who began attacking settlements and stealing valuable supplies from cargo ships with ruthless abandon. The angels replied in full force, the entire chapter’s ships striking straight at the heart of the enemy fleet. Days later, with most of the traitors fleet burning, and indeed much of their own they were force to retreat as warp engines of one of the angels cruisers exploded taking many with them. The severely injured renegade fleet was forced to evacuate all its surviving warriors to a nearby moon. But the angels would not be denied this victory. Taking to whatever transport was still operational they all got to the surface, to find the traitors had disappeared into tunnels below the surface. Of the angels there was only 600 standing and there was reckoned to be thousands of the enemy. And if they were using this as their base of operations it could be higher as this moon which was on the verge of a neighbouring system was supposed to not exist... Not afraid of their enemy they poured into the tunnels after them, but they were empty, blood streaked the walls marking horrifying glyphs that made the marines cringe to look upon but there were no corpses, nor bone, just blood.

In the centre of the moon was a huge chamber, with a portal so some form guarded by a few hundred of the elite of the traitors. The marines allowed no time for shooting and had them shredded in minutes, the leader of them was kept alive for questioning, having had his power mounted arm ripped out and fixed enough by the medics to stop him dying too quickly. But he would not talk; even the librarians’ were unable to find anything from him, or indeed for the portal. The chapter master, by the name of Grobra Santé, decided not to take the risk and to destroy the place. All were agreed and they began to pull out.

As they reached the fleet however a ship dropped out of warp and demanded communication on behalf of the inquisition. The chapter master allowed the inquisitor onto his ship but would not take his guns away from the thing. Which the inquisitor fully agreed to as the best course of action. This inquisitor had apparently, without knowledge of the chapter had been sent to oversee the chapter and to find out what had happened to the populaces. The inquisitor believed this thing held the answer to the disapearences and wanted to examin it and then destroys it. Grobra agreed and gave a week before it would be destroyed but if anything happened he would not hesitate to fire.

 

The inquisitors quickly discovered this was no rock or moon; it was completely formed of human bone, twisted and constructed using dark powers. To where it went even they could not imagine but samples found that the bone had been that of the missing populaces. Apparently one of the guard regiments’ sent to secure the system centuries’ before the chapter had turned rouge and turned on the populaces. Why they missed Tempest Oneota is unknown but the marines await their return to avenge the peoples. The thing was destroyed using the most potent explosives they had and monuments raised across the system in homage to the lost and their avenging angels.

 

This early and well documented event helped to shape the chapter, they realised that their primarch had been right to fight for the people and follow the ways of their father as closely as the codex allows. And at the same time they are not the same due to their home worlds influences upon them. They stand against the coming storm, they are not buffeted by war, the thunder of guns does not shake them, nor do the rains drench their spirits, for they are the true storm and they shall not be denied! For the Emperor and Sanguinius they will fight!

 

 

 

 

 

Well thats my attempt thoughts? Have another addition to write on this, think a marines take on german storm trooper tactics. Any way thoughts and comments welcomed. Tanks ;) Bro Nat

[NightrawenII]

Well thats my attempt thoughts? Have another addition to write on this, think a marines take on german storm trooper tactics. Any way thoughts and comments welcomed. Tanks ;) Bro Nat

You ask for it. ^_^

 

1st. The Space Marine Chapters aren't created this way. Read the guide on the top of this forum.

 

The planet doesn't make sence:

...The islands are rich in food, so thick is the growth that it is difficult to move and they plants grow constantly... ...Rain is constant and heavy and cold when it’s not hail, winds strong enough to capsize a sentinel are low winds, and thunderbolts constantly strike around them...

If the weather is so insane, then there is no way for plants to grow.

 

...And even then to survive their first journey into the storm unhurt is rare and death is often...

Define often. If the mortality rate is very high, then your populace face a extinction.

 

Its continents were formed of many small Islands... ...At first glance the planet would appear uninhabitable, but the rather primitive, yet hardy, humans had built their settlements underground for escape from the worst of the storms.

Find a suitable cave is very hard and it's even harder on the small island.

 

Apparently one of the guard regiments’ sent to secure the system centuries’ before the chapter had turned rouge and turned on the populaces.

These slaaneshi cultists.... :huh:

 

First blood...

I don't want to be harsh, but... Man, you don't know how to write. The story is good and grimdark enough for W40k, but the form you put it is god-awful.

[Brother Nathan]

Well thats my attempt thoughts? Have another addition to write on this, think a marines take on german storm trooper tactics. Any way thoughts and comments welcomed. Tanks :) Bro Nat

You ask for it. :)

 

1st. The Space Marine Chapters aren't created this way. Read the guide on the top of this forum.

 

The planet doesn't make sence:

...The islands are rich in food, so thick is the growth that it is difficult to move and they plants grow constantly... ...Rain is constant and heavy and cold when it’s not hail, winds strong enough to capsize a sentinel are low winds, and thunderbolts constantly strike around them...

If the weather is so insane, then there is no way for plants to grow.

 

Ok, i was thinking that death worlds are notoriously tough, the plants would be exceptionally tough, kinda hard i know. And its 40k, nothing is impossible...lol

 

...And even then to survive their first journey into the storm unhurt is rare and death is often...

Define often. If the mortality rate is very high, then your populace face a extinction.

 

From most spacemarine chapters homeworlds you would think the same, ferris-noctune-baal. from subzero cold- burning lava and radiation there really shouldnt be any life on any of them either. And this can be offset by a high birth rate, no?

 

Its continents were formed of many small Islands... ...At first glance the planet would appear uninhabitable, but the rather primitive, yet hardy, humans had built their settlements underground for escape from the worst of the storms.

Find a suitable cave is very hard and it's even harder on the small island.

 

hard but not impossible. and part of the idea is that if you are stuck in a cave and dont have much room, you try to make it bigger. so there can be underground settlements etc. also they dont just take initiates from the one planet unlike other chapters as that limits a chapter to one cultural identity. When you are fighting a war its best to have diversity so different ideas comming through and diffferent traits so as to be greater than the sum of their parts. least thats my theory :)

 

Apparently one of the guard regiments’ sent to secure the system centuries’ before the chapter had turned rouge and turned on the populaces.

These slaaneshi cultists.... :P

 

yea there about as trustable as my spelling...

 

First blood...

I don't want to be harsh, but... Man, you don't know how to write. The story is good and grimdark enough for W40k, but the form you put it is god-awful.

 

lol, i know wasnt great at writing in school. I just want a little bit of back story so they just aint another paint scheme. thanks though!

[Shadey]

Whether Nightrawen is right or wrong (I have not read your IA yet) don't let it discourage you. The best way to get better at writing is of course to write.

 

You have a worthy goal there btw.

 

There are many people here who can help with hints and tips and the critical review provided by this forum is a great way for improving your IA, like it has helped me improve my own IA and many others.

[Quozzo]

"However when they arrived in the sector and they had began to search for a planet to begin building their fortress monetary upon, it was discovered that planet after planet was devoid of life, with no apparent cause of the loss of the lives on the planets. In fact of the systems 7 planets that were recorded to be populated, only one still held life. They were commanded to remain within the sector and to set up their base. They made for the last planet, one that ran by the name of Tempest Oneota."

 

You use the word panet far too often in that paragraph.

 

Good ideas for a chapter but its clear you need experience in writing it down.

[Brother Nathan]

Thanks shady, tis appriciated.

Quozzo, howd i not notice that? thanks. Yea first thing ive really written since leaving school bar counselling lessons and that really dont count... lol.

[NightrawenII]

The planet doesn't make sence:

...The islands are rich in food, so thick is the growth that it is difficult to move and they plants grow constantly... ...Rain is constant and heavy and cold when it’s not hail, winds strong enough to capsize a sentinel are low winds, and thunderbolts constantly strike around them...

If the weather is so insane, then there is no way for plants to grow.

Ok, i was thinking that death worlds are notoriously tough, the plants would be exceptionally tough, kinda hard i know. And its 40k, nothing is impossible...lol

You know, I HATE this argument.

Look, even on our planet we have areas where is raining for about 6 months in row. But there is pause(remember year is 12 months :geek: ) and the plants growth begin after the rain stop. And there is no wind.

 

From what you have written, it looks like it's raining 24/365, which is hard to believe.

 

...And even then to survive their first journey into the storm unhurt is rare and death is often...

Define often. If the mortality rate is very high, then your populace face a extinction.

 

From most spacemarine chapters homeworlds you would think the same, ferris-noctune-baal. from subzero cold- burning lava and radiation there really shouldnt be any life on any of them either. And this can be offset by a high birth rate, no?

Ok, fine.

It's just that you connect the death ratio to single event.

 

Its continents were formed of many small Islands... ...At first glance the planet would appear uninhabitable, but the rather primitive, yet hardy, humans had built their settlements underground for escape from the worst of the storms.

Find a suitable cave is very hard and it's even harder on the small island.

 

hard but not impossible. and part of the idea is that if you are stuck in a cave and dont have much room, you try to make it bigger. so there can be underground settlements etc.

If that underground cave is not under water too. There is a lot of rain. :lol:

 

... also they dont just take initiates from the one planet unlike other chapters as that limits a chapter to one cultural identity. When you are fighting a war its best to have diversity so different ideas comming through and diffferent traits so as to be greater than the sum of their parts. least thats my theory :P

[ironical remark] The SM don't need this, they have Codex.[/ironical remark]

 

Edit: missing word

[Brother Nathan]

ahh ok thats a different statement. ok ill try to rewrite the rain. the idea of the planet out of starwars where the clones were made i suppose should be advided....

And huh on the last bit?

Anyway thanks that was more what i was asking for.